At the bottom of Stable 10, the great generator that has kept its residents alive for centuries is beginning to fail. As solutions are sought within, one pegasus sets her sights on the very ponies who built - and possibly sabotaged - her home.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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9753516
:) It's up!
Alright yeah I'm liking this, Edoh.
9755496
Woohoo!
I just found this, I am pleased, keep up the amazing work
9756070
Hey I appreciate it! :)
Another great read! There isn't much to say that I haven't already. Love the world you're putting together and the descriptions are on point! Old injuries, cool tactical moves, awesome consequences. Just very we'll put together. Heck, I think I even caught a little Hollywood jab in there. Nice!
The journal was a great touch. I really like the year being (I assume) Celestia's age. And the year didn't change from December to January. Does that mean the year changes on the summer sun celebration instead!? That'd be pretty neat, or it could be something in the fandom I don't know about. Anyway, it may just be a mistake too, but I think it's cool.
Between chores, work, and life it's awesome to have a good read for a little eacape. Great stuff. Thanks for another chapter
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The year didn't change in January because of a very subtle artistic decision I made and not because I completely whiffed that detail. *tugs collar* Heh...
Glad you're still enjoying it! I have Chapter 9 uploaded but I'm stalling on publishing until I've gotten a bit ahead in Chapter 10. We're getting into the meat of it now. Trouble's a-brewin' ;)
As someone who's more or less invested in Fo:E... This is going great, still.
Pssh, it's just like sewing, except brains instead of cloth!
This journal is interesting. I wonder what dark and terrible secrets shall be revealed.
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Glad you're still keeping up with it!
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;) I much prefer the journal as opposed to memory orbs and magical maguffins.
Well, yeah. It's a pretty high-quality fic, ofc I'm keeping an eye on this. o7
My only big complaint with this fic so far is inconsistency with usage of Buck/fuck as profanity. I think Buck is dumb myself but if you use it that’s fine. However it should be done consistently.
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Oh wow, I honestly don't remember using buck in the early chapters but there it is! I'm going to make a point to go back and switch these over to fuck for consistency, good catch. In later chapters I can at least promise that diction levels out. XD Thank you!
Exciting! Aurora's first real fight. She's killed someone again. In self-defense, yes, but her life wasn't in immediate, visceral danger. Again, her flying put her and her friends in danger. I'm surprised that Ginger and Roach haven't mentioned it. I'd think that, as the experienced wastelanders they are, they'd know the danger of exposing themselves. I see two options here: that they legitimately didn't expect the raiders out in the middle of nowhere, or that with Roach having lost his flight and Ginger without wings in the first place, plus the fact that pegasi aren't exactly common, they're not used to one of their people flying around. I hope that one of them recognizes the danger it's putting them in, otherwise, it makes them seem less observant or experienced than they're described to be.
Nobody was badly hurt during this fight, except for maybe radiation poisoning, so I'm excited to see the group pushed further next time.
Cool seeing Roach use his magic. I'm very intrigued by the hints of what I'm guessing was his disguise/pony self during his life in Equestria pre-war. I like that Roach and Ginger both have distinct skillsets in combat, though we haven't seen what Roach can really do, given that he's limited to not using his magic near his friends.
I'm confused by the raiders not giving up, though. I'd expect that from someone dying for a cause like family or ideology, but opportunistic killers? I say opportunistic because they didn't seem like the bloodthirsty rape-and-pillage type from their lack of charging in after pinning down our heroes. I think it'd be more likely for them to turn tail and bail once their friend's neck gets popped open, especially when they don't know at all what they have to gain besides an unknown rifle. At the very least, I'd suspect that the remaining two would argue about whether or not to keep fighting and not smoothly replace the dead shooter while the spotter reports like a well-oiled machine. They don't even look angry or upset that Aurora just killed their guy. It feels dissonant. I have to ask, was this intentional?
I assume the journal entries are from that journal in the cabin? Otherwise, they kind of come out of nowhere but they add good interest to the story. After I realized that the writer's mother was Zecora, I scrolled back up and was pleasantly surprised that Mom's note rhymes. I love the window into the breakdown and corruption of Equestria by the war. Prime stuff. I just hope Teak's story ties into Aurora's somehow and isn't just set dressing. Although, if you're establishing exact dates, it'd be helpful to establish what year it currently is in the story. I think the pipbuck update lists a year in the 1200s, but I wasn't sure if that was the present because it's unclear why and how these updates are coming out. Maybe have a date written down somewhere, and a character comments that it was two years ago, or something like that.
Good work! I'm so into this story.
Also:
Small misspell.
Ah yep there's the kind of reaction I was hoping for lol