Reflections show you what you most want to see, but what you envisioned cannot always be seen.
To reflect is to look at the deepest part of yourself, and to attempt to truly understand it.
When these two things collide it's hard to rely solely on yourself, because when the fragments don't line up, Dinky learns the hard way that putting the pieces back together can take more time then you can handle.
Based on Aero-Replies on Tumblr and other websites.
Cover Art by SenseiDezzy.
Extra Character Tag: Lily Longsocks.
This is a submission for the Pride and Positivity 2020 Event.
Make sure to support these charities if you can.
Chapters (1)
You should add this story to the Pride and Positivity event, because it will raise money for charity!
10295684
Way ahead of you buddy
"Roommate" Uh-huh ;)
Nicely done~
This story was super cute. I hope you keep writing.
I loved it way to go
#Transrights
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Thank you all for the positive reception. When I read though the Aero-Replies blog, the portrayal of Dinky and Lily was really intriguing to me.
I decided to write a story inspired by it, showing how I think Dinky would come to terms with what she feels while making it stand on its own.
Over the course of the day I've been making tiny little adjustments such as grammar checks and adding to sections that feel redundant.
The sheer amount of favourites I've gotten is astounding. I even got onto the Popular section!
Thanks to all of you!
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U r welcome
Dang, this is fantastic! Very, very well done! Your really good with descriptions of everything. It makes the story even more interesting.
10296265
Uncle Funcle says I didn't stunkle.
How Funcle that Uncle says I didn't stunkle even without my glorious puncles.
But seriously thanks for the praise.
10296312
I don’t know what that was, but it was hilarious
Okay, so you asked for criticism in The Writer's Group. Here goes:
There wasn't enough smooches! I wanted more smooches!
That is all.
Seriously, this was a sweet, nice short read. Well done.
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Thanks! While I do agree that there isn't enough smooches, I think it would break the flow of the story if I added a kiss earlier or extended the ending for another one.
Still, glad to see you enjoyed it.
This was really sweet. Great job on your first story! Have you told the Aero-Replies writer about this?
Ok, I don’t really have enough information about such stuff but this one allow me to symphethies with it.
Though here is my criticism...
-the (") was left open in some parts and I wasn't sure when the dialogue was about to end.
_ and this line (somepony who deserves to be die.)
I think it should have been *somepony who deserves to be dead* instead.
Nice first story.
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Not yet but I'll get to that soon enough.
10296832
Thanks for the criticism. Although unless you're talking about something different, when the same character continues talking into another paragraph, you forego the (") on the end of the first paragraph and any others that follow.
Other error is fixed now.
Still thanks for reading!
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Nah, I was mostly just being silly. It really is perfect the way it is.
That being said, if you ever wanted to write more about these two, and said writing involved smooches and cuddles and maybe even dates, I would 100% read it.
While I liked the writing overall, the core of the story feels somewhat weak. Dinky comes off more like a whiny young girl (she's even somewhat self-aware on that) rather than a person who deals with a serious condition.
Erm... Sorry, but even if that's a legit use, it's still doesn't sound right.
Ouch. While it makes the whole 'angsty teen' image authentic, isn't it a little bit too much? Also, Dinky from the comic seemed tougher than that to me.
P.S. Lily was really nice.
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Thanks for the critique!
The first one I already fixed before I read your comment, but yeah that line does seem a bit extreme.
Also in the context of this story, Dinky is a far more vulnerable spot. She hasn't told anyone about her fears and thoughts yet, not even Lily, and holding it in has caused her a lot of stress. Combine that with mind being against her and the things she notices during this particular day, and it's kind of inevitable that this would happen eventually.
I'll tone down a few things though, thanks again for leaving a comment.
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As a heads up, for a trans character, it's proper to address them by the pronouns for their proper gender even during a time before they realized they were trans. Granted, I'm not sure if Dinky still uses female pronouns in Aero-Replies.
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Good to know. I changed the description as it's the only thing in the story to directly refer to Dinky as female.
The reflection shows what he sees not what he is.
Also, in Aero-Replies Dinky asks Aero to refer to him as brother. Although Lily is still the only character who knows he's trans.
Support leftist charities? Sorry, but don't you dare getting political on this site.
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I should note, that I'm not actually doing anything political.
