The rays of the morning sun shined upon the cliff side as Princess Fiona finally emerged from the cave she inhabited the night before. Walking out of that very cave, the princess glanced toward the entire group who were still sleeping. Deciding to let them sleep in, she wandered off into the woods (a la Maria in ‘The Sound of Music’). She made her way Snow White-like through the forest, marveling at the nature that surrounded her and began to sing.
During the song, a blue bird flew toward a nearby branch to join in her song. The bluebird proceeded to whistle about, as the princess smiled and waltzed over belting ‘Hooray’ at a higher note. As the princess hit higher and higher notes, the bird twitted back struggling to not only keep up with her but mimicked her tune. Every challenging note, the bird strained to tweet higher. So overjoyed, Fiona sang louder and higher, holding that last horrible note. The bird trembled, its eyes bulged, it started to shake and convulse, while Fiona held her note…
*POP!*
The bird exploded in little blue feathers, nothing but its little legs perched upon the branch. Fiona was startled at first, eyeing guiltily toward the eggs the bird left behind in the nest. But then she shrugged and carefully picked up the three eggs, placing them in her basket. She only turned around very briefly when she noticed a deer, a buck, nibbling on some berries. She flitted over to it and sung.
Fiona twirled the deer right off a cliff (‘Oops!’). Having accidentally ripped off his antlers, she ditched them off the side.
Suddenly, a rat scurried past Fiona from her left toward her right (‘Huh.’). Intrigued, she spied another rat flying across (‘Hmm…’). And just then, Pinkie Pie skipped on playing a pipe flute. Eventually, she collapsed along the ground completely exhausted.
“Hoo-wee… I got to lay off the sweets!” Pinkie sighed.
“Why, good morning Pinkie Pie!” Fiona greeted.
“Oh, good morning princess!”
“What are you doing?”
“I saw a bunch of rats following this Pied Piper guy a few nights ago when we first got here. I’m trying to get them to follow me, but… I can’t quite get the tune right.”
“I think you may need to change your tune,” Fiona suggested, offering her hand. “May I have a try?”
“Well, okay!” Pinkie replied, handing the flute. “But I should tell you it took me years and years of practice before I was able to—”
But of course, Fiona played the flute expertly. Pinkie Pie watched this in disbelief as soon the forest was suddenly swarmed by a whole line of rats. Delighted, Fiona proceeded to join the dancing vermin as a big tap break took place between the princess and the rats.
At one point, Pinkie Pie proceeded to put on some funky 3D film glasses and the whole world transformed around Fiona and the rats. From Pinkie’s perspective, the rats were shifted into man-sized forms in hats and coattails. Fiona danced along with them, as Pinkie Pie was taken aback. But soon, Fiona’s teaching Pinkie the correct tune, which she caught on and soon even the party pony was dancing with the rats.
The Ever After High girls soon wandered on, watching all the insanity and completely agog. They stood silently as Pinkie Pie lead the rats out over the following verses…
Fiona held her arms outstretched, soaking up the sun and the glorious morning as Pinkie Pie returned and put the flute deep in her mane. It was then they finally saw the stunned Ever After High girls.
“Oh, why good morning, girls!” Fiona smiled.
“Mornin’,” Madeline answered, slightly concerned.
“Princess, did you by any chance eat a few of those funny little mushrooms by the stream?” Ashlynn asked.
“Of course not,” Fiona chuckled. “I’m just happy that it’s a new day, full of promise and fresh starts!”
The girls exchanged looks, then turned toward Pinkie Pie, who merely eyed the girls and just gave a sheepish shrug.
“And the first thing I’d like to do is apologize for my behavior yesterday,” Fiona added, regretfully. “We obviously got off on the wrong foot, and I’d like to make it up to you.”
“You would?” Apple raised her brow.
“How?” Raven asked skeptically.
“Well…” Fiona began nervously.
<>
A short while later…
Fiona was now frying the bird eggs over the campfire using a rock skillet to heat them up. The Ever After High girls helped with the additional arrangements, and just as the rest of the group slowly stirred away. The smell of the food aroused their senses, the majority taking note of Fiona. Meanwhile, some muttering drew the ponies to look at Donkey, who apparently was talking in his sleep.
“Mmm, yeah, you know I like it like that,” Donkey spoke drowsily. “Come on, baby. I said I like it…”
Everyone and every pony else eyed him strangely for a moment.
“What kind of dream is he having?” Rainbow asked, quirking an eyebrow.
“Quite frankly, I don’t wish to know,” Rarity answered disgusted.
“You’re probably right,” Rainbow nodded. “I’ve had similar dreams about me and A.J., like this one dream… uh, never mind.”
“Donkey, wake up,” Shrek shook Donkey.
“Huh? What?” Donkey groaned tiredly.
“Time to wake up, Donkey,” Fluttershy added gently.
Donkey slowly woke up, stretching his tired limbs before finally acknowledging everything going on around him.
“Good morning!” Fiona greeted kindly. “Umm… how do you like your eggs?”
“Oh, good morning, Princess!” Donkey greeted happily.
“What’s all this about?” Shrek asked.
“Yeah, I mean no offense or anything, but yesterday you were kind of a brat,” Spike voiced his honesty.
“Kind of?” Applejack chuckled.
“Not the time guys!” Twilight scolded, facing Fiona. “However, I do somewhat agree, Fiona. What brought about this change?”
“You know, we kind of got off to a bad start yesterday and I wanted to make it up to you,” Fiona responded. “I mean, after all, you did rescue me.”
Fiona got up and set the eggs in front of the three boys.
“Uh, thanks,” Shrek thanked awkwardly.
Donkey sniffed the eggs and licked his lips.
“They do look pretty tasty,” Spike admitted.
“And for the rest of you,” Fiona continued. “I’ve gathered a basket of berries for the trip, and I made you each a daisy chain!”
Fiona proceeded to present the ponies and Spike with their daisy chains.
“Oh my, look at these!” Rarity marveled. “They’re beautiful, princess. Aren’t they beautiful, Rainbow Dash?”
“Uhhh… ihhhhh…” Rainbow cringed.
Rainbow Dash wasn’t alone with this scenario. Shrek was also given a daisy chain, and from the looks of his face, he wasn’t entirely sure what to do with it.
“You’ll grow to love ‘em, hun,” Applejack assured.
“And to make sure you don’t go hungry, we all pitched in and made blueberry pancakes,” Apple announced, presenting the dishes.
“Wait… Fiona cooked ‘three’ eggs for the boys,” Twilight pointed out. “How were you able to make the pancakes?”
Raven merely quirked her eye toward the alicorn princess and gestured with a hand as dark magic sprouted like an ignited flame.
“Oh… right,” Twilight smiled sheepishly.
“Well, eat up,” Fiona told them. “We’ve got a big day ahead of us.”
Fiona walked off, seemingly in a better mood than yesterday. Everyone else couldn’t help but eye one another with confusion.
“Is she on some new happy medication or something?” Raven asked.
“I’m not really sure,” Apple responded. “But she’s more pleasant, that’s for sure.”
“If it’s not Joy medication, maybe she really needed a good night’s sleep for once,” Pinkie smiled. “Whenever I get super sleepy, I’m a real grumpy pants and my family speaks from experience. Either that…or I wasn’t eating enough sugar. Speaking of which, I’ll definitely need some after finishing these pancakes.”
“I can help with that!” Maddie piped in.
Maddie picked up her little purse and proceeded to pull out an entire tea table. She then took off her tiny hat and pulled out her tea set and a series of miniature cakes and scones. She proceeded to pour two cups of tea and Pinkie happily hopped over to join her for tea.”
