Dark and decrepit… two words that best described the halls of the Dragon’s Keep. The entirety of the interior was in complete ruin. Hence why the entire group felt an extreme case of hesitancy. One misstep could mean the difference between life and death, especially in a place such as this. The majority of the group warily walked with caution, while Donkey was downright terrified. With only the occasional torch lighting the way in the darkness, they could see that all the passages were littered with bones, armor, and weapons. If they were to guess, these were presumably the remains of many unsuccessful knights who tried to rescue the princess… and failed.
“Why is it that many of our adventures have us investigating some dark castle or some spooky land?” Spike whispered.
“Come on dude, we haven’t done that much,” Rainbow whispered back.
It was then Pinkie Pie bounced right up alongside them.
“Actually, Spike has a point,” Pinkie agreed. “There was the Castle of the Two Sisters, the Spooky Island Castle, the Phantom’s Lair, the Land of the Dead…”
“Okay Pinkie, we get it!” Rainbow replied, rolling her eyes.
“Will y’all keep yer voices down?!” Applejack scolded quietly. “We don’t need tah make it no easier fer that there Dragon tah find us.”
“Why can’t Spike just talk to the dragon?” Pinkie whispered, with a smile. “Maybe if he asks nicely, the dragon will release the princess and we won’t have to fight.”
“First of all, we’re not in Equestria,” Spike pointed out. “This is a whole other universe, and I doubt this dragon will understand me. Second, you think if I could convince a full grown dragon to do anything Garble would still be doing beat poetry?”
“I thought you liked his poetry.”
“Yeah… when he’s not doing it for six hours straight!”
“Um guys, not that I’m all that curious, but…” Fluttershy whispered timidly. “How would we even know the dragon is close?”
“Well… I do recall this one trick Smolder taught me while visiting the Dragon Lands,” Spike recalled. “It gets her brother every time. Now let me see if I remember it…”
Spike proceeded to massage his claws together and took a deep breath, while the others watched anxiously. Then, after an exhale, he opened his eyes and positioned his claws over his mouth…
“If you’re a dragon and you know it, clap your claws!!!”
Spike quickly raised a single claw, a gesture for every pony to be quiet as Spike waited. The air was deathly still, not another sound was heard. The group dared not move, their eyes darting about praying the dragon doesn’t respond. But not a single response was heard.
“Oh good…” Spike sighed with relief. “I would’ve wet myself if that actually worked…”
The group shook their heads and rolled their eyes as they pressed on, keeping a sharp eye out for a sheer sign of a dragon.
“So… our quest is to rescue a princess locked up in a tower?” Raven pointed out. “Doesn’t sound so hard.”
“We don’t know what dangers lie ahead of us, Raven,” Apple said cautiously. “We must be very careful.”
“Well, I’m ready for any danger waiting for us!” Pinkie spoke excitedly, posing dramatically. “Wherever there’s danger, there are brave knights battling all sorts of evil. Dragons, monsters, werewolves, mummies, and especially… ogres!”
Shrek stopped walking and slowly turned toward Pinkie Pie, angrily.
“Pinkie, I’m the ogre around here, remember?” He asked irritated.
“Oh yeah… I kind of forgot.”
Shrek groaned, shaking his head as he kept walking along the floor.
“Shrek’s always being himself,” Spike crossed his arms.
“Never mind that now,” Twilight brushed it off. “We must save the princess. Then once we bring her back to the castle, we must stop Tirek before he causes any more trouble.”
Hearing the pony princess mention the name, Donkey turned toward her curiously.
“Uh, I hope you don’t mind if I ask you something, but… who’s Tirek?” Donkey asked.
“Trust me Donkey, you don’t wanna know,” Rainbow responded, flying beside him.
“Why not?”
“Take our word, Donkey darling, he’s nothing but a big angry red centaur who drained all our magic back in Equestria when we first encountered him,” She explained shuddering. “I’ll never forget that day.”
“Me neither,” Fluttershy replied softly. “Seems like only yesterday when Tirek tricked Discord into working for him.”
“That Tirek doesn’t sound very nice at all,” Donkey spoke.
Shrek again stopped walking so he could turn back toward the Mane Six, Spike, and Donkey. Based on the way he eyed the group; he couldn’t believe a word they said.
“Centaurs aren’t real,” Shrek spoke skeptically. “They only appear in myths.”
“Oh Tirek ain’t no myth, Shrek,” Applejack spoke seriously. “He’s real and believe me, we dealt with him plenty before back in Equestria.”
“And he did way more than just draining magic,” Spike added. “One time, Tirek teamed with Chrysalis and Cozy Glow to make all the pony races turn against each other so they could take over our land. And for a moment… it nearly worked.”
“Once you encounter Tirek, you’ll see for yourself,” Rainbow nodded. “There’s no redeeming quality in that big jerk; he’s nothing but a monster.”
“Say no more, everypony,” Twilight interrupted. “We’ve got a princess to save.”
She proceeded to walk ahead while the rest of the Mane Six, including Spike, Apple, Raven, and Donkey followed behind. Shrek merely shook his head, still refusing to believe a word they said.
“Little ponies…” Shrek groaned in annoyance.
He then continued walking to follow the Mane Six, Spike and Donkey. As they pressed on, Donkey slowly grew more afraid the deeper into the keep they went.
“You afraid?” Donkey whispered to Shrek.
“No…” Shrek replied.
“But…”
“SHHHHHH!” Shrek hushed loudly.
“Oh good, me neither.”
When Donkey realized that the rest of the group started to get a bit ahead of him, he gasped in fear and quickly raced to catch up. He walked alongside Fluttershy, who much like him showed fear in her face.
“I know I stood up to a dragon back in Equestria, so you’d think I’d be more brave,” Fluttershy whispered fearfully. “But who knows how scary a full grown dragon is here?”
“I hear ya Fluttershy,” Donkey agreed. “Cause there’s nothin’ wrong with bein’ afraid. Fear’s a sensible response to an unfamiliar situation. Unfamiliar dangerous situation, I might ad. With a dragon that breathes fire and eats knights and breathes fire. It sure doesn’t mean you’re a coward if you’re a little scared. I sure as heck ain’t no coward. I know that.”
Donkey suddenly crashed into a pile of knight remains, knocking over a skeleton whose helmet landed on Donkey’s head. Donkey and Fluttershy watched as the skeleton head fell off, and they gasped in fear. The sudden noise made everyone else, minus Shrek, jump back a tad.
“Sweet Celestia darling, are you trying to give us all heart attacks?” Rarity whispered angrily.
“Donkey, two things, okay?” Shrek spoke agitated. “Shut… Up.”
“Sorry…” Fluttershy whimpered.
“Oh hey, this’ll come in handy,” Rainbow replied, taking a helmet off the ground. “Hope it’s fire-proof.”
“Sure, the helmet is,” Applejack remarked. “Can’t say the same about its previous owner.”
“Alright, now go over there and see if you can find any stairs,” Shrek instructed Donkey, grabbing the helmet on his head. “I’ll be back in a bit.”
“Stairs?” Donkey questioned. “I thought we was lookin’ for the princess.”
“The princess will be up the stairs in the highest room in the tallest tower,” Shrek responded, collecting and putting on pieces of armor.
“Actually Donkey, Shrek does have a fairy valid point,” Apple spoke up. “In every fairytale in our homeland, princesses are usually kept in high towers.”
“That’s right,” Raven nodded. “So we need to get to the highest level possible and the only way is by climbing the stairs.”
“What makes you think she’ll be there?” Donkey retorted.
“I read it in a book once,” Shrek concluded.
Shrek placed the rest of the armor on himself and positioned the face guard of the helmet. He then turned toward the ponies and the two princesses.
“So… who’s going with Donkey or sticking with me?” He asked them.
