Anon is the only human in Equestria as you would already know, but here he is also the only therapist in. His business is dying, having no clients, and will have to close soon. Anon's only hope is for business to skyrocket very soon.
Chapters (7)
SoulSpirit
Joined 27th Oct, 2018 ·
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Was it intentional to make the client seem like the doctor. If so perhaps it could be better if anon reginozed the name as the doctor's alias
Okay I'm interested in seeing what rabbit hole thks goes down.
9635654
it was intentional, but only as an easter egg of sorts.
I am INTRIGUED!
You helped him, he'll help you.
The thing that's noticed in the show, everyone's miserable about something but they internalize it, or brush it off into the back of their heads till it eats at them and affects their mood. It's only convenient that in these cases, they're within range of the Mane six or "protagonists of the day" to intervene.
Anon's mistake is having an office in the Eye of Terror and home base of that world's heroes, Ponyville. It's practically within their strike range whenever someone's about to blow during a friendship mission. Fortunately, if Smith pulls through, he'll have patients that are just within the emotional threshold, and help.
How weird would it be if Twilight and Co. see this as encroaching on their "turf" so to speak?
9638164
hold it there, you speak like the mane 6 are a gang
9638469
It would be reaching if I said "Yes", though that possibility had long since passed after 'Lesson Zero'.
Seeking out "problems", is a no no
A little on the lighter side so far, but that's not a bad thing. I'm interested.
I'm definitely enjoying the story thus far, and the method of which you're easing into said story.
Looking forward to more!
Anon, Equestria's first analyst/therapist.
9674305
Apparently.
pretty good so far i like it!
Anon having answers ready for everyone's problems doesn't seem right. This is becoming more like an in-person Dear Abby than anything else.
9688528
no, but in this case, he is speaking from his own experiences and opinions. It's better than doing nothing.
9688528
he is an anon, life is sh*t for them and when it's not they are dead, so yeah having answers for almost every kind of depressing and awful thing you could think of that would require a therapist, yeah that makes sense
The next morning, I (1)was enjoying an apple as I entered my establishment, flipped the sign to open on the door, then (2)went over to my corner desk. If things went like they would on an average day, I’d receive no clients and the day will be wasted. Not that it really mattered. Unless (3)if business suddenly skyrocketed in the next few days, I would be forced to close down for good.
(1) Using the word “was” means that you, as in the character, is no longer enjoying an apple since the word was is in past tense. I recommend that you use the word “enjoyed” or “am enjoying” since that means that you, as in the character, is currently enjoying said apple.
(2) Using the word “went” means that your character is either already in the corner desk or had been there before. While I still understand what you’re trying to say, I recommend that you use “walk” since that means you, as in the character, is currently walking towards said corner desk.
(3) What do you mean by “if” exactly? Taking into consideration that the use of this word doesn’t belong here, I suggest that you replace it for “the”.
Sitting down, I tossed my apple core into the can and began to waste the day away once more. I must have been sitting there for hours. I was dreadfully bored. Then, something peculiar happened. A gray pegasus mare entered the establishment(1)
(1) May I ask, how did said pegasus mare entered the office? By the window? By just opening the door without knocking? By breaking through the wall? All of these three state the same thing. The gray pegasus mare entered the office, but I don’t know which of the three is the correct statement that you are trying to convey here.
She’s definitely got the wrong place. I wouldn’t blame her either. (1)Having a lazy eye, I can only guess what her vision’s like(1). Don’t get me wrong, I mean no offense by it. In fact, her eyes have a unique charm of their own. They(2) just confused me a little was all. The gold color of her mane and tail were also pleasant to see. Overall, she gave off a nice aura around her and it made my morning.
(1) This statement shouldn’t be worded like this because if I change the context of the words, then the entire message won’t make any sense whatsoever. For example: having a flat tire, I can only guess how hard it must be to drive like that”
(2) The use of the word they is only used to describe a large group of people or individuals. Otherwise the sentence “they dogs attacked me” would not only be a valid sentence, but also make sense.
“Good morning, Miss.” I greeted. “How may I help you?”
