Another Harry Potter crossover fanfic (in general; it's actually my first one.) This time, however, I'm giving Harry to somepony a little less scrupulous.
Chrysalis had been planning for the attack on Canterlot for years.
When she wanted to relax, she would walk through an odd portal that led to a world unfamiliar to her.
It was during one of these walks that she stumbled upon the blood wards of #4 Privet Drive... and the negative emotions of one Harry James Potter.
Upon the further investigation she had ordered, Chrysalis discovered the true depths of these emotions.
She also ended up linking Harry into her hive physically and mentally. A whoopsie for most, but for Chrysalis, it presented a chance to give a better life to Harry.
The only downside was that she needed to rethink her plans to include Harry.
The Wizarding World shall beware Prince Harry Chrysalia...
The cover image is a DeviantArt picture from seahawk270. Go support the original creator!
Witch one of your stories is the previous one?
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I meant another crossover in general.
Between the DeviantArt version and the version here, I elaborated on some things, and even wrote an entirely new scene (the gathering and address. I cut out a part about Sirius Black because that would be a little soon.)
Also, to whoever disliked my story: Read it first.
seems like it could be interesting, will follow.
I love this! This is so original and well-written! I am definitely adding this to my watch list!
Great start, I look forward to where this goes.
Well, barely a few hours and it's already having good remarks...
I have a good feeling.
pretty good start. following
An interesting take on things. I look forward to more.
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Pretentious of you to assume there's no way someone would dislike your story unless they didn't read it first.
A really good story hope to see more soon!
I hate hive minds
Interesting, tracking now.
This feels like a plot synopsis. It's very "and then this happened, and then this happened". There's no real time given to developing what's going on which is a shame as the core idea is kind of a fascinating one.
I am loving the start of this. Please update this often. I really want to see where this story goes.
Alright, I'm interested. Kinda hoped Harry's old "family" (if you can even call that a family) would've gotten hexed or cursed.
It is interesting. But my mind went off on a rather different tangent as I got into it. Namely how Harry's existence might complicate, in a good way, the situation with Cadence and Shining Armor. There is no way Cadence especially would not be fully on board with Chrysalis' actions in regard to Harry.
Full confession, I'm rather a fan of Chrysalis marrying into Cadence and Shining Armor's marriage, in a positive way.
One complaint, Not even Dumbledore at this point was fully aware of Voldemort's former identity. He had suspicions I believe, but his whole searching of his old memories and those of others was to establish the link. So I think Chrysalis learning so much right off the bat was against canon, and also wasted the plot opportunity for them to discover it as time went on.
Please rethink the coloration of Thorax and Chrysalis, they are pretty hard to read, expect that, I have nothing to complain and am honestly curios how this will continue.
Out of couriosity, how old is Harry currently?
There is a fan theory that all of the Dursley family's abuse of Harry was caused by Horcrux in Harry's body.
Discord
10477705
I had planned to continue the one where Harry is Luna's friend while she's on the moon but I asked original author of it and he said no seriously I wish I could have done anything but they stopped right in the middle of year two
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What, WaTLP?
I feel you. I want the next bit of Chamber of Secrets soon too, but stories take time.
Sometimes you have to flesh out chapters from your planned out overarching plotline, and unless you have a time stop device that doesn't affect your computer's functions or a lot of free time, writing can take days.
That's not even going into distractions and events you have planned, or trying to make sure you don't write yourself into a corner or a point where your story is as crazy as Cosmos.
And I cannot take credit for most of this wisdom; it was on a HSDXD Gamer fic from one of my favorite fanfic writers not on this site; Phoenix Champion.
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Well, actually, yes, Discord seems the type, but keep in mind he's locked up.
I was thinking of... someone exclusively from around my cluster.
After all, the stony-loney isn't that weak.
It warms my heart to see the Pact honored.
People flock to this tale to hear it.
And let me assure you, the next part is in the works.
I just need to hear back from my first proofreader.
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While, yes, Voldemort's true name is not common knowledge and Chrysalis probably wouldn't uncover it with a simple search, Dumbledore absolutely knew his identity beforehand. His reaction to the diary in The Chamber of Secrets is:
All the faffing about with memories in The Half-Blood Prince is just an excuse for JKR to spread a bunch of exposition out throughout the book so that Harry can "know his enemy" when in reality it could have all been covered in a single night. Hell, he hires Slughorn in order to get the memory from him, but he doesn't even tell Harry about it until after Christmas. HBP really is pretty much the worst book of the lot.
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Yes, exactly.
Besides, who's to say Chrysalis hadn't sent some changelings to soak information from the local amenities as inanimate objects, or that Thorax didn't make a few stops?
I endeavour to provide a "know thy target" approach to Chrysalis taking care of Harry.
Besides, at least I didn't add Chrysalis learning of Sirius Black's detainment-without-trial. That seemed too fast to start on the problem.
This is a very interesting start. I look forward to seeing where you take this tale.