“Are you nuts?!” Rarity gasped in horror. “Have you ever lived through a horror movie? Never split up in a creepy old castle!”
Just as Twilight was about to respond, she noticed something from the corner of her eye. Two individuals, a Lannister Knight and a Black Knight, moving toward what appeared to be the dungeons. She remembered the knights back when Tirek lead them to Ponyville, to distract the heroes while he traveled to this world. One thing was certain: If the knights were around, Tirek was close by.
“Actually… I think we should investigate this way,” Twilight pointed.
“Why?” Shrek questioned.
“Yeah… why?” Spike agreed.
“I just feel we can cover more ground this way,” Twilight responded. “There’s plenty of castle to look through and we can’t be too sure what’s waiting for us. If we all split up, we’ll be able to accomplish more.”
Applejack narrowed her eyes toward her friend, already having a feeling she was lying. Nevertheless, since it was coming from Twilight, there was a reason behind it. Shrek, meanwhile, just shrugged it off.
“Whatever,” He shrugged. “I’ll go this way, you all go that way, and Donkey can go looking for the stairs.”
“Wait?! You mean by myself?!” Donkey cringed.
“Unless you’d rather come slay the dragon and rescue the princess?”
“Uhhh… no, I’m cool,” Donkey nodded. “You handle the dragon; I’ll handle the stairs. Stairs is fine. I’ll find those stairs. I’ll whip their butt too. Those stairs won’t know which way they’re goin’.”
“Just don’t get into any trouble!” Rainbow called out.
“What kind of trouble can I get into?” Donkey scoffed. “I’m just lookin’ for stairs. Have a little faith.”
With that said, Donkey walked off in the other direction while Shrek made his way further into the keep. Meanwhile, Twilight quickly made her way toward the direction the knights had gone while all her friends, including Raven and Apple, quickly ran to catch up to her.
“What’s goin’ on Twi?” Applejack asked. “What’s got us headin’ this way fer?”
“I saw two knights heading in this direction,” Twilight responded. “My guess is if we follow them, they’ll lead us to Tirek.”
“Wait a minute, you saw knights?” Raven questioned. “What kind?”
“The same ones Tirek used as a distraction back in our world just to come here,” Twilight responded. “One was wearing dark leather-like armor and the other wore red-and-gold armor.”
This stopped Apple and Raven in their tracks as they skidded to a stop, causing every pony else to stop as well.
“Did you say… red-and-gold armor?” Raven asked.
“Yeah, why?” Twilight raised her brow.
“Because that’s the armor the people who attacked our home were wearing!” Apple responded.
“How is that even possible?” Raven asked. “We don’t even know a thing about these knights we’re chasing and we’ve all had altercations with them.”
“Can we figure that out after we catch up with them?” Rainbow asked urgently. “I’ve been itching to beat the Tartarus out of Tirek all day!”
Everyone looked amongst themselves for a moment or two, then quickly proceeded in an effort to catch up with the knights. Whatever questions they had about the entire scenario, all of it had to wait for now. Finding Tirek… that was their priority.
<>
Meanwhile, Donkey kept talking to himself as he pushed his way through a giant set of doors in his ongoing search for stairs.
“I’m gonna take drastic steps,” Donkey spoke to himself. “Kick it to the curb. Don’t mess with me. I’m the stair master. I’ve mastered the stairs. I wish I had a step right here. I’d step all over it.”
Little did Donkey know, behind a broken wall, a giant eye opened and spotted the unsuspecting intruder.
<>
Up in the tower, much like every day, Princess Fiona was in the midst of singing her song of hope, though this time with a tambourine…
Fiona (Sings):
I know it’s today… oo-oo-oo-oo…
I know it’s today… oo-oo-oo-oo…
I know it’s today… oo-oo-oo-oo…
“Helloooo!! Anyone up there?!”
Fiona stopped mid-song, her tambourine falling out of her hand. Slowly, she turned around toward the window, took a peek outside… and her eyes widened with shock. She could feel a panic building up as thoughts raced in her head. ‘Is this really it? After all these years?’ she thought. Without a moment’s pause, she raced around her room trying to straighten everything before her savior arrived.
“Shouldn’t you toss down some hair or something?” The voice shouted.
<>
Elsewhere, Shrek was exploring the grounds when he spotted the light in the window of a tower.
“Well, at least we know where the princess is,” Shrek told himself. “But where’s the…”
<>
“DRAGON!!!”
Donkey’s scream echoed as he took off running, narrowly dodging the fiery breath… of the dragon! The beast pursued Donkey, stomping along a pile of knight remains in its way. Shrek turned around just as Donkey barreled toward him, the dragon close behind. With the target in sight, the beast took a deep breath and fired a stream of flame toward them.
“Donkey, look out!” Shrek shouted.
Shrek managed to push Donkey out of the way, barely dodging the Dragon’s fireball. Donkey dropped to the floor to avoid another blast, which managed to singed the tuft of his tail. The dragon toward over the whimpering Donkey, ready to feast upon his flesh… when it felt something grab its tail. The beast turned around just as Shrek grabbed hold of it.
“Got ya!” Shrek called out.
With the dragon distracted, Donkey raced away to safety. In the meantime, the dragon swung its tail back and forth while Shrek tried to hang on. Finally, after one swing, the dragon launched the ogre into the air. He screamed in midair, flying overhead until he crashed through the roof of the tallest tower and into Fiona’s room, where the princess laid in her bed and looked at his unconscious form.
With one threat disposed of, the Dragon focused its attention on Donkey. It breathed fire toward him, forcing him out of hiding and onto a stone bridge. The dragon proceeded to knock down various portions of the bridge until Donkey was left with only one lone pillar to stand on. Trapped, defenseless, and scared beyond words, Donkey could only stand still and look up as the Dragon towered over the tiny mule and growled as he desperately tried to find a way out of this mess.
“No. Oh, no, No!” Donkey whimpered shakily.
The dragon roared, ready to consume Donkey in a single gulp.
“Wait a minute!”
The dragon paused, looking at him inquisitively. It was then Donkey realized that if he was to avoid being the key ingredient of ‘Donkey Pot Pie’, he was going to flatter his way out. He proceeded to nervously tap his hooves on the pillar, as ukelele music could be heard in the background.
Donkey (Sings):
My, what big teeth you have
They’re so sparkling white.
I bet you hear this from all of your food,
But you must bleach at night.
Is that a hint of minty freshness?
Oh, I am scared to death.
I like a dragon with a dazzlin’ smile,
And Tic-Tac on your breath.
Oh, whoa, whoa,
Don’t kill me.. Dragon with the pretty teeth?
For a moment the Dragon seemed to smile, perhaps appeared flattered by the Donkey’s compliments. Course, by this point, Donkey was starting to run out of lyrics.
“And you know what else? You know what else?” Donkey spoke quickly. “You’re—you’re—”
All of a sudden, the dragon leaned forward and gazed at Donkey, revealing its long eyelashes, lipstick on its mouth, and a lighter pink shade of scales. Suddenly it was all clear to Donkey.
“—a girl dragon!” Donkey realized. “Oh, sure! I mean, of course you’re a girl dragon. You’re just reeking of feminine beauty.”
The dragon fluttered her eyes at him, touched by the little creature’s sweet words. Only Donkey hadn’t entirely put it together.
“What’s the matter with you?” Donkey asked curiously. “You got something in your eye?”
Dragon blew a heart-shaped smoke ring toward Donkey, who coughed a bit as it dawned on him.
“Ohh… oh… oh… man, I’d really love to stay, but you know, I’m, uh… I’m an asthmatic, and I don’t know if it’d work out if you’re gonna blow smoke rings and stuff. SHREK!!!”
