Gan Teideal

by Vedavyasa

Friendship

Kevin stood staring incredulously at Carousel Boutique. “Jiminy?” he asked quietly.

The cricket chirped an inquisitive chirp.

“Tell me this is a dream.”

The cricket chirped a negative chirp.

“She lives in a merry-go-round.”

The cricket chirped an affirmative chirp.

“I hate everythin’.”

The cricket chirped an amused chirp.

Kevin flicked him off his shoulder, only to be rewarded with an indignant chirp.

Kevin strode forward and, noticing an open sign on the door, walked directly inside. He felt a strange resistance at the door, but pushed through it. He immediately felt weaker and somewhat tired, and reasoned that he had just crossed a threshold.

“Welcome to Carousel Boutique!” came a musical voice, “where every garment is chic, unique, and-“ the voice cut off as Rarity rounded a corner to see Kevin. “Ah. The ruffian,” she said, her voice disdaining and flat.

“Yes,” Kevin replied grandly, sweeping his arm and making a deep yet mocking bow. “Come to invade thy home and ravage thee senseless. Also, to apologise.”

Rarity quirked an eyebrow. Kevin took this as a signal to continue.

“The words that passed my lips were the words of a drunken man,” he began, keeping his tone grandiose. “I offer to thee my sincerest apologies, in hope that thy heart will find within itself the mercy to forgive a fool.”

Rarity raised her other eyebrow. “It’s thine heart I believe. I must confess, though my generosity may be boundless, I am scarcely of the mind to so easily forget such an insult.” Rarity’s tone was every bit as magnificent as Kevin’s, and the human grinned slightly.

“And gracefully I concede that your position is one of reason, for words have power, and mine were intended to be malicious.”

“What do I hear from this barbarians tongue? Talk of reason? This can scarce be the creature that so clouded my life not a full day past!”

“Lies!” Kevin exclaimed, “it is I, in flesh and soul! The one who did in such a base manner slight thee! I am come to beg of thee nought but forgiveness, and if fortune should so grant, a second chance.”

“Honeyed words and silvered tongue speak so little to the weary ear, I fear.”

“I speak not to the distrusting ear, but only to the heart,” Kevin replied, his voice quiet. “For while the mind may long labour to forget, the heart does so easily forgive.”

“Alas, though my soul does grieve for your plight, I am creature ruled more by reason than the whimsy of emotion.” Despite her words, Rarity was now grinning as well.

“Then reason shall have its chance! Lady Rarity, I do lay a challenge upon thee, in the custom of my people, to prove my sincerity. Name thy champion, and in single combat I shall prevail to show my cause just and heart pure of malice!”

Rarity’s grin faded to an expression of mild surprise. “If it is your wish, I shall accept this challenge, and for a champion I name myself.”

Kevin nodded in satisfaction. “Then I surrender to thee the right of selecting location and time, as is only proper.”

“Now,” Rarity said, eyes flashing with excitement, “outside.”

“I must protest” Kevin replied, “there must be an arbiter, and one is hardly available.”

“Fair,” Rarity decided, “and so I choose Twilight Sparkle as arbiter of our dispute.”

Rarity rolled the Name off of her lips exactly as Twilight did, and with a small flash of light the purple unicorn appeared. “You called, Rarity?”

The white unicorn nodded. “Twilight, please be a dear and moderate a fight between me and Kevin.”

Twilight shot a sharp glare at the human, but Rarity spoke again before a word could pass her lips.

“Twilight, this challenge was freely given and accepted. You can hardly interfere.”

Twilight’s glare faded into an expression of annoyance, but she nodded. “If that’s what you both want. Have you decided any rules?”

Kevin spoke up first. “No magic.”

Twilight looked to Rarity, who nodded. “Anything else?”

“Yes,” said Rarity. “I remember those boots, Kevin. Take them off.”

Kevin murmured assent. Twilight waited a moment, but both combatants were silent.

Rarity strode with confidence as she exited the boutique, and Twilight followed. Kevin trailed behind, wondering what demon had possessed him to make with the Shakespearean English. Outside, Jiminy was hopping about impatiently. He seemed surprised to see Twilight, but quickly reasoned her purpose and hopped over to Kevin.

“I assume she accepted the rematch?”

Kevin nodded. “Yep. No magic, I take off my boots.”

Jiminy chirped excitedly. “This is going to be quite fun. Don’t hold back, Kevin. Rarity might look like the little lady, but she’s a tough customer no doubt.”

Kevin cringed a little. “No shit Sherlock.”

