Sweetie Belle waits for Rarity to return from a trip to Canterlot. She is desperate for her sister to come home - and desperate for her to stay away, too.
What a mess.
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 21st Oct, 2012
- offline last seen Yesterday
ObabScribbler
Author and dramatic reader from YouTube. All your pony are belong to us.
ObabScribbler
Joined 21st Oct, 2012 ·
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I can already tell this is gonna be good
And yes I did just make this comment to be the first commenter on this story
It's nice to read a little bit of drama every once in a while
Sometimes we write what we know and other times we write for release. Keep writing to sort out the reality we are in.
Hmm
I liked it, but I had to re-read a few times, because I had no idea they were talking about her mother. Just a suggestion, but could you try and make it a little clearer next time? Thanks :)
So her mother is a schizoid?
Sad about what happens but I love the sisterly bond of Rarity and Sweetie in the end. Though I was confuses at first cause the continuous line of whatamess felt like it was Sweetie that had the mental issue until I read further and realise it was their mother.
Incredibly tense, incredibly well-written.
9758363
i'd say more its more a extreme case of OCD, possibly some from of mental break.
I know a story is written well when it can make me feel things that I have no real-life experience with. I hope everyone who can see their own memories in this is in a better place now.
Cover art originally posted on Deviantart.
wow. i love this. it's an actually accurate portrayal of ocd--pretty good!
Right so a few things
First Fuck you i am at work in the break room bawling
Second off
Thank you for writing this 10/10
9758404
Can agree. My brother is actually schizophrenic. This isn't anything like that. What I've read of people with certain types of OCD, this hits the nail on the head.
welp, this is one of the best things I've read this week, and I have done some serious reading in the last 12 hours alone let me tell you.
Well....damn. That hit some emotional buttons for me. I hope you're in a better place, Obabscribbler. And if you ever do a followup to this, I'll be looking forward to it. That is some really good work.
Poor Sweetie.
In fact, poor everypony. A very well-done sad story.
A good piece. Its a interesting story that I couldn't help to wonder how growing up was. Well done and best of luck to you.
Damn, that got a lot darker then expected. Kind of want to see the conversation between Rarity and her dad as well. But as it stands that felt really intense.
Oh. Oh dear. This took a harsher turn than I expected, even with the tags. And yet, on certain levels, this feels better the impression I often get that their parents simply neglect Sweetie Belle and effectively abandon her to Rarity's care. At least with this there's a reason beyond "You can do it, so we don't have to." I wouldn't wish their mother's condition on anyone, but...
It's bizarre. It truly is. You've gotten me thinking, which is always the sign of a good story. Thank you for it.
Achingly well-written. The dialogue between Rarity and Sweetie Belle's excellent, and the build-up and revelation of what's going on at home packs a hell of an emotional punch. Nae bad at all.
Nicely written! Loved the interaction between sisters very much.
I read this and locked myself in my room in the dark and ugly cried.
Sometimes, you just need a story like this. A darkish, hurt/comfort one shot. Thank you for giving the world more of those
Love the cover art! Rarity and SB look adorable!
Oh dear...
I must admit this hits a little too close to home for me. My mother had to take meds too (she had a severe depression) - and sometimes would simply stop taking them because "she is doesn't need them anymore". Or would stop going to her therapist (or refuse to see one in the first place). The more and more frequent hospital stays when she had breakdowns... *sigh* She is at peace now, at least.
A nice story, though I'm confused on where it's taking place. I thought it was carousel boutique but not sure why rarity would knock at her own home.
Well... wow. Not what I expected but this pulled me right in and once I realized what was going on I couldn't stop reading and felt so bad for... everyone.
(a purely writing note- this fic could have used a bit more physical descriptions in between the dialogue, whether of setting, or actions, or thoughts or feelings. Just my two cents!)
It's the emotion and themes of this that really impacted me, and I feel this will be one of those stories that never quite leaves me.
I can't imagine what it must be like growing up in this kind of home, but this helped make it just that much more real. I'm not sure what sparked you to finish this, but I hope you and your loved ones are doing ok, and thank you for sharing this <3
I had a head cannon for why Sweetie Belle was staying with Rarity that was... slightly on the darker grey side of things than this... but this is good.