Dragon picked him up by the tail in her mouth and happily carried him off. It was on this day that Dragon knew exactly how she was going to spend her day. After many lonely years guarding the princess and extinguishing every intrusive knight that stepped onto her turf, at long last she found someone to love… take hold of… velvet glove him…
Velvet glove him…?
Finally, this Dragon would sweep this little Donkey up into the sky, to keep for her very own. To squeeze him, tease him, please him, and have herself a big ol’ honkin’ sloppy, gloppy cherry on the toppy piece of donkey pot pie.
“No! Shrek!” Donkey cried out. “Twilight! Spike! ANYONE!!!”
<>
While this went on, the Equestrians, along with Apple and Raven, followed the Black Knight and the Lannister Knight deep down the depths of the dungeons. Like the rest of the castle, the walls and ceiling were crumbling in disarray making it rather difficult to navigate. However, they were determined to catch up with the knights, the pair seemingly unaware they were followed. The whole time, they’d been conversing amongst themselves.
“I don’t understand why we need them,” The Black Knight spoke confused. “We should slit their throats and be done with them.”
“You want to be the one to tell the Queens you disregarded their orders?” The Lannister Knight asked. “We’re to keep them alive so long as the Queens deem necessary.”
“Well, I still don’t like it—”
Eventually, the two knights came to a halt upon a large stone wall with a single torch protruding from the wall. The girls and Spike hid themselves as they watched one knight pull down on the torch and a large section of the wall slid away revealing a secret passage. The two knights walked through as the passageway quickly sealed behind them.
When the coast was clear, the Equestrians and two princesses quickly raced over to the wall.
“Where do you think that passage leads to?” Fluttershy asked nervously.
“With our luck… trouble,” Spike answered.
“Let’s not keep it waiting,” Rainbow said determined.
She floated up and was about to pull down the torch when Applejack yanked her back to the ground by her tail.
“Hold up there, hun,” Applejack interrupted. “We can’t go burstin’ in there without a plan.”
“Applejack’s right,” Rarity agreed. “Who knows how many knights are in there? Not to mention Tirek could drain us of our magic at any time.”
“And it’s not like big meanie pants has a surprise party waiting for us,” Pinkie pouted. “Or even the entire cast of ‘Centaur World’… though Tirek in Centaur World… that would make for an interesting fanfic.”
“Any ideas, Twi?” Rainbow groaned.
“Hmm… I think it’s time to use that invisibility spell Celestia and Professor Dumbledore taught me,” Twilight suggested.
“I thought you said it only worked so muggles couldn’t see us,” Spike shot back.
“Well, from the looks of those guards, I highly doubt any of them are magical anyway,” Twilight pointed out. “At least if we use the spell, we can take some of them out and weaken their ranks. That way, Tirek has no one to guard him and we can all work together to take him out.”
The remainder of the group pondered for a moment until they all nodded in agreement. If they could at least remove the knights, it would help thin out the opposition. Twilight proceeded to charge her horn and just when she was about to cast the invisibility spell…
“Guys, watch out!” Raven yelled.
The next thing any of the ponies or Spike knew, a large iron net fell on top of them and trapped them. Based on past experiences, they could tell immediately it was the special metal that counteracted their abilities, making it nearly impossible to escape.
“OH, COME ON!!!” Rainbow yelled. “AGAIN?!”
“How does this keep happening to us?!” Spike shouted loudly.
“I blame this all on the lazy writing,” Pinkie answered.
Suddenly, a wicked laughter caused the entire group to turn their heads as none other than Tirek himself emerged from behind a corner. Behind him was a whole garrison of knights, all either drawing swords or aiming their crossbows directly at the entire group.
“Well, well, well… you pathetic little ponies really are predictable,” Tirek spoke mockingly. “Instead of following that stupid donkey or that lumbering green oaf, you just can’t help but come looking for me. You’d realize now that sort of thinking spells your doom ‘every’ time.”
He turned his attention toward the two teenage princess, who looked shocked over what was happening around them.
“And if I’m not mistaken, you’re the brats who somehow managed to escape the destruction that burned your world to ashes,” Tirek smirked. “My two new colleagues aren’t particularly happy you managed to escape them.”
“H-H-How did you…” Apple stuttered.
“Perhaps my new associate can explain,” Tirek gestured beside him.
From behind the centaur and the knights, none other than Venrys Baratheon stepped out. He laughed at the mere sight before him.
(Click the link)
https://m.youtube.com/shorts/zt-rRkbi-zw
“Thought you could run, did you?” He laughed. “When my Queen sets her sights on a target, or two in this case, there’s nowhere to hide.”
Raven growled in anger, remember Venrys from the night of the Red Thronecoming. How he stabbed Headmaster Grimm in the back, ordering all the guards to cut down all their friends one-by-one. As her anger grew, she could feel the magic coursing through her veins.
“You… you did this!” She seethed, through gritted teeth. “You murdered our friends and destroyed our home! I promised myself that if I ever saw you again, I’d destroy you for what you did to my life!”
By this point, her magic actually morphed around her as it made her hair burn purple and her eyes glowed brightly. This, however, just made Venrys chuckle more.
“If I were you little girl, I’d ease that temper if you saw what I’ve got hidden away.”
Hearing this, Apple’s eyes went wide. Quickly, she jumped in front of her best friend trying to calm her down.
“Look at me Raven, look at me,” She spoke calmly. “Take a deep breath and calm down.”
Raven wanted nothing more than to blast this creep and all who pledged to stand beside him. But staring into the cool blue eyes of her friend, somehow it managed to relax her a bit. Apple turned back to face Venrys.
“What do you mean ‘hidden away’?” She asked calmly.
“Pull the torch and find out,” Venrys suggested.
Apple, having no idea what to make of his suggestion, nonetheless slowly walked over and pulled the torch to open the hidden passageway. When the wall slide aside, the Equestrians, and especially Apple and Raven, gasped at the very sight toward the other side.
Inside stood another garrison of guards in the middle of what looked like a torture chamber. In the center were four wooden posts with four individuals tied to them with burlap sacks over their heads. The guards inside removed each burlap sack from each individual, one by one, revealing four individuals Apple and Raven presumed to be dead.
Briar Beauty, Madeline Hatter, Ashlynn Ella, and Cerise Hood.
“Apple?” Madeline spoke weakly. “Raven?”
“Maddie?!” Apple and Raven gasped.
“Didn’t see that one comin’,” Applejack admitted.
She’s right. Nothing is ever that easy when it comes to rescue missions that seem simple to do
As of now, we've reached the moment that our adventurers have been waiting for. Entering the Dragon's Keep... and just as they expected, the atmosphere is not a welcome sight. Then again, if I were wandering through a creepy castle surrounded by what's left of the owner's enemies, I'd be wandering why the heck I'm even there. As if the Dragon is not threatening enough, least our heroes haven't met the beast yet, but Tirek and his troops had been waiting for them to fall into their trap.
This chapter is practically 'loaded' with surprises, like a baked potato with sour cream, onion chives, and cheddar cheese.
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Okay now you've gone and made me hungry
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Well done Mr e
Oh my Faust..they’re alive
Future G5
Discord Memorial Cinema
Me: Here it is, folks: the Dragon’s Keep.
Hitch: Um…I get the feeling this dragon might not be so friendly.
Me: Wait, when did they go to the Land of the Dead, again?
Zipp: It was back during their…Wrestlemania adventure.
Me: Ah. Well, they better be prepared, because there are much darker places I can think of.
Zipp: …you scare me. I just want to let you know that.
Onyx: A dragon poet, you know it.
Me: I’m one for depressed poetry, but there’s a fine line between depressed and bored.
Izzy: I like it!
Zipp: It’s uh…got a nice beat, I think.
Sparky and Izzy did the motions along with Spike.
Izzy: …nothing happened.
Sparky: (grumbles)
Me: I would do it myself, if I didn’t value my pride as a young adult.