“Seriously, how do they do stuff like that?” Spike asked.
“Probably best we don’t know,” Briar responded.
<>
Later that day, the group departed from the cliff side and now made their way through a forest en route to Duloc. Shrek proceeded to release a large belch, much to the disgust of most of the group.
“Shrek!” Donkey scolded loudly.
“Honestly darling, must you be so uncouth constantly?” Rarity cringed in disgust.
“What? It’s a compliment,” Shrek reasoned. “Better out than in, I always say.”
This caused him to chuckle, while the others merely shook their heads.
“Well, it’s no way to behave in front of a princess!” Donkey scolded quietly.
“Much less a group of young ladies,” Ashlynn added.
“I burp all the time back at school,” Cerise shrugged. “Don’t know what you guys are complaining about.”
“You’re a different kind of young lady, Cerise,” Raven chuckled.
All of a sudden, Fiona released a large belch of her own. The whole group stopped in their tracks, staring at her in shock.
“Thanks,” Fiona smiled, before walking on.
“Well… that was certainly unexpected,” Fluttershy spoke, in shock.
“She’s as nasty as you are,” Donkey commented to Shrek.
“And certainly not what you’d expect from a princess,” Twilight nodded.
“Come on, Twi, I’m sure even Princess Celestia has her moments like this,” Rainbow protested.
Twilight couldn’t even begin to imagine Princess Celestia ever doing something un-princess like. However, there was at least one moment Twilight ‘did’ remember…
<>
Canterlot Castle…
Twilight Sparkle was invited to share dinner with Princess Celestia. Then all of a sudden, Celestia made a face prior to her last bite.
“Could you please excuse me, Twilight,” Celestia spoke.
Before Twilight knew it, she watched as her teacher excused herself to another room and the pupil sat wondering for what purpose. Then, all of a sudden, a massive belch echoed back toward the dining room and the ground shook beneath her hooves.
<>
Present time…
“Like I said…” Twilight cleared her throat. “Not what you’d expect at all.”
“Right…” Raven smirked, then faced Fiona. “So, Princess, do you often frolic with rats?”
“Wait, what?” Fluttershy lifted her brows.
“And what if I do?” Fiona replied.
“Well, I don’t know how else to say it, Princess,” Apple piped in, uncertain. “You know – germ-infested vermin – not exactly what any of us expected.”
“Well, maybe you shouldn’t judge people before you get to know them,” Fiona smiled knowingly, walking off.
“Huh…” Spike nodded impressed. “You know… you say that only because deep down you’re more than just that traditional fairy tale princess you’re trying to make yourself out to be.”
“Definitely no Disney princess, that’s for sure,” Pinkie joked.
“Alright, yuck it up,” Fiona smiled, nodding. “Doesn’t bother me. Not today. After a lifetime of misery, things are finally going my way.”
“Oh, a lifetime of misery, right,” Shrek chuckled. “Okay—”
But even as they continued to stroll alone, Fiona wasn’t letting the exchange go.
“You chuckled,” Fiona spoke bluntly.
“I’m sorry?” Twilight apologized with confusion.
“Not you… him. When I said, ‘lifetime of misery’, he chuckled.”
“Did I?” Shrek asked coyly.
“Yes.”
“Look, before we start anything, I’m sure it was very difficult living in a dragon-guarded tower,” Apple reassured. “My friends and I understand what that’s like.”
“It was.”
“We’re positive,” Raven added.
“Alright then,” Fiona spoke, turning to go.
“Although, it must’ve been nice to have a roof, and a cozy bed,” Shrek voiced his opinion. “Which is more than I had when I left home.”
“You’re not actually comparing yourself to what I endured?” Fiona questioned intensely.
“I’m just saying you don’t corner the market on unhappy childhoods.”
“There are things you don’t know, ya know,” Fiona argued defensively. “About me. About how rough I had it!”
*Stop at 3:20… please*
“La liberte! HEY!”
Suddenly from out of nowhere, a man swung down and swooped Fiona away.
“Princess!” Shrek exclaimed in shock.
“What the hex was that?” Raven asked.
The princess and the unknown man landed upon a limb high in the trees. The man was none other than Monsieur Hood, also known as… Robin Hood. The man in green tights himself. Fiona broke away from Hood, who’s hand was around her waist.
“Oh! Wait, wait – what are you doing?!” Fiona exclaimed.
“Be still, mon Cherie, for I am your savior!” Monsieur Hood boasted. “And I am rescuing you from this green…”
Hood brought Fiona’s hand to his chest, then carpeted Fiona’s arms with kisses as she pulled back in disgust.
“… beast.”
From down below, the Ever After girls looked at each other.
“Is it just me or does he remind you of Sparrow?” Ashlynn asked.
“If I’m guessing correctly, he’s supposed to be this realm’s Robin Hood,” Raven replied. “So, that would make him Sparrow’s… father?”
“Well, he certainly shares Sparrow’s cockiness and arrogance,” Cerise spoke truthfully.
“I personally think he’s more like Daring,” Briar added. “So egotistical, so conceited, very full of himself… but still… a Charming…”
Monsieur Hood’s smile was met only with annoyance from Fiona, much to his confusion.
“Hey!” Shrek yelled. “That’s my princess! Go find your own!”
“Please, monster!” Monsieur Hood yelled back. “Can’t you see I’m a little busy here?”
Fiona gave Hood a one-handed push, jamming her finger into his chest.
“Look, pal, I don’t know who you think you are!” She said angrily.
“Oh! Of course!” Monsieur Hood smiled. “Oh, how rude. Please let me introduce myself.”
He cupped his hands and called to the woods:
“Oh, Merry Men!”
Down below, Pinkie once more felt a rather familiar sensation.
“Ooh… shaky legs!” She smiled brightly. “That’s three musical numbers in this whole chapter!”
“Oh great…” Rainbow groaned.
Suddenly, accordion music began to play… not from a certain party honey with the funniest haircut, but rather Friar Tuck on a swing. Out from the bushes popped the Merry Men themselves, the ‘literal’ Men in Tights. And they began to sing along with Monsieur Hood.
The Merry Men jump into some form of river-dance, Irish step, dance break of sorts while Monsieur Hood poses for a rather disturbed group.
Fiona, still up in the tree, looked down toward a musical sequence slowly turning dark. Her expression shifted from confusion to horror in a matter of seconds, as the Equestrians and Ever After the girls stepped in Shrek’s defense as Monsieur Hood pulled out his dagger by the final verse.
*BAM!*
Fiona swung down from the tree limb and kicked Monsieur Hood, sending his head colliding with a rock and knocked him unconscious. She landed with a back flip before the stunned group.
“What-the-WHAT?!” Rainbow’s eyes widened.
“Man, that was annoying!” Fiona sighed, agitated.
But while Shrek looked on in admiration, with everyone else staring in shock, the Merry Men were furious.
“Why, you little—”
One of the Merry Men fired his arrow toward Fiona, who quickly ducked out of the way. The arrow, along with several others, flew past few and towards the group. Donkey leapt into Shrek’s arms to get out of the way, while the rest ducked for cover, though the arrows pierced Applejack and Maddie’s hats toward a tree.
Fiona, meanwhile, displayed her martial arts skills as she barreled toward the archer. Before the Merry Man could retrieve another arrow, Fiona rammed him with a series of quick fists he could neither block nor dodge until one slam of her fist sent him flying. Another Merry Man tried to ambush from behind, only for Fiona to deliver a few back hands to the chest, then the head, and then whipped her ponytail, knocking him down.
