A heavy wind picked up as the crystal portal opened up, allowing the Mane Six and Spike to depart into the new world. Soon as the portal sealed behind them, they looked around their new surroundings as they’d done for every single new place they stumbled upon. From what their eyes could see, there was nothing before them but trees, bushes, and trails of dirt for miles around. Clearly they were in a forest, probably miles away from any civilization at all. The only problem was the uncertainty of where exactly this forest laid upon.
“So, where the hay are we now?” Rainbow asked confused.
“No clue, sugar cube,” Applejack responded to her marefriend.
“No worries, I can help with that,” Twilight spoke up.
Igniting her horn with her magical aura, Twilight summoned her powers to scan the land and surrounding area. Upon doing so, Twilight Sparkle was able to form a layout pinpointing exactly where they were. Soon as she finished, her horn extinguished.
“Apparently we’re in a land known as Duloc,” Twilight informed.
“And how were you able to figure that out?” Spike asked her.
“Well after we returned from Gotham, I took a trip to Canterlot and worked with Storm Shield on a new spell he’d been experimenting on,” Twilight responded. “The spell is able to read the layout of an entire landscape and tell you all you need to know of the land and its inhabitants. Figured it be good to have for any and all future adventures.”
Upon hearing this, a small mischievous smile spread across Pinkie Pie’s face. The pink party pony leaned closely toward Twilight, quite uncomfortably too.
“So… you and Storm were practicing magic together?” She smirked. “Spending lots of time together? Just the two of you? Alone???”
This caused Twilight’s face to shift from its usual lavender color to as red as a tomato. The rest of her friends chuckled over her obvious embarrassment.
“That’s not—we weren’t—” Twilight stumbled nervously. “Why would you--?”
“HALT!!!”
Every pony, including Spike, immediately jumped upon her a new voice yelling out. They quickly turned toward a group of armored soldiers rushing towards them. Their armor was made entirely of shining plate steel and each knight had well-forged swords strapped upon their sides.
“Stay where you are!” One knight yelled. “You are all under arrest!”
“Under what grounds?!” Rarity asked appalled. “We haven’t done one thing wrong.”
“You are all clearly fairytale creatures,” The Knight responded. “By decree of Lord Farquaad, all fairytale creatures… especially your kind… are to be captured on the spot.”
“Bring it on punks!” Rainbow retorted, cracking her hooves. ‘I’ve been itching to punch some pony for a while now.”
Rainbow was about to fly toward one of the guards and begin her assault. However, she quickly found her tail on the teeth of her marefriend, Applejack, who held her back.
“Calm down, sugar cube,” Applejack said through gritted teeth. ‘Not every situation calls fer throwin’ hooves!”
“Maybe not in your eyes,” Rainbow shot back.
It took Applejack all her strength just to pull Rainbow Dash onto the ground. In the meantime, Twilight Sparkle tried reasoning with these knights.
“If you please good sirs, there’s clearly some misunderstanding,” She assured them. “My name is Princess Twilight Sparkle, and these are my friends. We mean no harm; we’ve simply come to retrieve someone who doesn’t belong here. As soon as we find him, we’ll leave your lands.”
But the guards quickly surrounded the Mane Six and Spike, pulling out some large chains and iron collars.
“Your reasons don’t matter here,” The knight responded. “You are all under arrest!”
The guards clasped the iron collars around the necks of the Mane Six and Spike, much to their annoyance. They tried using their powers to free themselves, but once again discovered that these chains were made of the same type of metal designed to constrict their powers.
“OH COME ON!” Spike yelled. “Where is everyone getting this stuff!”
“Shut up and move!” One guard yelled, tugging the chains.
“Bet you wish I was throwing hooves now!” Rainbow snipped at Applejack.
“You can’t arrest us!” Pinkie argued. “You never gave us our rights; this is illegal! SOME PONY CALL MY LAWYER!!!”
But the guard just yanked harder on the chains, forcing the ground down the dirt-trodden path leading to Celestia knows where. But wherever they were going, this certainly was not a very good start for our heroes at all.
<>
In another part of the forest, the peace disturbed by snapping whips and clanging metal, a group of fairy tale creatures were put in chains and led to various wagons by Duloc’s guards. The Captain of the Guards himself sat at a table paying a line of people their rewards for turning in any fairytale creature they stumbled upon or kept in their possession. Amongst those waiting in line included Peter Pan carrying Tinker Bell in a cage, Mr. Geppeto carrying Pinocchio, and a farmer carrying the Three Little Pigs themselves.
It was during which time that the Duloc Guards dragged the Mane Six and Spike into the area, forcing them in line with the other creatures.
“All of you remain here and don’t move!” One guard demanded, walking away.
“Just wait till I’m out of these chains, buddy!” Rainbow growled. “I’ll punch you so hard in the teeth, it’ll wake up at your dentist!”
“Or worse… you can wake up at my dentist!” Pinkie added, shuddering. “Nothing’s scarier than my dentist… they really don’t like me!”
The guards on patrol merely rolled their eyes under their helms, as the six ponies and teenage dragon were left in line awaiting their faith. All eyes of the group searched around the area. They were surprised, and also horrified, seeing the treatment of these creatures.
“Oh my goodness!” Fluttershy gasped. “Those poor creatures. How could any pony treat them so horribly?”
“I ask myself the same thing.”
Every pony, and Spike, turned forward to the source of the new voice. They soon noticed a pair of young girls staring back at them. The first had long blonde hair that fell down gracefully, with curls at the end. Her skin was pale white in color, glowing brightly under the sunlight. She wore a beautiful dress with puffed white sleeves and a crimson bodice. The skirt had various white designs, with either gold or white thread and a large crimson apple stitched onto the side of it. She wore silver-gray fish-net stockings, with red heels that had golden bows on them. Atop her head she wore a crimson bow, with a small glittering crown on it.
In contrast, the other girl was drastically opposite. Her dark hair was kept down, and she wore a violet tiara on her head, with tiny matching gemstones on it. She wore a dark violet dress with white sleeves, the bodice was black in color with violet designs on it. The skirt was lengthy, reaching slightly past her knees with several layers (The top being a feathery black shade). She wore silvery black stockings with matching violet heels. Last but not least, she wore dark eye shadow and violet lipstick, with a bit of make-up so her cheeks looked paler than normal.
Upon seeing the two girls before her, Pinkie Pie’s face instantly lit up.
“Oh… my… Faust!” She gasped excitedly. “It’s you! You’re the girls who inspired ‘Equestria Girls’!!!”
This caused the remainder of the group, including the two girls, to stare at the little pink party pony with such confusion.
“What are you talking about?” The dark-haired girl asked.
“Well, of course it wasn’t just you,” Pinkie continued. “There was also Monster High, Bratz, Enchantimals… though actually that came out ‘after’ Equestria girls… oh, and I think there’s even some elements of Barbie in there somewhere too! Specifically the ‘Dreamhouse’ edition.”
Okay, hold up! What is she even talking about?
Well, it’s true the previous series like Monster High and Ever After High inspired Equestria Girls. And Enchantimals ‘did’ come out later.
I thought those were just silly toy franchises or something.
Technically Monster High still holds up for a modern audience. They actually have this new movie they brought out to Paramount Plus recently.
Wow, that’s ‘really’ fascinating… can we go back to the story now?
Fine…
*Clears throat* Anyway… the two teenage girls kept looking at the little party pony until Twilight Sparkle stepped up.
“Please forgive my friend girls,” She apologized. “Sometimes what she says makes little to no sense, but she’s a great friend all the same. Allow me to introduce myself: I’m Twilight Sparkle, and these are my friends Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Spike.”
“Charmed!” Rarity bowed. “And who might the two of you be?”
“I’m Raven… Raven Queen,” The dark-haired teen answered.
“I’m Apple White,” The blonde added.
“So… how did you get mixed up with this crowd? The guards stumbled upon some underground tea party?”
“Trust me, we’re not ‘those’ kind of ponies,” Rainbow remarked. “Least ‘most’ of us… one minute we barely set a hoof in this country. Next thing we know… we’re chained up like strays!”
“Don’t worry, you get used to it after your first time,” Raven Queen assured.
“I guess so…” Spike nodded, then realized. “Wait! First time?”
While the two groups were talking, the Duloc Guards just loaded some fairytale creatures into cages, few of whom were gnomes. The line continued towards the Guard captain sitting at the desk, while the latest wagon was ready for transport.
“All right! This one’s full,” One guard announced. “Take it away! Move it along. Come on! Get up!”
“Next!” The guard captain yelled.
Amongst the latest fairytale creatures set to load, there was a group of seven dwarves, singing some form of chant. They were shackled together and forced to approach a wagon like a chain gang. All the while the guards tugged their chains harshly, talking down upon them as if they were no lower than a speck of dirt. One of the other fairytale creatures, a witch clutching a broomstick, was brought up by one of the villagers.
“Give me that!” One guard demanded.
He snatched up the broom and proceeded to snap it in half, much to the horror and sadness of the witch.
“Your flying days are over,” The guard declared.
“That’s 20 pieces of silver for the witch,” The guard captain paid the villager. “Next!”
Amongst the other creatures waiting in line, there was a Donkey on a leash dragged along by his owner, an elderly woman. The Donkey himself was gray, with brown eyes and a black mane. He looked on in horror as the witch and the group of dwarves were loaded into a wagon.
“Sit down there!” A guard ordered. “Be quiet!”
He soon peered over to another area where his eyes spotted a family of bears locked up. The Mama Bear and Papa Bear were locked inside the giant cages, the former tried to comfort the Baby Bear, who sat in his own cage crying.
“This cage is too small!” Baby Bear cried.
Seeing all this happening made Donkey more scared, especially for what’s to come for him.
“Please, don’t turn me in,” Donkey begged his owner. “I’ll never be stubborn again. I can change. Please! Give me another chance!”
“Oh, shut up!” The older woman snapped.
“Next!” The guard captain ordered. “What have you got?”
Mr. Geppeto approached placing Pinocchio on the table before the captain. This particular Pinocchio wore a yellow hate, white gloves, a white short sleeve shirt with yellow buttons, blue shorts with suspenders, white socks, and red Mary Jane shoes.
“This little wooden puppet,” Geppeto answered.
“I’m not a puppet!” Pinocchio protested. “I’m a real boy.”
The moment those words departed from his mouth, the little puppet’s nose grew to where it reached across the entire table, much to the bafflement of the nearby guards.
“Five shillings for the possessed toy,” The guard captain declared. “Take it away.”
“Father, please!” Pinocchio pleaded, as the guard dragged him away. “Don’t let them do this! Help me!”
But Geppeto merely took the money and walked away, not even looking back. Further back in line, the Mane Six and Spike, along with Apple White and Raven Queen, saw the whole exchange. They couldn’t believe their own eyes.
“Oh, that poor little puppet!” Fluttershy said sorrowfully.
“Thrown away by his own father,” Rarity sighed sadly.
“He may not be a real boy in most of the adaptations, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have feelings,” Pinkie protested. “Next thing you know, they’ll force the little puppet to fight for Benito Mussolini and the Italian Royal Army!”
“These guards don’t really care about feelings,” Raven told them. “To them, we’re all just trash to be disposed of.”