Rarity stopped, and Kevin examined the boutiques back yard. It was an open space, the grass trimmed short and neat with no mud or dirt to be seen. He sighed in relief; glad he wouldn’t have to overly dirty his last clean shirt, and removed his boots. When he straightened, Rarity was waiting expectantly in a small circle freshly dug in the ground. He stepped through, and again felt a slight tension. He guessed that the circle made the use of magic impossible, and settled in a fighting crouch.

Rarity raised an eyebrow. This wasn’t the sloppy stance he had adopted in the bar. His knees were slightly bent, lowering his centre of gravity and allowing for quick motion. His arms were loose, left hanging near his stomach and right just below his face. His hands were half open, equally ready to catch a hoof or launch a quick punch. He looked calm and confident, sure of himself.

Rarity adopted her own fighting stance, and Twilight walked over to stand just outside the small circle. Her horn glowed, and there was an audible snap as the circle closed. “Neither of you may cross this line,” she began, “nor may you use magic. The fight will be ended when one of you submits, is knocked unconscious, or I deem a received injury to be overly severe.”

Both combatants nodded.

“Fight.”

Rarity moved first, four strong legs propelling herself forward before she turned and rocketed both rear hooves at Kevin’s chest.

Kevin’s reflexes would have made a striking snake look sluggish. He stepped back, and as soon her hooves were fully extended he quickly danced a semi circle and planted a firm kick directly in the unicorn’s side. Rarity wheezed, the impact driving the breath from her, but she moved again before Kevin could capitalise on the opportunity.

Kevin followed her, a fast left hand reaching for her horn. Rarity ducked her head to avoid the grip, and his unseen right connected directly against her neck. Panicking slightly, Rarity swung her head back and forced Kevin to jump back or be stabbed by her horn.

Rarity settled in her fighting stance again, and eyed Kevin warily. She had assumed he would fight like a thug, relying on power to win, but he was fast. Far faster than she was. He was strong as a pegasus as well, and she knew she was at a disadvantage against the sober human. Kevin saw her thoughts, and let loose a cocky grin as he waited for her to move again.

Rarity instead waited, forcing him to start the next exchange. He did, darting forward with a raised knee. The unicorn barely avoided the attack, and responded with a jabbed hoof to his hip. Kevin staggered, but he shot his foot towards Rarity and forced her back.

“You’re good,” Rarity said, complimenting her opponent.

Kevin smiled. “Had to be sharp back home, or I’d be long dead. You aren’t half bad either.”

Rarity smiled back, and immediately weaved side to side. Kevin followed her with his eyes, but didn’t budge his body an inch. Rarity mentally cursed him, he wasn’t just good, he had instincts on his side as well. She was going to need to outthink him if she wanted to win.

She planted a hoof firmly against the ground, and flicked up a chunk of sod at his face. Kevin swatted it out of the air with his left hand, but the movement cost him dearly. Rarity landed a solid right hoof against his stomach, and he bent over with a wheeze. She had struck his solar plexus by convenient chance.

Before he could right himself, her left hoof struck him directly on the forehead. Kevin staggered back, the blow landing hard enough to split his skin. Twilight looked ready to call off the fight, but Kevin quickly motioned that he wasn’t badly hurt. He wiped some blood from over his eyes, and settled back down to wait for Rarity.

She didn’t disappoint him. She moved fast, jerking from side to side again in an attempt to disorient him. Kevin replied with a powerful backhand, catching her directly across the mouth with a loud crack. Rarity blinked, the sharp stinging pain nearly bring tears to her eyes, and when she opened them again Kevin’s knee was inches from her face. She gritted her teeth and lowered her head slightly, taking the blow against her forehead before staggering back and blinking a few more times.

When her mind cleared, she saw Kevin holding a hand to his knee in obvious pain. Rarity grinned, it had been risky take such a powerful strike, but the blow had hurt him more than her. She moved forward again, intending to finish the fight, but Kevin surprised her.

He jumped, twisting his body as he did, and his uninjured leg whipped toward her face. She couldn’t react in time, and his heel connected hard just above her temple.

The force of the blow drove Rarity to the ground, Kevin following. His hand reached around her throat, and she found herself locked in a choke hold, cutting off blood to her brain. She panicked again, jerking her head, but the human’s grip was too strong. After several seconds of pain, she blacked out and Kevin released the grip, rolling over to lie on his back.

The fight had taken just over a minute.