Two of the Merry Men, one of whom possibly ‘Little John’, tried to either leap forward to grab her or ram her with a quarter staff. As Fiona took to the air to counter, time seemed to stand still with everyone frozen and the forest spinning about… but soon as Fiona adjusted her hair, she sent the men back with a split kick knocking them back. Upon landing, she immediately took off as Friar Tuck pursued her, while he was still playing the accordion. Fiona ran up a tree and leapt over the Friar. She charged as the friar desperately tried to hide behind his instrument.
*BAM!*
Fiona’s fist broke through Tuck’s instrument and straight to face, knocking him out cold. The last of the Merry Men charged with a roar behind Fiona, but she easily defeated him with a leaping kick knocking him out. By the end, one Princess was left standing while all the Merry Men, Monsieur Hood included, were left lying flat on the ground groaning in pain. Fiona walked away, stomping on one Merry Men, as she straightened out her dress and regained her composure.
“Uh, shall we?” She asked.
As the princess walked away, everyone else just stared after her. Shocked, with awe plastered on their faces, for a moment they were at a loss for words.
“Did… she just… kick Robin Hood and the Merry Men’s butts single-hoofedly?” Rainbow asked in disbelief.
“Eeyup!” Applejack nodded, drawing her hat back.
“That… was… so… AWESOME!”
The shock proved to be so great, Rainbow Dash nearly fainted before Applejack caught her.
“Sweet Celestia…” She sighed.
“Note to self: Never get on Fiona’s bad side,” Rarity declared.
“Agreed,” Pinkie nodded. “Also, I totally caught that ‘Matrix’ reference.”
“What?” Rainbow questioned.
“Nothing!”
“What?!” Apple exclaimed in shock. “But… how?! I thought princesses we’re supposed to be damsels in distress?”
“Probably should change the rulebook about fairy tales,” Raven replied.
Meanwhile, Maddie plucked the arrow off the tree and regained her tiny hat, frowning at the hole on the side.
“Aw… this was my favorite hat.”
Sighing, Maddie drew her hand toward the inside of her hat and pulled the material from the inside out… and her hat shifted to it’s original presentation minus the hole.
“Oh well, I suppose this will have to do,” Maddie smiled.
“Hold the phone,” Shrek spoke bewildered.
Taken aback, Shrek dropped Donkey and raced after Fiona.
“Oh! Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Shrek called after her. “Hold on now. Where did that come from?”
“What?” Fiona asked.
“That!” Shrek emphasized. “Back there. That was amazing! Where did you learn that?”
Hearing such praise for her fighting skills, Fiona couldn’t hide the blush spreading along her face.
“Well…” Fiona chuckled. “When one lives alone, uh, one has to learn these things in case there’s a… there’s an arrow in your butt!”
All eyes turned as Fiona pointed downward, toward a small arrow jutting out of Shrek’s… behind.
“What?” Shrek checked himself. “Oh, would you look at that?”
“How are you so calm about this?!” Twilight flipped out.
“Oh, no,” Fiona groaned. “This is all my fault. I’m so sorry.”
Shrek lightly tugged at the arrow but stopped. Trying to pry the arrow only made him winced in pain. Eventually, Donkey caught up to the group.
“Why? What’s wrong?” Donkey asked rapidly.
“Now Donkey, don’t freak out,” Spike spoke slowly. “But Shrek’s… he’s hurt.”
“Shrek’s hurt! Shrek’s hurt?!”
Donkey, frantically, began scampering around hysterically.
“Oh, no, Shrek’s gonna die!”
“Donkey, I’m okay,” Shrek reassured.
“You can’t do this to me, Shrek,” Donkey rambled. “I’m too young for you to die! Keep your legs elevated! Turn your head and cough! Does anyone know the Heimlich?!”
Fiona grabbed Donkey’s head and pulled it down to her.
“Donkey! Calm down!” Fiona spoke. “If you want to help Shrek, run into the woods and find me a blue flower with red thorns.”
“Blue flower, red thorns,” Donkey memorized. “Okay, I’m on it. Blue flower, red thorns. Don’t die Shrek.”
Donkey began heading in one random direction deep into the forest but hadn’t gone very far.
“And if you see a long tunnel, stay away from the light!”
“Donkey!” The group shouted.
“Oh, yeah. Right. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns…”
Donkey marched off, still chanting, until he was well out of earshot.
“Girls, Spike, can you go and make sure Donkey doesn’t get himself too lost?” Fiona asked politely.
“Sure, we’ll keep an eye on ‘em,” Applejack nodded. “Just one question: What’re the flowers for?”
“For getting rid of Donkey.”
“… Then, why would ya go an—”
“OOH…” Rainbow butted in. “Yeah, we’ll totally keep Donkey busy. Let’s leave these two to their… ‘business’. Come on, every pony!”
Rainbow wrapped a wing around Applejack’s shoulder and carted her away, as the rest of her friends followed suit. Once the whole group were gone, Fiona and Shrek were truly left alone. The ogre’s initial confusion slowly turned into a big grin.
“Now you hold still, and I’ll yank this thing out,” Fiona instructed.
The princess reached to grab ahold of the arrow and began to pry. Shrek yelped and leapt away.
“Ow! Hey! Easy with the yankin’!” Shrek shouted.
“I’m sorry, but it has to come out.”
“No, it’s tender.”
They rambled back and forth as Fiona kept reaching out to grab the arrow with Shrek dodging every attempt.
“Now, hold on,” Fiona groaned.
“What you’re doing is the opposite of help,” Shrek warned.
“Don’t move.”
“Look, time out.”
Shrek placed his entire hand over Fiona’s face, stopping her in her tracks.
“Would you…”
Fiona stopped, realizing the ridiculousness of this scenario. Patiently, she took Shrek’s hand off her face.
“Okay. What do you propose we do?”
<>
Meanwhile, deeper in the woods, the Equestrians and Ever After girls had finally caught up with Donkey. By now, they watched as he hurriedly searched for the flower that supposedly could save their friend. They could barely keep it together due to the irony of the situation.
“Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns,” Donkey chanted. “Blue flower, red thorns – this would be so much easier if I wasn’t color blind!”
“Oh, then you definitely don’t want ‘that’ one,” Spike called out. “It’s a yellow flower, with red thorns.”
“Oh thanks Spike, you’re a pal,” Donkey spoke. “That would’ve been a disaster. Blue flower, red thorns—”
“Why’re we plum doin’ this to Donkey,” Applejack groaned. “It don’t feel right.”
“Aw, come on, hun,” Rainbow teased. “No one’s actually getting hurt.”
“Besides, I want to see how long he can keep this up,” Spike replied.
“I can always count on you for mischief, can I Spike?” Twilight smirked.
“You bet.”
Suddenly, they heard a loud ‘Oww!” as Shrek yelled from far away.
“Hold on, Shrek! I’m comin’!” Donkey called out.
Donkey ripped a flower off a nearby bush, which just happened to be the blue flower with red thorns. The entire gang took off running, following Donkey’s trail back to their friends.
<>
Back in the clearing, Shrek laid upon the ground assuming the facedown position. Fiona stood over him, using both hands in an effort to remove the arrow as best as she can without hurting him.
“Ow! Not good,” Shrek groaned, in annoyance.
“Okay,” Fiona groaned. “N—Okay. I can nearly see it… it’s just about…”
Shrek cried out in pain and rolled over, knocking Fiona off her feet and caused her to land on top of him. For a moment, they stared into each other’s eyes and were seemingly lost in the moment.
“Ahem.”
Startled by Donkey’s interruption, the princess and the ogre looked up. The rest of the group, with the flower dropped at their feet, gave them a suggestive look.
