• Member Since 11th Jul, 2011
  • offline last seen Yesterday

kits


All my things are horse things!

E

Rarity can be very patient. Part of getting what you want the way you want is biding your time and bringing other ponies around to see what should be obvious. Rainbow Dash was never very good at seeing what should be obvious. But even Equestria's densest mare got the hint eventually.

Rarity is very patient. She keeps her calm as a lady should. Even if their date was to start two hours ago. Why she ever said yes to that scruffy boor of a pegasus is anypony's guess.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 19 )
PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

"What? But I just said—" Rainbow Dash paused, then chuckled. "You're going to absolutely ruin me, Rarity."

:raritywink: Ain't I stinker?

Comment posted by AtomicClop deleted Dec 30th, 2019

Well! I clicked on this because the art is similar to the RariDashDoodle I used for my recent RariDash fic.

Well, I'm so glad I did! This was excellent, and you have a gift for Rarity's voice!

9.9/10, upvote!

(And sorry about the deleted comment, I was logged in under my naughty account.)

10009903
To be fair, after failing at the first cover attempt dramatically, i did binge raridashdoodles. I probably copied something because of shear exposure.

They are a great artist and I wish o could distill that and make it an epic ballad of romance.

Sweetie has her head on straight!

You really wrote both Rarity and Rainbow perfectly in this story! Rarity's reaction at realizing how much effort Rainbow was willing to put into impressing her was perfect. I really like how you brought in the CMC at the end and their reactions were priceless!

Scootaloo looked down at her plate for a moment. When she looked back up, her eyes held an intensity that Apple Bloom hadn't seen since they'd gotten their cutie marks. "Hey, Sweetie Belle," she said. "How you doin'?"

Nice.

10010597
Thanks! I was worried the CMC scene might drawn too much away from the main point.

And thanks for the comment about writing Rarity and Dash :heart:

Rarity's ear swiveled, trying to locate wear the absolute villain was hiding herself

Think you mean "where" there.

Great story, very inkeeping with their characters and thoroughly cute besides.

That was really cute. Rarity was wonderfully Rarity in her narration, and the conflict between them was done beautifully to show off the characters' insecurities and strengths. The ending was the CMC was a nice little addendum too that was just adorable.

10012817
Thanks! I've fixed it and few others.

I mean, what are you talking about it was right all along :trixieshiftleft: :trixieshiftright:


10014215
I'm glad it came through well. I love "We're Not Flawless," but I think Dash is still lying a bit to herself with the courage to fail line. Or, at least, that it applies to things she considers herself good at and isn't a general statement of her approach towards life.

I'm also glad the CMC bit came off well. I worried that it might take away from the intimacy I wanted for the story, but I also really wanted to place the events inside a living Ponyville and not it's own Ponyville shaped island. Also, the idea of Scootaloo hitting on Sweetie because RariDash happened is too hilarious to ever ignore.

Glad to see Sweetie was paying attention.

"Rainbow starred in her eyes."
"Sweetie starred in stunned amazement."

Those should both be "stared", which is a very different word from "starred".

Scootaloo glanced down at her plate for a moment. When she looked back up, her eyes held an intensity that Apple Bloom hadn't seen since they'd gotten their cutie marks. "Hey, Sweetie Belle," she said. "How you doin'?"

Sweetie starred in stunned amazement. Then her own eyes narrowed. She tossed her head and began to stomp away.

"Sweetie?" Scootaloo asked. "I said—"

"Nope!" declared Sweetie Belle. "Nope, nope, and nope!"

And that's how Scootaloo became Joey from Friends. :rainbowlaugh:

10182095

Exactly! None of my editors got it D:

Gotta side with sweetie on that one. Big nope at families becoming quite that intermingled.

Login or register to comment