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A Parting of Ways264 words
The Great and Powerful...842 words
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Darkness Rising

Chapter Two: Darkness Rising

The party of seven reached the top of the spire. Twilight hushed the group. “Look.” she whispered, pointing to the courtyard. “She is meditating – she doesn't know we're here.”

“This is our final chance. If any among you wishes to leave, then go now.”

The Great and Powerful Akama stuck her nose up. “I'll go... guard the door, in case we get company.” She gave a fierce glance to the skeptical group, then galloped down the stairs.

“Alright, it's now or never. Let's go.” Twilight said. Cautiously they approached the dark figure lying down. The lightning cracked again, and the mare stood up. “Akama... I should have slaughtered you and your malformed brethren long ago-- Wait, where's Akama?”

“Cut the theatrics, Nightmare Moon. We're here to end your evil reign!” Rainbow shouted.

Nightmare Moon sighed. “Fine, have it your way.” Her grimace darkened as her horn lit up. The group was blown away by a dark magic explosion. Twilight struggled to her feet, then lit her horn up in defensive magic. The dark mare smiled, then hopped up on her hind legs, screeching into the sky. Moments later, a swarm of foul, slimy demons dropped into the courtyard.

“Get rid of these monsters!” Twilight yelled, “I can handle Nightmare!” As she said that, her horn's glow doubled in strength, and she strained to channel the energy to fight her foe.

Rainbow Dash drew her holy hammer and took flight. She bolted around, splattering the gooey demons with sweep after sweep of her mighty weapon. Nearby, Fluttershy spun around, sending a flurry of knives in a graceful arc.

Applejack was backed into a corner. She let out a fierce war cry and went berserk, bucking everything in her way. She cleared a path to Rarity, whose horn lit up, healing the orange mare's bruises and empowering her to battle on. Pinkie Pie pranced around laying traps for the foul demons as Gummy distracted one, gumming it ceaselessly.

As their magical duel went on, Twilight seemed to gain the upper hand. However, the slime creatures soon overwhelmed the party, surrounding them. Nightmare's horn emitted a large burst of magic, freezing the party in place. It pulsed again, killing all of her demon followers.

“Is this it, mortals? Is this all the fury you can muster?”

A grey mare appeared from the shadows. “Their fury pales before mine, Luna. We have some … unsettled business between us.”

“Derpy Hooves. How is it even possible?”

“Ah, my long hunt is finally over. Today, Justice will be done!”
Derpy attacked Nightmare, causing a momentary lapse in the grip of her magical prison. Twilight's horn lit up, breaking everyone free of their bonds. She then went on the offensive. Rarity assisted as best she could, while Pinkie and the others stood on, watching. Rainbow shot upward, clearing the magically dark sky. A beam of light shot through, landing right on Nightmare Moon. She screamed out in agony, collapsing to the ground.

Derpy spoke to her fallen foe. “It is over. You are beaten.”

“You have won... Derpy.” she struggled to say. “But the huntress... is nothing without the hunt. You... are nothing.. without... me....” her eyes closed and she died.

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The eight friends cheered. Luna's voice crackled over the voice chat system. “You guys cheated! No fair!”

“All's fair in love and war, Princess.” Rarity said with pride.

“But Twilight was using that strategy guide!” Luna whined.

“That's just us using the tools we have, sugar cube.” Applejack laughed.

“I hate this game, I'm leaving.” Luna ripped off her headset and stormed out of her room in Canterlot.

“Oh, no,” Fluttershy said, “I hope we didn't hurt her feelings too bad.”

“Not to worry,” Celestia's voice came through. “She just takes her games a little too seriously. And she's probably a little jealous of my Tier 11 set!”

Everypony shared a good laugh, and Bon-Bon called down the stairs. “The muffins are done!”

“Muffins!” Derpy cried with glee, charging out of Lyra and Bon-Bon's basement. The others soon followed.

After they finished their treats, Rainbow Dash piped up, “Alright, everypony, who's ready for Icecrown Citadel?”

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Midnight Moon

Midnight Moon #1 · Sep 25th, 2011 · · ·

This is, by far, one of the most interesting stories I've ever had the pleasure of reading. Which makes it far more obvious that it is WAY too short. The fact that you skipped all of the bosses along the way to Illidan/Nightmare Moon was nearly painful. And making Fluttershy a rogue and Pinkie Pie a hunter? Bad choice. If they switched roles, it would be much better, or if you made Fluttershy a druid instead.

Fluttershy as a rogue, especially in the way you portrayed her, just goes against her nature. Rogues are assassins, and, frankly, Fluttershy being evil enough to kill ponies in cold blood, in such a stealthy manner, just doesn't make sense. As a hunter, she would be able to make great friends with all kinds of animals, which seems much more like her. Being a druid, on the other hand, does the same thing, plus add a much deeper connection with nature, and adds the option of her healing her friends as well, even if you have Rarity filling that role as the priest.

I understand your reasoning for making Pinkie a hunter. Gummy as a pet makes sense, and the traps could be her "party favors" or pranks, but I think she'd fit better as a rogue. She's random and full of tricks, and Rogues have plenty of tricks up their sleeves (would ponies have sleeves?). And as the one with the most access to, well, everything, I'm sure she'd be able to find a few poisons somewhere. Although, I admit it's hard to imagine her being quite like a rogue. But she still manages to get to allot of places without anyone knowing how. That could explain the stealthing powers rogues have

And if your going to make an Icecrown Citadel raid, like you hinted, then you better come up with a good back story for it. One big theme near the end of the fight has to do with Arthas's farther breaking out of the sword to confront his son and rez the raid after he insta-kills them. For whoever you're going to have as The Lich King, you're going to need to make a father/mother for him/her. And since the only parent types I've seen in the show are Mr. and Mrs. Cake (and possibly Chief Thunderhooves for Little Strongheart, but I have trouble seeing that little thing as the Lich King), you're going to need to make an OC pony for it, possibly two if you can't decide on a good character for him in the original cast.

Or, if you're going to turn the Icecrown Citadel dungeon into the raid, you'll need to give the Arthas pony a love interest, if you're doing this from an Alliance perspective (Jaina), or a reasonably pissed off undead pony, if you're doing it form a Horde perspective (Sylvanas). I understand, creating either would be a difficult task, but if you want to go for realism, one or the other will have to be made.

And as long as I'm on the subject, which side are the Mane 6 on: Alliance or Horde? Alliance seems more civilized and understanding, fitting the pony culture, but the Horde is far more connected to nature, suiting well with an Equestria so connected to the world around them. Although the Night Elves are the most nature-based race in the game, fitting the farming-based ponies with the mining-based Dwarves and technology-based Gnomes doesn't make much sense to this brony.

Of course, the last is assuming that there even are different races or even factions in your story. You could get away with saying that all the ponies work together in the world you made up, or even just divide two groups into the different factions, but I don't see how you would be able to bring in the different races (besides the Undead Forsaken). Feel free to just forget the other races, that was just me rambling.

But, all things considered, you made this into a very interesting crossover. Personally, I didn't think a WoW/MLP:FiM could work! Ponies just don't seem violent enough for stuff like that. The little bit at the end was especially clever! You defiantly have skill, but you might need to work a bit more on lengthiness, and keeping the ponies in character, but otherwise, you're good all over.

iFiredone