I'm at a loss for what more to say than that this is a very effectively written piece, and that admitting that it is personal to your experiences is most inspiring.
Not sure if it holds help or harm, but perhaps you've heard of "Next to Normal"?
"Better Than Before" (Act II)
This was my kind of story; very personal and relatable to. I love stories that get more into the personal aspects of the characters and their families. Bravo for this; checking out more from your collection of stories.
A lot of feels, but a very good story.
What can I say about this magnificent story that hasn't been said already? As someone who loves researching different mental health issues and things of the like, this story was definitely an enjoyable read and well worth the time I spent reading it, however long it took for me to get to it.
The only reason why I almost stopped reading the story was more of an issue of my perspective rather than the stellar writing. Since the story started focusing on Sweetie Belle, and judging by the way she reacted when Rarity was preparing to step into the house along with the line "what a mess" I, along with many others, thought that Rarity was speaking with their parents about Sweetie Belle. The only way I realized that they were talking about the mother was how Sweetie kept saying 'daddy' and she hardly said 'mommy', and I was able to enjoy the story in full once I did realize.
At first, I thought Cookie Crumbles had OCD since, from what I know, OCD can sometimes entail a fear of dirtiness and an overwhelming compelling desire to clean it, and it I remember correctly, someone with OCD would often clean so much until they suffer bodily harm, and the fact that Cookie cleaned the floors so hard that she peeled her hooves raw could be a clue. But her believing that her therapist was talking about her, despite everyone's reassurance, threw me for a loop because I don't remember that being a part of OCD from when I learned about it. But one person asked whether or not if Cookie was schizophrenic, and while that is a possibility, I would like to role out the possibility that she may have paranoia as that fits what we see her feeling. Now, I'm no psychiatrist by any stretch of the imagination nor did I write this story, so at the end of the day, all this is speculation.
Overall, this story was a great read and I'll definitely be coming back to this if I ever need inspiration or want a nice enjoyable one shot to read. Stupendous job.
Very touching and well written
Great job!
Very well done, Scribbler! Wonderfully written and very intense. I enjoyed it immensely.
I understand how Sweetie Belle feels in this story. I, too, have been there. Unlike her, I had no one to turn to. I'm glad she had Rarity and I hope you had someone as well.
I didn't know you can use em dashes before a dialogue (unless I'm misinterpreting it). If not, I think I want to try it out in my work.
This is one of those touchy topics that make me feel uncomfortable to approach, in real life. I have no experience with anyone with a similar condition for I have currently lived up to a mundane life so far, but I'd figure it would be something that is hellishly overwhelming to endure, especially if it's tied to your everyday life. I can see why Sweetie would just want to escape from the issue, for she has no power to fix it, and lacks the heart to endure it (she's just a child after all).
Definitely a sad story and written well to espouse those emotions of hopelessness, since it sadly feels unlikely that things may get any better.
I reviewed this story as part of Read It Later Reviews #89!
My review can be found here.
Followed here from TD's review, can't say I wasn't warned, and... Yes, it hit me solid in the ribs. You evil (censored), keep it up :)
This was a tough story to read as someone with psychosis, which I do believe was portrayed in this story. I'm sorry that the author has had bad experiences related to mental illness. Schizophrenia is a spectrum and there are wonderful people with the condition as well as terrible people. I hope that the author is in a better place now and that things continue to get better. ❤
9759194
I have psychosis and I agree that this is nothing like what me and my loved ones with the illness are like. We're just normal human beings really. Everyone experiences the illness differently though so I acknowledge that the author's experience is 100% valid.
I feel like Sweetie had a panic attack, I just going off of what i’ve seen on Dance Moms
9787413
What you said about OCD kinda sounds like Rarity When it comes to dirt lol
9762728
I’m pretty sure it’s taking place at their parents and Sweetie Belle’s house
9758382
I think the “whatamess” was Sweetie’s anxiety over her mother’s illness, but I get what you mean. Like maybe her mind breaking because of her sister always saying she’s messy?