“Why Shrek, you sly ogre you!” Pinkie giggled.
“Didn’t think you had it in you, big guy,” Rainbow smirked.
“Nothing happened,” Shrek assured, pushing Fiona off. “We were just, uh…”
“Look, if you wanted to be alone, all you had to do was ask, okay?” Donkey smiled mischievously.
“We would completely understand,” Maddie nodded. “After all, the horntail would never ease unless you scratch its belly with a toothbrush.”
Everyone looked at the deranged teenage hatter before shaking their heads and turned back toward the scene.
“On, come on!” Shrek argued. “That’s the last thing on my mind. The princess here was just—UGGGHHH!!!”
Fiona quickly ripped the arrow out of Shrek’s butt with one great pull, sending the ogre groaning in pain. The Equestrians and the Ever After girls cringed at the reaction. He slowly turned toward Fiona, who playfully shook the arrow back and forth with a coy smile.
“Ow!” Shrek uttered quietly.
“Hey, what’s that?” Donkey chuckled nervously. “That’s… is that blood?”
And Donkey fainted, falling into a pile of leaves. Shrek casually picked him up and threw him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. The three, along with their allies, continued their journey toward the kingdom of Duloc. Unbeknownst to the group, hidden within the shadow of the trees, Uncle Howdy’s dark figure (Along with his shadowy cohorts) watched after them.
“Oh my dearest Maddie, would they still love you… if they knew the truth?”
Oh My God, Thank you, Lord Enigma for using some of my Quote Suggestions for this chapter!
This chapter had me laughing. And that flashback of Celestia letting out that big burp? I can just imagine Maurice LaMarche pulling that off.
Oh man, throughout the entire movie, there are two scenes that are my favorites, the bird exploding, and Fiona kicking Robin Hood and his groups' butts.
That never gets old.
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You and me both Postwar
And, the look on everyone reaction seeing Fiona kicking some serious butt was also funny to
When I first saw this scene as a kid, I thought: "Wow, since when did Fiona became a badass princess?!". I still love that scene so much.
I loved it when Fiona took on Robin Hood and the Merry Men like a boss. And now that Fiona and Shrek are on better terms the others will start to notice they seem to be closer than being friends
It is during this part of the story where viewers are treated to the Fiona of which we have come to expect (The nicer version anyway) while also including some elements that seem a slight out of character from a Disney-like princess. The way she belts a note so high that birds explode, even some bit of behavior that would mostly be unbecoming of a lady (Or by some measure of what is deemed ladylike). But possibly the most noteworthy moment is that unlike most Disney princesses who need the help of a man to sort them with their problems or dealings with savage men, this princess is trained to defend herself and attack if need be. Wish we'd have seen this more during the later portion of this story, but I'm getting a tad ahead of myself.
All and all, Shrek and the others are in for a special surprise when they see that there's more to this princess than they imagined. But true to the saying, 'You should never judge someone until you really get to know them'. And in some case, talking via text on a computer is not going to help anybody. Believe me I know. We are humans; not words on a screen.
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No worries, Doc. You do what you got to do. We all have our schedules. I for one just got moved back to my old working space in Tech Services (Not an office, but I make do). Whatever you hope to do as far as commentaries are concerned, feel free to work at your own pace. There're no deadlines. Just keep giving a heads-up if something comes about.
hope you do harry potter and the chamber of secrets mate
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He is, soon.
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Discord's Theatre, Galaxy Branch
Leia Organa: Someone's in a good mood.
Han Solo: After seeing her attitude, I say it's about time.
Galen Marek: Oh, I'm sure it would be ruined one way or the other.
Sunset Shimmer: How would you know that?
Postwar: Trust me, we've seen this before.
Postwar: (realizing something) Oh, no.
Sunset Shimmer: What?
Postwar: Let's just say...you'll be glad Fluttershy's not awake to see this.
Luke Skywalker: How come?
Postwar: Uh...you might wanna see for yourself. *Suddenly begins to snicker.*
Everyone else gawks in shock over what they saw, then Postwar suddenly laughs extremely loud.
Postwar: Sorry, I'm sorry. It's just...I know it's wrong, but it's extremely hilarious at the same time!! *laughs loudly*
Again, everyone gawks at that.
Postwar: Huh, don't remember that one.
Sunset Shimmer: You're right though. I'm really glad Flutters didn't see this.
Postwar: Told you. *Suddenly realizes in shock and texted Arctic to be careful around Fluttershy back at Canterlot City Mall's theatre*
Postwar: Ugh, reminds me of that Yak bagpipes.
Sunset Shimmer: Oh, I remember that.
Pinkie Pie: *suddenly pops up* Hey, it's called a Yovidaphone!!
Postwar: Whatever. *pushes Pinkie back in the screen. Everyone looked shocked at that, even Sunset was baffled*. Trust me, you hang around with a few 4th wall breakers over the years, you tend to pick up a few tricks or get used to it.
Ahsoka Tano: Huh, that was pretty good.
Postwar: And I'm glad she took some lessons...for once.
Kal Kestis: Because of the instrument you talked about? How bad was it?
Sunset Shimmer: Uh, you don't wanna know.
Postwar: Trust me, you really don't.
Lando Calrissian: I wonder what that could be?
Postwar: I suggest that we find out.
Sunset Shimmer: *notices Postwar chuckling* What?
Postwar: I'm just surprised that your Rainbow Dash and AJ didn't become a couple. Imagine if those two got hitched. *Sunset ended up blushing by that comment*
Postwar: Oh, you poor fools. If only you knew where that came from.
Lando Calrissian: Agreed.
Sunset Shimmer: I wonder how come they didn't ask where the eggs come from?
Postwar: Ignorance for one.
Postwar: Seriously? And she's supposed to be the smart one. *looks at Sunset* Sometimes I wonder your mentor's taste in students.
Sunset Shimmer: *looks at him with a quirked eyebrow* Excuse me?
Postwar: Well, both of you are talented, yes. But the flaws both of you have; your temper and anger management issues, and Twilight with her control freak and OCD mindset.
Sunset Shimmer: *Sunset wanted to say something, but realized he had a point, then she sighed* Point made.
Postwar: Trust me, if you did know, your minds would melt and pour out of your nose like a slushie. I mean Sunset has seen inside Pinkie's mind.
Sunset Shimmer: *shivers at that* Don't remind me.
Leia Organa: What do you mean?
Sunset Shimmer: You uh...don't wanna know.
Postwar: Yeah, everyone burps every once and a while. Like that time Rarity did when she was at the chocolate factory.
Sunset Shimmer: *chuckles* Oh yeah, I remember that.
Postwar: And Sunset also burps every time someone pokes her in the ribs.
Sunset Shimmer: *Looks at him confused* Wait, what? *Postwar pokes her in the ribs, causing her to release a huge burp, making her cover her mouth in embarrassment, with the others looking at her surprised*
Galen Marek: *Chuckles* Good one.
Postwar: Yeah, just like a certain princess who decided to carry a blaster holder at a young age to shoot anyone. *Looks at Leia* I'm talking about you, Leia.
Han Solo: She did?
Postwar: Yeah, shortly after Obi-Wan rescued her and also fought Vader on Tatooine.
Luke Skywalker: What? But...Kenobi didn't tell me that.
Postwar: It was when you were still a child and he wanted to train you, but your uncle wouldn't allow it. He didn't want you to end up like Anakin. *Luke had a look of understanding on his face*
Postwar, Sunset and a handful of folks laughed at that as they didn't expect that.
Postwar: True. One doesn't know the life one has, for you may never know how hard it was for the other.
