M.I.E. Missing in Equestria

by dicks212

Chapter 3: Survivalist

Operation: Survivalist

I woke up, I was starving, my body felt weak. I needed to eat. I stood at the entrance of the cave, shielding my eyes from the sun as it beat directly onto my face. My clothes reeked of old blood from the huge gash on my arm, still bleeding from my encounter with the manticore yesterday. I tore off my shirt sleeve and twisted it into a makeshift bandage, securing it tightly around my arm. The wound didn't seem infected, which was great news seeing as how with my lack of medical supplies, the smallest infection could prove fatal.

My eyes adjusted to the sunlight as I emerged from the entrance to the cave, nearly falling ten feet. I slid down to the ground and began my hunt for food. The manticore meat had rotted quickly without proper refrigeration, I was hoping that I could find some wild berries or maybe even a live animal that wouldn't try to kill me; anything that I could eat.

The sky was nearly clear, save for a small cluster of odd looking clouds hanging near the sun. I left my Kevlar vest, manticore head, and ammo pouches in the cave, I was planning on returning there after the excursion, it was a sort of base camp. On my back was slung the M4 Carbine, and my Smith was holstered over my shirt.

I stuck to the shadows as I walked, the sun was hot, and the cloud cover that moved in earlier had mysteriously dissipated in a matter of seconds. Even though the scope for the Carbine sported a compass, I always made sure that the rock face stayed in my line of sight. After about three hours of walking, I was famished, I had found nothing but trees and bushes. The only piece of the cliff side left in my field of view, was a small part of a rock sticking out above the treetops. I had gone as far as I could, but still no food; I had to move farther. I triple checked my compass, and made sure I had the proper bearings so that I wouldn't lose the HQ.

My hunger began to grow, the hours of strolling in the hot sun had taken a toll on my appetite. The sea of endless foliage appeared to have no end. Tree after tree, vine after vine. Nothing changed.

As I rounded larger tree, I saw something off in the distance; it was moving.

"Finally!" I thought, "hopefully it isn't another manticore."

Climbing to the top of a large tree, I was able to get a clear view of the moving animal. It was a zebra, but not a normal zebra.. I hastily unslung my rifle and placed the scope up to my eye in order to get a better view of the animal. There was something… strange about it. First of all, on it's flank, there appeared to be a symbol of a star. Was it owned by a tribe, and was this their marking? It also had what seemed to be looped earrings, neck rings, and a pouch hanging over it. In this pouch lay a multitude of flower petals. These weren't the only oddities, however. Something was off with this zebra; it didn't seem natural. The proportions did not resemble those of any zebra I have ever seen, it was smaller, and more compact.

"What do zebra even taste like?" I questioned

A zebra. I did not know much about wildlife and nature, but I knew that zebras were native to Africa. But, I was attacked by a manticore. Those beasts are only present in mythology. Unless, there are still massive forest regions that remain unexplored, and just happen to find myself in one of them. I finally felt a glimmer of hope. I was confident that I had pin-pointed my approximate location.

I steadied the gun and anchored it properly in my shoulder, preparing for the shot.

When I was a kid my father and I used to hunt dears, he always taught me to aim for the heart. Because if you are aiming for a head shot, and the creature turns its neck, or cranes downwards to graze, you could miss your shot and alert the animal.

I centred my scope on the heart of the zebra. I took a deep breath, and squeezed the trigger...

The trigger didn't move.

"Fuck!" I mumbled under my breathe.

I had forgotten to remove the safety. I raced to pull the pin.

Click

Now we're ready.

I raised the scope once more to my eye. The zebra began to stroll away, it seemed to be searching for more flower petals.

It's now or never

I hastily re-aligned the shot and squeezed the trigger for a second time.

BANG

The shot seemed to ring out through the entire forest.

The ground behind the zebra was painted red, and it fell to the floor, mouth agape. I slung my rifle back over my shoulder and jumped down from the tree. I began walking towards my fresh kill, I was already excited to finally get a bite of some fresh meat.

As I approached the animal, I noticed it was writhing, gasping for air. I had missed. It was hard to look at the struggling creature as I approached the writhing mass. I knelt down beside it and reached for the knife, holstered in my boot. Pulling it out, I raised it above the zebra's eye.

"I just missed your heart," I said aloud as I prepared to plunge the knife into it's skull using both of my hands.

As the knife was about to enter the eye socket of the suffering animal, it spoke...

I stopped, and lowered the knife.Was I insane? Did I actually just hear a zebra speak? This didn't seem possible, I struck it off as my mind playing tricks on me. Being alone for more than a day without human contact would obviously cause the mind to play tricks. Right? Yet, I was sure that I heard something.

