When Sgt Castle drops into strange new land, he has to cope with both his nightmarish past that had followed him to this peaceful land, and his uncertain future as he finds himself developing new friendships. All he truly wants is to return home, but is that the best option, or is it not even an option at all?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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a fic where the pony isnt petrified and emediantly bucks them in the face? ......
im intrigued
1078830 Well now that you mention it i just might have Pinky bounce on his toes a few times....
Show's lot's of promise. I would suggest editing a little more closer first. But I give it a thumb's up. keep going. Also, a little more detail would be good such as what kind of weapon's he carries specifically. M-16? AK-47? what? In order to attract more reader's you're going to have to give more details. all in all though, I enjoyed it.
1085844
I'll keep that in mind, though if you don't mind me askin, where did I start screwin up with the formatin, i'll gladly go and fix the big stuff
:edit: and yeah I know there are probably close to a million i's that are not capitalized, each time I go through i find more of the stupid things....
I noticed in this sentance a grammatical error from the first chapter. "I sat up and wiped out my pistol." I'm pretty sure you ment "whipped." It's just small thing's like that. nothing amazingly bad like that story "Beyblade come's to equestria." I took one look at the discription and puked rainbow's all over my laptop
. Anyway, I can see you're still doing a good job, so just read over all the chapter's in edit mode and if you see something that looks messy just clean it up. and make another chapter already! The waiting is killing me!
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lol at the beyblade comment, im glad i wasent the only one, though im pretty sure i didnt puke rainbows.......
Anyways, new chapters up, i'm really hating typing accent now, i'm half tempted to start fazing Applejack out just so i dont have to rewrite her parts of the conversations 3 or 4 times before they even begin to start sounding like her. Though i just cant leave the Big Mac issue un-resolved and cant resolve it without some orange pony's help
EDIT: oh and another side note, if someone could conjure up a pic that would be a suitable cover that would be greatly appreciated, my artistic skills when it comes to drawing are close to nil soo......
I would recommend getting a pre-reader or an editor to help clean this up a bit.
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well if your volunteering....
1097629
Oh no... sorry, but I've got a lot of pre-reading I'm already doing. Was just suggesting.
Drunk AJ. HAHA! funny. But serously? cliff hanger?
when will I find a story that dosen't have one of those. But it's a good touch. I shall keep reading.
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It's a good writing device that keeps people coming back, and I'm not going to complain about people coming back and reading more
true that. And I just want you to know that I'm not trying to troll your story. I find it refreshing from all the sci-fi fiction stuff that's going around. anyway, keep up the good work and keep them chapter's rolling in.
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Sci-fi, hmm, maybe I need to get out of my corner and read more stories, and if your trollin your doing it in a subtle way so I really don't mind, now I just need to figure out some way to introduce rarity without resorting to "oh you must meet my friend, she make dresses hur dur"
I would suggest a chance encounter in the market where Rarity is buying supplies and your character accidently runs into her. Introductions are made and she critisises his uniform.
there yah go. thats one Idea.
Ummm.... PTSD stands for Post Tramatic Stress Disorder not Syndrome. Other than that, good chapter
1110902
thanks for the save
1110517
And how many times have I seen that done....
it probobly has been done before. other than pinkie shooting him with the party cannon and him crashing through rarity's doorway, I might have a few other idea's
1113966
Well im listening
though I haven't read another story where pinkie had shot him with a cannon, its not surprising that i'm not the only one who had thought of her doin that
well, there's alway's vinal scratches bass cannon. in case pinkie just dosen't work. The character could meet celestia and she could say that he dosen't have the proper clothing to walk around Ponyville in. I'm pretty sure a Mariene in full combat armor is a bit intimidating to pony's.
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Not a marine, thought I had said US army at several points, i'll have to check that, and shoot him with vinyl scratche's cannon? I'd rather not kill him.
who said that it would be set to max?
1114424
True, maybe if it was just set to dishwasher....maybe he would survive, maybe....
