- Member Since 5th Oct, 2016
- offline last seen 6 hours ago
Israel Yabuki
Canon x OC, that's my specialty, both in art and in MLP stories
Israel Yabuki
Joined 5th Oct, 2016 ·
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Can't wait for the next chapter
Off to a pretty good start, though I do have a few criticisms.
1. In the beginning, you describe some of Rarity's actions in the present tense instead of past. Might wanna fix that.
2. I think it might be a bit more organic if Orange and Rarity met at the reception as opposed to just after the wedding itself.
Other than that, I enjoyed what I read and I'm looking forward to more.
10483924
True, you make a good point. I was trying to find ways to improvise, but I was drawing a blank, so I just went what was popping out of my head due to writer's block, but I'm glad you liked it.
I'll try to do better in the next chapter.
awesome chapter my friend i wish all your stories have kingdom hearts soundtracks in them there are hearts all around us you only have to see them to become real sora keep up the great work my friend cant wait for the next chapter
It's going to personally annoy me all night that I never knew you were planning to mention the other girls couples because I could have told you my ships for them aw well what's done is done and hey at least one of five isn't bad lol
10483976
sorry about that
10483981
No worries
Well that sucks that most of em won't be able to have kids of their own
10484019
I think you're forgetting one thing: 3 of them are highly-skilled in magic, so they can conjure up spells that can help some of their friends have children, but I won't say which spell.
Mostly because it's a fetish that... kinda disturbs me, no disrespect though
Well this is a little strange?
This story just reminded me of a story that is vary similar to this story.
But I forgot the title.
nice work.
10484028
Ah I forgot, no disrespect at all
memegenerator.net/img/instances/55191345/sir-you-had-my-curiosity-but-now-you-have-my-attention.jpg
Awesome start, please continue
Great chapter!
This was very nice. Good to see something new from you. Bet it will be even nicer later.
a great chapter for a mare who so in need of love in this romance story.
Good work and brony on
Another who uses music to show what mood you're going for? Nice.
10546493
It's one of my specialties
awesome chapter mate keep it up cant wait for the next chapter and good luck in your walk-in life
nice work
Thanks for this!
…and then they bang!
Glad to hear of you again dude, you really know how to build up romance.
10860463
I had some help from my friend SonicBlitz18
10860587
Jeje yeah he is pretty good with those, that is why I'm asking his help with a story like this one. Autors like you have inspire me to try my hand at erotica like this.
Sure there is love making but there is also passion, love and build up and that always makes things a lot more intense and beatiful
10860867
hehe, glad we inspired you. I'm sure you'll do well with your stories
10861203
Nah this is my first attempt at an erotica so I probably will be a messy job, but hey at some point I might come to you for some tips with a chapter or two
good work buddy
10865676
thank you
awesome story mate keep it up cant wait for more stories from you
And so it ends, great story!
nice work
the happiest ending of the story, great work and as always brony on