((!!THIS STORY IS BEING REBOOTED!!))
Celestia is pregnant, every pony is excited to see the newest member of the royal family!
Follow little Spero from the moment he is born throughout his life as he grows and learns about the world and what it means to be a prince of Equestria.
However those close to Celestia still have no idea who the father is and Celestia isn't telling. For little Spero it is a secret that he will continue to chase.
With villains, secrets and nobles all around the young prince, he most prevail! But with a little helps from his friends, anything is possible!
Long live the prince!
Note: It should be said the first chapters will be brief, as we will cover points in his baby years first. It will become bigger and bigger in time.
Timeline: His birth will be after the defeat of king Sombra and the return of the Crystal Empire, so like in the middle of season 3.
God, that was beautiful, keep on the good word dude
9896124
Thank you. :3
Is he a alicorn of time isnt he
HAIL PRINCE SPERO!!
Yes I’m actually enjoying this! Keep it up please! Hail to the king 👑
Hail to the king, indeed. 🔱
As the Crystal Empire was mentioned and Twilight didn't fly to make it in time for the birth, I assume the story is set sometime after Sombra's defeat?
Excellent first chapter, keep up the good work.
9896205
He is John Connor from Terminator. It will be hilarious when he finds out who his father is.
9898477
Yes, after the wedding and Sombra, and before her becoming a princess.
I enjoyed this, but a little pain before the praise.
Just a few things. This isn't a criticism, just a few things that jumped out at me while reading. Trust me I know English is a pest and that's coming from someone who has it as their first language.
You used gonna a couple of times in the narrative. It is okay to use it as part of speech to show a character's personality, but should be written as going to when in the narrative. I know, some contractions (I really didn't intend that pun) are okay in the narrative and others are not, but that's English and the sometimes loose/sometimes strict rules of writing.
Another is the oh so fun homophones (hate using the proper term, I just call them sound-alikes) which trip up people with English as a second language. For example, from Chapter 1: Luna looked at the door stealing herself as the... The quirk of homophones being they sound the same but mean different things can make for some funny mental images. In the example you have it that Luna is abducting herself. Stealing should be steeling in this case.
Excluding a few other minor structural things, it is well written. Intriguing ground work that we get to see play out while we get to see Spero grow up and all be anxious aunts and uncles as he does so.
Keep up the good work!
You're having some trouble with tenses, homophones, and which words and phrases convey different degrees of formality. Don't worry though, most English speakers have to learn these things the hard way.
Throne, rather than thrown
Should be "there," instead of here
Were, instead of was
"Gonna" is very informal, and is most fittingly used in light and casual conversation. "That X is" is very formal, to the point of extreme stuffiness that is mostly inappropriate outside of sober, reverent discussions, such as reflecting on fond memories of a dead man.
So the father is in hiding because he doesn't view himself as worth it, and to protect them. Something tells me that the very least he is on the shadows watching as much as he can. Perhaps appearing soon enough if the times ask for him, and wow Celestia really must love him and respect his wishes if she doesn't hold it against him not be present for the birth.
It also, interesting how he can't move much despite been a horse, and by nature they can stand and run almost immediately after been born, perhaps Equestria baby anatomy works different.
9900742
Thank you for the pointers, I have made the corrections you suggested and I can see they fit better.
9900755
To be honest, it was just to add a cute factor. ^^ I liked the idea of having some fun scenes with him leaning to walk and so on.
As for his father, his worries are just, but his actions are misguided. So I hope to create like a big enticingly scene when he is revealed.
So the father might not be nobility. So what?
NEWS FLASH: All noble houses started from the ground up!!
Question is... where's Blueblood?
9900926
Probably send away on a diplomatic mission or something similar. And if he is the same than in the show, maybe this baby will help him change his ways
9900765
Oh you know what could really up the cute factor? Make Spero hides inside her mother mane and pop up his little head from time to time. Like an adorable jack on the box
9903373
Oh, that is a cute idea! :3
Rats scheming in the dark.
this is going to be interesting can't wait to read more
Ah, now we finally start to see why the father hide, if not educated and train, he can become a pawn for nobility or worse at best…and giant living target for Canterlot enemies at worse.
It good to see that he was mostly only looking after his family, and not just having cold hooves. That is a good dad, although its a sad story.
Could there be a chapter were the other races come see the baby? You know like the Hippogriffs, Griffins, Dragons, reformed Changelings? I think it would be a good idea for a chapter where they come adore Sperro and give him gifts from their nations. Does that sound like a good idea? You don't have to it's your story. I'm just trying to help out a little.