“But how does a pair of simply gorgeous girls like you wind up here in the first place?” Rarity asked curiously.
“That’s a very long story,” Apple White sighed.
“Can you girls work your magic?” Raven Queen asked.
“Even if we wanted to, we can’t!” Twilight answered. “These chains are embedded with some form of anti-magic preventing any of us from using our powers.”
“Thought so,” Raven Queen nodded in understanding. “If not for the chains, I’d be conjuring my own bit of magic to get us out of here. But these guards are prepared.”
“Wait… you have magic?” Spike asked.
“Don’t worry everyone,” Apple White assured. “We have a plan.”
“Next!”
The line proceeded to move forward as the older woman forcibly dragged Donkey to the table, to the Captain of the Guards waiting.
“What have you got?” The captain asked.
“Well, I’ve got a talking donkey,” The old woman answered.
“Right. Well, that’s good for ten shillings… if you can prove it.”
“Oh, go ahead, little fella.”
The old woman untied the rope around Donkey’s jaw and waited for him to speak before the Captain. But Donkey just stood before the captain, very silently and only staring at him. The Equestrian heroes and the two girls looked over from the back of the line, wondering what act of defiance this Donkey was even planning.
“Well…?” The captain raised his brow.
“Oh, oh, he’s just… he’s just a little nervous,” The old woman replied nervously. “He’s really quite a chatterbox…”
Growing irritated, the old woman smacked Donkey again trying to force him to talk.
“Talk, you boneheaded dolt, talk!” The old woman ordered.
“That’s it, I’ve heard enough,” The captain spoke. “Guards!”
“No, no, he talks! He does!”
Desperate, the woman grabbed ahold of Donkey’s lips moving it while performing some form of ventriloquism.
“’I can talk. I love to talk. I’m the talking-est damn thing you ever saw’.”
“Wow… that’s just sad,” Rainbow muttered under her breath.
“Get her out of my sight,” The captain ordered the guards.
“No, no! I swear!” The old woman begged. “Oh! He can talk!”
But the guards already grabbed hold of the old woman, dragging her away as she struggled in their grips. One of her legs flew out, kicking Tinkerbelle’s cage out of Peter Pan’s hands. In a matter of seconds, her cage dropped upon Donkey’s head, sprinkling him with fairy dust. Before everyone’s eyes, Donkey started floating upwards.
“Hey! I can fly!” Donkey spoke, amazed.
“He can fly!” Peter smiled, posing.
“He can fly!” The three pigs spoke in unison.
“He can talk?!” The guard gasped.
“Ha, ha! That’s right, fool! Now I’m a flying, talking Donkey!” Donkey announced. “You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain’t never seen a donkey fly. Ha, ha!”
“Go Donkey!” Apple White cheered. “Be free! Be free!”
“Whoo-hoo!” Fluttershy cheered quietly.
Unfortunately, the effects of the pixie dust slowly began to wear off and only then Donkey realized the severity of the situation.
“Uh-oh…” Donkey whimpered.
The donkey soon dropped out of the air and landed upon the ground with a big ‘thud’.
“We are definitely not in the Disney period…” Pinkie pouted.
“Seize him!” The captain ordered.
The guards lunged to grab Donkey, who quickly dodged their attempts to grab him.
“Somebody stop that donkey!” The captain ordered.
While all the chaos was happening before them, Raven Queen turned to Apple White.
“All right, do the thing!” Raven spoke.
With a nod, Apple White proceeded to look up toward the sky and proceeded to sing a few bars.
Apple White (Sings):
Ah, ah, ah! Ah, ah, ah!
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!
All of a sudden, a flock of birds swarmed from the trees out of nowhere and proceeded to crash into some of the guards, feathers flying all over the place. Then soon, a giant moose stormed through the forest bellowing loudly. The girls proceeded to lower their arms, widening the across the ground exposing a bit of the chain.
“Everyone, lower your arms!” Raven Queen called out.
The Equestrian heroes did just as they were told, spreading the chains out as far as they could. Then with a mighty bellow, the Moose reared up on its hind legs, raised his front, and proceeded to stomp the chains so hard that they broke. As the human girls broke free, the moose approached the Equestrian heroes and severed one of their chain links with his hooves. With the power of the anti-magical circuitry cut off, Twilight could feel her magic return and ignited her horn to remove the remainder off her friends.
“Now wut kind of magic was that?!” Applejack asked.
“That’s not magic,” Apple White replied. “Just years of community service for animal care paying off.”
“We got to go, now!” Raven Queen ordered, running ahead.
“What about the others?” Fluttershy pointed out.
But instead of an answer, Apple White ushered Fluttershy through the forest as Donkey finally broke away and followed the group. As they raced deeper through the forest, they could hear all the guards calling out in the distance.
“They’re getting away! Get them! This way! Turn!”
The group had just barely ventured deep enough through the rooms, when up ahead Donkey ran head-first into the backside of a creature. The Equestrian heroes and two girls skid to a halt and gasped at the sight of the creature, who turned around to see who bumped into him. Our heroes had never seen such a monster in their lives.
It was an ogre, very large, very tall, and fearsome in appearance, approximately twice the size of an average human. He had green skin and tube-like ears. And it’s wardrobe was… well it was clear he cared little for how it looked and just seemed comfortable. The ogre glared at Donkey and the group, who looked slightly scared for a moment.
“Hey! How you doing?” Pinkie smiled.
“I hear voices over here!” The captain called out.
“Uh-oh. Help a Donkey out, wouldja?” Donkey begged.
They quickly hid behind the ogre after spotting the guards catching up to them. The phalanx of armored guards rushed onto the scene, only to stop in their tracks upon the sight of Shrek.
“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!” The guards screamed, drawing their swords.
“You there… ogre!” The captain spoke terrified.
“Aye?” The ogre spoke.
“Step aside and let us have them.”
“Why? What did they do?”
“I-don’t-wanna-die- I-don’t-wanna-die- I-don’t-wanna-die…” Donkey begged.
“He’s a talking donkey, with talking ponies, two princesses, and… a lizard,” The captain argued.
“Dragon!” Spike and Twilight corrected in unison.
“Whatever… they are freaks of nature! As are you, you unsavory beast.”
“Please let me kick this guy’s butt!” Rainbow begged her marefriend. “It’ll be quick and painless.”
“I don’t reckon you have to,” Applejack assured. “Look…”
As the captain of the guard attempted to muster his courage, the ogre slowly approached the group of guards. All the others were visibly frightened by the mere sight of him.
“By the order of Lord Farquaad, I am authorized to place you all under arrest…” The captain stammered. “And… transport you to… a designated… resettlement… facility?”
“Under arrest?” Shrek remarked, smiling. “Oh, really? You and what army?”
The captain looked behind himself, seeing that all the other guards had abandoned him. Seeing the odds in their favor, the Equestrians gathered around the ogre as they smiled toward the captain. Shrek merely stood silently, gazing at him until…
“BOO!”
The captain gasped in pure terror, tucked tail and ran off into the woods.
“And don’t come back!” Shrek called out, shaking his head.
“Ha! That’ll teach him!” Rainbow smirked arrogantly.
The ogre himself just started to walk back into his swamp while the others looked after him. Donkey, impressed greatly by Shrek, followed his new hero. The Equestrian heroes and new allies proceeded to follow Donkey’s footsteps.
“Can I say something to you?” Donkey spoke. “Listen, you was really, really, really somethin’ back here.”
“Yeah, that was absolutely incredible!” Pinkie replied.
“Are you talkin’ to…”
Shrek turned around, but the Donkey and the others were gone.
“… me?”
Shrek had just turned back around, to continue his journey, when he gasped with a ‘Whoa!’ over Donkey and the others in front of him.
“Yes. I was talkin’ to you,” Donkey continued. “Can I tell you that you was great back there? Man those guards! They thought they was all of that. Then you showed up and ‘BAM’! They was trippin’ over themselves like babes in the woods. That really made me feel good to see that.”
“Oh, that’s great,” Shrek annoyed. “Really.”
“We really appreciate you standing up for us,” Twilight spoke up. “We’d still be prisoners if you hadn’t—”
“Oh good, I’m glad, now why don’t you go celebrate your narrow escape with your own friends?” Shrek suggested. “Hmm?”
“But, uh, I don’t have any friends,” Donkey answered.
“Now there’s a shocker,” Shrek replied, walking away.
“There’s no way we can go out there by ourselves now,” Fluttershy spoke worriedly. “Not with all those guards around.”
“Say, I’ve never seen you guys before,” Donkey realized. “You lost or something?”
“No, but we would appreciate figuring out the best routes around this Duloc place,” Rarity replied.
“Oh Duloc! I know Duloc!” Donkey smiled. “Oh, you gotta let me show you guys around, because I am like a GPS with fur!”
“That’s very kind of you,” Apple smiled. “But you did just escape from imprisonment.”
“We’ll be just fine on our own,” Raven concluded.
“But nobody’s fine on their own!” Donkey argued. “Not when you look like we do!”
All of a sudden, an idea just occurred to Donkey who turned toward Shrek’s direction.
“Hey, wait a minute! I got a great idea!” Donkey babbled, following Shrek. “We’ll stick with you.”
“What does he mean ‘we’?” Rainbow replied.
“You’re a mean, green, fightin’ machine,” Donkey continued. “Together, we’ll scare the spit out of anybody that crosses us.”
“Actually, Donkey’s got a point,” Pinkie replied. “Have you seen this place? It’s goin’ Stepford! We should join forces or they’re just going to lock us up again!”
“Tell me about it,” Donkey agreed. “I can not go back in a cage! I don’t know if I mentioned it or not, but I did six years in solitary for impersonating a pinata.”
“… I’m scared to ask why,” Applejack spoke honestly.
Finally fed up, Shrek slowly turned and regarded the motley little group for a moment…
“ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAR!!!”
The ogre roared loudly in their face, the girls cringing from its breath blown in their face. Donkey on the other hand…
“Oh, wow! That was really scary,” Donkey continued. “If you don’t mind me sayin’, if that don’t work, your breath certainly will get the job done.”
“You definitely need some Tic-Tacs or something,” Pinkie added. “I apologize in advance, but… WHOO! Your breath stinks!”
“And you girls complained about my morning breath…” Spike muttered.
Groaning in exasperation, Shrek tried to walk away. But suddenly, Donkey reappeared ahead of him, dangling from a fallen log.
“Man, you almost burned the hair outta my nose, just like the time…”
Shrek covered Donkey’s mouth, but the motor-mouthed mule just kept talking. Reluctantly, Shrek removed his hand…
“… then I ate some rotten berries,” Donkey continued. “I had strong gases leaking out of my butt that day.”
“Urgh… didn’t need to hear that,” Rarity groaned.
“Why are you following me?” Shrek asked, annoyed.
“I’ll tell you why,” Donkey answered.
Dropping himself from the log, he started singing…
Donkey (Singing):
Cause I’m all alone,
There’s no one here beside me.
My problems have all gone,
There’s no one to deride me.
But you gotta have friends…
“STOP SINGING!” Shrek shouted.
“Hmph… music hater…” Pinkie pouted childishly.
Impatient, Shrek grabbed Donkey by the ears and tail, pulled him aside, and dropped him before the group.
“Well, it’s no wonder you don’t have any friends,” Shrek grumbled.