“A friend recommended me to come here. Are you Anonymous?” she asked. So far, everything about her tells me she’s going to be a bubbly, silly type. That’s fine though. By friend, I’m guessing she means John Smith.
“Yes, I am. Please, call me Anon instead.” she came over to the counter.
“Thank goodness, I was afraid that I found the wrong place again.” wait, did she say ‘again’? I guess she’s had a hard time.
“Well, you’re here now. How may I be of service to you?”
“Oh, right. I would like to make an appointment.”
“When would you like your appointment?” I asked as I bent down to get a pencil from the bottom drawer.
“When’s the next time you’re free?”
“Right now actually,” I grunted as I bent back up, pencil in hand. “So you can have your appointment anytime.”
“Well, I have to finish my mail route first,” she gestured to the saddlebags full of envelopes that I haven’t noticed till now. “So how about in an hour?”
“Sure. What’s your name?”
“Derpy Hooves,” she answered as she turned and left in a hurry. I wrote her appointment down for documentation.
Derpy? That can’t be her real name. Sounds more like a cruel nickname. I can only imagine her foal hood(1) with that kind of name. Hope she won’t mind discussing it. I’m also curious about what the therapy room has for her(2).
(1) Taking into consideration that the word “foalhood” is a game of words for “childhood” there shouldn’t be a space between the word “child” nor “hood”
(2) As far as the spell goes, the room doesn’t have anything for anyone. The room does change drastically for one individual to another though, so the proper way to coney what you’re saying would be “I’m also curious as to how the therapy room will be during our session” because that conveys the message that the room itself will change once she enters it.
The dreadfully boring hour passed by and the peculiar gray mare came back. This time, she brought a bag containing two muffins(1) with her.
(1) How does Anon know that there are two muffins inside a bag when he hasn’t seen what’s inside said bag?
“Good afternoon,” I greeted. “Having lunch I see.” she came over to the counter. When she did, she placed the muffins from the bag onto the counter.
“Actually, these are for you. I thought you would like to have some,” she said with an innocent smile.
Bless her soul. Usually, ponies would never pay me a second glance or even acknowledge my existence. That makes life harder than it should. This pegasus used her hard earned money to buy me some muffins. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say there was going to be a catch. However, I do know better and it made feel bad a little(1). Or guilty. At this point, I wasn’t sure. I also don’t want to hurt one like her and I knew that refusing the offer would do just that.
(1) How does someone feel bad a little, exactly? I honestly believe that you meant to write “a little bad” which actually and contextually make sense.
“Thank you, I appreciate it.” I reached over, grabbed one of the buffins(1), and bit into it. It was banana nut. I couldn’t remember the last time a merchant acknowledged me long enough for me to buy a banana(2).
(1) Care to elaborate on how a buffin (which means something made out of coarse material) suddenly turned into a muffin that tastes like banana with nut? Or are we supposed to ignore how something made out of coarse material turned without anyone noticing into a muffin with banana and nuts in it?
(2) I believe that you are contradicting yourself here. Derpy/Ditzy never bought Anon a banana, something that you declared in the same sentence.
“No problem.” Derpy had a cheerful voice and a smile that couldn’t possibly be faked.
“I hope you don’t mind that I save the other one for later.”
“It’s fine.”
“So, would you like to begin your session?” I asked.
“Yes please.” I got up as she answered.
“Alright, before we go in the back, I’m obligated to tell you that I’m required to keep any and all information about you and about what you say confidential unless if it’s for your safety.” she looked like she took comfort in hearing me say that. “Now, if you would follow me to the therapy room, we can get started.” after voicing my instructions, she came around.
I led her to the therapy room. When We(1) walked in, I was surprised at first, expecting something a little more exotic or symbolic, but the more I thought about it the more it made sense. What I walked into just some ordinary bedroom that I assumed to belong to Derpy. There was your standard bed, a nightstand next to it, a bookshelf along the wall, a dresser with a few brushes and a mirror on it, a rug in the middle, and a nice little fireplace in the corner. I proceeded to take a seat in one of the two chairs in the middle of the room, both facing each other.
(1) No need for a capital letter.
“Why do you have a replica of my room?” I heard Derpy ask as she followed me in.