Hesitating for a second, I raised my knife once more above the zebra. This time, I heard it. It had spoken aloud in some sort of language. The sound that the creature had uttered was not a desperate squeal, or a grunt of pain. It was a real word, an organised line of speech. Yet, I could not understand the language.

I looked up from the zebra, and came face to face with a row of glistening white teeth. Falling on my ass with fear, I clambered backwards across the ground until I was back to back with a tree. I stood up and got a better view at the beast. It was another manticore.

It appears that I wasn't the only one tracking the zebra.

This manticore was at least triple the size of the one I had faced earlier. It's mane was long to the point of nearly dragging across the floor, it's body was laden with scars and battle marks, and the barb on the end of the scorpion tail was the size of my torso. I froze, standing still in a mixture of fear and awe. The manticore put one paw over the still struggling zebra, but it's eyes never left mine. It put itself into a stance, not unlike that of a small cat protecting a toy and let out a massive roar the echoed in my brain and forced me to kneel to the floor, holding my head in pain. I watched helplessly as the manticore bit down with it's massive jaws, onto the tracheae of the zebra, holding that position until it stopped squirming. He then picked up his kill, still holding it in his jaws, and walked away through a bush.

I thought of following it, maybe shooting at it. But the mere thought of that monstrous creature in anger chilled me to the core.

I waited for at least 30 minutes, hoping that the manticore was as far away as possible. I finally stood, and continued my walk. I was astonished by the fact that my food had been taken right in front of my eyes. The second my eyes had laid sight on the zebra, I was excited to finally eat. The fact that I had lost it, the chance to eat, weighed down on my mood. I walked dully for hours more.

I noticed the sun beginning to set, and the moon taking it's place in the sky. I stopped and watched this transition. The sheer beauty of the stars beginning to blanket the sky, and the moon taking it's place amongst them, left my mouth agape. I was astonished by the sheer beauty of this event. The stars seemed hand crafted, they were placed delicately forming immaculate constellations, filling the night sky with a beautiful purple hue. The moon itself blanketed the ground around me in a bright light. Shadows from the trees were cast upon the ground. Under any other circumstance, these shadows would be considered eerie. But under the gaze of the beautiful satellite, the forest seemed nearly pristine and the visibility was almost better than day time. The moon seemed so close, so much bigger. The sky seemed to beautiful, too perfect to be natural.

As I continued my walk, my hunger became apparent through a series of violent growls and gargles from my stomach. But I continued to walk through the seemingly empty forest. My hopes had been raised earlier by the beauty of the sky. My whole life, I had never seen a night so pristine. I attributed the beautiful sky to lack of light pollution. I had always lived around massive cities, I guessed that the light pollution actually did make a big effect on the night sky.

The moon lumbered on through the aether, trailing across the beautiful night sky. It had been 4 hours since my encounter with the manticore, and even though I was starving, the night sky took my mind off of it. As I continued walking, I checked my compass for the first time since leaving the sight of the cliff face. It may have been a good idea to check it a scheduled intervals, something Johnson taught me. But I had been to caught up in the beauty of the sky.

"Shit! I was sure that this was north." I yelled aloud, tapping the compass furiously, hoping that it would change directions.

My compass was telling me that I was heading west, I never lose my way. My sense of direction has never failed to amaze me. So I was surprised when my compass told me that I was wrong. I continued to tap the compass, in a dumb hope that it will magically point north. To my astonishment, the arrow began to turn, and then stopped on the N.

"Ha! I knew I was right," I said aloud

But then it moved again, and pointed south, then west, then east, then south again, then north.

'Shit I thought to myself this cannot be good'

Even without a compass, I could still use the northern star to guide me. I looked straight up, nearly getting lost once again in the night's sheer beauty. I searched the stars and nebulae, but no northern star. I panicked, searching left and right. Nothing made sense, no matter where you are in the world, you should always be able to see the northern star. After twenty minutes of furious searching, I gave up, and continued walking in the direction I assumed was north. I couldn't explain any of the anomalies I had just experienced, I was too tired to question it anyways.

After twenty more minutes of walking, I spotted something off in the distance. What appeared to be a tiled rooftop. I cannot describe to you the amount of relief I felt when that object appeared over the horizon. I raced to the top of the nearest tree, nearly falling in my excitement. I removed the scope from my Carbine, and used it as a telescope, looking down the sight. I saw the tiled roof, and what appeared to be the chicken coop, of which the roof was attached to.