Luke Skywalker: Well said there.
Postwar: *face palms* Oh, no.
Ahsoka Tano: What?
Postwar: That would be Robin Hood.
Sunset Shimmer: Oh yeah, I know him.
Cal Kestis: What's his story?
Postwar: Guy who stole from the rich and give it to the poor. But there are plenty of versions of him. This one, however, let's just say he's a bit of a snob. *muttered* I'd prefer the one from Men in Tights.
Sunset Shimmer: Oh yeah, I know that movie. It was quite good.
Ben Solo: More like a jerk.
Sunset Shimmer: Couldn't have said it better myself, Ben.
Galen Marek: Oh, this should be interesting.
Postwar: Well, I can't admit that it's very catchy.
Sunset Shimmer: It is actually.
Everyone stares at the scene surprised:
Sunset Shimmer: Wow, she's good.
Postwar: Oh, this is going to be good. *snaps his fingers and everyone gets popcorn, much to their surprise. However, Sunset and Postwar ate popcorn and watched with interest, knowing where this was going*
Everyone was shocked by what they saw.
Postwar/Sunset: Awesome. *Fist bumped one another*
Galen Marek: *to Leia* How come you were never like that? *Gets a flexed eyebrow from Leia*
Postwar: Can't blame her though. She kicks better butt than your Rainbow on her last karate tournament.
Sunset Shimmer: Tell me about it. Rainbow could definitely learn a thing or two from her.
Postwar: My favorite scene, ever. *With a handful nodding in agreement*
Postwar: That happened to me once. *gains a shock look from Sunset*
Sunset Shimmer: Seriously?! How?!
Postwar: First day of training. Those elves are really brutal.
Lando Calrissian: Bout time someone made him be quiet.
Postwar: Sometimes I wonder why the Fairy Tale commission made an annoying animal.
Sunset Shimmer: Hey!!
Postwar: What?! I'm only saying!!
Sunset Shimmer: Surprisingly Rainbow caught that pretty quick.
Postwar: And for a girl who's really fast, she's a slow thinker.
Sunset Shimmer: *rolls her eyes* Tell me about it.
Everyone couldn't help but chuckle over this silly scenario.
Postwar: Ah, memories.
Sunset Shimmer: I know, right?
Postwar: As Rainbow said on Dagobah, "Awkward"
Luke Skywalker: *chuckled as he remembered that day*, Agreed.
Ahsoka Tano: Oooh, he's going to need some ice for that.
Postwar: Or a lot of lotion. *Everyone looks at him with a surprised and shocked look* What, I'm serious, I had to take a lot of that stuff when my butt was hit with an arrow!!
Galen Marek: Well at least it got him to shut up for a while.
All: Agreed.
Sunset Shimmer: Him again?
Han Solo: What does he want?
Postwar: Somehow, I get the feeling that we'll find out soon enough.
Well done, especially the arrow scene it was funny. The funny part is when Fiona pulled out the arrow from Shrek's butt, and he says quietly, "Ow!"
But I saw an error here. Well, just one error.
fix into this:
Very well done Mr e
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He will, we just need to be patient.
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Oh i love Men in Tights. Best Mel Brooks movie ever!
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Ditto here
OMG, love it to death, the flashback had me rofl XD, always love the robin hood scene where Fiona kicks butts, awesome job Lord E and Drama
All I can say is, thank Celestia that Fluttershy didn’t see the bird explode.
Ah, the scene where Fiona kicks the heck out of Robin Hood and the merry men. Always got a laugh from it, especially the Matrix reference. Seriosuly...where did she learn karate?
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The answer to the question was revealed in the third movie.
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Future G5
Discord Memorial Cinema
Soon, I arrived back again in the safety of my cinema division. I was exhausted. I hung up my coat and grabbed a drink from the soda machine, then rejoined my audience.
Izzy: Plymouth!
Me: Hey, Izzy.
Sunny: Where have you been?
Me: (drinks) I had to step out for a while. Now that I’m back, let’s continue.
Pipp: I am loving~ her singing voice~!
Hitch: I’ve never been a fan of coffee myself.
Zipp: How’d she drink coffee out in the wilderness?
Me: (knowingly) Oh…it’s this scene. (grins, laughs wickedly)
Sunny: Why did you do that?
Me: Hehehe, you’ll see…
Izzy: Aww…she’s singing to the little birdie!
Hitch: The mama bird sings beautifully.
Me: (grinning wide) Wait for it…wait for it…
The entire audience sat in stunned silence at what just happened, terrified out of their minds… while I was laughing my gut out.
Me: (laughing loudly) GOD ALMIGHTY, THAT NEVER GETS OLD!!!!
Hitch: (stammering) S-s-s-s-she jus…a-a-a-a-a-a-a th…th-th-th…
Zipp: (in shock) I think our poor sheriff’s uh…gone into shock.
Pipp: (crying into her hooves) My fairy tales! They’re ruined!
Hitch: She…SHE’S STEALING THE EGGS!! AND SHE MURDERED THE MAMA BIRD!!!
Me: (calming down) Meh…I’ve never been a fan of eggs myself.
Sunny: Take it easy, Hitch. You’re hyperventilating again.
Pipp: Use my spare stress bag.
Hitch: (blows repeatedly into the bag)
Once again, the entire audience is in stunned silence.
Pipp: (crying again) Wh-hy-hy-hy-hy-hyyyy~?!
Hitch: (continues to hyperventilate)
Me: Oohh…now I remember. That one was again from the Broadway Musical version.
Me: Oh, so now she says it.
Pinkie: I heard that!
Me: You know the rules, Pinkie! (Pinkie pops away) Sometimes it’s funny, most of the time it’s annoying.
While I was snapping away to the beat.
Me: I’m a sucker for tap-dance musical numbers; you can thank Newsies for that.
Me: (impersonating George Carlin) “They had seen everything.”
Zipp: Why did you say it like that?
Me: (tugs collar) About that…who’s up for fried eggs?
Hitch: WHAT?!!!
At the very sight of them, Hitch fainted away.
Me: Oh, Christ, not again! (checks his vitals) He’s unconscious, but a bit warm.
Sunny: Should we…get some cold water?
Me: A glass would suffice, please.
Sunny: I’m on it!
She soon came back and splashed over his face, startling him awake.
Hitch: What happened?! Where’s the fire?!
Me: Thank God, you’re back. C’mon, we’ve got a film to continue.
Me: No, no, go ahead: finish that sentence.
Haven: Gracious; no!
Posey: Don’t even think about it!
Me: I’m kidding; don’t worry. (to myself) I can already hear the hatred directed towards me for that line.
Hitch: (rapid hyperventilating)
Izzy: (gasps) Daisy chains! I loooooove daisy chains!
Me: None for me please; my allergies get worked up that way.
Sunny: (smiles) Emotional support.
Me: I forgot about that.
Izzy: That’s some cool as crystals magic!
Hitch: It’s not—
Sunny: No, Hitch. It isn’t.
Hitch: Phew, good.
Tinny: What was that about?
Izzy: (whispers) We don’t talk about it.
Zipp: Uhhhhh…
Me: (shrugs) Happy Unbirthday to all ‘a y’all.
Izzy: To me?!
Me: To you.
Izzy: Happy Unbirthday, everypony!
Haven: I agree.
Pipp: Yeah! Gross!
Haven: Alphabittle?
Alphabittle: Yeah?
Haven: May I please have whatever you’re drinking?
Alphabittle: Uh, sure?
Haven took the drink and chugged it down in five gulps, slammed down the glass and slumped forward. A soft belch followed.