“I don’t. It’s just an illusion. A spell that takes the appearance of a location the chosen occupant holds most dear. In this case, the chosen occupant is you.” I explained as she took a seat.
“Okay, that makes sense and is a lot less creepy.”
“Before moving on, there is something I would like to discuss. If you don’t mind.”
“Um...sure. What is it?” she asked, looking slightly confused.
“Your name.”
“Pardon?”
“Your name,” I repeated. “Derpy doesn’t sound like a real name. It sounds like a cruel nickname given to make fun of you. What I want to know is, what is your real name?” I explained.
She had a bashful look on her face. That alone told me that it wasn’t a common thing for her to discuss and that I probably shouldn’t have asked.
“Sorry, I probably shouldn’t push the topic. Forgive me.” I apologized.
“No, it’s okay. I’ve just never had somepony ask me for my real name. It’s Ditzy(1). Ditzy Doo. Ditzy(2) explained, sounding proud.
(1) Derpy: Foolish or stupid
Ditzy: Silly or scatterbrained.
I honestly don’t believe, not even for a second, that neither of the two names given are actually good names regarding the meaning of said name.
(2) Taking into consideration that there is no “ at the end, means that Ditzy actually said the last words of the sentence.
“Well Dittzy(1), now that we got that straightened out, how about(2) begin?” I proposed.
(1) I know that most people have to put out chapter after chapter, but don’t make these type of stupid mistakes. You wrote in the previous sentence Ditzy and now you’re writing Dittzy. I don’t believe that it would make sense for your character to introduce himself as Anonymous then change it to An0nymooose and change it again into Andinamoose.
(2)
“Sure thing, Anon Sir.” I started to really enjoy the optimism she had.
“Alright, so what seems to be the problem?” after asking that, she started looking sad.
“Actually, it’s about the name.” she pointed out. What a coincidence.
“What about it?”
“It’s been getting to me lately. I don’t know what to do about it(1).”
(1) Taking into consideration that every single place of importance (city wise I mean) of MLP FiM is based on actual cities, I imagine that legally changing her name is also an option.
So, basically, just some advice about bullying, except for an adult(1). Though, it would be wrong for me to just assume, so it wouldn’t hurt to probe for more information.
(1) Bullying isn’t an exclusive thing that only happens to young children and teenagers.
“I could give random advice, but nothing useful yet. I’m going to need some more detail first. If that’s alright.”
“Sure, that makes sense. I was given the name ‘Derpy’(1) because of how clumsy I am. Sometimes I tend to get lost where most wouldn’t and I also tend to cause accidents.” she explained. I could see where this was going.
(1) Taking into consideration that it is the parents who give their children names, I believe that there is one key word missing here. Ah yes, here we go “My parents gave me the name Derpy”. Just saying
“Okay, I’ll be honest. I’m no miracle worker. I won’t be able to stop the teasing or fix things like being clumsy. However, what I am here to do is to help you deal with it. What I need to know is if you trust me.” I explained.(1)
(1) Psychologists don’t work like this....at all I might add. Psychologists are there to either help someone understand their situation and try to convince them to get better be it by going into a different type of therapist (mainly someone who can prescribe medicine for their behavioural problems) or simply make their clients understand that it is up to them and no one else what affects them or not.
“What?”
“If you don’t trust me, then there is no point in me giving advice because then you will more than likely just ignore it.”
“O-of course I trust you.”
“Good. Tell me. Out of all of the ponies that make fun of you, how many of them are actual friends?”
“Um….none of them,” she replied.
“Exactly. That’s why neither they or what they say, matters. If you ever forget that, I know something that you won’t.” she started to look nervous.
“What’s that?” she asked.
“You heart. It’s strong(1), that I can see. If you’re ever in doubt, just listen to your heart and it’ll be your guide.” as I spike, Ditzy looked awestruck for a moment. I gave her time to process the information.
(1) If her heart is strong, then why is she here?
“I see. Thank you Anon. you have no idea how helpful you’ve been.” she finally said.
“I probably do(1)” I countered. “If that’s all, then how about we wrap up and you can continue on with your life, only now a little happier I hope.” I got up.