Zipp: Tell me about it.
Pipp: You should have Zipp when she—
Zipp: A di-di-di-di-di-di-di shut it…!
Pipp: (rolls her eyes) If you insist.
Sunny: Uh…was that supposed to be funny?
Zipp: Didn’t sound like it.
Hitch: Wait, that happened?
Me: Oh, yeah. Poor Fluttershy was heartbroken. And in the end, Tirek betrayed Discord, as ya do.
Zipp: Seriously?
Sunny: Was this because of that whole “charisma” thing you said?
Me: Yep. He prides himself on being the strongest, with the kind of lingo you would here in an old Shakespeare play…or fairy tale.
Me: Where I come from, dragons, unicorns, and pegasi are considered myths, and yet I’m staring right at physical examples of living myths, Shrek, so your argument is null and void.
Izzy: (gasps) We don’t exist?!
Me: Calm down, I said where I’m from. As far as I know, you’re all as real as a wooden chair.
Pipp: (deadpans) Thank you for that wonderful analogy.
Me: Would you rather have me say “tire iron”?
Pipp: What’s a “tire iron”?
Me: I rest my case.
Haven: How rude.
Hitch: Yeah, what was that for?
Me: Depends on what dragon you’re talking about. I heard of a dragon so large that he crushed an entire mountain range when he fell.
Sunny: An entire mountain range?!
Izzy: What was his name?
Me: Ancalagon…the Black.
Zipp: “Ancalagon”? Sounds like a much better name than “Sparky”.
Hitch: Hey!
Posey: Yes, please. Do us all a favor.
Me: “Fairy” valid? That better not have been on purpose.
Izzy: Oh! You mean the book he was reading at the beginning and used the page as—
Sunny: Okay, Izzy. (embarrassed) Eheh, we get the point.
Me: Wait a minute…this castle is meant to be deserted apart from the Princess and the dragon.
Hitch: So…what?
Me: Something’s not right…
Hitch: (pale) Uh…s-s-slay the dragon?!
Me: It’s a common trope in fairy tales.
Hitch: What?!
Me: I wish I was kidding.
Zipp: Whelp, he’s gonna die.
Sunny: Zipp!
Zipp: What? I’m just saying!
Sunny: Um…
Me: Oh, God no, don’t tell me…
Me: If these Knights are like Mideaval Nazis, then I will have no qualms with having them die horrible and comical deaths.
Crickets.
Pipp: …that’s a bit, um…gruesome, don’t you think?
Me: Not really.
Izzy: Ooooooh, that does not look good.
Hitch: (scared) Is that…the dragon?
Izzy: And Donkey looked like he was having so much fun, too!
Me: Usually, I play the harmonica when I’m bored.
Hitch: Hey, I play the harmonica, too.
Izzy: I play the euphonium.
Zipp: Furthermore, how has she not starved to death yet?
Pipp: Zipp!
Zipp: I’m serious! What did she have to eat all those years?!
Me: …don’t look at me.
Izzy: (with Donkey) DRAGON!!!
Zipp: Enough with the screaming already!
Hitch: Woah, that’s a lot of fire! (covers Sparky’s eyes) Look away, Sparky. This will traumatize you.
Zipp: Ooh!
Pipp: That’s gonna leave a mark.
Me: (laughing) Ah, that gets me every time!
Izzy: (whispering to Sunny) I’m starting to think that this guy likes watching people in pain a li~ttle too much.
Sunny: Oh, no! Donkey!
Me: Quick, Donkey! Do the thing!
Sunny: What thing?!
Me: Not…quite what I expected, but it works just as fine.
Zipp: What exactly was that meant to accomplish?!
Me: Hooh, baby. There it is.
Sunny: Not…that’s not what I expected at all.
Sparky: Wo~ow!
Hitch: Sparky, you’re a young dragon!
Zipp: Uh, oh. I think it worked too well.
Me: Yeah, where did that come from anyway?
Sunny: Where did what come from?
Me: Nah, it’s not a big problem.
Izzy: I’m sure he’ll be fine. After all, he did bag a smokin’ hot dragon, am I right?
Crickets.
Pipp: Don’t do that ever again.
Misty: (to herself) I guess…not all dragons are magical…and adorable.
Me: (Cockney accent) Slaves to your honor, eh?
Pipp: Huh?
Me: And not the good kind where we can sing along with Elvis Presley.
Izzy: Or Pipp Petals!
Pipp: What are you guys talking about?
Me: Maybe save that conversation for a different situation.
Izzy: Hey, that rhymed!
Zipp: Is this the same spell that works on the Invisibility Cloak?
Me: No, they’re two distinct entities.
Zipp: (memos) Note to self: find out what he means by “two distinct entities”.
Me: (sarcasm) It’s almost like they were waiting for them.
Izzy: (gasps) How deviously clever!
Me: All that’s missing is for him to say: “Well, my little ponies, how unexpected, and by unexpected I mean completely expected!” in an Eastern European accent while wearing a white lab coat.
Izzy: Wouldn’t that make him a pharmacist?
Zipp: Since when did Bridlewood have pharmacies?
Me: Mmm…maybe. (to myself) What is it with Doofenshmirtz and pharmacies?
Me: Oh, goddamnit. Can these villains be anymore cliche?!
Zipp: What about Farquaad then?
Me: In Farquaad’s case, that was on purpose. And besides, I can laugh at him. (sighs) I’m not mad, just annoyed.
Me: Blech!
Sunny: Are you okay?
Me: Just listening to this guy is making my mouth sick.
Izzy: Hey, me too!
Me: Neither did I. Wow.
Izzy: They’re their friends who were thought to be dead by are not dead?!
Zipp: And they’re holding them for ransom!
Hitch: It’s just one surprise after another.
Tinny: (angry) Do these people have any decency?!
Red: (thoughts) I think the word decency doesn’t apply to them.
Me: In times like these, I’ve only got one thing to say: where’s Bilbo Baggins when you need him?
To quote Neil Patrick Harris, That’s how you do an evil laugh.
Great Calico’s ghost singing the second act of hadestown!
I definitely can agree with AJ! What a mid Act 1 Twist!
Already in the dragons keep and they’re separated. Hopefully after Shrek gets the Princess he can find Donkey and the others and get out of that place
I see a new chapter has been unlocked!
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Hold on, everyone! I’ll be there soon! As soon as I’m free from work!
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Sounds good, P.D. We just released this chapter only this morning. There's plenty of time.
Oh dear lord, the nuke has been dropped, how will our heroes get out of this mess *shivering with anticipation* so nervous
Me: Whoa, didn't see that coming.
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Discord's Theatre, Galaxy Branch
Ahsoka Tano: That's...a lot of bodies.
Postwar: What did you expect, the prettiest pet shop?
Sunset Shimmer: Uh, he kind of does have a good point.
Lando Calrissian: They really did go to those places?
Postwar: They did.
Sunset Shimmer: The castle they talked about was where Princess Celestia and her sister Luna lived before they moved to Canterlot, the Spooky Island was when Twilight and the others went on their second adventure and where they discovered Chrysalis and the others escaped from their stone prison. The Phantom's lair, was when Rarity met her husband before they were married, and the Land of the dead is where they met Applejack's parents.
Cal Kestis: Wow, that's a lot.
Postwar: You'd better believe it, buster.
Galen Marek: Six hours?
Ben Solo: I'd go bonkers if I did anything like that.
Postwar: *Groaned and slapped his forehead* He's been with them for how long and he's still a brainless doofus.
Luke Skywalker: Do not judge him so harshly. For one must never be deceived by what one sees before them.
Postwar: *mumbles* Says the one who didn't realize that his own nephew would be turned into a monster.
Luke Skywalker: What?
Postwar: Nothing.
Postwar: Pff, like that's never happened before. I like Pinkie, but sometimes she can be unnerving.