Alphabittle: (takes the glass back) No more Rolling Rock for you tonight.
Me: Once again, a fateful statement is made.
Izzy: (gasps) Is it jinxie?!
Me: Depends on the context.
From the screen, the massive shockwave caused the entire building to shake like it was an earthquake, shaking and bouncing everything that wasn’t bolted down.
Me: There’s your context.
Zipp: Wow. I didn’t know Princess Celestia had a playful side. Sunny?
Pipp: I think Sunny’s broken this time.
Me: I can imagine Princess Celestia’s feeling mighty embarrassed right about now. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go clean up the spill in the concessions stand and bar.
I got up and left the theater. From the theater, the audience could hear me slip and crash into multiple breakable objects.
Izzy: (grumbles) I totally hate it when that happens.
Zipp: Ouch.
Pipp: Burn~!
Zipp: Uh oh.
Pipp: (grumbles) Not again!
Zipp: Give it a rest, Pipp!
Sunny: He’s not gonna let up, is he?
Hitch: What exactly is the point he’s trying to make?
Pipp: Oh, now he’s done it.
Posey: (bored) Are they gonna sing again?
Me: (poking my head in) No straightjacket?
Hitch: Dude!
Me: What? (ducks out)
Zipp: Yep…that oughta do it.
Pipp: That’s…that’s just cruel!
Me: (angry, yells) Not everyone celebrates Christmas, ya know!
Zipp: Yeah, I think being sent away on your birthday is more heartbreaking.
Izzy: Because everyp—one celebrates their birthday regardless of their culture.!
Pipp: (gasps) Beauty and the Beast!
Me: (sarcasm) Ah hah…ah haaah…(drinks) I need to start taking shots at how many “up yours” there are to Disney in this film.
Sunny: What do you have against fairy tales anyway?
Me: They always end the same! That’s why! (coughs) Sorry…sorry, I’m getting off track.
Izzy: Soooo…who do you think had it worse?
Zipp: I’d say…Shrek.
Sunny: Why?
Zipp: Because Fiona was born into all the things she could want; Shrek never had that, and unlike Fiona, no one was willing to give him a chance.
Pipp: But Fiona was locked away in a tower awaiting her true love.
At last, I finished the clean up and returned to my seat, with a brand new memo in hand.
Me: Whoo, that…didn’t take as long as I thought it would. Oh, well. (pulls out reading glasses) My instructions were to: “stop at 3:20… please.” Well, he did say please.
>>next
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Pretty solid stuff there.
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Thanks, man.
Tom: Ladies and Gentlemen, the Jackie Chan/Michelle Yeoh of Princesses!
Tom: And I really don’t like where this is going…..
Side note: saw ads for Puss in Boots 2 during the videos and down at the bottom with the bottom ad in Spanish.
Niiiice!
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Gets it from her mother. Who I’m guessing got it from her mother who got it from her mom who got from her mom and so on.
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Yeah. Those last few scenes always kill me. I can only hope Fluttershy in particular never find it out where breakfast came from.
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Canterlot Mall Theater, Discord's Branch
Pinkie Pie: Seems like someone in a good mood now.
Sci-Twi: Guess all she needed was a goodnight sleep.
Rainbow Dash: Honestly, I hope she doesn’t give more attitude. (she said a bit annoyed)
Applejack: Well, she does sound mighty happy now from her singing.
Arctic: (his eyes widen) Oh no.. it’s this scene (he said to himself and, gets his phone out seeing a text from Postwar) Hey, Fluttershy. Mind helping me out? (he said as he started getting up) I need some extra help getting some popcorn for everyone.
Fluttershy: O-oh, sure Ace. (She said and started getting up)
Rarity: (would watch them both getup and notice the worried look on Ace’s face) Ace, is everything ok? (She asks)
Arctic: (he would turn his attention back to the fashionista) o-oh, yeah. Don’t worry we won’t take long. (he said as he made his way out of the theater with Fluttershy a bit quickly)
Pinkie Pie: Huh, I wonder why he was in a rush to get Fluttershy out?
The other Equestrian Girls wonder the same when they look back towards the screen, where they soon get their answer.
The Equestrian Girls' eyes widen in shock seeing what happened to the bird.
Rainbow Dash: I..think we know the reason why he took her. (she mentioned speechless)
Applejack: E-Eeyup. That was the right thing to do.
The Equestrian Girls were shocked again as they saw her twirling the deer off the cliff.
Sci-Twi: Y-Yeah, definitely a good idea Fluttershy isn’t here to see this. (She mentioned)
Soon after the song ended, Ace and Fluttershy came back with some popcorn in their hands.
Fluttershy: We’re back. (The shy girl mentioned as she started giving popcorn to her friends along with Ace) So, did we miss anything? (She asked)
Her friends glance at each other for a while, having the same look on their faces, to which they shake their heads at Fluttershy.
Rainbow Dash: Nothing much Flutters, just another musical number. (She said)
Fluttershy: (the shy girl nods her head a smile a bit) Ok, glad we didn’t miss much. (she mentioned as she sits back down at her seat)
Arctic: (would take a sit back down next to Rarity as he gives her a bag of popcorn) Here you go, Rarity.
Rarity: Why thank you, Ace (she said as she took the popcorn and leaned in forward), and thank you for bringing Fluttershy out with you. (she said into his ear whispering)
Arctic: (nods his head and whispers back) Yeah, she didn’t need to be traumatized by that part. (he said before looking back at the screen before he thinks to himself) Though, I’m worried for the feather creatures back at Discord Theater. Hopefully, some earmuffs are provided.
Fluttershy: Oh? She’s making breakfast for them. That’s nice of her to do.
Arctic: (sighs a bit) Again, can’t go one adventure without her making a comment like that. (he mentions)
Sci-Twi: Well, this seems like a good start. Not only apologizing but also making them a nice breakfast
Fluttershy: I hope it stays like that and that there will be no more fighting.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, something tells me that could change pretty soon.
The group couldn’t help but have, a small chuckle from this seeing the princess small forgetfulness of Raven’s magic.
Arctic: Oh believe me, that’s the best to do when involving any 4th wall breakers. Don’t question their logic.
Applejack: And, it’s moments like that where we don’t question the things Pinkie does
There was some chuckles and laughter from everyone who couldn’t believe that Celestia would do something like that.
Arctic: Oh man, I can only imagine the reactions on everyone face back at Discord theater on this part. (He said in his thoughts laughing a little bit still)
Fluttershy: O-Oh no.. they’re fighting again.
Pinkie Pie: Well, she does kinda have a point. (The party girl said)
Sci-Twi: True Pinkie, one must never truly knows what others have gone or been through in their lives.
Arctic: Ah, the classic story of ‘Beauty’ and ‘The Beast’ honestly, one of my favorite fairy tales there is.
Rarity: I agree Ace, it’s such a lovely story indeed. (She said smiling and could see that things between Fiona and Shrek could turn into something more)
Arctic: (groans) oh no, not him. (he said annoyed)
Pinkie Pie: What’s wrong Acey? (She asked towards the ice pony)
Arctic: It’s Robin Hood…
Sci-Twi: You don’t like Robin Hood? (She asked Arctic)
Arctic: No, I do with his motto of “Steal from the rich and give to the poor.” However, this version is..different.
Applejack: Different in what way exactly? (The farm girl asked Arctic as she saw him point to the screen)
Applejack: (was quite for a few moments) Yeah, I see what you mean now.
Rainbow Dash: Man, he sounds like a total jerk.
Rarity: I agree with you Rainbow. He doesn’t, act like the Robin Hood we know from the fairytale books we read.