I've read a few HP/MLP crossovers before, but never one like this. Consider me hyped for subsequent chapters.
Edit: Also, as an editor myself, I'm impressed by the writing quality in this chapter. Keep it up.
Edit edit: If you want to embed pictures from deviantArt, you need to reupload them to an image hosting site. I don't know for sure, but last I knew imgur doesn't work here, so you'd have to use something else.
Dumbles would NOT be this passive to learn that Harry was out from his future control not to mention the loss of the Potter Seats and wealth that he gained when he sealed Lily and Jame's wills to gain magical guardianship of Harry.
Before reading fun-fact... Did you know, 'Dumbledore' is an Old-English term for 'Bumblebee'
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Are we talking about a manipulative flankhole Dumbles?
I was aiming for "well-meaning Greater Good" Dumbles.
I mean, I had planned for Chrysalis to bash him for placing Harry with the Dursleys, and also for Sirius Black's detainment without trial, but also, keep in mind he knows nothing about the Hive at this point.
He can surmise, but until McGonagall shows up, he doesn't know a thing about Changelings.
And the seats? Well, as I recall, they were to be inherited on his majority, and as for money, Harry won't need the Potter fortune.
How? Well, I had plans for that...
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I do try. I correct any spelling error I might make, and I pride myself on delivering quality dialogue.
My new proofreader is helping me work on the next chapter.
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Well yeah, gold and gems are plentiful in Equestria. (Also, most writers go with aluminum being a rare metal in Equestria like gold is to us, so a few trips back and forth could make the hive very, very rich.)
Question: Do you think Crystalline Cloud looks too much like Fausticorn as a unicorn with no mark?
I don't want Crystalline Cloud to look too much like Fausticorn. I plugged her colors into Pony Creator to make an image of her, and it turned out pretty well.
Also, the Picture Gallery is up and running! Crystalline Cloud in a general pose is the first image I posted, so check her out!
How could she investigate someone shes never heard of, nor has Dumbles told her anything about them yet.? I look forward to more though!
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Imagine Dumbledore explained in the interim.
when Albus says how prepared are to defend him he means the death eaters and voldemor or is he going to try and retrieve him?
10480651
Both are one and the same
Then please explain to me why she threatened Thorax in canon, when he went to rescue the Princesses and the Elements of Harmony bearers. Like, really threatened his personal health and safety.
Really? Shouldn't you still be stoned right now? If you can still alter reality whilst stoned...why not do that in other, similarly small but prankish, ways? Like replace Celestia's drinks with toilet water, or move their Royal garments whilst they're not looking, or change the taste of Celestia's desserts to asparagus or booger? Make it so Luna's Royal Canterlot Voice comes out as a Fluttershy scream? Replace the flowers in Twilight's sandwiches with Poison Joke, and prevent her (or anyone else) from noticing the colour difference?
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It's OOC, yes, but I wanted to make her more sympathetic, for Harry's benefit.
Consider this:
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Compare Dumbles from this excerpt of Magic School Days ch. 23:
with Dumbles from this excerpt from this story:
I want my Dumbledore to come across as curious of Harry's newfound power, trying to replicate or command it, but not so much trying to dig for gold or power.
I want him to say and swear on his life and magic that he's got enough power he didn't want, and that being Harry's magical guardian was only done to avoid it being contested by Dark families that evaded justice by pleading Imperio.
I gave him that pang of joy in his heart because this Dumbledore regrets everything about sending Harry unto certain death to destroy that Horcrux, and now that it's gone, he has all the time in the seven year term to make it up to Harry, earn forgiveness, and show Harry all the good things in their world.
And I want Harry's inheritance to be used in a manner of attaining a form of property for the Hive to operate out of in the Wizarding World as a solid position by Dumbledore as courtesy and repayment.
10482006
tl;dr: Falak was visiting.
It's actually because of him the Wizarding World and this Equestria can be travelled between; he first opened the connection and got Chrysalis interested (aka, he brought them together, opened a portal, and made her mad at him so she would chase him) 2 years ago. (Chrysalis eventually learned how to traverse the boundary herself using flame portals.)
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Death Eaters.
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I wanted them to be distinctly "Thorax pre-supplant" and "Chrysalis" colors. You can't get more distinct than the eye colors (supplied by the MLP wiki.)
What do you think would be good colors?
10484461
If you make them a bit darker, it would be a good start.
I know that the possible textcolors are limited, but I am sure you can make it work.
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Oh... wait. Right. It is Discord.
But I never said which Discord.
(It's Elytra's Discord.)
Okay, I can't make up my mind on the topic.
Let's just say that Falak or "Rival Chitin!Discord" will be the two main writers of inexplicable letters.
Invasion of a city is the least logical thing Chrysalis could have done if she wants to collect love. Unless she is planning on being blasted by a pink shockwave. Hopefully, next chapter wouldn't take long.
Loved the update and i look forward to more!