Pinkie Pie: *pops out of nowhere* I HEARD THAT!! *Disappears without a trace*
Everyone was surprised by this, with Postwar groaning, not wanting to question it, as usual.
Postwar: The same could be said with Ogres, fairies, werewolves and so on, but you don't see them whining about them being a myth and folklore.
Ahsoka Tano: He does have a point.
Galen Marek: But then again, he's one of those 'seeing is believing' type of people.
Sunset Shimmer: He says that now, but wait until later.
Leia Organa: Is he really that bad?
Postwar: Trust me, he is. You didn't hear this from me, but one time Tirek escaped five hundred years ago to another world to cause panic. It took all the might of the original CA group to seal him away. You could say he's like a parasite.
Sunset Shimmer: Bad time being scared whilst in a place where the dragon might attack.
Galen Marek: You'd think they'd learn after what happened the last time.
Postwar: Like you're one to talk.
Leia Organa: You know, I can't help but feel insulted by that remark.
Postwar: Blame the people who wrote those stories.
Sunset Shimmer: Trust me, he's not wrong.
Han Solo: So they did follow them there.
Postwar: That's weird, I thought the dragon took care of them.
Lando Calrissian: Guess they know how to hide from plain sight.
Sunset Shimmer: *deadpanned expression* You really want us to answer that? *Everyone else nodding in agreement*.
Han Solo: They're going to walk into a trap, aren't they?
You know, I'm glad Admiral Ackbar isn't here with you lot.
Leia Organa: How so?
Postwar: Otherwise he'd kept shouting, "It's a trap!!" *looks at him in confusion*. Trust me, back where I'm from that became his number one meme.
Luke Skywalker: I assume that creature there, is the dragon?
Postwar: You bet your dad's lightsaber that is.
Sunset Shimmer: Who the heck is that?
Cal Kestis: Something tells me we'll find out soon.
Lando Calrissian: Well, that's one way to get there.
Han Solo: If you can avoid being flung far by a giant creature.
Ahsoka Tano: Wait. Is he...serenading?
Postwar: I think he is. Speaking of which, *smirks and looks at her* When was the last time you called that guy who has a crush on you? *Ahsoka blushes madly at that comment*
Everyone: *minus Sunset & Postwar* It's a girl?!
Sunset & Postwar: Well, duh.
Half the guys laugh at his predicament:
Postwar: Oh boy, I see where this is going.
Sunset Shimmer: Surprisingly, I'm actually curious about where this will go, too.
Postwar: Ugh, they're worse than Storm Troopers.
Everyone: Tell me about it.
Postwar: Here it comes.
Sunset Shimmer: Here what comes?
Galen Marek: In three...two...one...
Everyone: (minus Galen and Postwar) Oh, come on!!!
Postwar: *growled and pulled out a cellphone and texted*. Dear Phantom Dragon, few things that you need to know...
1) The group has been captured by a iron magic dampening net...AGAIN!!
2) Make a note that after this adventure, we set up a board meeting to create a spell to track down magical artifacts such as that.
And 3) Then we make a spell that would instantly destroy them so that we don't have to find them the hard way!!
Oh, and just to give you a heads up of why you suddenly have a phone in your pocket, blame Deadpool, he heard who we were dealing with, so he arranged a deal with his 4th wall breaking buddies that we would have cellphones to text and call one another, plus it's got unlimited internet and free roaming.
Postwar: Oh boy, she's starting to act like Sunset. *Gets a glare from her*. Not you, your human counterpart. *surprises her*
Sunset Shimmer: You've met my human counterpart?!
Postwar: That, and uh...we've been dating for almost a month.
Sunset's jaws dropped in shock of that.
Postwar: *texts Phantom Dragon* Also, the girls that Raven and Apple thought were dead, they're also there and being held prisoner by Tirek and the Knights. Talk to you soon.
Postwar: And send.
Sunset Shimmer: Wait...are you...texting?
Postwar: Yeah, I'm texting to the rest of the CA group so that they would know.
Sunset Shimmer: Wha...bu...how?!
Postwar: Pff, what, just because we come from a secret society, doesn't mean we don't know how to blend in, what are we, animals?
Oh, man. For Tirek to show himself to the Mane 6 this early. Be on your guard, everypony.
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Oh my God, those girls are alive!!!!.
I'm home!
*Puts on reading glasses*
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Canterlot Mall Theater, Discord's Branch
Arctic: Yeah, I have to agree to. Most of their adventures do have that same. Though, I’m sure they’ll be heading to darker places at some point.
Fluttershy: M-More darker? (She said with a bit of fear in her voice)
Sci-Twi: Don’t worry Fluttershy. I’m sure, it won’t be that bad, I think (she mentioned saying that last part to herself)
Rainbow Dash: Ugh, I hate poetry
Rarity: Honestly, it’s not that bad darling (she mentioned to her rainbow hair friend)
Rainbow Dash: Yes it is! (She protested back) Heck, I’m sure someone could die of boredom
Applejack: Ok, now you’re just overreacting. (She chimes in looking towards Rainbow Dash)
Arctic: Yeah, wrong choice of words there Pinkie
Fluttershy: At least it wasn’t on purpose
Arctic: Yeah, not one of Discord's best moments to get tricked like that
Pinkie: At least Discord learn his lesson and was forgiven. Right Acey
Arctic: (thinks about the events after that and the “Ace Ventura” incident with Phantom) Well that’s debatable. Especially, after one of the past adventures.
Rarity: That’s a bit harsh don’t you think? He should believe what they say
Sci-Twi: Well, he is from a land of fairytales. And a few of Princess Twilight and her friends' enemies they faced are mythical creatures like Tirek and the Sirens.
Arctic: (nods in agreement) Yeah, so it would make sense if a creature from a land of fairytales wouldn’t believe that mythical creatures like centaurs and sirens are real
Arctic: There are a lot of dragons that can be really frightening.
Applejack: I’m glad, we don’t have to face anything like that
Fluttershy: (nods her head a bit in agreement)
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, he really does need to learn when to stop talking
Sci-Twi: That’s not good. (She said seeing this) They’re already there
Arctic: (was quiet as he stares at this for a moment)
Rariry: (the fashionista notices the look Ace is making) Ace, is something wrong
Arctic: I’m not sure but, I have a bad feeling about this. Something feels off
Rainbow Dash: That sure changes his mind quickly
The Equestrian Girls minus Fluttershy, Pinkie, and Ace shared the same look having some doubt thinking Donkey would get into some trouble for doing a simple task
Fluttershy: H-He might not get in trouble. (She mentioned softy)
Pinkie: Yeah! I believe in you Donkey! (She exclaimed)
The Equestrian Girls started to feel unease at this themselves. Like Ace, something felt off about this scenario, and worry something could happen.
Rainbow Dash: (she looks over towards Pinkie and Fluttershy) You both were saying
Fluttershy: (look away slightly) S-Still, can’t blame us for having some hope
Rarity: My word, I wonder who that was?
Arctic: Don’t know, maybe will find out soon enough
Sci-Twi: Whoever it is, seems like they got her mix up with Rapunzel
Pinkie: At least he made it there (she said softly)
Arctic: Maybe, but that’s gonna leave a mark for awhile
Rainbow Dash: Is..he singing to it? (She said shocked and dumbfounded by this)
Sci-Twi: I think he is..(she said towards Rainbow while also surprised)
Fluttershy: (she would look towards Arctic Ace a bit and starts to whisper) Ace, is that dragon by chance a-(she begins to say towards the ice pony)
Arctic: (he would nod his head a little toward the shy girl and place a finger onto his lips softly)
Rainbow Dash: That Dragon’s a girl?! (She said in shock)
Applejack:Well know, I didn’t see that coming
Rarity: Certain explains why it work.