“Um, excuse me Mr. Ogre sir,” Fluttershy spoke up meekly. “That wasn’t very nice.”
“Yeah, and that was a really catchy song,” Pinkie added. “I really wanted to hear how it ends.”
“No offense ladies, but you have to admit Donkey was getting a little heavy…” Spike replied.
“Spike…” Twilight warned.
“Sorry.”
But actually, the remainder of the heroes had to admit Shrek was thinking the same thought as they were. Now Donkey seemed like a good guy, no question about it. But neither one could deny how much they could tell he didn’t know when to stop talking… or be quiet. He was like a mule version of Pinkie Pie but without all her… randomness.
“Wow…” Donkey gasped, not upset. “Only a real friend would be so truly honest.”
“Hold on an apple minute there, sugar cube,” Applejack spoke. “It’s one thing to give an honest opinion, but that there’s no excuse for saying somethin’ mighty offensive.”
“Like you when you were the fashion judge,” Rarity spoke between laughs.
“Ah didn’t even want the job! Sheesh, you’re never gonna ferget that!”
“Listen little donkey!” Shrek interrupted. “And ponies… and people… and dragon. Take a look at me. What am I?”
“Ooh, I love guessing games!” Pinkie exclaimed excitedly. “Now lemme see…”
They all studied their savior from head to toe. Spike, Pinkie, and Rainbow forced themselves not to laugh at the grimace upon his face. Even though it was visibly angry, they found the ogre’s face… very funny.
“Really tall?” Donkey asked.
“Really green?” Pinkie asked.
“The missing link?” Twilight asked.
“A fat grump,” Rainbow blurted out.
Although Rainbow said it ‘jokingly’, that comment earned her a smack on the flank courtesy of her marefriend.
“Ouch!”
“No! I’m an ogre!” Shrek shouted. “You know—grab your torch and pitchforks! Doesn’t that bother you?”
But one look toward Donkey and the group, and the former merely shook his head with a smile.
“Nope!” He replied.
To say Shrek was surprised by that answer was quite an understatement. Even if he heard it, he still couldn’t believe it.
“Really?” The ogre asked.
“Really, really,” Donkey corroborated.
“Back in the kingdom we come from, we have friends that are ogres,” Apple White piped in. “Or more rather ‘half’ ogre, but they’re hexcellent company.”
“What kingdom did you girls say you were from?” Twilight asked.
“We didn’t,” Raven Queen shrugged. “We’ll tell you later.”
“Oh…?” Shrek nodded.
The ogre proceeded to face the ponies and dragon, who were just as surprised by Donkey’s response.
“What about you?” Shrek asked them. “You’re afraid of me, right?”
The Mane Six and Spike looked toward the ogre, then at each other. And then, they did something Shrek didn’t expect at all… they smiled upon looking at him.
“Oh no, you don’t scare us,” Twilight answered. “Pardon us for our reaction. It’s just that we never met an ogre before, certainly not where we come from. You just caught us by surprise, that’s all.”
“But it’s obvious you’re a good guy at heart,” Spike said.
“Ya did help us,” Applejack agreed. “That’s wut coutns.”
“Despite not even knowing us at all,” Rarity smiled. “Not that’s quite heroic I must say.”
“And so cool,” Dash added. “You’re not scary at all.”
“Not with those cute ears,” Fluttershy pointed out.
“We’re always glad to meet new friends, no matter what their race,” Pinkie rambled. “If we had a bit for every not-so-jolly-green-giant who turned out to be nice, but misunderstood, we’d have two bits… which isn’t a lot, but it’s surprising that’s happened twice.”
To say the least, Shrek was perplexed. Anyone who saw him or found out he was an ogre, they’d always run away from him or try to lynch him. But these creatures… not only were they unafraid of him, they were speaking to him with such a warmth he hadn’t felt for years… many years, actually. To him it was just so… strange.
“Man, I like you,” Donkey said. “What is your name?”
“Oh, that’s right!” Twilight Sparkle realized. “In all this excitement, we haven’t introduced ourselves. I’m Twilight Sparkle, and these are my friends: Spike, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, and Fluttershy.”
“I’m Raven Queen,” Raven added.
“And I’m Apple White,” Apple finished, facing Shrek. “And you are…?”
“Uh… Shrek,” The ogre introduced himself, still confused.
“Shrek?” Donkey raised a brow. “Well, you know what I like about you, Shrek? You got that whole, ‘I don’t care what anybody thinks of me’ thing. I like that, I respect that, Shrek. You’re all right.”
As Shrek continued on his way, the group trailed behind the ogre, sticking to him like glue. It was only a few seconds into the journey when they climbed the top of a hill, which overlooked Shrek’s home. Right in the very heart of the swamp.
“Goodness… talk about a fixer-upper,” Rarity critiqued. “Who’d want to live in a place surrounded by all this icky-muck?”
“That would be my home,” Shrek answered, annoyed.
“Ooh… and what a lovely home it is!” Rarity answered, chuckling in embarrassment.
“Nice recovery,” Applejack smirked.
“It’s just beautiful!” Donkey added. “You know you are quite a decorator. It’s amazing what you’ve done with such a modest budget.”
“You’d be surprised to find an affordable home in the current market,” Pinkie replied, facing a boulder. “Ooh! I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder… my sister’s little friend would love him.”
“Okay, you two!” Rainbow butted in. “I think you’ve milked it enough.”
As they followed the ogre, they soon noticed some ‘Keep out’ signs around Shrek’s house. Some of which had the ogre’s face painted on them, no doubt warning trespassers to stay away.
“So… I guess you don’t entertain much, Mr. Shrek?” Rarity asked curiously.
“I like my privacy,” Shrek answered bluntly.
“I understand how that feels,” Fluttershy answered quietly.
“You know, I do too!” Donkey chirped in. “That’s another thing we have in common. Like I hate it when you’ve got somebody in your face. You’re trying to give them a hint and they won’t leave. And there’s that big awkward silence, you know?”
There’s a moment of awkward silence as the ogre turned back toward the group. The ponies stood there scraping their hooves along the ground, while Apple White and Raven Queen eyed each other briefly.
“So…” Apple White spoke, breaking the ice. “Raven and I were just wondering…”
“Can we crash at your place, tonight?” Raven finished.
“Uh, what?” Shrek asked, aghast.
“Can we stay with you, please?” Donkey smiled.
“Only because we’re lost and most of us don’t know this land very well,” Twilight emphasized. “We’d just need somewhere to stay just until we can come to grips with what’s happening.”
“Yeah, come on, big guy!” Pinkie nudged Shrek’s arm. “It be like a really fun sleepover… please…”
Pinkie Pie proceeded to pull out the puppy dog eyes, while the remainder of the ponies and Apple White did pretty much the same. Shrek looked upon the group for a moment and then…
“Of course!” Shrek answered sarcastically.
“Really?” Spike asked.
“No. Goodbye.”
But Donkey, on the other hoof, was not giving up. And he had a means of convincing Shrek to change his mind.
After a lengthy song and Shrek staring down incredulously toward the group, as they leaned on their knees catching their breath…
“Okay! Okay!” Shrek spoke. “Look, you can come in—”
“Yeah!” Pinkie cheered, hysterically joyfully. “Woo-hoo, alright—”
“On one condition!” Shrek cut her off. “You keep the jabbering to a minimum.”
“You got it!” Twilight smiled, thankful. “Don’t worry, you will not regret this.”
“Too late. Now get in… but one night only.”
“Ah! Thank you!” Donkey sighed, running inside the hut.
“Hey! Wait for me!” Pinkie raced in.
“Ah! What are you… no!” Shrek called out.
But it was too late. Most of the group had already gathered inside the house looking around. Donkey made himself comfortably, hopping upon a cushiony chair.
“This is gonna be fun!” Donkey declared. “We can stay up late, swappin’ manly stories, and in the mornin’… I’m makin’ waffles.”
“Oh, I love waffles!” Apple White smiled. “Like with some pecan… or chocolate chips…”
“Say, I heard they recently added peanut butter chips!” Pinkie pointed out.
“They have?”
“Oh sure! Ooh! I remember when they used to serve these ‘Waf Fulls’, which is your typical waffle stuffed with strawberry or blueberry filling. Or you can keep it simple and fill the waffle with maple syrup. It’s too bad we never got to see the ad for ‘Apple Cinnamon’…”
“I have no idea wut yer talkin’ about,” Applejack answered honestly. “But I do admit it does sound pretty good…”
Shrek groaned with frustration, drawing the attention of everyone in the house.
“Sorry…” Twilight apologized. “Some of us just can’t contain our excitement.”
“So… since we’re going to chill here for the night, where do we sleep?” Rainbow asked.
“Outside!” Shrek pointed out the door, irritated.
“Ooh…” Pinkie’s mane dropped. “Bummer…”
“Oh, well, I guess that’s cool,” Donkey nodded understandingly. “I mean, I don’t know you, and you don’t know me, so I guess outside is best, you know.”
“Guess we’re roughin’ it out under the stars tonight,” Applejack declared.
“You mean sleeping… outside… in the swamp…?” Rarity asked slowly.
“Come along, Rarity,” Twilight spoke gently. “We may be guests, but he is our host. Whatever he prefers, we must respect it.”
“Right, so uh… here we go…” Spike spoke.
The group slowly made their way out of Shrek’s house one by one, as the ogre sternly watched them.
“Good night—” Fluttershy began.
*SLAM!*
Shrek slammed the door, shutting the whole group outside.
“… Shrek,” Fluttershy concluded, with a whimper.
“Well… we’ve met some really rude characters in our day,” Rarity replied. “But who does that Shrek think he is? Leaving us out to sleep on the dirt like common animals.”
“Uh Rarity… most of us are animals,” Applejack pointed out.
“I mean, I do like the outdoors,” Donkey replied. “I’m a donkey. I was a born outside. We’ll just be sitting by ourselves outside, I guess, you know. By ourselves, outside…”
“Uh… Donkey?” Apple White spoke up.
Donkey (Sings):
I’m all alone… there’s no one here beside me…
Raven Queen stared awkwardly at the scene but knew where this was going.
“Well… not that this hasn’t been fun,” Raven Queen brushed herself. “But I’m going to go for a little walk while the sun’s out.”
“Wait! You’re just going to go back out there?” Twilight asked, in surprise. “Even with all those guards?”
“What do you think all that commotion we stirred was about?” Raven replied. "Getting ourselves arrested was the only way for Apple White and I to get close enough to know why all the fairytale creatures of this land were forced out of their homes. Now we just need to do a stakeout to find out where they are taking them.”
“Plus, it’s better if Raven and I work together on this,” Apple White added. “Don’t worry… we won’t be gone long. We’ll meet back here later tonight, and I promise we’ll explain everything. You just make yourself comfortable… and we’ll be right back.”
The two princesses proceeded to walk down the path back toward the spot where they previously escaped.
“Oh… and one more thing!” Raven called out. “Don’t drink the water.”
A groan caused the ponies to turn back toward the murky pond. Spike’s purple face went green, and his eyes went wide, as he slowly lifted his face from the pond. He proceeded to slowly open his jaw, allowing all the water to spill out.
“Too late…” The teenage dragon mumbled.
