• Member Since 23rd Apr, 2013
  • offline last seen 7 hours ago

Deep


"A world without friendship is a lonely world indeed."

T

Pinkie lives to make others smile.

But the world is far from a nice place, and not everypony deserves to smile. For the sake of Equestria, perhaps it is best for some ponies to be left to drown in their own misery.

Faced with such a pony, Pinkie is left with a choice. To make this pony smile, no matter the cost. Or to preserve her own happiness.

Then again, it's not like she ever had a choice.

** This is a tragedy. Warning so you know what you are getting into.


Sex is discussed and reflected on, but not shown.

Part of the How We Lost It series, inspired by Fluttershy's Night Out

Proofread by Schattendrache


Other Stories in the How We Lost It series:
Twilight: Running Away from Destiny
Applejack: A Simple Pony
Rarity: What is a Worthy Man?
Rainbow Dash: Deathbed Thoughts
Fluttershy: Coming soon!

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 22 )

Hoooleeeee sheeeeeeit. That was impressive. Well written and an interesting way to look at Pinkie's talent.

Again, I am impressed.

Okay, now cast a spell that makes Pinkie Pie forget the last week of time and it is mostly fixed. She actually did get the murderpony to smile, and most of what lost cause did would be revoked. The main issue would be if Pinkie were pregnant(unlikely in her current state, but in that case this could self-fix when she had the foal.)

...Remember that thing you said yesterday? About how we were all going to hate you for this story?

In my case, at least, you were absolutely right. That's not a good thing.

10507939

Hey, I gave ample warning for this story with the tags and warning in the long description haha.

Though I'm curious. Why specifically do you hate it?

I sincerely hope it's not just because bad things happen to Pinkie.

10507953

Hey, I gave ample warning for this story with the tags and warning in the long description haha.

I sincerely hope it's not just because bad things happen to Pinkie.

Oh, God no. I'd like to think I have thicker skin than that, thank you very much.

Though I'm curious. Why specifically do you hate it?

Oh, I could write an entire freaking essay about why I hated this. However, by this point I just want to be done with this story, so instead, I'll just give you a couple bullet points:

  • The character of Lost Cause is Darkness-Induced Apathy ponified. No joke, I've seen emo teenagers write more fleshed-out OCs. Her entire shtick, from top to bottom, is being a manic depressed psycho. Big deal.
  • Pinkie's internal crisis about her cutie mark defining her and Lost Cause's existences seems extremely overblown, especially seeing as, last I checked, an entire episode was dedicated to explaining that's not how it works!
  • May I remind you, Lost Cause tortured and raped Pinkie Pie—drove her to suicide, for fuck's sake!—and you're trying to pass that shit off as a personal triumph for Pinkie!?!? That we ought to "forgive" Lost Cause? ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT. Lost Cause is an irredeemable sack of shit, and I hope that shortly following this story's conclusion, Applejack rightfully beat that shit out of her.
  • Pinkie's notion that "everyone deserves happiness" doesn't add up. Last I checked, Sombra, the Storm King, Chrysalis, Tirek, and Cozy Glow aren't getting much in the way of "happiness".
  • Happiness at the expense of others is sadism. Last I checked, sadism is not a good thing. Pinkie should know this by now, and she should know not to be giving in to Lost Cause's fucked-up whims.
  • Okay, cool, Pinkie made Lost Cause smile. Too bad all of Pinkie's friends, family, and the creatures who idolized her are going to have to live with the fact she essentially committed suicide. The overall happiness in the world has gone down, my friend! This so-called triumph of Pinkie's nullifies itself and then some.

Look, you're a damned good writer, and I've loved most of the other stuff you've published in recently memory. But with this story, you managed to piss off both me as a critic and me as a person; a rare feat, I'd reckon.

And as I said before, that's not a good thing.

Sorry for wasting your time.

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You can't. Pinkie died at the end.

