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This story is a sequel to What Follows Hugs
A foal is found lost in the snow, the tsuki, warm-hearted rabbit folk, take him in just long enough to realize he may belong to the ponies nearby. His name is Harry, and his fate was knocked a little off course.
Set after What Follows Hugs, but we're likely to wander away from our rabbit friends, as a young Harry Potter needs to be taken care of by other ponies. He is a pony, right?
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How did Cadance know his name? It feels like once “Harry” arrives there is a time skip but it just happens without mention. Now I wonder what happened during those years.
10718316
Ponies, with oddly prescient names? You're right, I've gone too far.
To chase after, to hurt, torture, to play with prey before killing.
To Harry?
Really ope Arvy dont land on a table when e drops in, ell break em.
I have to agree badninja -- things seem to jump erratically.
I almost get the impression that you wrote this and didn't bother to re-read it for errors. You wouldn't do that, right? The only other point is that this:
doesn't fit, at all. First, how does he know what a wizard is? And doesn't he feel he is already real and proper? i find that sentence confusing.
Overall, it feels like you're making unwarranted assumptions about what your readers will understand from the prose.
Perhaps that's why the down-votes are so many, so fast?
10719559
Wizard is a term used in MLP already, Star Swirl being one big famous one. Not all unicorns are wizards.
10719667
I guess that's what I find confusing if he's a unicorn. Does he not think Twilight or Cadance are witches, then? After all, if the definition of wizard is someone who does magic, the unicorns match that by default. Which is why I wonder why he wants to become a "proper" wizard. unless he's thinking "famous" as proper, like the alicorns?
It just doesn't seem to fit, to me.
10719689
You're arguing MLP canon at this point, but if you want my take it is such: Any unicorn can use some magic, telekinesis and light coming almost naturally, also tricks related to their cutie mark.
Very few learn how magic actually 'works' or tries to broaden their magic outside of that comfort zone. Twilight does this. Starlight does this. Star Swirl does this. Rarity, despite being a unicorn, does not, and is not a wizard. She could not read a book of magic very well or expect to try a new spell (possibly succeeding with funny results).
None of this has to do with this story, mind. None of this was invented by this story. This is all pre-existing. I didn't make it up either, so far I know.
10719699
I suppose it's because it comes across so . . . quickly. There isn't any embellishment. Even adding "just like Star Swirl!" would help in understanding what he's thinking.
Also, you're really vague on his age, and how long he's been there. For example, having Cadance remark either "for the relatively short time the colt and filly had known each other." or "that he had moved into her heart over the years wasn't a surprise."
You know, just some indication that he had been there for time.
Of course, the exact time would be revealed later, when he went to Hogwarts and told people what he last remembered as a boy.
Plus, depending on how long he was in the Crystal Empire, is he crystal, too? Does he remember being on two legs? Did he have trouble adapting, at first?
A thought someone mentioned to me in another story with a crystal pony -- does being crystal mean he refracts/reflects spells? Like a prism? Or merely like a curved piece of glass or mirror?
That crystal-stuff is plain weird, even for ponies. You can't see any internal organs (thank god!), but you DO see vague outlines of darker areas inside the ponies that bear no semblance to anything that makes sense. Are we seeing the manifestation of magic flowing through the crystal of their bodies instead of the organs? That is, the organs are transparent, but, in turn, magic becomes somewhat visible?
10720738
I can't find the word 'known', or the rest of that sentence, making it hard to fix.
10720738
I did tweak some stuff around though.
10720815
Nah, I wasn't referring to a sentence you wrote (sorry for the confusion), I just mean adding something like that to when she calls the two for a Twilight lesson. I should have explained it better.
Final question, does she have other nephews and nieces?
10721430
Pinkie's child, to start.
10721495
Didn't know about that one.
10722514
Didn't know Pinkie had one, or that said child may refer to Twilight, dear friend of her mother, as an aunt?
10722537
That Pinkie had a child. On the other hand, depending on gender, if she has only one other nephew or niece, then her saying "nephews and nieces" is inaccurate, and I can't see Twi doing that.
10722557
That is canon as of the last episode.
10722610
Ah. Okay.
With Harry being in Equestria, are any of the other Mythologicals for Hogwarts, or just riding the Equestrian or Interdimentional version of the Express, away from average discriminatory sight, similar to the Knight Bus?
Hm... I think this is a story where Harry attends Hogwarts as a pony unicorn.
10727008
You would be correct.
Harry's going to Hogwarts and he's bringing a Tsuki with him? Sign me up!
Can this story be read without the knowledge of the prequeals or do you advise against it?
10757174
Yes. The character who is really FROM the other stories is introduced quite nicely in this tale.
10757258
Happy to hear that.
I'm not sure how I missed this story before, but I'm glad to add another HP crossover to my reading list, especially by an author whose stories I read many of already. (A quick check of my bookshelves shows 36 before I add this one. Dang.)
10798191
Yay, a fan! I hope this tale pleases.
Wingaaaadium leviosaaaa.
pot
10810946
A little recreational flower power didn't hurt a wizard!
really i had no idea.
HO boy Arnavon has a wand this is going to be so good or bad, wonder witch it will be?
this is a grate story and a amazing addition to this series.
10843168
Arnavon is a good bunny. But is this a good idea?
10843273
i think this is going to be really fun.
and yes good.
The lesson for sleeping in. Very useful.
grate chapter it sure looks like Arnavon can do magic.
harry your a wizard.
for some reason that jumped in too my mind with this chapter.
this is a grate chapter so much fun in the works.
Arnon is like Hagrid?
Mostly Harmless?
"Loo mas! Lomas. Lowmas!" Arnavon was was swirling his wand the way the book said one
A typo has been eliminated
10978153
What strange magic is this?!
So how will Harry deal with the fact that magical creatures in his former world are not being treated well? Coming from a land where equality is far more the norm it feels like he is just brushing this off by pointing out a loophole.
10985397
Harry hasn't reacted. He hasn't even been told yet.
so Arnavon gets a vary good idea from Hagrid now to get things working.
6/10 above average story.
Neither of these should have an apostrophe.
11027722
Is there a spell that banishes typos?
Are Trolls magically resistant so they cant be lifted, rotated, then bounced up and down a few times if required?
Now waiting to see if Arnavon beleives that movement is magic an he can reflect magic and so can reflect movement, making his fur vibranium?
11027831
Trolls have the magical resistance of just being really heavy. Their clubs, less as much.
a new way of magic?
or is it a hole new magic?
this is a awesome chapter.
Voldy is definitely a lot freeer this time?
guarantee