Gotta like it when you see moments like this one
Oh, that’s definitely not good. Now, they have those chains to. Unless, Tirek had them on his hands beforehand. Or, it’s the same person that is providing those like in the last adventures they had
Love this
Me: (Drinking beer)
I still can't believe that Geppeto would do that. Guess even parents would sell their own kids for money.
You know you're not seeing a Disney movie when you see the most familiar fairytale creatures being locked up in cages, prepared to be transferred to who knows where? That... and the guy who kick-started dreamworks with new features like this had a HUGE beef against Disney. But onto the matter at hand, our heroes aren't even in this land for long when they are taken by the local authorities just by being out of the ordinary. Fortunately, they receive some help from some new allies: A pair of princesses from parts unknown, a motormouth donkey, and an ogre with quite a case of sociophobia.
And although reluctant, this green ogre and ultimate savior of the group did agree to let them stay around his property... least for the night. Least our heroes know there's safety even in the swamp. The guards wouldn't even dare to try to challenge an ogre given what they know of him. Now it's just a matter for our heroes to decide: Where do they go from here?
Amazing chapter! Very nice, that we see Raven Queen and Apple White as more special guest for this adventure.
Can’t wait, to see how their role will play out in this
Hold on a sec!....You brought these 2 characters from Ever After High as special guests?! Well I never. My little sister used to like this show and read some of the books based on it.
That was some first encounter. Only a minute in the new land and already the girls and Spike are wanted just for being what they are. And it's good they have two more friends outside Donkey and eventually Shrek once he warms up.
*Sees the downvotes*
Me: (Drunk) “Oh. You’re still here?” *HIC* (To the downvoters) “You listen to me, Mother f-ers! I’m no Toonwriter! I ain’t going nowhere, anytime soon. The next commentary is coming soon…SO BEAT IT!!!” *HIC* “You wanna job? Fine! You’re hired. NOW GET ME ANOTHER BOTTLE AND THEN FIRE YOURSELF!!!” *HIC*
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Me: (Slap) DOC, FOCUS!!!
I look at Zatanna, her arm was still shaking from the burn which has now began to scar. I pulled out some cream.
Myself: "Here, this will relieve the pain."
Zatanna: " Thanks. How was that man able to make fire and lightning? He didn't use any incantations and I've never seen fighting stances like those."
Dodger: The other guy was able to knock both of out by poking us, how?
Myself: "Those fighting styles come from a world I also visited. In this world certain people have the ability to manipulate the elements around them. Water, Earth, Fire, and Air, the first man is what's called an Firebender. Able to control fire with breathing and energy from the sun."
They listen as explained even about the lighting which was created from a sub-bending found only in Firebenders, and I continued to the other guy
Myself ( continued): " The other is what they call a non-bender who can't bend elements but has mastered Chi-Blocking. An ancient technique that has someone's chi blocked rendering the victim's muscles useless and temporarily disables a bender's abilities."
Silverstream: Duloc? That's an odd name for a territory.
Fleck: " Looks friendly enough. But knowing our luck they'll get to trouble at first chance. "
Tubby Nugget: " Pinkie! That is way too personal."
Fleck: "Told you!"
Mr. Squelch: " That is a Discriminative crime and illegal. What lord would arrest people because of their lineage?"
Lyra: How awful, this Lord Farquaad must be a really unhappy man.
Dr. Gangle: "Dose she have a lawyer?"
That certainly made all of us laugh. She must have the most horrifically disturbing dental record of Ponyville or even Equestria.
Lyra: " Huh???"
Bon Bon: " Who said that?
Audience: "Whoa!"
>>Next
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Me:"how beers did you had"?.
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Couldn’t have said it better myself, Doc
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Me: (Drunk) “My wife hits me harder than that…” 😭 “Why Rain Shine?”
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Me: (Drunk) “How many does it take to drown my sorrow? And how many does it take for me to Drunk Boxing to become the Drunken Master like my hero, Jackie Chan? Enough to throttle those knights before Tirek stuffed me in that barrel?”
Silver Shill appears.
Silver Shill: (To me) “Uh, Doctor? Are you okay?”
Me: (Drunk to Silver Shill) “Am I a doctor? NO I’M NOT! I’M NOT OKAY! What’s the matter? You guys deef or something?!” *HIC* “What’s a brony like me to do with secondary characters like you who don’t get enough development?” *HIC* “WHY CAN’T THE TV PRODUCERS just do their job right?”
Silver Shill: (Mutters to himself) “…What’s his problem?”
Me: (Drunk and rocking back and forth, weeping)
Silver Shill: “But, really, Doc….sir. Why are you drinking on a work night? And…why do you smell like barbecue? And…are you crying?”
Me: (Drunk) “Ancient proverbs: MIND YOUR BEESWAX!!!” *HIC* “And because…Rain Shine…that’s why…she fired me. She fired me out of our house… I put a bun in the oven and… AND SHE’S NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT! She turned to the Dark Side, went Nirik on me and…” *HIC* “She fired me, out of the house, and dumped me into a volcano, and FIRED ME OUT OF IT!!!”
Silver Shill: (Cringing) “Ooh! Ouch! That had to hurt…being kicked out by your wife and—“ (Double take) “Wait, what was that about a bun?”
Me: (Drunk) “AREN’T YOU LISTENING?!!! I just said it! Why did I even hire you to begin with?!” (Snatches another bottle from a random dude) “GIMME THAT!!!”
*Chug chug chug*
Me: “Blegh!” (Faints)
Silver Shill: (To me) “Okay. No more cactus juice for you, Doc….”
Silver Shill picks me up and drags me to a nearby sofa.
Silver Shill: “Looks like I’m gonna have to fill in for you, until you become sober again…”
Ever After High. Didn't see that coming.
I also just kind of realized some hidden humor behind whenever Donkey tries to get a song going. Basically he's trying to start up a Hakuna Matata-esque song in a flick that's pretty much the anti-Disney. Without musical accompaniment or anyone backing it up, it just comes off as awkward as it would in real life.
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I personally like MLP and Ever After High joining forces
Okay... Mattel characters meeting Hasbro characters. That's new.
And the Mane 6 and Spike will be in for a big surprise when the sun goes down! Well, Shrek would, anyway.
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Discord's Theatre, Galaxy Branch
Luke Skywalker: Our friends have arrived at their destination.
Cal Kestis: True, but the bigger question, is where?
Ahsoka Tano: I have a feeling we'll find out soon.
Sunset Shimmer: And where the heck was that kind of spell when I needed it the most?
Postwar: You still fuming over what happened?
Sunset Shimmer: More or less.
Sunset and Postwar laughed at Twilight's situation.
Postwar: I wonder why she doesn't just tell her, not all guys are capable of saying how they feel.
Postwar: Pff, figures.
Han Solo: They haven't even been there for five minutes and already they're being arrested.
Sunset Shimmer: Somehow, I get the feeling that it feels like a running gag for them.
Postwar: Uh, they're not fairytale creatures, they're based on a television series.
Sunset Shimmer: What?
Postwar: *shakes his head out of an unexpected sentence*, Whoa, deja vu.
Postwar: *slapped his forehead* seriously AJ, didn't you learn anything from your previous adventures.
Han Solo: He does have a point. Every time whenever we're in another world, we always get shot on the spot.
Leia Organa: That's because you owed them money over the years.
Han Solo: Hey, not my fault most equipment I needed for jobs are expensive when it comes to doing different jobs.
Postwar: He's not wrong. Trust me, I should know.
Postwar: To quote a miniature golfer, "Doh I can't believe those people are so...stupid."
Chewbacca growled in agreement.
Lando: I can't believe so many people are that dense.
Postwar: See, this is one of those fight first, ask questions later schticks.
Ahsoka Tano: It doesn't always work that way.
Postwar: Worked for Galen, didn't it?
Galen Marek: He's not wrong.
Postwar: *Looks at Leia* And besides, your mother would use something called, Aggressive negotiations.
Postwar: Pinkie, I know you mean well, but why don't you just shut up before you get them into real trouble?
Sunset Shimmer: Seriously. I like her, but she should learn to take things seriously every now and then.
Han Solo: Kind of like Chewie. *Chewbacca growls at him* Oh, don't give me that!! I haven't forgotten what happened that time when you wanted to snack on something and got us trapped!!
Sunset Shimmer: Whoa, I haven't seen them before.
Postwar: Yeah, neither did I, and that's a first for me.
Postwar: Oh yeah, I forgot about that.
Sunset Shimmer: What?
Postwar: Many of your worlds were created by Guardians. When one of the Guardians wanted to create another world, they looked at a few for inspiration, hence forth how Canterlot High and the others came to be.
Sunset Shimmer: *surprised look* That's...a lot to take in.
Postwar: Trust me, I felt the same way when I first started on my job.
Sunset Shimmer: So that's their names.
Postwar: Gonna have to make a note for that.
Sunset Shimmer: Yikes, these guys are almost as worse as the Empire.
Leia Organa: I know what you mean. Brings back to many painful memories.
Luke Skywalker: You can say that again.
Lando Calrissian: These people really don't know the meaning of the word mercy. I mean what did that lord guy, did to them?
Ahsoka Tano: People like them never give a straight answer.
Postwar: Never underestimate a lady whenever they make plans. *The girls then voiced in agreement*
Sunset Shimmer: The what?
Postwar: It's another universe. Let's just say, the man who created it...it's world's magic is more powerful than you can ever imagine.
Sunset Shimmer: You've been there?
Postwar: I have. It was...awesome.
Sunset Shimmer: Wow, and I thought Rarity did crazy things at the mall on Black Friday.
Postwar: *shivers*, not something I wanted to see again.
Leia Organa: Whoa, who is that?
Postwar: That would sort of be the hero of the story.
Han Solo: That's supposed to be a hero?
Postwar: They come in different shapes and sizes. As well as genders.
Han Solo: Which they could've just done from the very beginning.
Postwar: I know, right.
Galen Marek: He's got real nerves of steel, I'll give him that.
Cal Kestis: Could've used his help against the Empire in certain situations.
Postwar: If he was willing to help. I mean half the galaxy from the inner and outer rims would rather surrender than go to war.
Leia Organa: He's not wrong there.
Postwar: Ugh, that Donkey is really annoying. This is why I'd prefer Pinkie talking instead of him.
Sunset Shimmer: How come?
Postwar: Well, for one thing, she has a cute bubbly voice. And that's a compliment.
Sunset Shimmer: *giggles*, I'm sure Pinkie would like that.
Sunset Shimmer: *groans* speciesism. The worst kind.
Luke Skywalker: I assume that you have a few of those too?
Sunset Shimmer: *rolling eyes* You have no idea.
Lando Calrissian: He's not that big on company, is he?
Postwar: Folks like him prefer isolation. Trust me. I...know that better than most.
Sunset held his arm in sympathy, knowing that what he went through was very hard.
Han Solo: And I thought Erving from human resources was annoying.
Lando Calrissian: Tell me about it, he won't shut up about anything either.
Postwar: She's got a point Rarity. AJ may have nearly botched up the thing, but it was your dumb plan to add a girl with no fashion sense into the scene.
Sunset Shimmer: Wow, that really is dumb.
Postwar: *Laughs out loud, gaining their attention* Sorry, It's just that they're kind of right about the grump part, and the smack that Rainbow earned.