10508003

  • May I remind you, Lost Cause tortured and raped Pinkie Pie—drove her to suicide, for fuck's sake!—and you're trying to pass that shit off as a personal triumph for Pinkie!?!? That we ought to "forgive" Lost Cause? ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT. Lost Cause is an irredeemable sack of shit, and I hope that after this story, Applejack rightfully beat that shit out of her.

When did the story imply that the readers were supposed to forgive Lost Cause? You're supposed to hate her haha.

  • Happiness at the expense of others is sadism. Last I checked, sadism is not a good thing. Pinkie should know this by now, and she should not be giving in to Lost Cause's fucked-up whims.

You're free to think that, and it's not a wrong way to think. It's just that in my own personal interpretation of Pinkie, she'd defnitely end up doing something incredibly dumb and self-destructive like this.

You're not supposed to agree with it, and it's not the right decision. But it is the decision I believe Pinkie would make based on my own interpretation of her.

  • The character of Lost Cause is Darkness-Induced Apathy ponified. No joke, I've seen emo teenagers write more fleshed-out OCs.

If you're talking about Lost Cause's "woe is me" personality, then that was a front/lie to get Pinkie's sympathy. Lost Cause's real personality is shown in the ending scene with her.

Overall, none of your points are exactly wrong. It's just that this story is incredibly interesting and thought-provoking to me, which is why I wrote it. And it fits perfectly with my own personal interpretation of Pinkie. I knew from the beginning that it'd piss others off. I always wanted to see a true dark mirror of Pinkie, and how Pinkie would confront that.

And you didn't waste my time haha. I'm glad you enjoyed my other stories. I usually do a "one for me, one for them" with my stories. Consider this one for me ;)

Also:

You can't. Pinkie died at the end.

Pinkie isn't dead.

10508020

When did the story imply that the readers were supposed to forgive Lost Cause? You're supposed to hate her haha.

I got that we as readers were supposed to hate Lost Cause, but the fact that Pinkie doesn't

Despite everything that had happened, perhaps Pinkie’s actions had been worth it. Perhaps in the grand scheme of things, losing her own smile was the right thing to do. She had brought happiness to Lost Cause. She had saved Empty Soul. She had made everypony smile, and there was nothing more precious than that. She had proven that no matter how sad the pony, there was always a way to get them to smile.

As Applejack restarted her dash, consumed by vengeance, Pinkie forgave. Despite everything, she couldn’t hate Lost Cause, just as she couldn’t hate herself for refusing to flee the room. They were both puppets of fate, each destined to oppose the other due to a cutie mark they didn’t choose. If there was anypony to hate, it was the one writing the story of their lives.

—is something I find downright asinine. I'm appalled by the notion of Pinkie considering her permanent lobotomization a victory.

You're not supposed to agree with it, and it's not the right decision. But it is the decision I believe Pinkie would make based on my own interpretation of her.

If that's the decision you think she'd make, that's perfectly fine. I get that.

But as for me, personally? See the bullet point about the villains Pinkie assisted in incinerating, smashing to bits, and encasing in stone.

If you're talking about Lost Cause's "woe is me" personality, then that was a front/lie to get Pinkie's sympathy. Lost Cause's real personality is shown in the ending scene with her.

...Huh. That's something I'll admit I didn't fully catch on to, and that's entirely on me. I've partly changed my mind in that regard.

On the other hand... her real personality is "raping and torturing ponies"? Doesn't seem like a huge step up, if I'm being honest.


My persisting qualms aside, thanks for the response—especially seeing as my original comments were a bit... curt, for lack of a better word. You certainly riled me up, I'll give you that.

Take care.
(Unless you want to respond to this comment too. Whatever works best for you, really.)
:)

10508041

If that's the decision you think she'd make, that's perfectly fine. I get that.

But as for me, personally? See the bullet point about the villains Pinkie assisted in incinerating, smashing to bits, and encasing in stone.