Taste the Rainbow
9904398
That is a really good idea, I can do that, thank you for the suggestion :)
9904771
Sweet! Oh and don't forget about the Yaks. I forgot to mention them.
9904782
Though I should let you know, this is before the reformation of the changelings, but they will show up later as he grows older. :)
9904799
Ok
9904799
If this is before the reformation then chances are that Nova and her race are still in hiding and the citizens of Abyssinia still under the rule of the storm king so…so far I say, The Yaks, the Dragons, The crystal ponies (they are still a separate nation), the Zebras, since Zecora told that she come from a distant land, and maybe the Deers, if you want to used the kingdoms of the comics too.
9906043
I will try to use as many races and involve as much as I can as I go on.
Though it should be said that with the birth of Spero the timeline is gonna take a BIG turn. Then again that should be clear, lol. There is gonna be wars, drama, mystery, even murder, and power plays.
So thanks for sharing your thoughts so far, it helps to plan out and come up with new ideas.
things got very interesting in this chapter
this can not go well...
Boy poor Blueblood, I know you didn't wrote it, but I feel like he is feeling hurt to. You know that is something I have been thinking ever since he simple dissapear from the show. He is Celestia blood, yet Twilight succeed her.
Don't you think he on a way feel like he got replaced? Man this game got more and more interesting.
Also for a name what do you think something french perhaps? Maybe "Allouetee", like the song
9907280
I obviously can't confirm if he is a bad pony or not yet, but I did need someone two be the rival of Fancy Pants and represent the opposition and the growing disdain for the prince.
Nothing is set in stone, and I won't say he is beyond redemption, if he so needs it. Though I won't confirm it or deny it.
As for the name, it is a really good suggestion and I will add it to the list to potential names. ^^
9907346
Nice, and I understand, making conflicts is what creates a very nice story, specially in this type of games.
Great chapter and thank you for the shout out👍. A shame we couldn't see Hippogriffs but knowing that this takes place before the movie it's completely understandable. Same goes for the Changelings since this also takes before their reformation. Keep up the good work! I look forward to more.
9907452
No problem, you had a great idea that really helped me with the chapter, it was only fair.
Feel free to share more thoughts, maybe you even have a name suggestion for the daughter of Fancy and Fleur? Or any ideas to her role in the story. Anyway, feel free to share your thoughts any time, and thank you for reading!
The pieces are falling into place, and I can’t wait for the endgame outcome of who is the father.
Quick question, do the cakes already had their kids? because I can imagine a funny scene where Celestia invite them over so Spero could had a play date with him…and for her to had an excuse to order a couple dozen of her favourite cakes.
9907479
Yes, the cake twins are born. And I think when they do meet it would be during his first visit to Ponyville
9907486
Awesome and talking about babies and playing the game, I can think of a couple of things that could happen I mean any noble mother in Canterlot probably would like to approach Celestia to see the baby part to play the game, and part of their mother instincts so they would wish to know if she has any knowledge on how to raise a baby and if she would like an advice, with their own experience. After all (not immediately of course, but after like a month or so, Spero might start develop his powers, and if Twilight and Dash told us something, is that those moments is were they act more wild)
Twilight Velvet, too could show herself and the two could talk over tea about the mischievous things Twilight and Shining Armor did as particularly skill and powerful baby unicorns…and maybe Spitfire mom could also join the frame, and advice her to put the baby under the base of her wings if he start to fly everywhere without any control. Telling something, like: 'Trust me, speak from experience. He start to fly everywhere? Just put him under the base of your wing and he is out like a candle!' Nothing puts a pegasus to sleep like their mothers wings'
Just another cute idea that thought you might like
9907499
And I do like that idea, very much indeed~
Spero has a guard, now he needs someone to train him in the art of combat.
Of course, I offer my services.
9907589
Well, let me have your service record and I’ll get back to you on that.
Well , Luna is clearly going to be put on trial for that
If feel like some noble will get evidence that Luna is sending/ordering around some kind of brutal bodyguard/agent/assassin who is not restricted by law and is pardoned for every crime by Luna
It's probably especially illegal in Equestria and Luna will face trial for abuse of power
9908402
Well you are almost right about all of that, very close in fact, but there is gonna be a more in depth explanation in the next chapter. Though you are right, it is a dangerous game Luna is now playing, Celestia would not approve, not, at, all... DRAMATIC MUSIC!
🎼It was the heat of the moment!
9908540
Old flames are hard to kill.