At the bottom of Stable 10, the great generator that has kept its residents alive for centuries is beginning to fail. As solutions are sought within, one pegasus sets her sights on the very ponies who built - and possibly sabotaged - her home.
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Oh my god, another update?! I feel utterly spoiled.
I couldn't find what you were hinting at in 13, but maybe this will put some questions to rest?
Congrats on the feature.
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I'm featured?! Oh, that's fantastic!
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Toss me a PM? I might be able to clarify there!
I feel kinda silly because half my feedback is left in PM's so it looks like I'm neglecting the comments! Gah!
Well, Fiona's being kinda sneaky and clearly working towards her own ends, Ironshod did EXACTLY as we suspected and stole the data he needed off Aurora's Pipbuck, Ginger and Aurora and Roach make for a happy reunion, and Twilight what on earth is going on. Seriously though, Zecora shoulda slapped a bitch.
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Fiona is definitely looking out for more than just Aurora & Co. ;)
What do you get when you mix a control freak and the immense pressure to win a stalemated war? Twilight "Micromanagement" Sparkle. Don't worry though, it only gets worse.
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We aren't even 150k words in and shit's grim, Elbow! Just how deep into this horsey nightmare are you gonna take us?! (Please take us to 600k, I love me a longfic and this has all the delightful hallmarks)
MAybe... Fiona working for the Enclave doesn't make sense, they're purists and griffins are a nope nope nope, right? She's based in Blinder's Bluff, so that'd be her main focus of influence and stability.... but if she and Blinder's Bluff aren't happy with the Steel Rangers, maybe she WOULD pass on info to the Enclave, except the info she HAS they already know too, so it wouldn't make sense for that to be her game.... Maybe the Dusties, but we don't know enough about them to make a call. ARGH.
And Jesus Christ, Twilight is rapidly going to be the princess of Not Friends, isn't she? There's no such thing as Friendly Fire, right?
Dat steamy shower scene.
Savage. *golf clap*
Oh, Twilig Sporklel...regardless of whether you become the Princess of Friendship, you're still just as great at friendship as ever. Which is to say, you fail at it. A lot.
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If it was all happy sunshine, what fun would that be? ;) By my rougb count, we're about a quarter to a third of the way in depending on whether I stick tight to the planned outline. I have zero idea how long that'll pan out to in words, but we're in the ballpark! Fiona is a confident sexbirb, that is all I can confirm.
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The shower scene took several rewrites and I'm still not entirely satisfied with it. I think I spent too much time looking at the thing. I'm glad you enjoyed it!
And yes, Twilight is a bit of a shid. We all revert to our core traits under stress and duress. Technicolor horses are no different! Expect more from her.
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Ah, alright. You might want to put that in the description, so that people (like me!) don't get the wrong impression going in.
I'm still interested, though.
9987970
I probably could have been more clear with that.
I meant that you referred to foals as fillies. Like here:
And here:
And here:
And here:
And here:Nevermind, those were all I could find.It's probably not as big a deal for most people, but calling foals fillies is one of my largest pet peeves.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2013/4/9/292459.gif
9987988
Fair point! I can whip something up today to help clarify the distinction. And I can see the confusion the terminology is creating. I'll swing in today and polish it up a bit.
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It's always nice to see a creator that actually listens to the voices of the watchers.
Ŵ̭̭͉̭̈́͗ͧ̓̿ͅE͊̌̒͐̓͋̚ ͙̰̙̋̀̊̂̆w̠̍͐ͮͅḯ̺̘̹̘̆ͯͩͧ̿l̗͎ĺ ͎̹͌̿͌̓̄ͣͤͅb̻̜̮̘̻̔̓e͚͎̘ ̟͖̹͕͎̑̉̈́ẅ̺̳͔̮̻͙̞a̝͖̓̒t̖͇̩ch͓̱ǐ͍͈͕̳̃̑ͫͬͧͦͅn̺͆ͩ̄ͧ̿̚g̙̗ͭ͒̿̊ͥ.̗
9988004
:) I know myself well enough to admit I have blinders on to my own writing, and I depend on you readers to catch the things I miss. This story ended an 11-year writing dry spell and I know it started out with a lot of rust attached!
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i.imgur.com/esKU85A.jpg
Another good one, Ellie. I see you found a way through the clouds. I like how you did it, but I still have hope for cloud walking in the future. That little hint of resistance is all my hopes need .
I enjoyed the shower scene. There was a bit of magic in that writing literally and figuratively. It felt appropriate for the scene and timing. The bits of clumsiness I detected was about right too. I see in the comments that you had some struggles with rewrites. A small suggestion I would add (though it would take a bit of magic from Fiona), how about some music to liven up the scene. (I think start with November Rain in the shower, Crazy On You with the kiss and end with Looooove Shaaaack [perhaps too on the nose]). Regardless, very nice touch with the magic elements.
Your Twilight scene hit me hard. I work with so many people that can't handle stress and their true colors come through. They can be sickening. Some motivated by money, some by power, some by popularity. Stress really shows what people are. Why can't we just handle it and help each other and do what's right. I'm ranting, but that's what good writing can do. Thats right, I blame you.....Good chapter, Ellie. I have some things to work out now.
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Glad you caught the resistance bit during the flight, it's definitely not there for nothing. ;)
The final scene between Ginger and Aurora, oy vey, I deleted more than I wrote! I'm ultimately happy with how it turned out in terms of the events themselves, but I think I could afford to sit down and polish it at some point. The challenge in writing exhausted characters is that you spend so much time trying to channel that lack of energy, you get sapped yourself. I'm glad you enjoyed it though, and it sounds like some of what I was trying to get across did! I'm not sure how I'd add music to the scene without breaking the pacing, though. Something to mull over during rewrites.
Twilight and Zecora's scene was the fastest to write out of the entire chapter. Honestly, the backstory feels like it just flies off my fingers. I think part of that comes from working with such established characters in familiar settings. Greases the wheels. But yeah, I really enjoy writing these characters under stress and duress. Twilight is such an underplayed character in the series, and I feel like her moment in the 2017 movie where she bites Pinkie's head off is the one time we really see her with a third dimension. I plan to explore that *extensively.*
More to come! Chapter 15 is plodding along slowly - I hit some major blocks that I just squeaked past - and hopefully we'll have it up and out by the weekend?
Thinking back on it, I don't think that Ginger has actually dealt with her new trauma yet. I anticipate a breakdown in the not-so-distant future.
That someone was me, laughing my everloving tail off.
Seriously, I scared my roommates by busting a gut.
So, um, is Fiona like, um, seeing anypony right now? Asking for a friend, y'know?
I know it's already written but I REALLY hope the steel Rangers don't raid stable 10 due to the marker on her pipbuck; very ominous "I already have what I need" there and those good poners and ponerinas need a break >.<