Arctic: (would laugh a little bit) Yeah, it work too well
Fluttershy: Will he be ok? (The shy girl asks worriedly)
Sci-Twi: I’m sure, he’ll be fine, hopefully.
Arctic: (would soon realized something about the situation) Oh no..
Pinkie: What’s wrong Acey? (She ask seeing him getting worried)
Arctic: They need to move now before-
Arctic: It’s to late..
Rainbow Dash: Oh come on! Why does this happen every time!
Pinkie & EQG Pinkie: I blame this all on the lazy writing
The Equestrian Girls and Ace were in shock as well seeing Raven and Apple's friends still alive
Applejack: I agree. Didn’t see that coming either
Sci-Twi: I can’t believe it. They had them this whole time.
Arctic: Yeah, but now they’re in a dangerous situation. Princess Twilight and her friends are in a magic-proof net. And with Raven and Apple's friends held captive. One small mistake could mean trouble
Pinkie: They’ll find a way out of this.. right? (She asked hopefully as she looks towards the ice pony)
Arctic: I hope so, but, they need to be cautious and think carefully so that no severe casualties happen.
Next>>
Just needed to get something off my mind. The latest banter between me and Discord brought up this funny scene from Disney's Mulan.
Random Dude: (To Discord) "Your misguidance almost ended Equestria in disaster!"
Random Brony: (Suffering Season 9 finale flashback) "Yeah. Thanks a lot..."
Well nice to see some Ever Afters made it out. Been a while since I been into GOT, but fairly sure Venrys is a new face. Rollins makes for a good fit here.
I'm guessing centaurs are new to Far Far Away going by Shrek's reaction. Really given by everything else there I would believe aliens coexisting at this point. Also...afraid to ask what Velvet Glove means. ^^; I got "Superficial gentleness and courtesy masking a strong and unyielding will or determination" on my first search but I'm sure there's likely a dirtier connotation.
Until I pull myself together and publish the commentary, everyone please enjoy this Dreamworks Medley, ft. Brian Hull and Peter Hollens.
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He is a great fit seeing as he is a massive fan of GOT. He’s even done an entrance at Wrestlemania inspired by the White Walkers
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I will admit that this was a rather entertaining medley. First time I ever saw it actually.
I got it Mr. E! Don't worry! I'll get it finished soon!
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Meanwhile, back at Discord's Theater
Garble: (Scoffing) "Meh. Sucks to be them." (His dragon gang all share their agreements)
Gallus: "Still, ya can't help but feel bad for them. Can you imagine? Trying to rescue a pretty princess from the tower, only to find out too late you bit off more than you could chew and your final moment was that you never got the chance to save her?"
Silverstream: (Gasps in shock) "That would be awful!" (Clasps her claws with Gallus) "I don't know how I'd live my life if you died because of me."
Gallus looks into Silverstream's watery eyes.
Gallus: (To Silverstream) "Silver...with you, I love you more than life itself."
Silverstream: (To Gallus) "Oh Gallus~"
And together, both Gallus and Silverstream share a kiss.
Extra Cut
Somewhere in the castle – not too far behind the leading protagonists of the story – Wallflower Blush, Juniper Montage, and Medusa were searching the castle, looking for their friends to try and warn them about Tirek and General Venrys Baratheon. During their time in the castle, the three girls couldn't help but look at their surrounding.
Juniper Montage: "Wow! The Dragon's Keep!"
Wallflower Blush: (Looks at some bones) "Well, a dragon's definitely here. Judging by the skeletons of these knights..."
Juniper Montage: (Looks at the castle) "All the same...I must get the number of this castle's interior decorator. Or even the architect's."
Maddie: "And I thought my old garden wasssss dreary..."
Big Mac: "Eeyup."
Big Mac: "Nope."
A lot of moviegoers in the audience all agreed on that notion.
Thorax: "That's what I've been saying!"
A lot of the dragons, griffons, and ponies in the audience all shot some looks at Garble, who simply scoffed in response.
Garble: (Shrugs) "Well...you can't say I'm not passionate about my artistry. Can you?"
Smolder: (Smiles to herself) "Oh, this is gonna be good."
Me: (Facepalm) "D'oh! Spike..."
Some of the audience members couldn't help but laugh at Spike's cluelessness.
Ember: (To Smolder) "Seriously? You taught him that?"
Smolder: (To Ember; smiling smugly to herself) "Yup. And the dummy still bought it."
Garble: (Holds a fist out to Smolder) "Respect, sister." (Both dragon siblings share a fist bump)
Mina: (To Smolder) "Still, that wasn't a nice thing to do, Smolder. He still has a lot to learn about being a dragon and stuff."
Smolder: (To Mina) "Well, on the bright side, maybe this'll teach not to take any dragons' words for it." (Turns serious) "Not like a certain green fat ass, mind you... Also, it's on him for falling for it twice now."
Me: (Tries to argue for Spike's defense, but faltered) "Touché."
Me: "Yeah. For all we know, besides a dragon, that castle might also be rigged with traps."
Krystal: (To me) "And you know this from playing a video game about an Italian plumber, with amazing jumping prowess, on a quest to save a princess?"
Me: (To Krystal) "Yup."
Discord: "Like me! And proud of it." (Smiles smugly)
Everyone in the audience immediately turned to glare at Discord with stink eyes.
Discord: (To us) "Oh!" (Rolls his eyes) "How do you like that? Me being duped into working for his redness automatically has me on the bottom of every fan lists. But when Sunset 'Stupid Bacon Head' Shimmer gets duped to working for Emperor Palpatine a.k.a. Darth Sidious, Grandpa Palpatine, Chancellor Pale Face, SHE gets sympathy, whilst I don't? Now how's that fair? Harumph!" (Pouts and crossed his arms)
Me: (To Discord) "Discord. The difference between your betrayal and...her's – though technically it's not a betrayal per say – is that YOU still had EVERY rational sense of thoughts to not follow through on Tirek's offer, while Sunset had suffered countless of Sith tortures, almost 24/7 since she arrived, and was manipulated to joining over to the Dark Side, while you...did it willingly."
Discord: (To me) "And your point is?"
Everyone: "WHHAAAAATT?!"
Me: "And whose fault was THAT Discord?" (Turned to look at Discord, with everyone doing the same)
Discord: (To me) "...I wasn't the one who decided to spontaneously sing a random Disney Descendant song without facing copyright infringement. Not mentioning names. Sunset Shimmer." (Magically turns his face into Sunset Shimmer, then points a finger gun at himself, with a derp face)
Big Mac: "Eeyup."
Marble Pie: "Mmm-hmm."
Bulk Biceps: "YEEEEEAAAAAAHHHH!!!"
Ember: "Uh...This is the same yellow butterfly pony who came to the Dragon Land to cuddle with some baby dragons awhile back. Right?"
Me: (Shaking my head) "Sometimes, I don't know what goes on in that little head of Fluttershy's." (Turned to Ember) "Though...quick question. Has she ever met your dad?"
Ember: (Looks up and ponders) "Hmmmm." (Shakes her head) "No, I don't think they have....yet."
Me: "Hmmm. I think she'd be scared to death if she met your dad then..."
Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Ugh." (Stucks some tissues into his ears)
Gilda: "UGH! Blah blah blah blah blah blaaaah!"
Gilda: "Well that shut 'em up."
Extra Cut
The noise also startled Wallflower Blush and Juniper Montage to jump into Maddie's arms.
Juniper Montage: (Screaming) "WHAT WAS THAT?!!!"
Big Mac: "Nope."
Smolder: "Heh. To non-dragon creatures, armory is highly overrated."
Me: "So long as the princess isn't in another castle, no problem."
Button Mash: (To me) "Ya darn right!"
Me: (Wide eyes in fright) "No need to tell me twice." (Having horror PTSD) "I can still hear her death rattles..."
