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Eventide, a loyal and dedicated member of the night guard, is discovered in a bizarre magical coma. Princess Luna uses her magic to enter his unconscious mind in order to find out what happened and rescue the stallion from his unnatural slumber. Once inside, she finds herself in a surreal homestead where she has been cast as Eventide's wife.
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Aaaw cute!
Yay
Very cute Luna story.
What a nice story, made me feel all warm. A+ ;3
I like this -- it's very true to Luna's character: austere at times, but basically caring. This actually leans more towards Drama than Romance, and that's a good thing. Eventide's attraction to Luna is reasonable and well-supported. Nicely done!
10141176
Thank you. I can write characters a little differently depending on what I'm doing, but Luna has always been very clear in my head as to how she conducts herself and I tend to always write her the same way regardless of what type of story she is in.
10141155
Glad it hit the mark.
Oh my god, i'm so glad to finally read one of these, Luna and a royal guard. Excelllent job! 👏👏
Congrats on the feature!
10141380
Thanks. Always a good feeling.
10141239
Yeah, I usually don't see one of these that isn't just clop. Figured the E category could use an entry.
That was a lovely story. Tell Eventide I wish him the best.
d'awwww.
This comes across as unintentionally creepy. It's one thing to know you have an admirer or are a muse to someone, but this takes that general concept in a way that feels much less affectionate despite your direction. Being cast as someone's spouse in this forced kind of way is loads of uncomfortable and is very much in the vein of pseudo-1950s plastic smiles type of horror stuff.
I'm certainly not going to downvote it, but I don't really have an upvote I can give it either.
I liked this. Luna was especially well written here. Definitely going to add this to my Luna folder.
That being said...I do kind of agree with 10142240, even if not quite to the same degree. Perhaps Eventide's fantasy rendering Luna as his wife was pushing it just a bit. Maybe if they were simply dating in his dream or something like that it would have been a bit better.
10142240
10142314
Yeeeeeeah, I kinda have to agree as well, this comes across as more creepy than cute on Even's part. He seems waayyyyy too possessive for my tastes.
10142240
10142314
Dreams are always warped and Eventide's is no different; the creepy factor is intentional as I wanted this to really play into the basic idea of Luna being stuck in a sitcom episode. Eventide is dreaming an ideal where he isn't a guard and she isn't a Princess, they are just a loving couple leading a normal life; he dreams this because he feels that the biggest hurdle he faces to being true to this feelings in the real world is the difference in their status which he relates when he tells her that he is "just a guard". As much as he commits to this ideal though, it is clear on some level he knows he is pretending which is why the world is set up the way it is, like a play. Luna notices how the rooms are set up, their actions are judged by a phantom audience and the blinding light she sees and starts coming through the walls are representative of the stage lights; which all fall apart when he admits to Luna and himself that this just isn't real. Anyway, I can see where it can be construed as a creepy stalker dream but it honestly isn't; Eventide's dream is one formed from a long standing love and attraction that he feels he is unable to express in reality.
10142390
But the problem is that they aren't really a 'loving wife and husband' in this. They're the cutout of one. Instead of coming across as having natural/normal unrequited attraction to Luna, he only feels safe envisioning her in a role that traps her into a rigid archetype completely unlike her authentic self. This isn't to say that Luna couldn't be a loving wife and have goals that align with being a homemaker, it's that this dude only feels safe envisioning her trapped in a depowered, submissive role where she's completely devoted to him. It's the kind of housewife she is that really contributes to that feeling because it neglects Luna's identity and wants. The relationship, even in fantasy, is one-sided.
10142390
10142395 makes a good point here. I mean, from the title I assume you were trying to parody to parody the 50's-style thing from the get-go, but it probably wasn't the best thing in the world to do in the end.
10142415
My guess is that the title is trying to do a callback to I Love Lucy, even though that show often tried to subvert the whole thing about the housewife just being a smile with legs that could cook. Lucy's character is very plucky and funny and has big dreams. So, it ended up being a character-focused show. Eventide's idea of Luna diminishes her instead of focusing on who she is.
10142395
That is, in essence, the point. They are cut-outs, even Eventide; he has them playing roles on a stage in an unrealistic setting that represents an exaggerated type of happiness. The world comes undone when he admits all that to himself, he also gladly sacrifices it when he realizes that Luna is in danger from being trapped in there with him. I suppose the point I'm trying to make is that it is messed up and although he loves the fantasy he acknowledges how messed up it is which is what frees them. Once he's awake he knows how awful he must look to her and can't even look at her; but Luna can sense that it wasn't coming from a bad place so instead of punishing him she decides to give him a honest chance to express himself in reality.
10142429
The thing is, the only character this appears happy to is Eventide, and if this is his idea of 'happiness' (quotes around that for a reason) then it's really messed up in a way that the story, tags, and such don't touch on really well. It's the idea of a relationship that people generally need therapy or something for because wanting your partner to be that is pretty degrading in this context. Eventide comes across as having some kind of weird neckbeard-ish outlook issues.
10142438
Whilst I don't deny that Eventide's fantasy is problematic, I would argue that he realises that it's messed up. Notice that he is hesitant to speak to Luna at first at the end of the story, suggesting he is aware of how he came across in the dream as a creep.
That was moving. Characterizations felt spot on. It looks like this is the start of a beautiful friendship. I’m glad. Good stuff as always.
10256803
Thanks. This idea went through a lot of evolution before becoming what it is and I was happy with how it ultimately turned out. Glad you liked it.
This is pretty good, dude! I had some “dark thoughts” when I came across this story, but when I read it, my expectations were thankfully unfounded (mostly).
As a Christian, this story reminded me of what St. Paul the Apostle said about a husband’s role in his books of Ephesians and Colossians. Basically, the husband shouldn’t rule his household with an iron fist but with love, respect, kindness, and responsibility, especially toward his wife.
All-in-all, fantastic story!
May God bless you and those you hold dear!
-Davidtin, a Christian reader of your story
11717639
Thank you very much, I'm glad you enjoyed the story and were able to relate something to it. This story got a pretty broad range of reaction which was interesting; just shows that every reading experience is an individual one and the same story can have multiple meanings depending on the viewpoint. I always liked this story because I wanted to give Luna some spotlight that I feel the show kind of shied away from.