Ahsoka Tano: I'm impressed actually. He's received what he never gained in a long time.
Postwar: A feeling I know all too well.
Postwar: More like sugarcoating it with marshmallows, chocolate, cinnamon and cheesecakes. *Earned confused looks from the others*, what, it's true!!
Galen Marek: And people think I'm a grump.
Postwar: Hmm, and why is that, do you think?
Galen Marek: What?
Postwar: Well, you did spend your time as Vader's errand boy and became the biggest grump in the galaxy.
Cal Kestis: You know, he does have a point.
Sunset Shimmer: Oh, wait till I get my hands on...!!!
Postwar: Do not make me bring up your embarrassing naked story!!
Sunset immediately blushes and sat back down, not wanting to relive that embarrassing moment again.
Postwar: Good thing we didn't have breakfast.
Sunset Shimmer: Ditto on that.
Leia Organa: You have to admit, those two have spirits.
Han Solo: Like you ever since you got involved with Politics.
Leia Organa: No argument here.
I am surprised that you didn't do the joke/insult that Shrek did when they called him hideous but he thought they were talking about Donkey.
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That's later in the movie. During the tournament thing. Just want to point that out.
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We’re not even at that point yet
Great second chapter! And so fast so soon. Right when I had plans to see Puss In Boots 2! Perfect timing! Cant wait to see more. Thats the interesting thing about Shrek. Sure he's gross and grumpy, but he could have easily thrown the ponies donkey and girls under the bus but he didn't. Shows the ogre cares in his own little way. It's sweet Fluttershys taking a slight liking to him. I also wasn't expecting Ever after High charecthers (Never saw the series) to be here but I'm curious to see what you'll do with them! Pinkies new Pinocchio Joke was hilarious to. (I remember seeing the movie and yeah that specfic plot point just got so dark so fast)
Future G5
Discord Memorial Cinema
<<previous
Me: (Scottish accent) Ooh, hoo hoo~! A magical forrrrrest!
Izzy: It’s like Bridlewood! Except with more nature and less crystals…but it still looks beautiful!
Sunny: It does!
Me: For 2001, computer animation certainly came a long way in a decade.
Zipp: Duloc?
Pipp: What kind of a name is Duloc?
Izzy: The name of the land they’re in, of course!
Zipp: (sarcasm) Of course.
Me: For me, the name sounds like a mockery of Old English.
I buried my face into my hands.
Me: Christ Almighty.
Zipp: Yeah…can’t be a coincidence that you’re spending so much time with the only male alicorn who happens to be your age.
Izzy: Maybe they’re study-buddies!
Me: And therein lies the setup to the main conflict: (with mock enthusiasm) DISCRIMINATION!!! What a classic!
Sunny: What?!
Hitch: As far to my knowledge, the only crime they committed was not paying for the damages back in Gotham!
Sunny: Hitch!
Hitch: But since this isn’t Gotham, they have no grounds to arrest them!
Me: Don’cha just hate when the people in power have no patience for negotiation?
Izzy: Hey…didn’t that happen to us before, Sunny?
Sunny: I…think so?
Zipp: I was there too, Izzy.
Pipp: So was I!
Zipp: I know, Pipp.
Izzy: And I think Hitch did the same thing.
Hitch: Hey!
Izzy: As did Sprout.
Sprout: Aw, c’mon!
Me: The black market would be my best guess.
Zipp: I think this has been one of the worst starts to an adventure for them so far.
Pipp: I’d say the last one was the worst.
Me: Don’t worry it gets better.
Sunny: Are all of those fairy tale creatures?
Me: Yep. You got witches, dwarves, elves, gnomes, Peter Pan selling off Tinker Bell the fairy, Geppetto selling off his wooden boy, Pinocchio, and the Three Little Pigs.
Zipp: Seriously? What does this Farquaad guy have against these guys?
Me: What did Earth-Ponies have against Unicorns and Pegasi, and vice versa two times over, hmm? Yep, that’s what I thought.
Me: Gee, I wonder why?
Izzy: Why?
Me: Because Pinkie prefers to eat sweet junk food over healthy glucose food, thereby further risking herself of coming down with diabetes.
Me: You’re just lucky you grew up in a world without racism.
Sunny: Okay, that was a bit harsh.
Me: (confused) Huh?
Me: What in the—? What are they doing here?
Zipp: Being carted off because they’re fairy tale creatures?
Pipp: Yeah, I thought that was obvious.
Me: No, I get that part. I’m just confused as to why they’re in this movie when they weren’t in the original. (sighs) But that’s just me needing to stop asking redundant questions.
Tinny: They certainly look beautiful!
Red: (thoughts) I like how their choice of dress compliments both of their facial looks.
Me: As to who they are, I recognize them from somewhere I just can’t pin it.
Zipp: Huh?
Me: Yes, please enlighten me. I’m dying from the tension.
Zipp: Okay, hold up! What is she even talking about?
Me: Okay, stop the projector!
The projector then whined to a halt.
Me: Okay, let me explain: those two you’re seeing with the Equestrians are in fact from another toy line franchise known as Ever After High: essentially it’s a high school setting but with the children of famous fairy tales.
Izzy: So…they’re living toys?
Tinny: They don’t look like toys to me.
Me: No, those are just the characters of the toys they were based on. Personally, I’m more attracted to Monster High out of the others, if only for how much I’m anxious to see a crossover between that and the likes of Tim Burton, but that’s just me.
Zipp: You’re giving us more questions than answers.
Me: Actually, out of all those toy line franchises, it was Monster High that held up more than the others. (shrugs) I understand why: goth is cool.
Crickets.
Sunny: Wow, that’s…really fascinating.
Pipp: So…you know who those two are?
Me: I never followed Ever After High…so no. There is a reason why I never follow toy lines.
Hitch: So can we go back to the movie now?
Me: Sounds like a good idea. Roll Film!
I thought about this new info for a bit, channeling back to my limited knowledge of the franchise, before chuckling to myself.
Sunny: What’s so funny?
Me: It’s because I do know them: Apple White is the daughter of Snow White and Raven Queen is the daughter of the Evil Queen from the classic fairy tale: Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. In it, the jealous Evil Queen poisons Snow White with an apple to become the “fairest in all the land!”
Zipp: And…?
Me: The joke is that the descendants of two mortal enemies are best friends.
Izzy: Ooh! Well, that’s nice of them!
Zipp: I was gonna say that!
Hitch: What?!
Sunny: How?!
Tinny: How dare they!
Red: (thoughts) What reason could those girls have that warranted in their arrest? Aside from simply being who they are?
Me: Been around the block on the chain gang will do that to ya. Probably been moved from one prison camp to the next, or something like that.
Me: (chanting) Heigh-Ho! Heigh-Ho! It’s off to prison we go~!
Me: Even the Three Bears. Probably turned in by Goldilocks.
Hitch: They separated the child from his parents?! How evil!
Sparky: (angrily blowing raspberry)
Hitch: Don’t you dare!
Izzy: The donkey can talk?!
Me: Uhuh, he sure can.
Me: (with Geppetto) This little wooden puppet. (with Pinocchio) I’m not a puppet! I’m a real boy.
Me: (laughing) His nose grows every time he lies! His one wish is to become a real boy.
I was laughing so hard in my seat.
Hitch: What’s so funny about a father selling his own son?!
Me: (calming) It’s funny because it’s a twist on the fairy tale. Don’t worry, he’ll be fine.
Me: (darkly) Don’t even think about it!
Sunny: Please! Do something!
Me: I’m quaking with anticipation.
Me: (with the Captain) What have you got? (with Old Woman) Well, I’ve got a talking donkey. (with the Captain) Right. Well, that’s good for ten shillings… if you can prove it. (with Old Woman) Oh, go ahead, little fella.
Zipp: Probably shouldn’t have threatened him to shut up earlier.
Me: (with the Captain) Well…? (with Old Woman) Oh, oh, he’s just… he’s just a little nervous. He’s really quite a chatterbox…
Me: (with the Captain) That’s it, I’ve heard enough. Guards! (with Old Woman) No, no, he talks! He does!
Me: (with Old Woman) ‘I can talk. I love to talk. I’m the talking-est damn thing you ever saw’.
Zipp: (laughing) You said it!
Hitch: I’ll admit: that was funny!
Me: Yes! You’re finally laughing! Ehem: (with the Captain) Get her out of my sight. (with Old Woman) No, no! I swear! Oh! He can talk!
Me: (with Donkey) Hey! I can fly! (with Peter Pan) He can fly! (with Pigs) He can fly! (with the Captain) He can talk?!
Zipp: Haha, take that!
Izzy: Fly away, Donkey! Be free!
Me: (with Donkey) Ha, ha! That’s right, fool! Now I’m a flying, talking Donkey! You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain’t never seen a donkey fly. Ha, ha!
Me: (with Donkey) Uh-oh…
Me: Uhuh, and what was your first clue?
Izzy: It’s too bad donkey’s don’t have magic! Uh…did they?
Me: If you mean the magic of life and sentience, at least by Equestria’s standards, then yes.
Izzy: Oh, okay.
Me: (with the Captain) Seize him!
Sunny: Whatever you’re gonna do, do it fast!
Me: (impressed) She certainly takes after her mom, that’s for sure.
Izzy: That’s so cool! Why can’t you do that, Pipp?
Pipp: Uh…because I’m not really a nature mare?
Izzy: Well, you can do a tag team with Hitch then!
Me: (to Reader) I’m not baiting anything. That’s left up to your imagination.
Hitch/Pipp: Community service?!
Haven: What business does she have with community service?
Me: I think I can see why, and yet I don’t see why.
Zipp: What are you talking about?
Me: Shut up and watch the movie.
>>next
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Sorry, I’m thinking of the Musical Show.
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Thanks, I got mixed up by remembering a bit from the Musical Show of Shrek.
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It's okay. You're doing fine with the commentaries. We all have our critics, believe me. You just take your time.
I hope you and Rain Shine kiss and make up soon.
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Me:"do I need to get a bucket of water and ice to make you come to your senses, Phantom"?.
Nice job. New friends made and a new story begins!
<<Previous
Canterlot Mall Theater, Discord's Branch
Applejack: Looks like they made it safely (she mentioned)
Rainbow: Yeah, I wonder where they’re at? Seems, like they’ve at some forest of somekind
Sci-Twi: Well, that is very useful spell to have
Arctic: Indeed, so that means they’ll know exactly where they’re at from this point forward
Arctic: (chuckled a bit) To be fair, you both do hang out together on occasions
Pinkie: (giggles softly) Yeah! You, should say something if you like someone.
Arctic: Indeed Pinkie (he said to the party girl as he looks over seeing the look Rarity giving him) yeah, I know I see the irony of it (he whispers to the fashionista feeling a bit embarrassed)
Rarity: (she just grinned seeing this and giggles softly)
Fluttershy: O-Oh no (she said worried)
Rainbow: Come on! (She said with a bit of frustration) They, just got there and getting arrested already!
Arctic: Sadly, it is never that easy when they get to a new world (he said)
Sci-Twi: (sighs) Why, why is it there’re people can be this dense and not listen
Arctic: Honestly, I’m not sure myself Twi
Rainbow: Why didn’t they just let pony mr fight?! It would’ve been easy, and before they could put those chains on
Fluttershy: B-But, that would make things worse
Arctic: She is right, that’s why she was stopped and the Princess wanted to talk things out without resorting to violence
Rainbow: (Grumble a bit) And look where that got them (she said softly)
Pinkie: Noooo! Not the dentist! Anything but that!
