• Member Since 17th Jun, 2017
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The Red Parade


Cars are still parked outside. If the rapture had happened, why was it unrecognizable? Why was the sky blue? Why did no one tell me? Do these things not announce themselves?

E

The room is white.

The ocean outside is blue.

Everything is okay.


An entry in a Sofa and Quills Speedwriting Panic Fiction round, where it placed first!

The theme was 'I know you're lying, but...'. Written in the span of half an hour.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 26 )

I do believe her, though I know she lies...

This is a good story.
:)

10185255
Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it!

Are you just nabbing all the first places now?

10185350
I don't know lol, people apparently like it enough to vote it in first place. There are so many great entries though, it stuns me I've gotten this many wins so far!

10185361
Well, keep up the good work!

10185360
I had to go watch something funny.

10185499
Ah. Sorry to hear that then!

10185519
Why? I enjoyed it! Both of it. It of them. Them of both. Both deez nuts..... sorry

10185546
Ah ok, happy to hear that!

DANG IT, MY HEART *keels over, ded*

10186130
Haha, glad to hear you enjoyed it!

I love this story! I'm pretty sure I get what's going on, but a little explanation to make sure I understand the story would be nice :).

10186897
Thank you, glad you enjoyed it!


well, honestly I wrote this during a speed write, so most of the stuff was just conceptualized in the fly. The premise is that Soarin is at a hospital after getting blinded during a Weather Factory accident. He’s told that he’s at his hometown hospital to recover (by the oceanfront) and hears the waves outside...

But he quickly recognizes the waves are just a recording. He isn’t at his hometown hospital because he’s going to die. He quickly figures this out during his conversation with Spitfire but asks her to keep lying anyways.

10186928
Ahh, this makes a lot of sense now that I finished the story. I really like this story :)

10186928
Oh, my interpretation was much simpler! Thank you for the explanation, it gave the story even more depth. I'm going to re-read it now with this in mind.

10187555
I see, thanks for reading!

So this story was an interesting one, a story that towards the end turned from interesting to outright impressive. At first, I interpreted him to be covered in bandages, unable to move from where he was sat. That him seeing white was simply him looking within a cast. However, your comments above glean that he was blinded. I particularly loved the line of "The room growing ten times larger". It provided the auditory sensation that Spitfire put distance between him and herself. It was beautiful.

The reveal that she's lying turned this story on its head. To the extent that she's lying is unknown to Soarin, but it really doesn't matter. Were ponies killed? Did everyone turn out ok if they weren't killed? Is Soarin going to be ok? All of them don't matter. The ocean tape was a perfect metaphor for Soarin. The tape was contained, replaying the same tune every hour. Soarin was contained in a room, hearing the same words and reassurance from both Spitfire and the doctors. And when Soarin stops, so does the tape.

I loved this!

10213436
Yeah, you hit it on the head! Glad you enjoyed!

Short, simple, and oh so good

10298208

Thanks glad you liked it! :)

Your story has been reviewed here!

Howdy, hi!

Ooooh, really liked this one. Super subtle and I love how you broke the formatting to really hammer in this neat vibe. I like the characterization you do here, and the dialogue is just peak.

Excellent, read, thank you~!

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