(1) Yeesh dude, take a compliment will you.
“Sure.” she agreed as she got up too. I lead her out of the Illusional(1,2) room and into the lobby. “So, how much do I owe you?”
(1) Illusional doesn’t start with a capital letter since there is no point/period before said word.
(2) If the room was Illusional, then that means there is no door at all because it is an illusion as well. The word you’re looking for is “enchanted” because it is and that’s where the illusion is coming from.
I didn’t want to charge her. My establishment was going to close down soon anyway. However, I did make a deal with John and I’m a man on my word. Besides, I needed something to pay for my next meal.
“Ten bits,” I answered. She poured the bits from a bag and placed a small pile on the counter.
“Good luck, Anon.”
“Same to you.” I offered. Then she left.
9688776
Bro, I see what you are doing, but I'm not sure if it's because you are one of those dicks that like to point out every possible flaw to make the writer feel retarded or if you are actually being genuine about it. If you want to edit, sure. We can talk. Just keep in mind that this story was just supposed to be a side project to keep followers busy while I worked on my main story series, Spirit. Besides, this series might stop sooner than even I want it to because I'm completely out of ideas now. I ask for a comment on your thoughts, not for every bit of flawed story bit that I literally write during my spare time at school. Again, if you want to edit, just do it on a google doc. that's what I use to type my story's on. Then I run it through Grammarly. I don't have any editors.
Just remember that the next time you do this for either myself or others, make it as clear as possible or they might just think you are just trying to be a dick to them. Just a bit of friendly advice.
9688929
Do you honestly believe that if I was a dick as you put it, that I would actually offer any valid or useful criticism of your story instead of simply calling it a POS as most trolls and actual dickheads would?
Sure, you never asked for this story which has some interesting points and makes it a little bit different from your standard Anon in Equestria, but I think that, just like with everything, it is open to be criticised in a constructive manner.
And to be honest, I don’t think that you know what I am doing since you just stated that you see what I am doing yet you doubt if I am either a troll, an ass or simply someone who offers criticism.
TLDR
You, just like every single other author that I have written a critique (per se) of their stories never asked for one, and yet I am doing this using my own free time despite me being in university and having a lot of health related problems that are being nothing more than a pain in the ass most of the time. If you don’t want my help in order to help you improve, just say the word and I will refrain from doing as such.
9689010
sorry man, people have gone that far before on one of my stories with the intention of doing so while trying to hide it. my bad, it's just really fucking late and I just got done with a REALLY stressful recording session.
This is nice, I hope to see more.
Not sure what to think about this story so far. Therapists don't really just dictate what others should think or feel about a situation, and some of the advice Anon gives is just... Bad.
I've been to a therapist. Anger issues. Went 4 times. I'd like to think it helped. Most people think it's a therapist's job to "fix" you. It's not. Their job is to help you identify what are causing you emotional distress, and offer suggestions to deal with that root-cause.
9845835
I know what you are saying, I keep that in mind when I make these chapters.
9846232
I noticed. I wrote that more for the benefit of those who read this in the future. Most people that I've spoken to seem to think that a therapist is a healing-Jesus of the mind and if they then go to see one they're furious when the therapist explains that no, they aren't and that actual change needs to come from a patient that's wiling to make the effort to change, unless it's biologically-caused depression and can be corrected by medication.
9847101
At least someone understands. I'm guessing that means you've read my comments then.
9847809
At the time that I wrote that? No. I just did my research before I went to see my therapist. I've found over the years that more often than not, general consensus on just about every subject is at least partially wrong. Any time you're going to be doing anything that involves money, or something that will affect you (or a client) in any mental fashion should be researched first.
How I noticed that was in how you wrote Anon doing his job. He never tries to pretend that he's anything more than what he is. So far his clients have had more or less very simple issues. The advice he's offered so far with exception to John Smith have been what you might expect to hear from a friend or helpful neighbor who has been around the block more than once and wants to be helpful. Most of them really just needed someone to vent to and receive a little support from a neutral party. The fact that his job entails keeping their secret struggles secret is its own weight off their shoulders.