Rarity: My word, they look outstanding! Who, might they be? (She questioned)
Arctic: My my, didn’t expect to see them in this (he said in his thoughts)
Sci-Twi: So, that’s their names. (She said) they’re lovely ones (she mentioned with a little smile)
Rarity: I agree Twilight (she said towards her)
Fluttershy: Those poor creatures (she said sadly) How can they be so cruel
Arctic: Just, how they are. Not caring for others well being
Sci-Twi: Oh, I like the sound of that (she said)
Arctic: You and me both (he said agreeing with a grin)
Fluttershy: Go Donkey! He free (she said with hope seeing he has his chance to expect)
Arctic: Wait for it..(he said knowing what’s about to come)
The girls wince a bit as Fluttershy gasp worried seeing him fall on the ground
Pinkie: So close (she said)
Applejack: The fella had a good chance of escaping to without being caught
Sci-Twi: They escape. That’s good for them.
Fluttershy: I-I hope they can save that Donkey, and hopefully the others to (she said hopefully)
Arctic: Here he is, are hero of this adventure
Rainbow: That’s the hero of this? (She questioned)
Rarity: Not to be rude, but doesn’t seem like one
Arctic: True, but you should never judge someone by their looks. Remember the last adventure with scarecrow (he said as he notice the group shivered a bit on what happened last time)
Rainbow: Yeah! Kick their butt me!
Applejack: Honestly, they’re judging people by their looks just because they’re different. That’s just not right
Arctic: Couldn’t agree with you more Applejack. (He mentioned to her)
Applejack: Well, he sure is a tough one. (Seeing the nerves of steel he has)
Rainbow: ha! Look at them running
The girls stare on at this as they hear donkey talking and slowly start to share the same look
Pinkie: Wow, his sorta..well
Rainbow & Arctic: Annoying? (They both said at the same time)
Fluttershy: His..not that bad (she said softly not wanting to admit donkey was a tad bit annoying)
Arctic: Yeah, I should probably mentio, he isn’t the type of person who likes company
Pinke: That’s no fun, he should know that having some people around would be lots of fun! (She said with a happy grin)
Arctic: Yeah, not gonna lie not the smartest move she made (he said)
Fluttershy: they’re really cute (she said softly with a smile)
Sci-Twi: Plus, he did save them so he can’t be all that bad
Arctic: (couldn’t chuckle a laugh a bit from this) Classic, gotta love that reference and the many times it gets used
Rainbow: Very close save there. Though, I’m sure are Rarity would be the same (she said with a chuckle)
Rarity: (looked away a bit embarrassed)
Rainbow: Still gonna be Grumpy (she said)
Fluttershy: I’m sure, he’ll get use to them
Applejack: Either that, or be not as grumpy
Sci-Twi: Well, she does have a point
Rarity: Still! He could’ve at least have them sleep inside or even provided anything (she protested)
Fluttershy: Poor Spike (she said softly)
Sci-Twi: Well, hopefully they’ll get a goodnight rest. And, seems like they got some allies at that. Be nice, to know more about then as well
Arctic: Well, guess will find out how things will turn out.
Next>>
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He's not a doctor.
<<previous
Me: The last time we saw our intrepid heroes, they had just been released from their shackles from their new friends Raven Queen and Apple White and are now being chased through the forest by the guards. Also, they brought along they’re new friends and Donkey.
Izzy: Oh, Shrek! Thank hoofness you’re here! Please, you gotta help them!
Me: And so here comes the fateful meeting with the titular ogre, looking grouchy as ever.
Me: (pondering) Hmm…this could mean something…
Izzy: I KNOOOOOOOOOOOW!!! IT’S SHREEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!
Sunny: Izzy, we know. You don’t have to scream.
Izzy: Sorry!
Me: (with the Captain) You there… ogre! (with Shrek) Aye?
Hitch: Lizard?! How dare you!
Izzy: Hey! They’re princesses just like you, Pipp and Zipp!
Zipp: I know. I kinda figured.
Izzy: (gasps) Really?!
Pipp: Yes, Izzy. Really, really.
Izzy: Okay!
Zipp: I’m sorry, what did you just say?
Pipp: They’re in for it now!
Me: (with the Captain) By the order of Lord Farquaad, I am authorized to place you all under arrest… And… transport you to… a designated… resettlement… facility? (with Shrek) Under arrest? Oh, really? You and what army?
The majority of the audience was in stitches from that.
Zipp: They ran away like a couple of little fillies! HAHAHAHA!!!!
Me: Oh, how I love slapstick humor!
Me: I think shaking his hand would be more appropriate…and funny.
Me: (with Donkey) Can I say something to you? Listen, you was really, really, really somethin’ back here.
Me: (with Shrek) Are you talkin’ to…”
Me: (with Shrek) …me?
Sunny: Where’d they go?
Zipp: Hello! Where’d they come from?
Me: (with Donkey) Yes. I was talkin’ to you. Can I tell you that you was great back there? Man those guards! They thought they was all of that. Then you showed up and ‘BAM’! They was trippin’ over themselves like babes in the woods. That really made me feel good to see that. (with Shrek) Oh, that’s great. Really.
Me: (with Shrek) Mow why don’t you go celebrate your narrow escape with your own friends? Hmm? (with Donkey) But, uh, I don’t have any friends.
Izzy: Ooh~!
Me: I was right.
Me: For sure, brotha.
Izzy: I hear that!
Me: (with Donkey) Hey, wait a minute! I got a great idea! We’ll stick with you!
Me: You’re a mean, green, fightin’ machine. Together, we’ll scare the spit out of anybody that crosses us.
Izzy: Hey! That’s just like—!
Zipp: Yep! Yep, yep, yep, yep! We know who you’re talking about.
Haven: How rude!
Izzy: Well, that wasn’t nice.
Pipp: What was that for?!
Me: (with Donkey) Oh, wow! That was really scary. If you don’t mind me sayin’, if that don’t work, your breath certainly will get the job done. (with Pinkie) You definitely need some Tic-Tacs or something.
Me: (with Pinkie) Your breath stinks!
Izzy: I like Donkey! He’s funny!
Me: (with Donkey) Man, you almost burned the hair outta my nose, just like the time…”
Me: (with Donkey) …then I ate some rotten berries. I had strong gases leaking out of my butt that day.
Pipp: Ew~!
Haven: Goodness! Does he never know when to stop talking?
Alphabittle: It’s kinda funny really. The stuff that just spills out of his mouth.
Me: (with Shrek) Why are you following me? (with Donkey) I’ll tell you why.
Me: (with Donkey) (Singing):
Cause I’m all alone~,
There’s no one here beside me~.
My problems have all gone~,
There’s no one to deride me~!
But you gotta have friends…
Me: (with Shrek) STOP SINGING!
Izzy: Aw, but I liked it!
Me: (with Shrek) Well, it’s no wonder you don’t have any friends!
Izzy: Hey! That was mean!
Zipp: This ogre must really hate people.
Me: (with Donkey) Wow…Only a real friend would be so truly honest.
Me: I’m just glad that I forgot that episode ever existed.
Sunny: Why’s that?
Me: Simply put: an apple farmer is one of the least adequate candidates for judging fashion. (with Shrek) Listen little donkey!
Me: (with Shrek) Take a look at me. What am I?
Which was shared by some members of the audience.
Alphabittle: (guffawing) That’s too rich!
Haven: Alright, I will admit, some of the humor in this movie is starting to grow on me.
Me: (with Donkey) Really tall? (with Pinkie) Really green?
Posey: When did youth start becoming crass to their elders?
Me: (with Shrek) No! I’m an ogre! You know—grab your torch and pitchforks! Doesn’t that bother you?
Me: (with Donkey) Nope!
Izzy: Me neither!
Me: (with Shrek) Really? (with Donkey) Really, really.
Me: (with Shrek) Oh…? (myself) I guess that makes sense.
Pipp: I can’t stop feeling similarities between Apple White and Raven Queen and ourselves, Zipp.
Zipp: (dismissive) Cool.
Izzy: (smiling adorably) Aw, their smiles are adorable!
Sunny: (happily giggling)
Sunny: See, Shrek? They just want to be your friend! Isn’t that nice?
Me: (with Donkey) Man, I like you. What is your name?
Me: (with Shrek) Uh… Shrek. (with Shrek) Shrek? Well, you know what I like about you, Shrek? You got that whole, ‘I don’t care what anybody thinks of me’ thing. I like that, I respect that, Shrek. You’re all right.
Izzy: Well, that wasn’t very nice.
Me: (with Shrek) That would be my home.
Me: (with Donkey) It’s just beautiful! You know you are quite a decorator. It’s amazing what you’ve done with such a modest budget.
Izzy: It’s the perfect environment for unicycling!
Pipp: Maybe~ just leave me out of that swamp. And swamps in general.
Me: (with Pinkie) I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder…
Me: (with Shrek) I like my privacy.
Me: (with Donkey) You know, I do too! That’s another thing we have in common. Like I hate it when you’ve got somebody in your face. You’re trying to give them a hint and they won’t leave. And there’s that big awkward silence, you know?
Pipp: (sing-song) Awkward~!
Zipp: Yep.
Me: (with Shrek) Uh, what? (with Donkey) Can we stay with you, please?
Izzy: AAAAaaahhh!!! (hugging Sunny) THEY'RE SO ADORABLE!!!! No one can resist the awesome power...OF PONY ADORABLE AND CUTNESS!!!
Zipp: I get that enough from Pipp.
Pipp: Hey!
Me: (with Shrek) Of course!
Me: (with Shrek) No. Goodbye.
Izzy: What?! Hey, he cheated!
Me: Aha! I knew it!
Zipp: (startled) What? Knew what?
Me: This version of the movie incorporates elements from the Broadway Musical adaptation of the original film.
Sunny: Is that a bad thing?
Pipp: In most cases, a stage production of an already existing IP generally doesn’t favor well with audiences or critics.
Me: Well, in this case there’s an exception.
Izzy: Are you gonna sing?
Me: Nah, I haven't memorized this particular song enough to do so. It’s still enjoyable though.
Zipp/Haven: (with Rarity) What?!
Sunny: That was…really catchy!
Izzy: I LOVE IT!!
Sparky: (babbling, applause)
Zipp: Wouldn’t “Coffee” make more sense than “Diabetes”?
Me: They both make sense rhythmically, it’s just that “coffee” is less disgusting to think about.
Izzy: Bleagh!
Me: (with Shrek) …but one night only. (with Donkey) Ah! Thank you!
Me: (with Donkey) We can stay up late, swappin’ manly stories, and in the mornin’… I’m makin’ waffles.
Izzy: Waffles?! I LOVE waffles!
Zipp: Eh, I’m okay with both pancakes and waffles.
Izzy: Really? I wanna try!
Zipp: Oh, no there’s two of them again!
Posey: (sneers) They’re not exactly being polite houseguests, are they?
Me: (with Shrek) Outside!
Izzy: What?! Why?!
Hitch: Well, I can’t exactly fully blame Shrek on this one.
