Gore warning
Do the sensible thing and panic 76%
Fluttershy's rate of breathing increased considerably at the sight of the dead bodies, not that the pegasus had never seen a creature get killed, she was friends with predators after all, but never had she seen so many creatures be killed this quickly. The contents of her stomach rose up her throat and were emptied next to the crate she had hidden behind.
"Are you okay?" One of the creatures from the new groups asked the suited one who had positioned herself between her and the newcomers, not that this registered in Fluttershy's mind anyway.
T-they're going to kill me! I need to get out... out... OUT
Scrambling to her hooves Fluttershy jumped over the crates and bolted away from the strange creatures...
... slipping over blue liquid that pooled on the metal floor next to the corpse of the bone faced creature. It took over a second of staring at the dead creature for her to realize that this wasn't just any liquid, this was blood, the creature's blood. If it wasn't for the fact that she had already thrown up she would have done it again. The yellow pegasus jumped out of the pool of blood and tried scrubbing the blood out of her coat, only for the blood on her hooves to stain it even further.
In her momentary distraction didn't notice one of the creatures had approached until it had wrapped its arms around her. Fluttershy whinnied with a volume uncharacteristic of the pegasus while struggling to get her forelegs loose from the grip she found herself in, failing as the creature's arms didn't budge under her assault.
Fluttershy continued struggling until she heard the creature... singing? Looking at the arms that surrounded her she found them to be the same as the masked creature that had stood next to her moments ago, this finally broke the dam that had been holding back all the stress and the pegasus broke down sobbing in the arms of the creature who slowly rocked her as she sang.
"Hey there little one, don't be scared. We're not going to hurt you, unlike those bosh'tets." The creature softly told her as her lullaby came to an end.
"O-okay." Fluttershy whimpered back, the creature jolting in surprise making Fluttershy cringe.
"Keelah, did your translators pick that up as well?" The creature holding the pegasus asked the three others who had approached the pair that sat on the floor, nodding in confirmation. "Can you tell us your name?" it asked as it turned it's attention back to the pegasus.
"F-Fluttershy,"
The creature stroked through Fluttershy's hair in an attempt to put her further at ease. "Okay Fluttershy, can you tell me where you are from?" The pegasus nodded and started telling about Equestria and how Twilight had dragged her and the other girls along to go explore the ruin, the group meanwhile moved out of the alleyway into one of the flying carts.
Introductions were also made after they entered the cart, the creature that had comforted Fluttershy after her panic was called Tali Zorah and was from a race apparently called the quarians.
The second creature to introduce itself was the leader of the group of three, a human who called himself Commander Shepard of the Alliance navy, from what Fluttershy understood he was part of a guard organization of some sort.
Following on Shepard's introduction was Garrus Vakarian of the turian race, apparently he had been chasing a criminal but couldn't find definite proof until Tali had found some which was the reason they had come for her.
That left the last member of the group, Wrex a krogan. Fluttershy couldn't help but be uncomfortable around the krogan as he sported vicious claw marks on the scale that covered his forehead and his armor looked as if it had been well used, it also didn't help that Wrex had told her that he was a mercenary and would fight for money.
After the transport shuttle landed Tali carried the little pegasus with her into the human embassy where they would be speaking to the human ambassador, a man called Udina. "You're not making my life easy, Shepard. Firefights in the Wards an all-out assault on Chora's den, do you know how many..." The ambassador stopped talking as he saw Tali and Fluttershy, "...Would you mind telling me why there's a quarian carrying a pegasus into my office."
"The quarian is going to make you very happy, as for the pegasus she's an unfortunate traveler. You might have heard about an incident here on the presidium this afternoon." Shepard answered, Fluttershy ducked behind her mane as the ambassador scrutinized her and Tali.
"Yes... I'd like to hear about that later, now what has this quarian to offer to us?" He asked, Tali put down the pegasus who immediately hid behind Garrus who positioned himself in such a way that Fluttershy could hide behind his legs. The turian already having figured out the extent of the pegasus's shyness.
"My name is Tali Zorah nar Rayya, I was on my pilgrimage when I started receiving reports that geth were traveling beyond the perseus veil me and a few other pilgrims decided to investigate." Tali started, "We ambushed a lone geth and pulled its memory core."
"I thought The geth fried their memory core when they died?" Captain Anderson, the second man who had been in the office asked inquisitively.