Fluttershy: H-He does kinda have a catchy song. (she admits softly)
The Equestrian Girls started to get worried seeing Hoid inching closer with his dagger.
Arctic: Don’t worry girls. (He said starting to grin) you have nothing to worry about.
Sci-Twi: What are you-(she begins to say only to see him point at the screen)
The Equestrian Girls eyes widen in shock and surprise by this.
Rainbow Dash: I agree! What was that?! (She exclaimed)
Arctic: (begins to laugh a little) And, here’s where the fun begins. (he said laughing a little more)
The Equestrian Girls were shocked and surprised by the scene that had unfolded.
Rainbow Dash: So..Awesome! (She said with a wide grin)
Applejack: Well I be darn, I didn’t expect that at all from her. Seems like she isn’t some damsel in distress.
Arctic: Yeah, man I love seeing this scene every time. The shocked looks on everyone faces is priceless. (he said with a laugh)
Sci-Twi: How is he so calm?! (She said in shock)
Applejack: Must have lots of pain tolerance to not notice that.
Rainbow Dash: Well, after everything he been through, it makes sense.
The group laugh slightly from this.
Rainbow Dash: I bet I know where this is gonna go (she mentioned with a small laugh)
Applejack: Eeyup (she said letting out a chuckle of her own)
This cause Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Ace and Pinkie to laugh seeing this scenario play
Rarity: (would have a small giggle from this) My my, they must be really awkward right now
Fluttershy: oh no, is he going to be ok? (She asked worried)
Sci-Twi: I’m sure he will. Just need a little rest is all. (She said to Fluttershy)
Sci-Twi: It’s him again?
Pinkie Pie: What does he want? He brought up Maddie, you think it has something to do with her? (She questioned)
Arctic: Maybe Pinkie, he knows something that’s for sure. And, whatever it is sounds something really big.
Next>>
What truth!?!
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Okay, Mr. E and Drama. Here's what I've figured for the schedule on my part.
My assignment – from my other job – needs to at least be polished by March 27, so it's very much a top priority.
But through the weekdays, first chance I get, I'll work on my commentary to get (parts of) it done in the coming weekend.
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PostwarMonkey50
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Arctic
PostWar. Arctic. I applaud to the both of you for your coordination and collaboration. Especially the part with Princess Fiona...and the bird.
You two really have proven how it's possible for commentators to work together to write your stories in-sync.
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Plymouth
You're doing a good job on your part. Keep it up!
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Massager
Now that you're caught up, that's good! Get ready for when I get back. Remember to look for the red highlighted words for our guest-stars.
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HunterBrony
Our guests are hungry. Hunter, you show them Discord's Food Menu.
Select per customers:
Then you take the orders to the kitchen to Chef Gustave le Grand and Curiander Cumin.
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ShadowShion
Discord's Theater is under attack by some uninvited guests (we need to get better security). So you need to protect Hunter and the staffs to deliver the foods back to the audience (and when in doubt, throw a pie at Tempest Shadow, because her partner Grubber orders so many, and that's how he likes them delivered – Again, I don't hate Tempest Shadow. It's just a callback to some old Cartoon Network games I used to play, like Chez Bugs).
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Thank you Phantom, we really appreciate your support.
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Let me guess, more knights?.
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Sir yes sir
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I understand that you have a deadline that is a top priority, especially in your workplace. As for me, I have deadlines involving assignments for college due on specific dates during this month. Hence, there's no room for me to procrastinate and I have to be on my 'A' game with these courses... literally. So, I feel for you on how important your job is, and you should do whatever it takes to make sure that it is ready by that specific date. Wishing you luck.
In the meantime, Mr. Enigma and I have more chapters to prepare. You can catch up on your own time.
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Oh right...sorry..I haven't seen the third film in a really long time
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Thanks, Phantom.
We’re both happy to hear that from you. And, as Postwar said, we really appreciate your support
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Me:(radio)"Hunter, Phantom Dragon wants you to take care of the orders from the theaters kitchen and get Sonata Dusk to help you, I'll sent WOLF pack to escort you both from kitchen to guests".
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Me:(radio)"Lucasnike123, I need to help Shinning Armour on the battlefield, keep any of those knights from finding ways to getting in the movie theater, I'll take care of the ones that got in".
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Me: "Sir, yes sir!"
(I then look through my things... and take out the BIGGEST weapon I have)
static.wikia.nocookie.net/ratchetandclank/images/f/fe/T.A.U.N.png/revision/latest?cb=20180729124256&path-prefix=es
Me: "I'm ready..."
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<<previous
Zipp: What the—?!
Sunny: What was that?!
Me: (cackling) This scene.
Pipp: Who’s he?
Me: Robin Hood: robs the rich and gives it to the poor…and least that’s the general legend, which was of course not considered at all during the making of this film.
Pipp: (deadpan) Of course.
Pipp: Ew.
Haven: I am appalled by this man’s behavior! It’s disgusting!
Alphabittle: Bleugh, toxic masculinity.
Me: No idea what they’re talking about, don’t exactly care.
Me: Luckily, this one ends more abruptly.
Izzy: Uhuh?
Me: They’re quite literally Men in Tights; love that film.
Me: I love me some Irish jigs!
Izzy: Ooh, I wanna dance like that, too!
Haven: (gags, does spit-take)
Alphabittle: What?!
(2:07)
Me: That right there was so West Side Story!
Sunny: Oh no!
Me: (loud clap) BAM!
Entire Audience: AAH!!
Izzy: B-b-b-b-b-whaaa?!
Zipp: WHAT?!!
Hitch: WAS THAT?!!!
Izzy: Not the hats!
Pipp: Woah! This is totally tricked out!
Hitch: How is she doing that?!
Me: (shrugs) Eh, this was back when everyone doing that move was cool.
Me: No! Why is it always the instruments?!
As were the rest of the audience.
Sprout: Okay, so…that happened.
Sunny: (shocked) That was…not what I expected.
Zipp: HOW HAS SHE NOT RESCUED HERSELF?!!! WITH MOVES LIKE THAT, SHE’D BE UNSTOPPABLE!!!
Sunny: (reluctant) I…think it…might be the whole: “fairytale princess” thing.
Zipp: WHY IS THAT HER EXCUSE?!!!
Pipp: Okay, Zipp. You’re getting red in the face again. Remember what Mom taught you!
Me: Me too!
Tinny: I always wondered what that was about.
Me: Newsflash: that stereotype died out years ago.
Me: Hahaha!
Hitch: What’s so funny?
Me: Slapstick comedy.
Pipp: AAH!! (hides her face)
Zipp: Yikes, that’s gotta be painful!
Hitch: AAH!! (blocks Sparky’s vision)
Sunny: AHH!! (blocks Izzy’s vision)
Izzy: What are we looking at?
Me: Weird stuff, that’s what.
Hitch: It’s a basic First Aid procedure!
Zipp: What was all that about?
Sunny: Oh…
Izzy: Can I look now?
Sunny: Uh, not yet. Eheh…
Izzy: Okay!
Me: Cool.
Hitch: What’s cool?
Me: Mmm…nothing, really.
Zipp: (deadpan) This is going well.
Pipp: This is going nowhere!
Haven: Is this supposed to be funny?
Alphabittle: Maybe to…some folk.
Izzy: Can I look now?
Me: You may, but we’ll come back later.
Izzy: Finally! (vision restored) Okay, so what’d I miss?
Hitch: Ooh, yeah. That’s a pain.
Sunny: It doesn’t sound that bad.
Hitch: It really isn’t that bad, depending if you want a job that requires precise vision.
