• Member Since 20th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen Dec 21st, 2021

Spica


Comments ( 42 )

has potential, with great style.

Tracking and T-up. let's see where this goes

Thanks for your support. The next (and last) chapter will be up soon, and it'll guarantee the rating, so I'll stick with it, but your advice is well received.

awww Dash cant teach her kid to fly :(

It's not bad, but something in your writing keeps stuttering. It's mostly very good, but some of the sentences don't flow very well.

oh geez you know she'll climax watching the love birds.
and they'll have to do it again

I had to google biological clock. I feel stupid. I thought it determined when you died.

691212

Well, we're working here with the social definition of biological clock, which is when a woman wakes up her motherly instincts. Fluttershy is one that would be bound by such a concept easily.

This is the first sex scene I have ever written, so its probably not as good as it should be. I believe however, that is enough for this situation; I hope to not be deceiving myself. Would appreciate your comments :rainbowhuh:

I'm a bit disappointed with the ending. It would have been interesting to see Fluttershy during pregnancy, and possibly a few months after the foal was born.

i0.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/000/574/moar-cat.jpg

To me it feels incomplete. In fact, i had to go back and check that this was actually the end of the story. Don't get me wrong. What you wrote was amazing, but I would love to see more!

........please.:fluttershysad:

692803

There will probably be more in the future. I'm already with enough on my plate, but I can do it.

After re-reading this, now I know that there's so much to improve... But it was my first, and I think a good experience. Let's see what comes later..

694252

Sweet. Looking forward to it!

That was so sweet! :)

:yay: I love it! not knowing what Ii was reading half way already and fell asleep by accident I caught up on what happened and it was really good! :twilightsmile:

i liked it, but i think a sequel or epilogue is neccessarry :twilightblush:

It's sad that they their foal can't be a pegasus.

Maybe a special case this time?

MOAR!!!!!!!!!1111111!!!!1!!

Though I thought the whole visit to the castle in canterlot was a bit rushed, I am enjoying the dialogue and want to find out MOAR! :derpyderp1:

very good, well done, Clop and all. hell the clop had an element of D'aww

[img]data:image/jpeg;base64,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 bravo sir

How did the spell decide which one would become pregnant?

822655

Twilight directed the spell of course. Though it was risky, what with her state of mind...

Enjoyed the read very much. Loved how Twilight was feeling in the heat while Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash were getting it on. Couple things I thought could have been better...

1. Soon Fluttershy reached her second orgasm and Twilight gained her first, both falling into ecstasy. Rainbow soon joined her partners, quite content despite not having received any attention lately. The three drifted into sleep not quite long after…
THIS COULD HAVE HAD A BETTER ENDDING IN THE PARGRAPH

2. Everypony was gathered at the hospital, looking through the window to the maternity ward, in which Fluttershy laid in a bed...
I FELT LIKE MAYBE THE ENDDING COULD'VE BEEN BETTER EXPLAINED IN ANOTHER CHAPTER BUT THATS JUST MY OPINION

3. OMG! My OC's name is Dusk

Anyways, thanks for a good read with a happy endding!

That was great you defiantly need to continue this with the foal growing up and possibly them adopting a Pegasus foal

Flutters during labor::fluttershysad::fluttercry::fluttershyouch::fluttershbad::flutterrage::flutterrage:

Every time I read a story that involves a couple getting a newborn, it make me yearn for one of my own. :fluttercry:

edit: Like pieces of me are missing.
I know exactly what I need, yet don't know how to get it.

First off, I love that name, "Dusk Star", just sounds bad-ass. That was a nice little story. Now I really want to see it turned into a full series. I want to see them adopt and raise two foals. I want to see the talent and the shenanigans that will most likely ensue. I look forward to reading more from you in the future. Keep up the great writing!

I Aww. Little baby ponies. :pinkiesmile: Baby ponies are so cute.:raritystarry:

I don't usually approve of threesomes but this one was amazing!!! You did a great job with this story!

“Listen, Twi, Flutters and I’d like to speak to you… in private, if that’s fine, Spike,”

Spike was left in charge of the Library the next morning, as Twilight got in the train to Canterlot.

whoa there, run-ons and superfluous commas

Finally the overflowing of emotions that had been eating at Dash
add comma after "Finally" (introductory element)

Rainbow went towards the sky to settle the weather for that day and do some practice that would help her relieve stress, leaving behind her usual rainbow trail in her rush, as Fluttershy watched her leaving.
Should add "to" before "do some practice" (parallelism)
Consider moving the absolute phrase "leaving behind her usual rainbow trail in her rush" to the beginning of the sentence.

Twilight accepted the invitation and stepped inside, while Rainbow closed the door with a slam.
again, superfluous comma

“It’s everything ok now?
typo

But we talked it over, and she is motivated for our big step.

And Fluttershy’s devotion and strong will towards it slowly got into her heart,

if you're starting a sentence with a coord. conjunction, add a comma after it.

Don’t wait for me awake, and also eat properly
something is wrong here - "awake" is a verb/adj, you need a phrase to act as the object

it was Fluttershy’s turn to kiss her, slowly but with warm,
"warm" is an adjective; "warmth" is a noun.

I also noticed you used commas after short clauses. if they can be replaced with a period and still make sense, use a semicolon instead.

please fix them so next time I come back for a second read it'll be nice and smooth :raritywink:

3345780

Thanks for taking the time to fish out mistakes. Would you perhaps be interested in working as an editor? I'm always in need of some assistance.

3360231 I can. It'd be helpful and appreciated if you used a google-doc (and share it with me) so I can highlight mistakes and comment on them.

I guess we know who the godmother is, then.
Although if you don't mind, I'm going to go headcanon her in as mother #3.

5634576
I approve this head canon!:rainbowkiss::twilightsmile::yay:
And Auntie Pinkie can be Godmother #2.:pinkiehappy:

I sure hope we delve more into this story in the future. Though I have to ask, why did you decide to make the foal a colt? Kinda surprised me that you would go against the usual F/F foal formula.

5718591

Is that a rule? I haven't read that many stories where the M6 have springoff; it just sprang out like that.

5719143
Oh, okay.
Well....not that I actually know. It just seems to be a general genetic fact, since both parents have XX chromosomes in their DNA, it's near impossible for them to end up having a male (XY) child. However, since this is a world of magical talking candy-coloured horses, there's always the possible room for exception. But yeah you're right, there aren't that many fics about the Mane 6 having offspring [btw, is English your second language?] around here (sadly).

5719211

Yep, I Just churn out the stories unedited.

TLDR version: I love it! It's not every hundred fanfics that one can find a 'having foals' story, between two mares, *and* involves getting help from a magically-proficient unicorn or alicorn, so props for that (and that fluttertwidash along with flutteraridash are pretty [nosebleed] for me)

long version: I love this, especially with the 'but there is option three' which is either rarely written, or I just barely notice it, compared to adoption(which is the most I encounter, usually Scootaloo's the adoptee) or 'sperm donor whatever' (which I am not a fan of, because personal reasons I won't get into) but I'm getting beside myself... I mean c'mon, Twi's not just some magically-talented unicorn/alicorn, she's also trained by Princess Celestia, she's bound to have some tomes lying around for that purpose

Ngl I would like it to be way longer or even transformed into longer series

“Well, girls, the spell has been casted. I … left a mess on your floor, but I hope you can understand me. I’ll go and clean myself and then leave. Have a good night.”

you couldn’t torcher that info out of me 😭

Login or register to comment