- Member Since 31st Mar, 2017
- offline last seen Mar 10th, 2021
HeartfireFirebrand
A leaner of SFM who writes ocassionally
HeartfireFirebrand
Joined 31st Mar, 2017 ·
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- Kikio3000 · 2.5k words · 25 4 · 2.6k views
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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its ok nice work.
It's rushed.
I agree with diablo4000 you rushed it
9613139
So how do you want me to fix it? I want to do this story justice.
I not a story rider so take my advice with a grain salt put more detail with way they do what they do and there thought proces and make the chapter more natral with there ation
9614930
I rewrote the chapter so tell me what you think.
nice work.
9618266
Thanks, I hope some others read this as well.
nice work.
9621903
Thanks
nice work.
Well, being the good person that I am, I say CHAOTIC EVIL ALL THE WAY! AHAHA! THE WORLD SHALL BURN!!! Ahem. Whoops. Got carried away there for a second.
I do belive Sunset is in a nice spot of neutral evil. She will find a way to complete her objetives no matter the cost, to a degree at least.
9627201
I do have plans for her to bump into her Equestrian counterpart at some point.
9627204
Looking forward to it. I woder how different they will be.
9627206
It won't be for a while though, there is at least one thousand years between the two time periods.
9627216
Gotcha.
nice work.
9629027
Thanks
"Sunset gets violent when she is pissed". Understatement of the fucking century my friend.
9630139
Yep.
9630196
"Sometimes the simplest statements sum everything up perfectly" - Ghandi, probably.
nice work.
9632269
Thanks
so is flutershy sans?
9632305
for perceptiveness.
Yes, I don't know whether you're the first one to notice it but you are the first one to comment about it so you get a point
nice work.
9635619
Thanks
nice work.
9642025
Thanks
This story is great, it's just - like everything else in life and life itself - it could always benefit from a few more doggos.
nice work.
9642237
Well this is a very pony centric underground.
9642888
I know, but doggos are doggos. Why not diamond doggos?
9643208
My focus was elsewhere. I have a few more chapters planned before the route change.
9643237
Okay. I shall respect your wishes, author man/woman.
9643241
For future refernce I am male. Also if you want a name call me Heartfire, it's my main online name.
nice work.
9643380
Thanks
nice work.
ok nice work on both chapters.
9643640
Thanks
9643638
Thanks
Needs to be like 20% slower.
nice work.
9645600
Thanks
nice work.
9647894
Thanks
The scene where Sunset breaks the barrier reminds ne of Bendy and the Ink Machine Chapter 5, when Alice is talking about what she needs to get through the door, and Boris just punches the thing open. Is that what you were going for?
Also: SUNSET SMASH PUNY BARRIER!!!
nice work.
