- Member Since 5th Oct, 2016
- offline last seen 1 hour ago
Israel Yabuki
Canon x OC, that's my specialty, both in art and in MLP stories
Israel Yabuki
Joined 5th Oct, 2016 ·
Offline
Sequels1
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Israel Yabuki · 14k words · 245 18 · 14k views
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So.. fast.. wait.. I can't catch up, slow down pacing!
?
Will the baby be just a toe?
8099569
That was actually what I was thinking.
Maybe a finger or a kidney or something.
8099801 Awww, look at that, the baby has my renal cortex.
I have an idea title for a next story with Rarity
The gem of my heart
Ok...it's not the worst one shot I've ever read, can't say it's a good one though.
I know others have already pointed it out, but you need to work on your pacing. This could have been great, you just need to learn to slow things down a bit. Flesh out the relationship between the characters and don't just have a bond suddenly form between them.
Spelling seems ok, can't say anything for the grammar since I suck at spotting mistakes for that.
Again, slow things down, there's no rush with anything, just take your time with stuff and make sure the pacing is at the very least decent. It's very hard to read and a lot of the time I'm left scratching my head trying to figure out what's happening.
8099947 Good idea.
Um ... what? How can an impregnation be slight? It's either there or not.
I'm sure Applejack doesn't say 'partner' so much.
8104720 I guess I should've added "Sugarcube."
8104869 Mixed it up a bit, sure. Overall though the characterisation was good, just a teeny bit quick, but others have said that.
Fun fact, spraying yourself with water doesn't provide any thermal protection from a fire. There's also a good chance of getting steam burns, and end up cooked like a lobster.
8107404 It was suppose to delay the fire from burning him alive, but hey, can't blame a guy for trying.
8099947 I'm sure you've realized that The Gem of My Heart is ready for you to read.
Can you do Fluttershy next after Rarity
8130232 Alright, then after that, I'll work on Rainbow Dash next
Yay
You get hit by a car while saving a kid you get 2 choices one go to equestria or be come a spirit detective. This guy chose the getting laid path
8346291
you recognized the Yu Yu Hakusho reference, huh? Good eye
Definate step up from the previous one, nice job.
8369321
Anything to please my readers
I am the 100th like! Muahahahahaha!!
8446246
Hey, I know you, you're the writer who made those "Equestria Girls Reunited" clopfics. I loved how you put so much detail into them
8446471Why thank you! Love your series! (Hands out a six pack) Have a drink!
Uh AJ you realize I'm not interested on you.
Lovennit
The type of cuteness that can qualify as weapons-grade...
And something that made me laugh out loud!
How does the sister 8 years and dies at 6 years old that doesn’t make any sense
Wait nvm I read it wrong my bad
9083768
it's alright
So beautiful I love it so much.
9089365
It's all thanks to NineTailBeastBall for helping me out. You should check out his story, it's really good
9089408
Will do. Also I read your stories on Wattapad from Carlo and I loved them.
Oh sweet, the rewrite is finally done. Funny really. I was just wondering this morning when you'd update anything.
Great ending can’t wait my beloved Rarity’s story to be remastered
Another fantastic ending my friend.
9117049
Thank you very much. And you should check out NineTailBeastBall's fimfiction, too. He helped me out with the story big time
9118602
Will do
Applejack has always been my favorite
9141235
I'm glad to hear it
It's tricky to see how the oc's family has fell apart ever since his little sister die, that's messed up
AppleJack do know how to deal with strangers/thieves even she doesn't know his curious intention, one thing I know is that if it wasn't for AppleBloom, it'll go down the bad way. At lease they make up for that.
for what i can see is that he is taking in pretty well
AppleJack is Known to be honest and very hard working pony in ponyville. Of course when I read their conversation, it is clear that no matter how hard they work, the apple family value more than anything they have reap as well as their big family across Equestria. That, I can respect that in honesty.
a happy ending for those two, not only Bucky earn the love from AppleJack, he earn a new loven family.
Nice work you two👍
Boy life is cruel for this poor guy.
9710319
And Bucky will have AJ as his wife with his child.
Damn, that's sounds like a good breakfast....
I wish my family loved me that much...
i.imgflip.com/5vegf.jpg
Lol
Punzzz fer dayzzz
10447015
Ouch. Hate to be them.
You can still tell that Applejack’s really sympathizing you, but then you see the tears flowing out of her eyes.
Me:Doesn't AppleJack cry on the inside?
10637417
She came out of her shell