"My god, it would feel great to eat some chicken," I said aloud as I re-attached the scope onto the Carbine and leapt down from the tree. As I finally left the clearing, my eyes were tracked directly on the chicken coop, I looked around and spotted an old looking house. It looked slightly Victorian, other than the fact that the roof was covered with grass. Oil lanterns hung around the building, none were lit. I considered knocking on the door of the house, and maybe asking for help from the residents. But at the time, the only thing I could think about was getting food.

I crept quietly into the chicken house, using skills I had learnt in the military, I was able to move through the chicken coop without making a single sound. Even though it took five minutes to move across the floor, I was better safe than sorry. I reached for the two fattest chickens, grabbed their necks and choked them before they could squeal. I hurriedly left the coop as the two chickens I was holding were going insane, even as I held them by the neck they were squirming like crazy. I dropped the first one down on the floor, and got down on one knee. I placed the other chicken under my knee, crushing it's windpipe and holding it down. It continued to squirm. I removed my combat knife from my boot, and used the serrated edge to remove the head of the first chicken. I dropped the inanimate body, and moved on to the next chicken. Using the same technique, I easily removed the head. Blood was pouring from the bodies, and the second one was still moving, even without a head. I grabbed both of the bodies by the legs and began to walk into the forest. My plan was to set up camp in the woods, and after a good meal, I would check out the house I had seen earlier.

Just before entering the woods, I was stopped by an angry voice.

I turned to see an angry pegasus charging at me, spurting random words of a language I could not comprehend.

Yup, you read that right. A pegasus. I could not believe my eyes, another mythological creature out for my blood. It was charging furiously, it's pink mane fluttering in the wind. I stared into it's eyes. Oh god, those eyes. They caused my blood to chill with fear. I dropped the chickens and reached for my Smith.

Removing it from the holster, I lifted it to my face, and aimed directly at the charging beast. As the sight centred on the forehead of the charging pegasus, I stared directly into it's eyes. I shut my own as I squeezed the trigger.

Three shots rang out...

BANG

BANG

BANG

Comments

[dicks212]

Authors Note: (PLEASE DO NOT READ UNTIL YOU ARE FINISHED CHAPTER 3)

It's finally done! Sorry for the long wait on this one.

The Dark tag is really starting to shine, I hope we don't have any Zecora fans here, or I will get some serious shit.

Anyways, critique, grammatical corrections and suggestions are always accepted.

Shout-out to Cainiam for being a badass pre-reader. You should check out his work too! He inspired me to right this Fic. If you like Halo, he definitely has a story you should read.

Side note: 100+ internet points to the first person to notice the Hannah reference.

[Darje]

I think you're going to get some serious shit just for that cliffhanger without even considering what you did to Zecora.

[Maralagidyne]

Poor Zacora...oh well, you can't expect him to automatically know that-NO!!! NOT FLUTTERSHY!! SHE'S BEST PONY!!!!

[Crosshairs]

so... much... death

[Dead_Account_0]

Looking good man, glad to be of assistance. Keep up the good work. Unless the good work includes a dead yellow pegasus, if that's the case, STOP!

[EndGamer]

well written story, sorta sad about zecora but I can get over it, but I'm leaving if fluttershy ends up dead.

[shira]

Eh, kind of a mediocre story in my opinion. I just can't see this going anywhere good. Good luck to you.

[dicks212]

143782 I'm sorry you see it that way.

I do this in my free time, for people's enjoyment. I have had alot of fun writing this, I have plans for it. Everything that happens is for a reason. I know where I want to go with it.

May I ask why you think it is mediocre so that I may improve?

I'm sorry. I can't please everyone.

[shira]

143801

Shouldn't be your job to please everyone. Even stories I'm absolutely, madly in love with I realize that there's a reason they can't end up with a solid 5 stars, because you can't please everyone.

The 'killing spree' that our intrepid protagonist is going on seems a little overkill to me. In my mind it blocks of most of the potential for any sort of realistic plot. Assuming that he didn't just finish off Fluttershy, he's already probably killed Zecora and from how I view things Celestia isn't probably going to stand for this. Even if he DIDN'T finish them off it's going to take some amazing mental gymnastics to see how she wouldn't just end the threat to her ponies since he's made it very clear violence is his primary way of doing things.

I don't feel I have a good enough grip on Robert as a character to understand why he's doing this, while his desire for survival is understandable it clashes against the setting you've put things in and again makes me incredibly skeptical about how things will turn out.

I just feel like there needs to be a lot more, especially with what Ghost pointed out, to establish things a bit. If you're going to go around painting chunks of Equestria red I'd like to feel more attached/connected to the protagonist so that I can at least feel more for him.

Guess I just don't believably see this going anywhere that doesn't end up with Luna/Celestia turning Robert into small chunks for the safety of her people and I'm really not invested enough in Robert to care too much how he ends up. I mean he's shooting at Fluttershy, I better damn well like the guy otherwise my prior knowledge of the setting is going to make me less inclined to care what happens to him vs. the cute pastel talking ponies he's currently working on filling with lead.