Kevin limply dug a cigarette, bent at an odd angle, and his lighter out of a pocket before lighting up and taking a few sad little puffs. He hurt. He had a headache, his knee felt like the bone was cracked, his right hand was throbbing, and his eyes stung where blood had flown into them. He never would have believed a pony that stood four feet high could be so tough. He had expected his first punch to bring the unicorn down.

Kevin took another sad little puff on his cigarette before deciding he hated his life at that moment.

He hated it even more when he heard a little worried chirp directly beside his ear. Irritably, he grunted out a monosyllabic portmanteau of fuck and off.

“Neolithic language. He can’t be hurt too badly. How did Rarity fare?”

“I’m surprised she’s not comatose after that knee to the forehead, but she’s alright. She’s going to have some terrific bruises around her throat though, and one hay of a headache.”

Kevin felt something float over him before Jiminy delivered his own concise injury report. “Well. He may have won, but Kevin is decidedly worse off. His knee cap is cracked down the centre, he has a concussion, his heel has a hairline fracture, two of his knuckles are broken, and there’s some damage to his solar plexus. That’s aside from a nasty laceration on his forehead, and his hip is going to be sore for a while. I assume you’d like me to heal his major injuries?”

“Of course, but leave anything less serious than broken bones. He’s got to learn what happens when you fight.”

“Shove that horn up your ass,“ Kevin shot at Twilight, “I’ve had worse. I know what happens in a fight better than you.”

“He’s right,” Jiminy cut in, “there’s signs of some pretty bad wounds in his past. Unless I miss my guess, he nearly had his neck broken once.”

Kevin grunted an affirmative. “Big bastard threw me off a roof. He’s dead now.”

Twilight inhaled sharply. “You killed him?”

Kevin wheezed out a small laugh. “Never got the chance. A man I was working for cut his throat for trying to kill me.”

“What exactly did you do, Kevin? That’s not normal!”

“Work,” Kevin said, his tone one of complete finality.

“Kevin,” Twilight said in a warning tone.

The faint ghost of a smile played on Kevin’s lips. “Work,” he repeated.

Twilight let out a raspy, annoyed groan.

Kevin’s smile grew a little.

“Kevin,” Twilight began again in a very reasonable tone, “I swear that you can tell me. I can keep a secret.”

“So?” Kevin asked, glancing over at the small unicorn. She looked almost hurt.

“You don’t trust me,” she stated, confident she was right.

Kevin’s smile faded. “Don’t take it personal. Trust gets a body dead where I come from.”

“This isn’t where you came from,” Twilight reminded him.

Kevin locked his lips and shook his head.

“Well, if you feel like trusting the pony that’s letting you stay in her home, I’ll be at the library.”

With that, Twilight winked away.

“All done,” Jiminy said. “You’ll be sore, but mobile.”

Kevin blinked, surprised he hadn’t noticed Jiminy’s healing magic. With a loud groan, he pushed himself upright and stood firm. Jiminy had been truthful, he was a little sore but no sharp pains assaulted his nerves. A few stretches, and he found his movement wasn’t impeded at all.

Rarity groaned, and Kevin directed his attention at the white unicorn. She was staring at him with no small amount of respect and what seemed to be satisfaction.

“Kevin, do me one favour and all your sins will be forgiven.”

“What?”

“The next time a stallion offends me, do to him what you did to me.”

“Aye, I can do that for a friend.”

Rarity’s smile was wide and beaming. “You’re a darling when you’re sober.”

Kevin made a short, mocking bow and offered his hand to help Rarity up. The unicorn accepted with a gracious nod, and before long the pair were walking back towards her boutique.

“Say,” Rarity began curiously, “how in the world are you so fast? I thought you would fight like a thug, given your size.”

Kevin blinked once in surprise, then laughed his harsh and roaring laugh. “My size? I’m tiny!”

Now Rarity blinked. “You mean humans get bigger than you?”

Kevin nodded. “Six foot isn’t that rare.”

Rarity shook her head once. “My, a race of giants. Do humans get much stronger than you, or just taller?”

Kevin grinned. “I once knew a man that could life a six hundred pound chunk of iron by himself.”

Rarity did a double take, utterly shocked that a mortal being could be so strong. “My heavens! It’s completely unheard of for a unicorn or pegasus to be that strong here, although some of the larger earth ponies could match that. Why, Applejack could probably come close. Some advice from the heart Kevin, never fight an earth pony if you can avoid it. It’s almost unnatural how strong they are, and they simply never stay down.”

Kevin flexed his hands. “Slow though, I’ll bet.”