Imagine if any of those villains met Pinkie one on one and asked her to give them a happier life. You don't think Pinkie would take it as a challenge to help them? Keep in mind those villains you pointed out were actively attacking Equestria. Lost Cause wasn't actively doing anything in Pinkie's eyes until the very end of the story. Big difference there, since Lost Cause was not an active threat like those villains.

On the other hand... her real personality is "raping and torturing ponies"? Doesn't seem like a huge step up, if I'm being honest.

Well, she is Pinkie's dark mirror. Pinkie's special talent is to spread laughter and happiness, and Lost Cause's special talent is to spread misery and suffering.

The reason she raped Pinkie is because Pinkie came out as asexual in this fic. Lost Cause causes suffering based on the best way to hurt her victim, and Pinkie admitted that losing her virginity would cause her to lose her connection to her Element.

My persisting qualms aside, thanks for the response—especially seeing as my original comments were a bit... curt, for lack of a better word

Feel free to be as harsh as possible haha. It's always interesting seeing how my interpretation of the characters and others' interpretation conflicts :)

10508061

Of course Pinkie could be incorrect about losing her connection to the element. She pretty much said that she couldn't love(eros) other ponies because she loves(agape/philia) all other ponies and that would set one above all the others. Essentially she lost herself here and the mind wipe of the last week should be able to fix things. It is one of the few cases where I would espouse that sort of mind magic. Oddly enough this is the second time recently where I would condone use of mind magic on a pony and usually I am very against that sort of thing in a general way. Also oddly enough both cases involved rape of a pony.

Oh, as for hating lost soul -- that is a problem with cutie marks. Cozy Glow was doomed the minute her mark came in. Same with this pony. This is one major thing with fillies/colts. They get the wrong cutie mark and they are really stuck, as completely denying your mark and working against it is not in a pony's nature. There might actually be a place for Starlight Glimmer's cutie mark spell.

10508119

Oh, as for hating lost soul -- that is a problem with cutie marks. Cozy Glow was doomed the minute her mark came in. Same with this pony. This is one major thing with fillies/colts. They get the wrong cutie mark and they are really stuck, as completely denying your mark and working against it is not in a pony's nature.

Yep. Even though I believe that ponies can go against their cutie mark if they truly wish to, it's so rare that we never even see it in the show. Which is why I don't really consider Lost Cause a villain, since she never had a say in her life's story. That doesn't make her any less disgusting and deserving of hate, though.

10507848

Really glad you enjoyed it :twilightsmile:

Holy shit this is very dark. Not the kind that makes you rage on the inside for what the characters did, but the kind that makes you feel empty. Having said that, I'm glad you wrote this story. A new perspective on the world of pones is truly refreshing, even if it rips your heart out.
Imagine if MLP is rated 18+/M instead of a kids show. I'm curious how the show creator and writers would handle subjects like this.

10517730

Making people feel empty was my goal haha. Glad you liked it!

I kind of hope that when this little series finishes, you do a series that could be considered "equal but opposite": Just as deep, but instead of making the readers feel empty or sad, it makes them feel happy.

Perhaps yearning wasn’t the proper word to describe Pinkie’s desire to make everypony smile. Compulsion was more fitting, or even obsession . Spreading happiness was her reason for living, and her role as the Element of Laughter only intensified this drive. Even if she was naked and one minute away from freezing to death, she would have been just as excited to fill this town with smiles.

Um, sorry if I'm being a nitpicky asshole, but most ponies are always naked, so saying "even if she was naked" doesn't really hold any weight.
The rest of it does, though, so I'll shut up...

Hundreds of ponies filled Empty Soul, each one of them alone.

I was very tempted to make a joke about them not being alone because there are hundreds of them, but I decided against it.

Actually-

"YE FECKIN' IDIOTS! IF THERE ARE HUNDREDS OF YOU, YER NOT ALONE! QUIT BEIN' FECKIN' DEBBIE DOWNERS, AND SOCIALIZE MORE, YE PALE FREAKS!"