Gilda: (Sarcasm) "Wow. Big words from someone who wears his fears across his sleeves..."
Gallus: "Famous last words..."
Extra Cut
At that moment, a certain trio of adventurers in the Extra Cuts appeared.
Juniper Montage: "The sooner we get out of this creepy castle. The better!"
Maddie: "There'ssss still no ssssign of your friendssss here." (Her snakes hissed loudly) "But they're clossssss. I can jussssst tasssssste their presssssscencccce in the air..."
Wallflower Blush: (Turns to look at Juniper and Maddie) "We have to keep looking for our friends and help them. We can't let Sunset Shimmer down! C'mon!"
Wallflower Blush walks off to look, leaving Maddie with Juniper Montage.
Maddie: (Turns to Juniper) "Doessss thissss SSSSunsssset Shimmer mean all that much to her?"
Juniper Montage: (To Maddie) "You don't even know half of the story. But yeah, from where we come from, she was one of our closest friends! One of the bests!" (Turns to look in Wallflower's direction) "Though, between you and me...I think Wallflower's still taking her absence a little too hard..."
Audience: "GASP!"
Shining Armor: (Looks through a periscope) "Yeah...And some of them are still outside of Ponyville, waiting for their leader to return..."
(For Massager) [Storm Shield praying for the Force to be with them.]
Princess Luna: (Saying it together with her nephew) "May the Force be with them."
Everyone in the audience were all freaking out.
Button Mash: (Stuttering) "D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D–"
Tender Taps: (Shivering) "D-D-Dr-Dr-Dr-Dra–"
Random Dude: (Screaming) "WE'RE ALL GONNA DIIIIIEEEE!!!!!"
Me: (Catches the Random Dude by the hair) "Calm down, Random Dude! It's in the movie!"
Crazy Steve: (Flapping his arms) "COCK-A-DOODLE DOO! THE COW SAYS MOOOOOO!!!!"
Extra Cut
Wallflower Blush: "Dragon? Where?" (Sees Donkey running past her, then looks up in time to see the dragon stomping towards her) "Ah! AH!"
Juniper Montage: "WALLFLOWER!!!" (Jumps at Wallflower, pushing her friend and herself out of the dragon's way, in time)
Button Mash: "YEEEAAAHHH!!! YOU GOT 'EM BY THE TAIL!!! Now spin 'im! SPIN HIM! And say: So long-a Bowser!"
Button Mash's big brother: (To Button Mash) "That only works in the video game, little bro..."
Button Mash's big brother: (To Button Mash) "Told ya."
Sweetie Belle: (To Button Mash and his bro) "Well, on the bright side, he got the princess!"
Apple Bloom: (To Sweetie Belle) "But how are they going to get down now?"
Scootaloo: (To the CMCs and boys) "Shhh! Guys! Look!"
Matilda Donkey: "Oh! The poor dear!"
Cranky Doodle Donkey: (Looked on with sad eyes) "Even if he was annoying as Pinkie Pie, even he doesn't deserve to go out like this!"
Extra Cut
Wallflower Blush and Juniper Montage soon collected themselves.
Wallflower Blush: "What's happening? What's going on?"
Maddie: (Turns to shush at the two girls) "Shhh! Look!" (Points to Donkey and the Dragon)
Gallus: "It's working!"
Sandbar: "What do you know? Maybe he can talk his way out of this!"
Extra Cut
Juniper Montage: "Wow! Color me impressed! That donkey has a way with words!"
Dumbfounded, both Wallflower and Maddie simply nodded their heads in agreement.
Sandbar: "No way!"
Garble: (His eyes immediately bulged out, with hearts in his eyes, and his tongue rolled out) "Hubba hubba! She's MILF material!"
Smolder: (Looks at Garble with an annoyed look, then to the readers) "Boys..."
Norberta: (Agrees with her mother) "No control."
Not just him...
Garble: "OH!" (His heart shatters like glasses) "HIM?!"
*Glass Break SFX*
Capper Dapperpaw: "Ooooooh!"
Me: (Remembering Sparity in its heydays) "It's deja vu all over again..."
Sonata Dusk: "For realsies?!" (Accidentally chokes on her taco) "Help!" *Coughs* "A little help...please?" *Cough* (Some Discord Theater Employees, including me, quickly came over to help Sonata)
Ember: "She needs to get out more."
Pharynx: "Yeah. When's the last time she met a male dragon?"
Extra Cut
The only one who are present to witness this bizarre scene were Wallflower Blush and friends.
Maddie: "Uh...I don't know the donkey for long. But...sssshouldn't we go and maybe...check up on him?"
Wallflower Blush: "But...our friends!" (Points in the direction the Equestrian Heroes, plus Apple White and Raven Queen, have gone to)
Juniper Montage: "I'll go and check on Donkey."
Maddie: "And I'll go with her in cassssse there'ssss trouble..."
Wallflower Blush didn't seem to like that idea, but sighed.
Juniper Montage: (Walks up to Wallflower) "Oh! And Wallflower?" (Gives her friend her wand) "Take this. In case you need it."
Wallflower Blush takes the wand, then looks up to Juniper and nodded.
Wallflower Blush: "Be careful, Juniper." (Walks up to hug her friend)
Juniper Montage: (Returns the hug) "You too, Wally."
Discord's Theater
Gabby: "Y'know. I think that dragon and Spike can relate."
Gilda: (To Gabby) "What makes you say that?"
Gabby: (To Gilda) "Well, Spike once told me about how he's had an unrequited crush with Rarity and how he wanted to please her and hold her that eventually, she and him would be...an item..."
Gilda: "...He does know that she's kinda beyond his age range, doesn't he?"
Gabby: "Yeah. He gets it. But he didn't care. Because to him, all that matters was that he'd get to see his favorite pony everyday and that everyday would be another brand new day for him to come up with all the things he can do to please her to make her smile. Because to him, she was his diamond in the sky."
Gilda: "Wow...he's got it real bad then. Didn't he?"
Gabby: "Yeah." (Looks down with a glum look on her face) "Makes me feel sorry for him though. I mean, it must really hurt for him to lose her to someone else. And after that one episode when she drove a wedge between the two of us, just because she missed having him around. I mean, I can understand wanting him around more, because Spike is so cute and awesome! But still...if she was just going to find someone new, then...why bother wanting him back to begin with?"
Gilda: "Sounds to me that Marshmallow Unicorn's messed up in the head and only wants him back, so she can break his heart later."
Gabby: (Shakes her head) "Nah, I don't think that's it. Still, even when he's smiling, I'm sure the pain of his broken heart still runs deep. And I want to help him heal that wound. Because for what it's worth, he's my diamond in the sky."
Extra Cut
Tailing behind them is Wallflower Blush, armed with nothing but a wand, and an old sword from a dead knight.
Wallflower Blush: (Grunting as she carries the sword) "Whoa...those...knights...must've...been...pretty...strong!"
Clearly, Wallflower misses having the lightsaber-pen that Discord once loaned her.
Daring Do: "Hmmm. Classic secret passageway, accessible by a torch."
Big Mac: "Eeyup."
Big Mac: "Yup."
Smolder: (Sarcasm) "What else is new?"
Big Mac: "Eeyup."
Me: "...No comments."
Mina: "Ditto."
Krystal: "I'm telepathic and I still can't make sense of that pony's head..."
Me: (Shrugging to Krystal) "That's just Pinkie being Pinkie, youngster."
Extra Cut
Wallflower Blush: "I may be magical, but I never needed a spell to be invisible to begin with..."
But of course, nobody noticed her to respond to her.
Extra Cut
Thankfully, Wallflower Blush managed to evade capture.
Wallflower Blush: (Waves Juniper's wand at the net) "Flipendo!" (She fires the spell, but it backfires and hits her instead) "WHOA!" (Crashes against a wall) "Ooh...that's smarts."