Me: Cleverdick.
Sunny: Huh?
Me: Nothin’.
Izzy: Yay, he found it!
Sunny: (covers Izzy’s vision again)
Izzy: Aww!
Sunny: Sorry, Izzy, but it’s for your own good.
Pipp: (swoons) Ooh…well now!
Zipp: Really?
Me: Yeah, they know what’s up.
Izzy: What is?
Me: The light fixtures.
Izzy: (gasps) Of course!
Sunny: Uh—what?
Me: Lewis Carroll and his nonsense.
Pipp: (meekly) Meep!
Hitch: (likewise) I’m gonna feel that for a while.
Izzy: Can I look yet?
Sunny: Uh…
Me: Yes.
Sunny: Yes. You may.
Izzy: Hooray! (restored vision again) What’d I miss?
Me: Hmm…definitely an intriguing mystery.
Zipp: That it is…
Sunny: Wha…what do they want?
Pipp: I’m…scared.
Me: I’m more intrigued than I am scared. (sighs) One day, I hope to find something that I love as much as my boss loves WWE.
Izzy: Like movie watching?
Me: (ponders) I was gonna say model-train building, but that works just as well.
Quite funny of how Donkey was freaking out about the arrow stuck on Shrek’s butt, he believes or thinks, it’s a poisoned arrow. It is true that some tribal cultures do use poison for their arrows or what if bandits learned to do it.
Hehe. Classic.
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*I'm reading to Sonata, and the young ones Sylvester and the Magic Pebble during the small break*
Me: 'When they eventually calmed down a bit, and had gotten home, Mr. Duncan put the magic pebble in an iron safe. Someday they might want to use it, but really, for now, what more could they wish for? They had all that they wanted.' The End.
Flurry Heart: That was such a sweet story, Hunter.
Diamond Tiara: Yeah, it's message is really good. That we never have to look too far to find the things that make us the most happy.
Sonata Dusk: I'm happy to be surrounded by new friends who've accepted me.
Me: Glad you all enjoyed it. But now, let's return to our adventure.
*I receive the messages from both Phantom and Shadow, but I feel that professionals should do it. So I a call in two multiversal friends. Coming out of the portal are Spongebob, having gone through a spell that allows him to survive out of water, and Kronk having taken the form of a broad stallion. I tell them their tasks and they get right to work.
I levitate the food that's been done and float them over to the guests. Cake for Grubbler, meat for Gabby, Gallus, and Silverstream, and a nice big taco for Sonata. She also helps out by flinging meals neatly into the laps of others. I even see the other thing that Phantom asked to do with a pie. But since I'm not that cruel, I choose to throw it at another to give her a break.
I then light my horn to produce a weapon for when the knights break through, take my seat next to Sonata and we continue watching*
Sonata Dusk: Quite a lovely voice.
Me: Indeed. Prepare yourself Sonata.
Sonata Dusk: Why?
Sonata Dusk: Awww.
Sonata Dusk: Oh, that's what you meant by preparing myself...
Me: Mmhmm.
Sonata Dusk: The poor deer...
Me: At least it's not like the death of Bambi's mother...
Me: Wow, and I thought she never slowed down from sweets...
*Sonata claps her knees while moving in tune. I can't help but give the dance a foam thumbs up*
Sonata Dusk: *claps her hooves*
Sonata Dusk: Happy's good.
Sonata Dusk: *feels awkward at that*
Me: If I were human, I say scrambled.
Sonata Dusk: Oooh! Sounds as good as blueberry pie! *accidentally tosses the pie that lands on Phantom's face*
Tempest: Heh. So it wasn't me this time. *uses Phantom as a shield when another pie comes*
Me: Duh!
Me: Yeah, you'd just get a massive headache.
Sonata Dusk: Did she just...?
Me: She did.
*I look to see Celestia hide her face in shame and a pie having hit Discord in the face*
Sonata Dusk: Ouch.
Me: Yeah, Ouch.
Me: Here we go again.
Me: Yep, pretty ruff.
Sonata Dusk: The birthday seems more emotional.
Me: Agreed.
Sonata Dusk: Yeah, I see it.
Me: *reads Mr. E's memo* Sure thing, Sir.
Sonata Dusk: Who's that?
Me: Robin Hood. The famous outlaw who robs from the rich and gives to the poor.
Sonata Dusk: Ok, eww...
Me: How valgur. *tosses a couple of pies that land on two gold fevers*
Me: Excuse me for a moment. *dawns a green hat like Robin Hood and and walks over to the screen*
Me: *with Monsieur Hood* I steal from the rich and give to the needy…
Me: *with Monsieur Hood*But I’m not greedy. I rescue pretty damsels, man I’m good!
Me: *with Monsieur Hood* Break it down!
Me: *with Monsieur Hood* I like an honest fight and a saucy little maid…
Me: *with Monsieur Hood* Paid! So, when an ogre in the bush grabs a lady by the tush, that’s bad!
Me: *with Monsieur Hood* When a beauty’s with a beast it makes me awfully mad!
Me: *with Monsieur Hood* Now I’ll take my blade and ram it through your heart. Keep your eyes on me, boys, ‘Cause I’m about to start…!
*I jump back into my seat next to Sonata*
Sonata Dusk: Huh?!
Me: *speaking through a radio* Sandy? Yeah, the knights are here. You can go ahead and do your thing.
Sonata Dusk: *amazed* Did she do all that?...
Me: She did.
*While the fight was going on, Sandy Cheeks along with Spongebob were fighting the knight who broke in using their karate skills.
One knight was shoved into a group including Sassy Saddles and Coco Pommel who worked their fashion magic behind a cloud. The cloud soon vanished showing the knight in drag and makeup who then screamed in horror and ran off*
Me: *gives the knowing smirk*
Sonata Dusk: *gasps*
Me: Not a good sight!
Me: That shut him up.
*Sonata and I chuckle at that moment*
Me: *rolls eyes with a smile*
*Sonata and I share the same look*
Sonata Dusk: Ooooooh........
Me: Glad that's never happened to me...yet.
Sonata Dusk: Not him again...
Me: *turn to Sandy* Thanks for taking care of those knights, Sandy.
Sandy Cheeks: No problem, partner.
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Oh yeah.
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Me: "And, just in case..."
(I take out my lucky canteen and drink some of its contents)
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Me: "NOW I'm ready!!"
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Me: Shadow, I just hired both Kronk and Spongebob to take care of the guests. I also made duplicates of myself with my magic and hired them to fight the knights as the red power rangers.
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Me: "I'll borrow Kronk for a moment. TO THE SECRET ARMORY!!"
(Together, we run until we are in front of a chandelier that had two camouflaged levers)
Me: "Pull the lever, Kronk!"
(Kronk pulls on one of the levers, but that causes a huge spring-loaded punching fist to shoot out at me, throwing me away from 'Discord Theater')
Me: "WRONG LEVEEEEEEEEEEEER!!!!"
Kronk: "Oops, I thought it only happened with Yzma".
(Then, surreptitiously, Kronk returns with you)
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🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 That never gets old.
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(Suddenly, I appear through the door of 'Discord Theater', with a crocodile biting my tail and a black eye on my face)
Me: "Ok, can someone ask Mr. E, Mr. Drama or Discord why we have TWO levers?"
(And from a blow from me, the crocodile lets go of me and runs away)
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Yeah, why do you guys even have that lever? 🤣🤣🤣🤣
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You know, we really ought to label those levers.
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Me: can I get you guys anything food drink?
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Me: "A Krabby Patty Monster, a chocolate milkshake with cream and a Wonka bar"