I've had a lot of stories as of late take really weird, bizarre and hard to justify turns and perhaps I'm just being over sensitive to that. Don't know, but now if everyone tells me I'm not justified please feel free to ignore me. Your story, tell it how you want.

[dicks212]

143984

Wow... That was a great argument, I would like to shoot a rebuttal, if you don't mind.
cdn.overclock.net/4/4c/4cf8afae_Phoenix-wright-objection.jpeg

You see, this fic was going to start out as, you described, a mission to paint equestria red.

But I decided to turn it into an actual story, the dark tag is present for a reason. I have great plans for this. You are right, Celestia WILL NOT stand for these actions, let's just say she is going to have an input soon. Please stick with it, I am going to develop Robert more along the way, as well as explain all of the anomalies such as, the teleportation to Equestria.

If you can not tell, Robert is a shoot first, ask questions later kind of guy. Don't tell me that if a pegasus was charging at you with a death glare in it's eyes ("The Stare"), you are hungry and tired. You would not shoot it? It's personal defence, these are reflexes he developed in his hardship. Maybe, seeing as we are bronies, we would think twice before shooting a pegasus. But this guy has never heard of My Little Pony before, and the only thing he can think of right now is getting home to his children. If you want, I can make an entire chapter dedicated to a building Robert's character? Some sort of Flashback.

I can promise you that Robert will feel the responsibility for his actions soon.

I hope this cleared things up, please don't hate me

If anyone else has suggestions, I will gladly answer them.

[shira]

144072

There's dark and then there's dark done well. While it's still too early to say one way or the other yet my only real opinion of Robert is "He's a bit of a prick." Part of me keeps waiting for him to die off so we can get to the real main character. To me it's almost too shocking, war torn setup, to brief peace at home, to killing well known characters, all I can see him as now is a prick. I don't necessarily blame him for his actions, other than given how he acted around the corpse of the manticore and wasted all that meat, why does he think he'd do any better with a mini-zebra? But you're asking me to care about this character you created and he's shooting at Fluttershy! Since you're using an established setting you have an additional problem to deal with; he's not just shooting at a charging pegasus (which begs the question of how did he get a chance to close his eyes if she hit him with the stare but enough of that), he's shooting at a character we all know and love. So I am torn now, do I wait to see how this turns out in the hopes of him having some sort of redeeming qualities, or bug out before I get page long descriptions of the entrails of my favorite characters?

Just keep in mind you have a very limited amount of time to get reader's attention and keep it. I've seen so many fanfic authors say "it'll get explained or, x will become more clear," but they don't that promises of 'eventually' can sound hollow. With books you can see usually within the first couple hundred pages if the author will get his act together and if you want to invest the time into reading through the rest of it. There are even some authors out there who take more than one book to get it together (and some who never do ). Fanfiction has the additional problem that I don't have a full book to read of your work. I'm following along as it's done so as a reader I wonder, how long will I have to wait? From the opening story Robert was a bit of a coward who was willing to get in trouble to help some innocents out, but as ghost pointed out there everyone around him would have probably been willing to do the same thing. Hell they probably would have covered his ass afterwards so while he did the right thing, I don't see him as some sort of hero in tough circumstances.

I don't entirely know what you should do. I feel that you should take some of ghosts suggestions, rewrite some of the opening and maybe go into more depth on him. Get a person who's knowledgeable about the military (I know all you military Bronies are out there), clear up the inconsistencies, walk us more through his though processes early on. Make us really feel for this guy that he's just totally in over his head. You did good with the family bit but we need to understand Robert more. Why should I care about him as a protagonist? Why should I be understanding of his circumstances? Everyone wants to get back to his family, what makes him uniquely so?

There is no 'hate' here and you shouldn't be worried if it is. If you think I have a point and can improve yourself from the points I make go for it. If I seem to be some idiot who doesn't know what they're talking about then move on. Don't take criticisms personally, harsh or gentle, because they are the best ways for you to improve as a writer. I'm not saying give up, or start over, I'm just trying to point out the uphill battle you've chosen with how you've set it up for better or worse.

edit: Cleared up a couple of things. Hmmm, not sure if I like how this turned out but, meh that's enough for a post.

[ThatBastard]

Kill ALL the Equestrians >:D

[IraqLobstah]

For some reason... This chapter made me SMILE.

Aww yeaaa, Incoming "boom headshots" amirite? no? k

Cheers
~iraqlobstah

[ArtyTheReader]

NOOOOOOO FLUTTERSHYYYY