Love is a verb, not a noun.
My name is Hayseed Pear. I’m ten years old and I don’t think I’ll get any older. I’m scared for myself, but I’m more scared for all you in Canterlot. I’m writing this down hoping that someone sees it before it’s too late.
(Based on the Robert Bloch story of the same name.)
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I like this story
I've read the story that this was inspired by, and I say you've gotten pretty close to the original tone and feel. Well done.
Ok, so a horror story about a young colt and creatures being changelings without explain what they are is really good. The explanation of events from the colt's point of view in the journal is interesting, ecspecially with the intensity towards the end when he is scared.
The extra bit just makes it so sad when you realise what it means
This is a damn excellent, and suitably creepy, ponification of the Bloch story. Well done!
10319066
did they already got him, killed him or worse?
This is where you got my upvote. It's so nice, for a change, to see someone believing the kid who's telling the truth. I assume it all ends in tears, or worse, regardless but good for Meinherr Raus.
Also props for spinning TCFOOS so originally. It's got, so far, a comfortable familiarity without just being a straight-across ponification.
11264006
Thank you! It is a feature of the original story which I always appreciated, and helped make me like it enough for the pony treatment.
But please, what is "TCFOOS"?
11264075
Uh, The Colour From Out Of Space, which I sorta thought you were riffing off of. There may have been hints of another of the Great Master's tales too, maybe some Whisperer In The Darkness. But the fact that there are subtil, comfortable, hints rather than an abject retelling is what I liked. I've only dared to set my hoof to imitate Great Master Lovecraft once, and it was apparently a disaster.
11264365
Ah! It's actually a Ponyfication of a Mythos story of the same name, it's here if you ever care to read it.
Love me a ponified Mythos tale, nom nom nom.
You can has review!