You sir are awesome I've always had dreams about this happening somehow teleporting to equestria as a soldier meeting applejack.and wahts best is that you're updating new chapters each day!
Poor Applejack! Wait a lifetime for the stallion of your dreams and he's engaged! And the wrong species! And from the wrong universe!
In Equestria, the ponies ride you! Castle should start making a list of all these facts! I loved Sweetie Bell's overreaction (and Rarity's too). Obviously the fillies of that family have excellent imaginations and atrocious tempers!
well. I never thought of that as a way fro you're "Meet rarity" idea. Ah well. Good job on the new chapter.
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I actually had alot of fun writing that chapter, just imagining the scenario and putting the characters into it just made my night better, and yeah, that's not how they where supposed to meet, I had the whole chapter planned out and had it written when i scrapped it and wrote that one in about 30 minutes
1116295
Thanks
I wish I had that ability to crank out a chapter in 30 minutes.
Got some bad news,I just got hit with a surprise range today, it'll be an all week thing, so, ill be back sometime Friday evening(local Hawaiian time), Til then, hope ya'll have fun
"Now why can't more of out adventures be at the spa and need nothin other than me to relax all day long" She thought bitterly.
APPLEJACK AT THE SPA!! LIES I SAY... no wait, I'm thinking on RD.. Carry on.
ponies don't have butts, they have flanks.. Humans have butts... Silly goose...
good chapter eager for next one
Who knew rarity could be such an asshat?
1126666
Who knew
Anyways, i think that was more because she was pissed because one of her friends nearly got killed because of a certain someone
But meh, what do I know
Okay, I'm sorry, but I got bored and this one just kinda flowed, see ya friday
ha ha i just finished reading the last chapter and then left and then i came back i felt like an idiot thinking i missed this one
So far i'm really liking this story. Keep up the great work!!
"Now why can't more of out adventures be at the spa and need nothin other than me to relax all day long"
I think that should either be "more of our adventures" or "more of my adventures". The word "out" seems like a typo. Aside from that, interesting first chapter. I wish it was longer, but since you update so quickly I guess I can forgive you
.
hahahaha i swear nice ending there
YOU'RE!!!! DEAR GOD!
1127452
Eh, it just ninja-ed its way in
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1131305
thanks
1127554
Fixed, and thanks
1145987
what? again? dammit! where?
big mac..... why is he always portrayed as over protective in every story?
.... although im saddened as i can probably predict how this conflict with mac is gonna go i shall continue to watch and wait
*fades into the shadows*
1161754
And I bet your probably wrong
And i see him as over-protective because that's what I would do If I was in his place, that is, if my sister wasn't already happily married and had a kid....
1161768 true true and im not saying i would do any different if i had a sister
but still to me anyway im slowly starting to get tired of overprotective big mac as i tend to see him as a simple laid back farmer. but i guess in many peoples minds there is only room for one chilled out brother and shining fits that bill a bit easier. and as for me guessing for how this go's we shall see. and if you do surprise me and this doesnt go with one of the scenarios in my head, then i pinkie promise to tell you and admit i was wrong. Until then i shall wait for the next chapter
More?
1161790
whoops, completely forgot about him....
1162217
GAH! Workin on it, got a chapter in the works already
WHOOOO!!!! Go Virginia!!!!!!!
Details and grammar my dear Watson!
Since reading up to this point, there were a few events in the story that I felt could've used more depth and detail as they played out. Of course, I become one of the detail-freaks when I write...
but still! Also, there are still a couple weird little word mix-ups and sentence things that dot the chapters, but other than this, the story is very enjoyable so far. I look forward to the next chapter. 
Cheers.
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yeah, but proof reader can't keep up with me.. speaking of which haven't heard from him this week....
anyways, its a standing request to point out what miffs you, usually a 100% guarantee that ill go through and fix it when i log back on
Cools story bro...
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thanks