I am so sorry...

“Lost Cause, eh? A name like that is just unfair,” Pinkie said.

Hey! That's what my family call me all the time!
...
That's a good thing, right?

“I’ve imagined the answer. Several times, in fact.” As the weight of Lost Cause’s isolation sank in, her misty hue began blurring further, to the point that it looked like her physical form was fading away into actual mist. Pinkie needed to do a double take to make sure she wasn’t going crazy again. Lost Cause’s body was indeed transforming into a ghostly vapor, but only for a half-second at a time. It was as if she was glitching in and out of reality.

"Shit, I think I need to replace my graphics card again." Pinkie said, her brow furrowing.

Pinkie would rather kill herself than allow a pony to end their life.

i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/facebook/000/031/197/visible.jpg

Pinkie’s contemplation continued for a few minutes until the sun fully set, after which Lost Cause asked, “Do you believe in ghosts?”

I'm expecting an "I see dead people" joke for some reason.

“I made my family kill themselves to get mine.”

Yeah, this is where I head out-


jk jk

"Inspired" by a real story

Reminds me of a random horror movie I watched recently.

Yeah, anyway, that was not what I was expecting.

At all.

yet, it was still pretty good.

9/10
Time to move to the next chapter.

“I know the truth,”

“And what in tarnation is that supposed to mean?”

“About myself. I’m pathetic, a slave. I’m no different than her .”

Well.
That's a dramatic conclusion to come to.

“Everything. Your favorite color, favorite food, favorite hobby, favorite position to sleep in, and stuff that's a heck of a lot weirder than that. Everything about this mare is a lie. I’d be willing to bet that her name isn’t even Lost Cause.”

Ngl, I think we should vote Lost Cause, she seeming kinda sus

“You see, I like you, but as more than a friend.” The sound of Lost Cause’s voice dug its way deeper into the depths of Pinkie’s mind, causing her to tremble. Keeping her eye on her prey, Lost Cause walked to the door and shut it. “I feel a physical connection with you.” She shifted her gaze to a nearby poster, focusing her lecherous eyes on Pinkie’s features. The way Pinkie’s cheeks popped out when she smiled, the way her cheeriness radiated outward. She returned her gaze to Pinkie, not with the warm eyes of a lover, but with the cold, piercing glare of a predator. “You weren’t lying when you said you didn’t have a special somepony, right?”

Welp, this is where we grab the FBI.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to kill you.” Lost Cause lifted her hoof, pointing the blade at her own carotid artery. “Sleep with me. Now. Or I kill myself.”

What.
The.
Actual.
Fuck.

If you were going to be alone, why be a part of this world at all?

This..
I don't know how to feel about this.


Anyway, that gave me actual chills.
I never want to read that again.

10/10

Anyway, I schleep

Dayum, this is some deep shit right here.

I love it. Very well done.

Apparently this is why your username is Deep. Seriously, I knew this would be a tragedy but this is one of the darkest stories I've read on Fimfiction in a while. Ouch...

11077239

Can't believe I didn't respond to this yet.

I was actually really nervous about publishing this, since I knew a lot of people wouldn't like it. But this story was just too interesting *to me* not to publish.

Check out the other short stories in this little series. You'll probably like them too.

11143761
This is part of a series?! I need to read all of these IMMEDIATELY!! *dashes off and leaves a cloud of dust behind*

Perhaps yearning wasn’t the proper word to describe Pinkie’s desire to make everypony smile. Compulsion was more fitting, or even obsession . Spreading happiness was her reason for living, and her role as the Element of Laughter only intensified this drive. Even if she was naked and one minute away from freezing to death, she would have been just as excited to fill this town with smiles.

Nope, not healthy at all. Haven't read this fic yet but reading the tags gives me a good idea where this is going...

11316080

Warning, this is pretty dark haha.

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