Twilight use to love nothing more then her books and studying but now shes got her sights on something new.Big Mac.But does he like her the same way.
Chapters (3)
Katniss7123
Joined 6th Jun, 2012 ·
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Normally I'm used to leaving long detailed comments on story structure and learnig and growing. The important this is you have an idea and you're working at it.
That said... Commas. Use them. They are required.
Also, you're going to run into a lot of flamers when you have a spelling error in the first sentence.
Good luck!
I would recommend you go through and do a major overhaul on your spelling and grammar, it'll help your pacing a lot before you work on getting your story to flow.
There were alot of grammatical errors that kinda bugged me, but if you can get past all them, i liike the plot. Ill give it a like and wwill keep my eyes open for more
it's good to read over a story multiple times to check for grammatical errors and weird sounding sentences. keep that in mind for your next chapter
Thank you all for helping and being so honest. My friends will be reading it and finding errors tomorrow so hopefully it will be a bit better. Ya I have like deslexia when it comes to spelling and grammer but I
to write stories. But again thank you 
This is a really good story I can't wait to read the next chapter just be carefully with the spelling and grammer
but its really good. 
Alright, so welcome to the TwixMac community. Now, I know what you're trying to go for and I respect that. TwixMac is an overlooked pairing that doesn't get enough love. However, if you're going to attempt it you'll need to make sure how they're going to get together instead of them just going 'I now just love you.'
Grammar, spelling, and making sure you get the catch phrase right. It's Eeyup, not Yeaph. Try reading some other TwixMac stories and get a feel of it before taking the plunge.
Spellcheck bro, it's your friend not your enemy.
1125972
can you tell me whats the matter with it because I had 2 friends look over this and there should be close to no mistakes
Loved it even if it was short
Commas are good, commas are needed. Punctuation is also good.
I feel like a unicorn's horn would be like either porcupine or hedgehog spikes I don't remember which one is born with those spikes but the really soft so it doesn't put the mother when giving birth, because we seen pumpkin cake right after she was born she had a horn