shallow15
Joined 26th May, 2012 ·
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*snort*, the concept of Flash constantly stressed about preserving his Mother's nonexistent propriety is much funnier than it has a right to be, compounded of course by the fact that Flash can't tell her why he's a nervous wreck because how the hell do you even have that conversation? Can't wait for more.
This was far funnier than I expected it to be. Very nice work playing up the scenes and describing it all. I look forward to more moments for Flash to change his color palette to blue-red.
"That would be more rainbow lasers."
"Always with the rainbow lasers."
And poor Flash. Sometimes it seems like the universe has it out for that boy. Plus, I can't get one idea out of my head...
Flash's mom has got it goin' on.
She's all I want
And I've waited for so long
Sentry, can't you see?
You're just not the one for me
I know it might be wrong but
I'm in love with Flash's mom
"... Really?" said Flash.
Sunset shrugged. "What can I say? The woman's an inspiration in more ways than one."
This got a couple of good chuckles out of me.
Okay that is actually kinda hilarious. I don't read pone fic much anymore, but this got a smile out of me.
I
>>"boxers"
F'naaaaa. That's okay. Not all good stories have to be that kind of a fic.
>>Great mantra. This has a good tone already.
Goddamn if this doesn't have the making of an incest fic. I eagerly await to see how it takes another route. Should be refreshing.
That's a very well-worded explanation. I also like your headcanon for Solemn Sentry. I'm personally tired of angst over jerkly patriarchs in scenarios such as this. As a very good friend of mine once said: "Not all divorces have to be Kramer vs Kramer."
Playful conversation is playful. I like this universe where the parents are aware of the magical bullshiet going on at school--and are seemingly cool with it. Or maybe Flash's mom is just a really cool person in general. I wanna know what the girls think of her.
Oh snap. You're going there.
Oh nice. He's not entirely grumpy around her.
I love how Flash's dialogue is both friendly and casual here, even if it's prompted by Lifeline's dialogue on the other end. It's greaty delivery for the gag.
He's such a good boiiiiiiiiiiiii
Oh, hai, Micro.
I had assumed it was Micro Chips' dog, hence the reason it's called "Entropy." But maybe his sister is a science nerd too. Who knows. inb4 "Micro Chips Incalculably Hot Sister."
This is such a cheesecake pinup situation.
I think we lost a fine opportunity to show off Azure Flame's keen intellect. Like... imagine her and Micro Chips having a spontaneous discussion about astrophysics. It'd be funny if it was *that* which finally set him off the edge.
:laughs out loud: This fic had better get featured.
Awwwww. I like that she cares for him, despite all the cartoonish circumstances unfolding around them.
You've nailed the gag you're going for wonderfully. Fimfic doesn't deserve you.
...please give us moar
-SS&E
10429451
Yeah, that car crash floored me too.
The story is featured! Last time I checked, anyway.
This is a story about how one sexy woman with zero self-awareness destroyed the world by herself.
I, uh, I'm not sure what that means?
This is hilarious.
Hehe, this is better...
10429895 "Don't bluff" "don't say something you're not prepared to back up" among other things.
10430244
I thought she meant she was going to spank him. Is that a local colloquialism?
10430277 It's a fairly common US saying. There's a lot of mangled forms of it, but one of the more famous was from the 1986 movie Top Gun:
—James Tolkan as "Stinger"
Her personality is sweet and wholesome, but her body is anything but. This is great.
10430288
Ahhh. That makes more sense.
Poor Flash.
And poor Twilight as well.
Oh dear. She's now curious about the effect that Azure has on people. I really hope that she doesn't try to pursue this... XD
Azure's definitely taking the whole "two copies of the same girl" thing in stride. Though it is still fairly abstract in her mind. Seeing both next to each other might be a bit unusual... though she could just contextualize them as twins. Really, the whole town has a touch of Sunnydale Syndrome given the increasingly flagrant magical shenanigans.
(sad audience noises)
Um, phrasing? Though I suppose "on" rather than "with" is an important distinction here.
Let's just hope Twilight's analysis of Azure goes better than Sunset's study of magic.
Buh?
Something I really really appreciate about this concept...
Is that Azure Flame never actually flirts with anyone. She's friendly. She's pleasant. She's kind-spirited. But she's not a "tart" or some "sluttish" stereotype. And, on top of that, you went out of your way to make sure she's not a "bimbo" stereotype either. She's intelligent, accomplished, and industrious.