I have to wonder how he's going to react if say, Luna comes knocking on his door one evening. That's a 3D puzzle forged in hell and turned into a rubix cube. She's betrayed her sister and nation, was in complete isolation save for an evil demon whispering in her ear and keeping her jealous fury stoked for a thousand years, then the guilt of knowing that she's done that weighing down along with likely an extreme loneliness with everyone she knew back then dead (or missing in Star-Swirl's case) dead and gone and NEVER being able to apologize to them, not to mention the belief that no apology would ever be enough- Egad, I don't envy him, or Luna. That kind of guilt on my shoulders would make me want to kill myself.
Some subtle feels shared. Nice.
9849935
yeah, I introduced a new tactic of sharing a personal secret in order to gain trust for the client to open up. Thought that would be nice.
Also, I'm wondering if anyone who reads this knows what Screwball is from.
I don't suppose Disney Fanatic gave you the idea?
9850001
Hay man, how's it going? Haven't seen you around in a while. Still love the profile picture you're rocking.
I like.~
-Ru
Well, on one hand, the sessions feel so short it strains my suspension of disblief. A couple of phrases is exchanged, and the client has a plan to try next time. But then again, I don't know how therapy works IRL so...
On the other hand, are you planning to do Shining Armor? Because I'd really expect that boy to have issues, what's with his meteoric rise to power, royal wedding and being of Sparkle family...
9852325
It's not as easy as just choosing some random character and thinking of a problem. That hardest part is thinking of a solution to their problem or a way to guide them. I will admit, I didn't do so good with Screwball but that was because she is someone else's OC and was only used in one story that's not even on FIMFiction. She is on the youtube series Daughter of Discord. Besides, this story (as much as it should) isn't my priority. I started it to have something to post in the time it took for me to decide whether or not I wanted to make a sequel to One Way Trip. I'm only still writing this story because it somehow reached over 100 likes with just 4 chapters. So I'm trying to write 2 stories at once while also keeping up with school, my twitch streams, normal stresses of everyday life and being the main moderator on a Discord server. Just saying that it ain't easy always trying to find time to write, let alone write good.
9856802
Well, I'm not saying you write so badly you should just stop. Just pointed out something that struck me as odd, given the overall quality of the story itself. Other people pointed that out, too.
I admit, you seem to be in a bit of a pickle here. The area is so specific that most readers wouldn't know about it, so either you write interesting (only for someone to point out that "that's not how it works!"), or you write realistic and have noone believe you (because reality is often unrealistic).
I really hope you figure it out in the end, and wish you best luck.
9850007
Can't complain
And if it doesn't, go Majin Buu on their butts: Turn them into chocolate, and declare it to be Snack Time. (Actually, don't do that! That's terrible advice!)
I've heard the Peaceful option a lot of times growing up. Sadly, that has never worked for me. In the end, it was violence that solved it. Yeah, we both got in trouble from the faculty, but the pricks left me alone after that. Hopefully things go better for her than they did for me.
Well, it's official.
He
Is
Homeless
No more.
I was hoping Celestia was hiring him to deal with her relationship with Luna. Despite loving each other dearly, both siblings cannot stop themselves from bickering from time to time due to their different personalities.
No! Don't tease like that!! Where's the reeeeeeesssst!!!
9891783
That is it. Don't you remember at the beginning, seven days. One week. It's up. Everything has a beginning and everything has an end. Nothing is sad until it's over. Besides, I have another project in store as I mentioned.
9891839
Oh.
...
...
Good Luck!
I know you want to do it with a fresh anon but, i feel like you could use this one rather well. It's a pretty common trope of a butler or waiting staff giving rather smart advice, and that mixed with the "fish out of water" of him not used to working as waiting staff could be cool.
But at the end of the day it's your story if you want to start afresh, go for it. Might even keep an eye out for it myself
9892048
The next story I have in mind for Anon requires a whole new personality and it gives him a new background. I just like the leeway.
This was a good little story. I enjoyed it for what it was. I look forward to your next one :)
Nice story man 10 out of 10 from Me
9892452
9892592
Thanks. It's people like you that let me know that I'm doing something right. Thank both of you for your input.
I enjoyed this story.
I know this reference! IT'S UNDERTALE!!!