A decent amount of the stories submitted to the Pride and Positivity event have these charities in their descriptions as well.
I'm linking it because a charity is a charity, and no matter what anyone says it still helps people. And you don't have to donate if you don't want to.
Also you can't expect everyone to be right-wing during pride month. The month where the whole point is expressing rights.
Now, after all that, if this was meant to be an ironic comment then I apologize. But if this was serious then please think before you bring politics into something that has no relation to politics.
Cute! Ncce to see a short fic based on it
Those mirrors are a good touch.
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Thanks! Glad to hear they did something for you.
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/213901/my-little-reviews-feedback/thread/440843/reviewing-reflections
I'm sorry that I couldn't score it. My lack of knowledge of the transgender mindset made me feel like I wasn't knowledgeable enough to score it. I hope you can understand and forgive me. It is a good story with solid grammar in my opinion.
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It's alright if you don't feel like scoring it.
I can understand that not everyone can really tap into the mindsets of others easily, especially in more unique cases like this.
I can respect that you sacrificed a crucial part of most reviews due to lack of knowledge. Some people might just role with it and score it anyway, not really understanding the intricate design of every little piece the story has to offer.
Thanks for the review anyhow.
Cheers!
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Also side question, based on how you said to get the opinion of another author, does that mean I should put it up for reveiw again?
It seems like I'd take up time for other, probably better stories to get reviewed, but at the same time, with no disrespect to you, I would like to get a fully fleshed out reveiw.
Just would like clarification.
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I will talk to the group manager about it when he gets up tomorrow. He'll be able to talk to both of us about how to proceed with this. I think there are a couple of stories that have had more than one person review them.
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My group leader said that you are allowed to resubmit your story to a different author and to let him know so you don't get the usual holdback time. I am sorry for the trouble I caused.
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It's all forgiven no worries!
Wow, this is really touching. It's really great being able to read about this type of relationship in a new and uplifting light. I once had a relationship - not completely torn apart because of this - but it had a lot to do with it.
Biologically female and for a long time I really loved her, but she went through some really bad stuff and had body dysmorphia related breakdowns a lot. She didn't want to go by male pronouns like "He" or retain the female pronouns. She felt like she was gender-fluid and wanted to be referred to as "them". The thing is, it was really hard for me, and I like to think of myself as a very open-minded person, but...
English, being my first language (and also being a gendered language) I heavily rely on using the terms, He, She, Him, Her, in normal conversation and swapping them all out for - They/Them - was really hard for me, which upset her every time I messed it up. It ended up just making me feel like shit and a terrible human being. It also made me much more hesitant to speak up when she was around, in fear that I would screw up and make her upset. Obviously, it's not good for a relationship when you feel like garbage every time you're with a S.O.
I'm glad to read something where this type of relationship works out, especially with how damn cute it is. Keep up the good work. Sorry for ranting.
This feels... well, fast. Probably too fast to get a good, deep slice of an enormously complex issue and its many ramifications for a person's life.
It also reads a bit like a cliche idea or stereotypical prototype of the transgender discovery experience, rather than digging into the tailored nuance of an individual's unique narrative.
What's here is alright, but I think it could be made even better by expanding it out and really exploring Dinky first and foremost as his own person encountering being transgender, rather than just being mostly an exercise in, "this is a transgender character, oh and his name is Dinky." You know?
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Well, it was a submission for an event, so that means it likely had to fall under a certain amount of words. And for the length, I'd say it focuses on what it needs to in order to tell a concise story. Obviously the longer you make a story the more space you'll have to developed characters and plot, but that doesn't seem like that was the intention of this.
What a sweet story, I really enjoyed this read. Thank you for sharing this.
Adorable! I really hope you write more of these two. The comic has a lot of inspiration for slice of life fun, and I'd love to see you write these two some more.
hey have a review k thx bye
Hello Emotion Nexus,
Here is my review on your story above.
I hope you have fun writing the story.
Sincerely,
Scoping Landscape
I'm not sure if you've noticed, but someone put this in the f/f shipping group even though it's about a straight romance.
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Thanks for the heads up! I'm not sure why it was in there, but it's been fixed now.
This is a sweet story.
I just have to say this is another story that I really like and I can some what relate to expect it's other way round.