Pipp: Why is this guy our main character?!
Me: People say that alot about characters, myself included.
Izzy: Yeah! You could build a mud hut!
Pipp: Ew, gross! No way!
Zipp: Yeah, I’m with Pipp on this one.
Sparky: Wo~ow!
Posey: Good riddance!
Sunny: Hey!
Me: Knock it off, Sunny. It’s not worth it.
Tinny: (indignant) Well, at least you’re living. Us inanimate objects are treated even less than you guys!
Me: (with Donkey)
I’m all alone… there’s no one here beside me…
Zipp: This is just sad.
Hitch: At least they’re not loitering around.
Me: (to Reader) I’m not gonna tell them. Don’t you even think about it either.
Zipp: Uh…huh?
Hitch: Ugh! Don't look, Sparky! It's not meant for young eyes!
Haven: That is disgusting!
Pipp: I’m gonna be sick myself!
Me: (chuckles) Maybe some of you don’t find it funny, but this movie shows you how to do gross-out humor right. Besides: we’re just getting started.
Tinny: Does he always talk like that?
Red: (thoughts) Sometimes.
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*With the shock chips taking care of the gold fever creatures, I sit in a seat with Sonata sitting next to me and order her a nice taco related treat*
Sonata: *thanks for helping me out, Hunter.
Hunter: It's what a friend does.
This chapter is a riot, so many laughs when they ran into Shrek, im liking the two new ladies, i remeber them from a post way back when and they were driven away from their home, much anticipation for more stupendous chapters XD
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*During the film, Sunset received a message from me telling her that Discord called her a bigger idiot than him*
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Me:"where do I get a bucket of water and ice around here"?.
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Meanwhile, back in Ponyville
Sonata Dusk was still running for her life, with all the greedy ponies and creatures hot on her tail, for a shot of the 24/7 Championship Belt.
Sonata Dusk: (While running) "For realsies, these guys are like seagulls!"
Greedy mobs: "MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE!"
Sonata Dusk: (Pauses for a moment to ask the readers) "Have any of you ever had an experience like this?" (Resumes running for her life, then pauses again to break the fourth wall...again) "While I'm busy running for my life, and my belt, let's see what our friends are up to!"
Meanwhile, back at Discord’s Theater
Silver Shill: "Uh...hi everyone! Unfortunately, due to some...difficulty, relating to the aftermath of the recent attack and...some other issues I'd rather not disclose right now, Mr. Phantom-Dragon will not be your host for now. I will be substituting for him until he is well. Now please, sit back and enjoy the show, and feel free to order the foods for dinner."
Discord's Cut
They're not the only ones. Somewhere nearby...
Wallflower & Juniper: (Falling out of the portal) "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"
*CRASH*
Juniper Montage: (Gets up and rubs her head) "Ow, my head... Talk about dropping in, huh Wallflower?" (Looks to her left, then to the right, to find Wallflower is missing) "Wally? Hey! Wally?"
Wallflower Blush: (Face in the ground) "You're standing on me..."
Juniper Montage looks down to see she was sitting on Wallflower's back.
Juniper Montage: "OH! Sorry, Wally!" (Helps Wallflower up, when they suddenly found themselves surrounded by knights)
Apple Bloom: "Wow! Looks about as perfect as a place to go camping!"
Big Mac: "Eeyup."
Luster Dawn: "Amazing! What kind of spell is that?"
Stygian: (To Luster Dawn) "Just something our beloved prince helped her with." (Gestures to Storm Shield)
Moon Dancer: (Takes notes) "I need to learn a spell like that!"
Audiences: "Oooh!"
Daring Do: "Hmmm! That would definitely come in handy. Helps to avoid the unwelcoming places." (Remembers a few time where she almost got roasted, after getting captured by some unfriendly natives)
Trixie: 😏 "Hmmmmmm...."
Skeksis: (To Trixie) "Hmmmmm..." (Just kidding)
Flurry Heart: (Singing) "Auntie Twilight and Storm Shield
Sitting beneath a tree
K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"
Capper Dapperpaw: "And there goes the mood..."
Silverstream: "Arrest? For what?"
Big Mac: "Nope."
The Audience: "WWWHHHHAAAAAAAATTTT?!"
Sweetie Belle: "OH COME ON!!!"
Starlight Glimmer: "That's absurd!"
Princess Celestia: "That's the most ridiculous decree I've ever heard!"
Princess Luna: (To Storm Shield) "Is this what Order 66 was like?"
Scootaloo: "KICK THEIR BUTTS, RAINBOW DASH!"
Big Mac: "Ee...maybe."
Tempest Shadow: "Uh, from where I'm standing, it's definitely a situation to throw hooves!"
I Told You So Dance
Glitter Drops: (To Tempest Shadow) "Was the I Told You So Dance really necessary?"
Tempest Shadow: (To Glitter Drops) "Yup!"
Starlight Glimmer: "Hmmm. First, John Seed, then Ra's al Ghul, and now these guys? That can't be a coincidence!"
Starswirl the Bearded: (To Starlight Glimmer) "I agree. They're all connected somehow...by one supplier. But who?"
Scootaloo: "Uh...how soon can we call Phoenix Wright?"
Apple Bloom: "Ooh! And can we also get Athena? Maybe Apollo and Trucy Wright too? I like them!"
Sweetie Belle: "Me too!"
Discord's Cut
Meanwhile, back with Juniper and Wallflower, the two Equestria Girls were also in a knightly pickle of their own, upon arrival.
Knight: "Arrest these traitors for committing the act of witchcraft by falling from the sky!" (All the knights draw their swords and spears and pointed them at the two girls)
Juniper Montage: "Whoa, there! Let's all calm down and...and...talk this over."
Knight: "SILENCE HEATHENS!" (Slashes his sword at Juniper, threateningly)
Juniper Montage: "WHOA!" (Narrowly dodges the sword) "Hey! THAT is TOTALLY UNCALLED FOR!" (Whips out her wand) "I've got a wand! And I'm not afraid to use it!"
Wallflower Blush: (To Juniper) "Uh...know any spells?"
Juniper Montage: 😓 (To Wallflower Blush) "Uh...do you?"
Wallflower Blush: "D'oh!" (Facepalm) 🤦
Knight: "SEIZE THEM!!!"
With that, the knights all charged in and jumped on both Wallflower and Juniper to arrest them. Thankfully, however, the knights...aren't exactly the sharpest tools in the shed and...
Wallflower Blush: "Pssst! Juniper! Over here! This way!"
Juniper Montage: (Manages to follow Wallflower and escape the attacking knights, unnoticed) "Phew! That was a close one! How do you do that?"
Wallflower Blush: (Shrugs) "Sometimes, it pays to be invisible, I guess... Now let's go!"
Juniper Montage: (Follows Wallflower) "Yeah. What a bunch of morons."
After the girls had left, the knights just kept on pummeling, until...
Knight: "Wha-huh? STOPPP!!!" (The knights stopped their antics and stepped back to reveal the girls were nowhere in sight) "Where'd they go?!? Huh? You! Bert! Ernie! Did you see them? Did anyone?"
Unfortunately, for the knights...they're all clueless as to where the girls ran off to.
Knight: "Uh...crud. They got away!" (Panics and sweats under his helmet) "Lord Farquaad's not going to be happy about this!"
Next>>
Wow, the characters of ever afther High i don't wait It.
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So far, Sonata seems to be keeping ahold of the belt. Though, she is right about them being like greedy seagulls
I sure hope Phantom will recover in the meantime. Good thing Silver Shill is here to cover for him.
And, meanwhile Juniper and Wallflower are in some trouble of their own. Sure hope, they’ll be ok while avoiding any trouble as best as they can
We started out well, more or less like when they started their adventure in Batman: Caged. At least now Twilight knows a couple of tricks so she doesn't have to wonder where they are all the time... and to spend more time with her boy ... her friend! Just friends! (For now ). This world will be from fairy tales, but fairy tale creatures don't seem to have a happy life.
But there is no evil that doesn't come for good. The girls and Spike meet Donkey and the magical teens Apple White and Raven Queen, the daughters of Snow White and the Evil Queen, but that didn't stop them from being friends (hopefully they aren't the two ones who traveled with Tirek to this world). But the encounter with the protagonist: Shrek, a lonely ogre with little patience, but who doesn't like bullies. Pinkie has a point when comparing him to the Grich, the two are very similar. Sadly, The Grinch at least have his dog Max; but Shrek is all alone, and they haven't done well to break into his house like that. I say, I don't approve of Shrek's behavior, but I wouldn't be happy if I invited someone to come to my house and they started running through it. At least he's let them stay, and that's progress (not kidding). Little does Shrek know though that these ponies, girls, and dragon are just the beginning of the end of his "peaceful life".
In writing or on film, the humor of this first meeting always puts a smile on my face. A nice touch to put the songs from the musical, and I'm really happy to know that my suggestion has helped, if only a little, to make this chapter, and thanks to Mr. Dramamaster too for all his work.
Poor Spike. But anyways. Mr.E, when you and Dramaster are ready, bring in the cookie!
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<<Previous
Discord's Cut
After they escaped from the knights, Wallflower Blush and Juniper Montage kept on running, until they were certain to have escaped to a safe distance.
Wallflower Blush: (Looks behind a tree) "I think we've lost them." (Turns to Juniper Montage) "Really? Threatening them with magic when you don't know any spells? When was the last time you studied from Hogwarts's textbooks?"
Juniper Montage: (To Wallflower Blush) "I'm sorry, Wally. I was so caught up in the moment, I...I just...I wasn't even thinking. I forgot!"
Wallflower Blush: "Hmph. What was it that Yoda said? We must unlearn what we have learned? What does that even mean?"
Juniper Montage: "Nevermind that." (Looks around at their surroundings) "Where are we? And what kind of adventure are we looking for anyway?"
The two girls proceeded to search their surrounding areas, until Wallflower finds something most shocking.
Wallflower Blush: (Turns to Juniper) "Hey, Juniper? Come over here!" (Waves for Juniper to look)
Juniper Montage: (Eyes widened and her glasses slipped) "Omigosh!"
Sweetie Belle: "Oh those poor creatures!"
Lil'Cheese and Gemstone broke down crying, with every other kids in the room.
Pound Cake: "This is just messed up! Peter Pan ratting out Tinker Bell?"
Pumpkin Cake: "Or Mr. Geppetto selling Pinocchio? His son? For money?
Diamond Tiara: "I miss the days when Pinkie Pie was telling us fairy tales with her own twists...even if one of them has Spike as the Beast."
Gabby: (To Diamond Tiara) "Spike as the Beast from Beauty and the Beast?" (Immediately pictures Spike in the same blue tuxedo worn by the Beast during the famous ballroom dance and swoons lovingly) *Sigh* "How much bits do I have to charge Rarity to make me a golden ballgown?" 💕
Gallus: (Gestures to Gabby) "There she goes again..."
Silverstream: (Flirting) "Oh, like you haven't been thinking about me any better?"
Gallus: "Touché." (Shares a kiss with Silverstream)
Smolder: (Groaning) "UGH! Get a room you two!"
Discord's Extra Cut
Wallflower Blush: (Sees the Equestrian Heroes) "HEY! Juniper, look!"