“Well, yes,” Rarity conceded, “but it hardly matters. You don’t know very much about the three tribes do you?”

Kevin shook his head, not understanding what she meant.

“The unicorns, the pegasi, and the earth ponies. Each have strengths and weaknesses in combat. Unicorns have magic, pegasi are extremely fast both in the air and on the ground, and earth ponies are tough and strong. You’re faster than an earth pony, but slower than most pegasi. You’re about as strong as a pegasus too.”

“And I've got magic,” Kevin cut in, flexing his fingers and producing a small ball of cherry red flame with a muttered word.

Rarity’s eyes widened. “You never told me humans can use magic!”

“We can’t. I can. Won it in a bet with Celestia.”

Kevin didn’t understand how, but Rarity’s already white face blanched. “You gambled? With Celestia? With one of the Other? Are you insane?” the unicorn practically hissed. “Do you know how dangerous that is? Did she tell you that she’ll be back? The Other love bargains and wagers! You’ll never be rid of her.”

Kevin shrugged. “Why should I care? I won’t take a bet I don’t like.”

Rarity sighed in exasperation. “You don’t understand Kevin. The Princesses are wonderful beings for Other, but they’re still Other. They don’t think like us, and they have different standards. Exact words and loopholes play a large part of their society. So does the concept of revenge. You won a bet with Celestia, she’ll be compelled to balance that. She’ll keep coming back for more wagers, with increasingly higher stakes, until she’s won more from you than you could from her. She won’t be open about it either, she’ll trick you. Luna is even worse.”

Kevin stared at the unicorn, sceptical. “I’ve met ‘em both. They seemed nice enough.”

“Oh they are!” Rarity agreed as she opened the door to her combined shop and home, “wonderful beings, some of the best. They’re generous, kind, and exceedingly well spoken. That doesn’t mean they’re safe to gamble with.”

Kevin shrugged again. “Too late to go back now.”

“Indeed it is, and for your sake you’d best hope I’m being paranoid. Would you care to come in for a moment, perhaps chat a while?”

Kevin shook his head. “I need to stretch me legs, do some running and climbin’.”

“Climbing, whatever do you mean?”

Kevin smiled at the unicorn. “Go to your upstairs window.”

Rarity cocked her head, but closed her door. Kevin heard hoofsteps as he stepped back and examined the building, putting Jiminy on his shoulder as he did. After a few moments planning a route up the side, he jumped and grabbed a frilly overhang over the door. Hauling himself up with just his arms, he found he had little room and so he plastered himself against the building. He jumped again, grabbing the metal support of an ornamental pony and hoping it would hold.

It did, and so Kevin climbed hand over hand until he was standing on top the fake equine. Another jump and he hauled himself up to stand beside the window, waiting for Rarity. A few moments later, the window opened. Rarity’s head poked out, looking down and around for Kevin. With a grin, Kevin slipped in the window over Rarity and landed in a crouch.

Rarity shrieked in surprise, but calmed down when she realised what had happened. “You climbed that wall faster than I walked up the stairs? That’s amazing!”

Kevin grinned. “And for my next trick, I’ll need you to step away from the window and leave it open.”

Rarity looked confused again but did as she was asked. Jiminy wisely decided to abandon his position and hopped away to stand on the sill. “I’ll see you on the ground, Kevin.”

Rarity looked at the cricket and raised an eyebrow. “You talk?”

“I talk,” Jiminy confirmed before hopping clear out the window. Kevin stepped back, and shooed Rarity further away the window. When she was well clear, he ran and took a dive from the window, throwing himself as far as he could to clear the overhangs on the side of the building. He heard a shocked gasp from behind him, but ignored it. He needed to concentrate now; if he landed wrong he’d snap his neck.

His fingers touched the ground first, and with a light flex he turned his headfirst dive into a forward roll onto his feet, taking a few jogging steps to kill his momentum. A glance behind nearly made him stumble and fall, as Rarity was hanging out the window with her jaw so far down it looked dislocated. With a jaunty two finger salute, Kevin picked up his pace and began running through Ponyville with a marathon stride, hoping Jiminy could keep up.

Comments

[Vedavyasa]

Hey, another little scrap!

And next chapter, a chase scene!

[FastShadow78]

He must be an Assassin. He has the legendary Femurs Of Steel

[OdinBrony]

MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE

[OdinBrony]

PLEASE

[Vedavyasa]

1611961

Ah'm workin', ah'm workin....

[iCuddles]

Is our friend Kevin from Assasin's creed or smth?