Twilight Sparkle is now old, and the end of her life is fast approaching. Knowing that the end is near, she sends one last friendship report to Celestia. She looks back on the life she had with her friends, and at the memories that she will cherish forever.
Note:This was written before the Season 3 finale, so Twilight is still a unicorn.
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no! no sadness! im still getting over another sad fic, and the remembering fics are the saddest
Compared to the other 'Twilight has a last moment with her mentor/writes one last letter' fics on the site, this one just doesn't measure up. It's dull and lifeless, is mostly consumed in telling Celestia a whole lot of things she almost certainly would already know, and doesn't go anywhere meaningful. Twilight learned she needed a circle of friends? Yeah, she learnt that when she first moved to the town.
Your writing, technically speaking, has nothing particularly wrong with it. But it's got no soul and you're saying nothing of note. Go back and think really, really hard about what you're actually trying to say with this fic. Remember, this idea isn't original, so if you want to write something worth reading you're going to have to really throw a twist on the message you're conveying AND wow folks with how you express yourself.
Good luck, but you've got a long way to go.
Down vote for sad fic.
'Sides, first thing every competent magic user does is research age-extension magic. There is reason that thematically wizards live for centuries.
1153557 Oy! I take offense to that! Especially since I specialize in sad fics.
Not bad, nothing special, but not bad.
The voting system is for the masses to express there approval is disapproval on a fic. I do not like sad-fics (especially bland ones such as this) and thus I express my opinion by down on it. Even if I was neutral towards the genre (or indeed positive about it) I would still down vote it based on quality alone.
Really its a shame I cannot down vote a fic more then once, otherwise I would to knock it for both the issues I have it with.
1153815
Honestly announcing a down vote because of it not being your choice of genre is just douchebagery. You rate it based on the type of fic, not because the person writing it. It is like saying that Harry Potter as a whole is a terrible series because you don't like wizards. If you think the quality is bad, give it some constructive criticism instead of saying. I DON'T LIKE SAD FICS. DOWN VOTE.
How do you spend your day? Scrolling through sad fics and down voting them?
1.) Harry Potter IS a terrible series, it being about wizards has nothing to do with it. Though if you want an actually good Urban Fantasy series to read I reccomend the Dresden Files.
2.) Giving constructive critism is too much work.
3.) No that is not how I spend my day. Though now that you mention it, it seems like a decent way to spend an hour when I am bored and have nothing better to do
Thanks for the suggestion.
Besides what somepony else already said, that Celestia would already know all of this and therefore this letter seems pretty useless, and that the lesson learned is the exact same lesson from episode one, there were a few very distracting technical elements. Such as, why is Twilight dying in the first place when Rarity is just having kids? She can be more than 40 and it's not exactl an unatural death if she knows about it beforehand and writes a letter. Second, Applejack marry Pipsqueek? Idk who you're thinking of but when I hear pip-squeak I think "Pipsqueek the Pirate, at your service." from the nightmare nigh episode. He's obviously too young for applejack.
1154259
To clear up some misconceptions you had:
-Apple Bloom was the one that married Pipsqueak, not Applejack.
-Rarity's kids are all grown at this point, and it's her daughter that's pregnant.
-Twilight knows that it'll come soon, and she wants to write the letter while she has the timne and strength to do so. Also, since Spike isn't around anymore, she has to send it through the normal mail system.
1155021
Oh, sorry about that. I read this at 3AM so I was pretty tired. Still some of that might need a little further clarification, usually I wouldn't miss that kind of thing. I think this could be really good if you focus more on the lesson and the emotions going through Twilight's head and less on the trivial catch up talk. You might want to think about that and make some edits.
This is sad in a good way