Juniper Montage: (Follows Wallflower Blush and sees the Equestrian Heroes) "Omigosh, omigosh, omigosh! Princess Twilight and friends! They're here too!"
Pinkie Pie's dentist: (Angry scowl) "No I don't!"
Luster Dawn: "Who are they?"
Moon Dancer: (To Luster) "I don't know. But we're about to find out."
Silver Shill: "Huh?"
Mina: "What?"
Crazy Steve: "What the WHAT?!"
*Awkward Crickets SFX*
Igneous Rock: "That's my girl..."
Cloudy Quartz: "Mine too..."
Maud Pie: "She's Pinkie Pie. Nuff said."
Limestone Pie: "Anybody got a problem with that?"
Marble Pie: (Disagreeing) "Mmmm-mmm."
Big Mac: "Eeyup!"
Marble Pie: "Mmmm-hmmm!"
Cheese Sandwich: "And that's my wife!"
Ember: "Oh, great. They've got even longer, weirder names than Twilight Twinkle and Glim-Glam."
Starlight Glimmer: (To Ember) "My name is Starlight. Starlight!"
Ember: (To Starlight) "Which sounds a lot like Twilight."
Starlight Glimmer: (Rubbing her head) "Ugh! Why do I even bother?"
Smolder and Norberta were actually having a tea party in Discord's Theater, when the girls brought it up, and they looked up, wondering if they somehow know.
Sweetie Belle: "This just makes me sick to watch! All those poor fairytale creatures being treated so harshly..."
Discord's Cut
It was also during this moment when Wallflower Blush and Juniper Montage decided to take actions.
Wallflower Blush: (To Juniper) "We have to free Princess Twilight and her friends! C'mon!" (Takes out her wand and was about to go, when Juniper stopped her)
Juniper Montage: (Pointing to the other cages) "But what about the other creatures?"
Cheese Sandwich: "Well, they ain't singing 'Heigh-ho. It's home from work they go...'"
Silverstream: (Gasps in shock) "Oh the poor witch!"
Smolder: "That's like taking a candy from a baby!"
Discord's Cut
Both Juniper Montage and Wallflower Blush exchanged shock from seeing this.
Juniper Montage: "That's awful! That's like losing your friend and watching them die in front of you!"
Wallflower Blush: (PTSD Flashback of her failure to save Sunset Shimmer in the Galaxy) "Don't have to tell me twice..."
Cranky Doodle Donkey: (Outraged) "That's cruelty to donkeys! I DEMAND JUSTICE FOR DONKEYS!!!"
Matilda: (Calming Cranky) "Now sweetie, let's not lose our hair..." (Realizes her comment) "Uh, what I mean is, Twilight and her friends will take care of it."
All the sad moms in the Theater: "Aw!"
And the grumpy dads: "Poor kid!"
Discord's Cut
Juniper & Wallflower: (Hugging each other for comfort) "Aw..."
Cranky Doodle Donkey: "JUSTICE FOR DONKEYS! I DEMAND JUSTICE!"
Ember: "Uh...what was that?"
Sweetie Belle: (To Ember) "That's Pinocchio's cross to bear. He can't tell a lie. Because if he does, then his nose will grow long."
Big Mac: (Laughs to himself) "If Applejack had that kind of magic when she was young, then her nose would be very long."
Apple Bloom: "Oh, that poor puppet!"
Tender Taps: "Thrown away by his own father."
Cheese Sandwich: (Angry) “He may not be a real boy in most of the adaptations, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have feelings,”
Tender Taps: "Hey! That's what we said!"
Cheese Sandwich: "MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY!!!"
Cheese Sandwich: "...Well...half of my thoughts, to be precise."
Silverstream: "Oh, I'm sure it's gonna be a great story!"
Terramar: "Let's order a pizza to pass the time then." (Rings a bell) "Excuse me? Waiter? Can we get this NYC-Styled Pizza? Please?"
Capper Dapperpaws: "Sad, but true..."
Big Mac: "Eeyup."
Tempest Shadow: "I've had my share with that, when I was employed by the late Storm King..."
Discord's Cut
Wallflower Blush and Juniper Montage both found this out the hard way, in their attempt to free some of the creatures.
Wallflower Blush: "Alohomora!" (Frustrated to see the unlocking charm not breaking the lock on a cage) "Ugh! Are you kidding me?"
Juniper Montage: "Maybe you said it wrong."
Wallflower Blush: (Turns to Juniper Montage) "I didn't say it wrong! I've been studying these spells a lot more than you have."
Juniper Montage: "I've studied!"
Wallflower Blush: "Then you've got a better idea?"
Juniper Montage: (Walks over to check the chains and locks) "Hmmm." (Sees a label) "Made from Misthaven." *GASPS*
The Student Six: "They have magic?!"
Starlight Glimmer, Trixie, Moon Dancer, and Luster Dawn: "They've got magic?!"
Crazy Steve: "THEY HAVE MAGIC?!"
Silver Shill: "Is there an echo in here?"
Sunburst: "Why didn't you just say so in the first place?"
Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Hey lady! Us donkeys have our own freedom of speech!"
Big Mac: "Eeyup..."
Crazy Steve: "HE CAN FLY!!!"
Scootaloo: (Looks glumly at her own wings) "Yay for him..."
Big Mac: "Eeyup."
Crazy Steve: "YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!"
Crazy Steve: "Ugh! You should've quit saying witty things before you flew!"
Mina: "I'm sure, Dr. PhD would've enjoyed that..."
Discord's Cut
Juniper Montage: "We have to save that donkey! C'mon!"
Both Juniper and Wallflower quickly ran off to save the donkey, when Wallflower suddenly trips on a tail, belonging to a prisoner inside a cage.
????: "OW! My tail!"
Wallflower Blush: (To the prisoner) "Oh! I'm-a...I'm so sorry! I–I–I–" (Stutters on her words in horror)
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????: "What are you sssssstaring at?"
Wallflower Blush: "Uh, n-n-nothing. I was just–"
????: "Come to ssssstare at me? A hideousssss monsssssster, sssssuch assss myssself?"
Wallflower Blush: NO! No, no! I wasn't...I mean...
????: "Go away!" (Slithers into a corner of her cage) "Leave me alone! I've had enough looks of disssssgusssssstsss and fear for a lifetime. And it'sssss very long..."
Wallflower was about to turn and leave, but stopped to look at the prisoner.
Ember: "Oh no. Don't let this be another musical, like The Greatest Showman...."
Starlight Glimmer: "Now that's angry birds!"
Sweetie Belle: "I hope the three pigs are alright."
Ember: "Oh yeah! NOW we're talking!"
Bulk Biceps: "YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!"
Discord's Cut
Juniper Montage sees this all happening and gets the idea.
Juniper Montage: "Huh." (Picks up a rock and uses it to smash a lock to pieces, freeing the prisoners) "Go on! Go! Cry freedom!"
Knight: (Running towards Juniper) "STOP IN THE NAME OF LORD FARQUAAD!!!"
Juniper Montage: (Points her wand) "Rictusempra!" (Fires a jet of silver light at the knights)
The knights were blasted off their feet and were sent flying backwards.
Juniper Montage: "Huh. I could've sworn, Cho Chang told me that was tickling charm..." (Turns around to see Wallflower Blush, trying to open a cage) "Hey Wally? How does–"
Wallflower Blush: "JUNE! HELP ME OPEN THIS CAGE!"
Juniper Montage: "Stand back, bestie." (Takes out a hair pin) "I may not have my uncle's keys anymore. But I still know my locks..." (Proceeds to pick the lock, opening the cage) "There! You're free as a...a...a...a...a..." (Screams and jumps into Wallflower Blush's arms) "YOU DIDN'T TELL ME WE WOULD BE FREEING A MON–OOMF!!!"
Wallflower Blush: (With her hand covering Juniper's mouth) "I wouldn't go there. She's very sensitive..."
Discord's Cut
Juniper Montage: "HEY! Wait for us!" (Runs after the group with her own group following)
Discord's Cut
At the same time, Juniper Montage and her party had arrived onto the scene and were just as shocked to see the creature.
Juniper Montage: "What the what?! What is that?"
????: "That'ssss an ogre. One of the foulesssst and fearssssssome creaturesssss to roam the land...besssssidessss me that isssss."
Apple Bloom: "Oh no...him again."
Diamond Tiara: "Sir Stinks-a-Lot with no Personal Hygiene..."
Sweetie Belle: (Puts her hooves together and pleaded) "Please don't eat my sister and her friends!"
Discord's Cut
Meanwhile, Juniper and her party hid in some bushes to avoid being seen. And the third member pulled her tail in to avoid being trampled.
Cheese Sandwich: "Nothing."
Crazy Steve: "NOTHING WHATEVER?!!!"
Cheese Sandwich: (Yells back in Crazy Steve's face) "NOTHING WHATEVER!!!"
Ember, Smolder, and every dragons in the theater: "DRAGON!!!"
Discord's Cut
????: "SSSSStory of my life..."
Tempest Shadow: "Hmmmm. Not so tough without your friends now. Are ya?"
Big Mac: "Eeyup."
Bulk Biceps: "YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!"
Next>>
3,218 words left.
The next part will be due tomorrow.
Behind the Scenes: Casting
Nicolas Cage was initially offered the role of Shrek but he turned it down because he did not want to look like an ogre.
Chris Farley was initially hired to voice Shrek, and he had recorded nearly all of the dialogue for the character, but died before completing the project. A story reel featuring a sample of Farley's recorded dialogue was leaked to the public in August 2015.
DreamWorks then recast the role to Mike Myers, who insisted on a complete script rewrite, to leave no traces of Farley's version of Shrek. According to Myers, he wanted to voice the character for two reasons
After Myers had completed providing the voice for the character over the course of 1999 and the film was well into production, a rough cut was shown to him in February 2000.
Myers asked to re-record all of his lines with a Scottish accent, similar to that his mother used when she told him bedtime stories and also used for his roles in other films, such as So I Married an Axe Murderer and Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me. According to the DVD commentary, he had also tried using a Lothar of the Hill People accent and a Canadian accent.
After hearing the alternative, Katzenberg agreed to redo scenes in the film.
Myers disputed the cost, saying "it didn't cost the studio 'millions of dollars'," as rumored.
Because of Myers voicing the character, more ideas began to come. There were clearer story points, fresher gags and comedy bits.
Another person planned to voice a character in the film was Janeane Garofalo, who was set to star alongside Farley as Princess Fiona. However, she was fired from the project for unexplained reasons.
Um, am I the only who is slightly bothered of that puppet fight and Mussolini? Why would Pinkie even say that?! What next? Tea party with Hitler and Stalin?
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Oh God! Please no....Hmm, Although a hangout with Hitler and Stalin could be a bit fun. Meh, I'll bite my chances with it.
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Looking forward to seeing how the rest of it will go
HAHAHAAA!!!! A Looney Tunes reference. CLASSIC!!! I did not expect Pinkie to say that. I think this whole chapter blew my mind away with laughter!! That was great! And hilarious!!
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You do realize your gonna end up doing Kung Fu Panda right?😁😁😁😁😁
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We can neither confirm or deny any plans for Kung Fu Panda at this time. Please restrict all film talk on the subject at hand while this project is in production. Do I have the okay?