She just happens to be oblivious, far removed from any semblance of stupidity. Is it naive of her? Maybe, but I think her self-assurance and general love of life and for Flash and his familiars eliminates any opportunity to perceive her own observational shortcomings.
This is key... because you're establishing a character who is objectified--yes--but it doesn't particularly feel mean-spirited. It doesn't have a negative connotation. And I really, really appreciate that. You should be proud.
Honestly this right here made Twilight hotter than Azure to me. I hate Moon Landing Hoaxers, Flatearthers and science deniers in general.
Flash really need a girlfriend that could take his mind off his mom unconsciously arousing everyone.
For a hot second I thought they were going to need to send Twilight in for a factory reset. Funnily enou, this incident also involved a shade of blue...
10449956
College Humor
Adam Ruins Everything
Oh heck. This is really really good for so many reasons. Like 10449716 said, the biggest and most amazing single feat you've managed here is that it's not putting Azure into a box where she is being degraded. This is a lovely, somewhat silly story, that goes about the topic of overt and one-sided attraction and objectification in a manner that doesn't leave you feeling bad about in any way.
A+
And just like that I love your depiction of Sunset SHimmer.
Again, best Sunset Shimmer so far. But SciTwi's reaction is funny tool.
I think I really love the humor so far in this story. And then Twilight kisses Sunset XD
Hah! Twi gets nuts over moon landing hoaxers!
...And now she wants to study Azure. This oughta be good.
This is very believable. Flash seems like the kind of guy who would have a really hot mom.
Twilight may be onto something here. There's hot, and then there's impossibly hot.
This just keep escalating.
I feel so bad for Flash. And the bit about fanart was a 10/10 joke.
I sense much therapy in Flash's future...
*Blink*
In before FirstChurchofDivineYogaPants gets mistaken for a cult.
I think I can see why Flash didn't say that was his mom... his house would be inundated with people! XD
The sexual tension in this story is bith funny and aggravating because we know nothing will happen.
Twilight: wait... how did Flash know? It's like he has a six sense.
Plot twist: Flash can also reach the "impossibly hot" state but only if he isn't trying and his unaware.
The best kind of comedy knows how to escalate. This accomplishes such--not just for the fic but in the main body of the chapter as well. It's even more comedic that our protagonist, Flash, struggles harder and harder to distance himself from the madness only to fail at every turn. The phone call brings it to a personal, intimate level and helps everything land so terribly hard on point.
I dig all of the AU versions of internet/communication applications. Twilight's tiny bit was well written and I like that, in all things, Flash comes across as both respectable and sympathetic in how he tries not to render his mother the same objectification as everyone else.
Also, Princess Dream for life. Thank you.
I don't know what to say. How hot is she to create such chaos while being oblivious about it? This needs further research!
Jajajajaja
Canon characters in character, escalation comedy progressing at a perfect pace, and an absolute adherence to the formula that saw the previous chapters as being works of art.
Keep up the great work—loving every line of this.
Oh crap, she knows. Though she may not know about Fidget's terms of service. I knew Flash would stop being supported as of today, but not like this.
Such a tantalizing woman. Maybe she's more self-aware than she lets on...
LMAO
Damn this story is always on the edge of turning NSFW... always good for a laugh. Great chapter, continue like this.
And wow, Fluttershy is really kinky.
Flash: "Whoever wants my mother will have to get through me first!"
Fluttershy: I´m ok with both.
Why do I have the feeling this will end with the appearance of Sunset Shimmer’s inappropriately hot mom?
derpicdn.net/img/view/2015/2/20/833430.gif
Flash is going to blow...
...his top.
Poor Flashy. Doesn't he know that his mother's hotness is like a huge lake behind a dam—trying to plug the gaps with his fingers isn't going to work here, there is too much pressure behind the wall.
If Flash gets back with Sunset (and I hope he does) he may have watch out. His mom might steal her. What a situation.
Huh, points for subversion of expectations. Good show.
That one downvote's from Flash. He knows his mom's being written about!
I just got around to checking this story out, and I have to say, I'm not disappointed.
Everyone seems to have talked about this already, but I LOVE your depiction of Flash's mother in this story. Not only are her interactions with everyone else enjoyable to watch, you've made it clear that's she's also a loving mother who cares greatly for her son and his well-being. It's always nice to see parents depicted this way in stories. And the fact that she's also very easy on the eyes is really just frosting on the cake.
...Aaand that sounded kind of dirty, didn't it? Gotta work on that.