Spica
Joined 20th Mar, 2012 ·
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okay no one is watching.....press read later.....
*click*
Huh... It was interesting.
This ought to be interesting...
... and it was!
it's the 'cest with the best zest!...i just had to i'm sorry...
best story ive read in some time. thumb. fave. Done
Oh god.... I'm going to hell for reading this.... *adds to read later*
I'm not gonna downvote, but...
twilight.ponychan.net/chan/files/src/134177293108.gif
1.bp.blogspot.com/-MPbnmyOiCxg/TYHjdgK78yI/AAAAAAAAAPM/frAw7rLhHZA/s1600/brilliant.jpg
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Sweetie_Belle_lolface.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Rarity_lolface.png
huh.... that sure was interesting. im going to vote up...was enjoyable.
That was...unique.
Upvoting and faving. It was, in a creepy way, entertaining.
1117461 Why do you use that picture all the time to get your point across just say you will not read it this is simply me saying that you use the picture all to often and thry using something different OH AND "NO"
OMG you are so horrible for writing this.
*unzips pants*
1117560
It's effective and funnier than just saying 'No,'
Ah,... truly, Sweetie Belle is the most fuckable foal... wait, I didn't say that.
Few mistakes here and there, easy things that could be picked up with a closer edit before submission. Clean it up and it will be as fresh as a pink mare pussy stepping out of a shower.
God... what's wrong with me?
1117758 Well you do got me there and TF2 is a very fun game I have a steam account and just got preimium YES!
Damnit. Sometimes I think my boner has a mind of its own.
Enjoyable. You got my thumbs up!
Boner hath failed me again. Good shit bro keep it up!
I am not reading this, nor am I going to give it a down vote.
But seriously,
i1250.photobucket.com/albums/hh533/Hobo_mcpancake/Nuh-uh.gif
A few mistakes (I doubt a singer would like to have a dress through her throat), but otherwise enjoyable
I love incest fics but. I take it this has Sweetiebelle as an canon aged filly?
I don't like reading foalcon so im not sure if I should read
Considering that saying "I'm not going to downvote this" in a comment is still a waste of space, have some constructive criticism as well as my opinion on the writing (since I'm not bothered by incest and have nothing against you for writing it
).
The dialogue for both Rarity and Sweetie is rather uninspired and kind of cliche. It doesn't particularly engage the reader, and when Rarity all of a sudden shows a more than romantic side to her love for her sister, it kind of comes out of nowhere. Besides that, there are a bunch of small errors scattered about with the grammar and could use a closer edit to get fixed up a bit. All in all, I AM gonna dislike this, but only because it was written rather blandly. It doesn't feel very impressive and I think you could do better with some more effort.
Much luck for the future, though
1117461>>1117922>>1117999
Yes, fella's. This is an incest story, not the first that's been published in this forum and not the last. I thank you for listening to my request, and won't do this again, now that it is out of my system.
To all in general I'm answering, yes, it has very silly mistakes of several things, I don't do much edit on my stuff, trufhfully and there comes that :3
1118301 If you downvote for for quality, that's A OK
About my little mistakes with grammar, you are right. I will maybe later do a revision against it.
This IS a cliche story, a pure venting to me for an idea I had in my mind. Typical porn movie scenario, if you will, so there's that. I would direct you to my other story, Dusk Star, that's rather more elaborate (plot wise, the erotic scene didn't satisfy me) than this one Thank you very much ^^.
1118629
Yeah, I focus on quality; it's just the kind of guy I am. I'm pretty sure my stupid short story ideas aren't going to live up to my current, fully-fleshed out narrative, either. It's just one of those things that goes with the territory of writing simple porn because you want to, ya know? Ya can't always get the quality writing that you're trying for
In any case, no problem. Just remember that even bad ideas (or just not entirely well-executed ones) still offer you the chance to improve
1118292
Oh, almost forgot. Yes, this is not foalcon. Sweetie has grown up and is taking classes on a music school
1118858
Not Foalcon?
I am so reading. Thank You
Beautiful, although I would have liked to see Sweetiebelle return the favour
Only criticism I have was it needed to be longer. I want moar
Liked and Fav'ed
Yeah, I don't like going around deleting stuff, but, things like that. Well, keep them to yourself, if you'd be so kind.
I'd like to keep the site free of NSFW images, and no, this is not hypocrisy.
1119504
img.booru.org/furry//images/158/f8377e54f2df6b831dfb93f37e05dadafce00f11.jpg?182259
Just ban me.
Sorry, but this one gets a resounding 'meh'. Rarity's dialogue comes off as rather rapey, when it could have actually been quite sweet if Sweetie had been allowed to express her insecurities more. The wrap-up sounds stilted, almost as if Sweetie had been brainwashed rather than given a confidence booster. (Which could make a decent fic of its own, albeit with the Grimdark tag.)
The actual clop part was exceedingly short. I'd have liked to see things build up a little more before they actually dove in, and take a little more time to enjoy it after that.
A bit too short, but EXCELLENT! Thumbs Up!
An incest pedophilia fanfic?
Oh, hello auto-downvote. How are you doing this fine evening?
1120713
It is incest, but not pedo, Sweetie has grown up.1119735 Point taken, I know that it isn't very developed
1119555 Not an admin, and I'll leave this one, just because it's hilarious
Read it on Fan fic first. Read it agian To make sure it was the same story. Good job.
1121778
Ah, well, that reduces the squick factor by exactly 72.8%. (Had I known that, I probably would have simply left the story alone and not auto-downvoted but that's the danger in auto-downvoting.)
images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120324224649/mlpfanart/images/a/ab/3879_-_animated_gif_chuck_norris_dodgeball_thumbs_up.gif
The only incest I don't like is big mac and aj. Princest is the best incest though and I liked this story
1124465
You've had me growing curious. Might I inquire about why you don't like Mac/AJ specifically?
1125089 I think it started when I listened to azekahh read sweet apple massacre. I don't really know why I don't like aj/big mac but I'm perfectly fine with fluttermac stories. I guess that story kinda scared me so that's why I don't like aj/big mac incest
It's not as literal as I could presume, reading the title and tags...
It's even beautiful...
But still:
imgon.net/di-7XBA.gif
It's sick - sister and sister...?
But - thumbs up for not so literal and I must admit, beautiful fanfic (showing younger sister her own beauty, making her more confident...).
Good job, author !
1127847
I know, but the title was something I HAD to do, you know?
>>Flutterash
Title is not everything, you know.
1128025 Um, I didn't say it was, but it was too good to let it pass. Anyway, I plan on doing a clean version of this story, if that interests you
1128030
Clean version ?
Yoou mean, no sex scene ?
1128036
Sup, no incest of any kind and more developed
1128053
Some kind of "interaction'' between Sweetie Belle or Rarity and other show's character ?
By the way, I added that to my favorites.
1128072
Well, how Sweetie (and the other crusaders) gained their cutie marks, began their careers, and their relationships. Thanks. Truth be told, I'm appalled to have this as my most popular work to date, but well... I looked for it
1128072
Well, how Sweetie (and the other crusaders) gained their cutie marks, began their careers, and their relationships>>1128072
You could read "Playing the Heart's Strings" in the meantime, if you want