Bulk Biceps: "YEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHH!!!! Wait, what?"
Me: "I concur with Pinkie Pie."
Audience: "OH NO!"
Trixie: "Welp. They're goners..."
Random Dude:(Screaming) "WE'RE ALL GONNA DIIIIIEEEE!!!!!"
Extra Cut
The entire group, minus Wallflower Blush, who stayed silent so that none of the knights, nor Tirek, would notice her.
Extra Cut
Wallflower Blush hung her head low to the ground, ashamed of herself. Once again, she was too late to save her friends, let alone warn them.
Sweetie Belle: (Turns to Eric) "Uh...I hate to ask, but what does he mean by that?"
For Massager
Eric replies to Sweetie Belle in response.
Princess Luna: "WHAT–"
For Massager
Storm Shield's outburst.
Audience: "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTT???!!!"
Extra Cut
Somewhere in the castle...
Medusa "Maddie": (To Juniper Montage) "Did you ssssay ssssomething?" (Juniper shook her head in response) "Huh...I could've ssssworn ssssomeone jusssst called out to me..."
Big Mac: "Nope."
Ugh, those bad guys! But I got a feeling Shrek is going to rescue the ponies from Tirek and the Knights of a Series I Have Yet To Continue Watching
(I only saw those episodes via Rifftrax, so sue me)
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Yeah, Discord is lucky to escape repercussions for his many transgressions. It’s similar to the situation between Warner Bros. and Ezra Miller.
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Sonata Dusk: This is scary...
Me: Don't worry Sonata, I'm here for ya.
Sonata Dusk *smiles* Thanks.
Sonata Dusk: They actually went through all that?
Me: They did. I'll show you in the books sometime later.
Sonata Dusk: For realsies? Six hours?
Me: *rubbing temples* For realsies...
Me: Come on Spike, this isn't kindergarten.
Me: Ewwwww, too much info...
Me: *groans* I may like Pinkie, but she can be very dense at times....
Me: No thanks to a certain Spirit of Chaos... *glares at Discord*
Discord: Oh come on! It seemed like a good idea at the time!
Me: An idea that nearly doomed Equestria to destruction!
Discord: You and the other creatures are never going to let me live it down, are you?
Me: Nope!
Me: You say that now big guy.
Me: That's what I would've said to Lucas for always nagging about the next Harry Potter adventure.
Sonata Dusk: You still owe me that time to read fairytales together, Hunter.
Me: We'll do just that along with star watching once this is over.
Me: Too true.
Me: Good point.
Me: Do you want us to answer that?
Sonata Dusk: What?!
Me: How could we've missed that?!
Sonata Dusk: Is that...?
Me: It is.
Sonata Dusk Hair?
He's referring to a princess whom I'll share about later.
Me: *with Donkey* DRAGON!!!
Sonata Dusk: Ooooooh!....
Me: He's gonna feel that in the morning...
Me: Do the thing, Donkey!
Sonata Dusk: What thing?
Me: You'll see.
Sonata Dusk: It's a girl?
Me: You bet it is~
Sonata Dusk: I think that worked too well...
Me: He'll be fine... hopefully.
Me: Save that for later, Pinks...
Me: Hey, cut Mr. E some slack. He's doing his best. *receives Postwar's text* Noted, Post.
Me: Oh no...
Me: Whatever it is, it better be important. Otherwise...
Sonata Dusk: They're alive?!
Me: *with Applejack* Didn’t see that one comin’.
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(Receives texts from Postwar)
I’m not surprised. But I concur.
(Texting back) “We’ve got to find out who this Mysterious ‘N’ person is and stop them asap! And find out who the Benefactor really is!”
(Texting back) “I know. I’m seeing it right now!”
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(texting back)
I concur. And yet...when I last felt the benefactor. I sensed something...very familiar...something I haven't felt...since a thousand years in Equestria's past.
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(Texting back)
Sounds to me we’re not just dealing some kind of run-of-the-mill criminal mastermind of the magic variety then…
We could be dealing with something ancient and formidable then. Sort of like Ra’s Al Ghul, give or take how long he’s been alive, courtesy of the Lazarus Pit, and how he’s somewhat familiar with Equestria and Princess Celestia and such…
Still doesn’t help us narrow our search to identify the Benefactor, the Dark One, or this Mysterious N.
But whoever they are, they’re crazy prepared. They’re somehow tracking our activities and anticipating our movements. Me being kidnapped by Ray Finkle was no coincidence.
Wouldn't Pinkie Pie say that?
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Me:(texting)"I'm beginning to a picture here, but we need more clues to fill in the gaps and we find out what they are, our only chances is to catch Gladmane and get him to speak, but first we find him".
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Did you say something, Postwar?
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Sorry, I can't say anymore. Orders from the top.
Me:"Nvm, I better contact Engineer to see how's the base is holding up".
They're alive!!! I'm not too pleased all the others are probably dead but they're aliveeeee-!!!
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Excellent commentary as always!
Land of the Dead.... That was Corpse Bride, right? I almost forgot you guys did that one!
Seriously Shrek? You are an ogre, your friend is a talking donkey, and you practically live in a world of fairy tales; and you don't think centaurs are real? Though that's not so surprising to see that the rest of Raven and Apple's friends are alive, albeit prisoners. And go with the anti-magic material, The Mane 6 and Spike have to come up with a remedy to counteract that or they are going to have serious problems in the future... like the one they have now.
I'm not going to lie, the first time I saw the movie this scene was kind of scary (in my defense, I was just a kid): The gloomy atmosphere, the remains of the dragon victims and the soundtrack make this scene of chills. And the dragon, wow, this dragon is one of the best dragons in the animation genre (next to HTTYD and The Flight of dragons). His dark tonality and his roar make him even more terrifying.
But all that changes when Donkey praises him. The good thing is that he manages to save himself; the bad thing, the move does not go as expected: This dragon is a female dragon, and it seems that he has a crush on Donkey (The fact that dragons are attracted to equines is not something that only happens in Equestria). Things have gotten more fun, though not for Donkey, who can only yell for help. But who will save you if the rest is not available?
At least Shrek has found Princess Fiona. Now the most difficult thing remains: get her out of there, all together and alive.
I am honored that you put my dialogue in the story. :)
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Zatanna: " Eesh! This dragon didn't mess around!"
Dodger: Absolutely not!"
Garble: (Shrugs) "Well...you can't say I'm not passionate about my artistry. Can you?"
Myself: " Don't jinks it."
Zatanna: "He was tricked? The king of trickers was tricked?!"
Myself: " Yep then had the carpet pulled from under him."
Discord: (To us) "Oh!" (Rolls his eyes) "How do you like that? Me being duped into working for his redness automatically has me on the bottom of every fan lists. But when Sunset 'Stupid Bacon Head' Shimmer gets duped to working for Emperor Palpatine a.k.a. Darth Sidious, Grandpa Palpatine, Chancellor Pale Face, SHE gets sympathy, whilst I don't? Now how's that fair? Harumph!" (Pouts and crossed his arms)
Phantom: (To Discord) "Discord. The difference between your betrayal and...her's – though technically it's not a betrayal per say – is that YOU still had EVERY rational sense of thoughts to not follow through on Tirek's offer, while Sunset had suffered countless of Sith tortures, almost 24/7 since she arrived, and was manipulated to joining over to the Dark Side, while you...did it willingly."
Ember: "Uh...This is the same yellow butterfly pony who came to the Dragon Land to cuddle with some baby dragons awhile back. Right?"
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Storm Shield: "May the force be with you"
Sweetie Belle: (Turns to Eric) "Uh...I hate to ask, but what does he mean by that?"
Eric: " He means you better calm down before something bad happens."
Storm Shield: " Huhhhh!?