"My people made the geth, remember? If your quick, careful, and lucky you can preserve some cashes of data. I salvaged this from its data banks." Tali answered while tapping a few instructions on a glowing hologram of some sort that had appeared around her left arm.
"Eden prime was a major victory the beacon has brought us one step closer to the conduit..." A voice started, Fluttershy meanwhile did her best to hide even further behind her mane as a second voice continued, "And one step closer to the return of the Reapers"
"Uhm, what are the Reapers? If I... may...ask... eep!" Fluttershy whimpered back behind Garrus's legs as the attention of the room turned towards her,
"The according to the geth, the Reapers were a hyper-advanced machine race that wiped out the protheans fifty-thousand years ago. The Geth seem to revere them as gods." Tali answered drawing the attention back to her, Shepard head perking up at the new information.
"That would be an explanation of the vision the prothean beacon gave me." He theorized.
"The council won't believe this talk about 'Reapers' but it does prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that Saren has gone rogue," Udina said, cutting off any further discussion on whatever the Reapers were supposed to be, "I'm going to request an emergency meeting of the council now, be ready to join me in session commander."
Shepard nodded and motioned for the others to follow him out of the office, after the door closed behind the group he turned to Tali. "So, now you've given us the evidence are you going to continue your pilgrimage?"
The quarian shook her head, "If you'd have me I'd like to join you on your mission commander." She said wringing her hands, nervous of what the Commander would tell her.
"What about your pilgrimage? isn't that important as well?" Shepard asked.
"The pilgrimage proves we are willing to give of ourselves for the greater good, if what you say is true then the galaxy is at risk, my pilgrimage can wait," Tali said resolutely, a small smile creeping onto Shepard's face.
"In that case, welcome to the team." He told the quarian, turning to Fluttershy afterward, "If you want you can accompany us as well."
"I don't think I'd be very useful for your mission, I'm no soldier." Fluttershy answered, her ears drooping flat against her head and looked down at her hooves.
Shepard crouched down and raised Fluttershy's head to look her in the eyes, "I'll need more than soldiers to take Saren down, I'm sure Captain Anderson has an open spot for you on the Normandy, we were running a skeleton crew anyway. Now is there anything in particular you can do?"
1. I can understand and talk to animals
2. I know how to treat sick and wounded animals
3. I can use the stare
Fight.
Pity your not going with femshep, (love Jennifer Hales voice), but it’ll be interesting to see how Fluttershy’s presence changes things.
Alright ... we'll see where this goes ...
do you perhaps mean 'between her and the newcomers'?
told her as her lullaby came to an end
in the Wards, an all out assault
You also have several other cases of not capitalizing names, such as Geth or Perseus Veil
you also wrote get instead of Geth at one point.
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Yeah, I guess I need to update my grammar program , I'll make sure it's fixed before releasing the next chapter
I thought CYOAs were a literature-only thing.
Auto Spell and Auto Grammar still gets it wrong.
get -> Geth
cashes -> cache(s)
Pacing is Michael Bay level (like watching a movie trailer that's movie length)
Also everyone automatically knows what a MLP Pegasus is? Are they a thing in the galactic codex?
I see somewhat good Mass effect story, my brain goes like this:
"You can fight like a krogan, run like a leopard, but you'll never be better than Commander Sheperd!"
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...no matter what scars you bear
whatever uniform you wear...
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You might notice that only the human characters called Shy a pegasus and as for the others; Garrus is C-sec and most likely sees a lot random shit so I don't see him batting an eyelash, Wrex is a mercenary so the same goes for him, and I simply don't see Tali doing anything rash to a creature that's panicking. Though that said, the council might make a slightly bigger deal out of a new species.
As for the pacing, I inserted Fluttershy right at the end of ME1's first act so that should level out a bit as they get to the Normandy.
Wrex, a krogan.
First, you wrote Shepard as a male, but everypony know Shepard was a women. ;)
(Sorry, imo male voice actor for Shepard was very weak.)
Second, I truly hoped it to happen not as a another telling of ME1, but, if rather some distant, with maybe few cameos or some big things like First Battle for Citadel.
I have to say, I lost interest in this story because of this. Still, I'm going to give it a try for few more chapters, but, well... exceptations are now very, very high (your writing should at least compare to the two imo greatest story of ME/MLP), and low at the same time (well... I chapters are really short and feel a little rushed, like you want to skip "boring parts" and write few most liked chapters).
Still, if this comment hurt you... well, ignore it and have fun writing it. That is the most important thing, right?
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encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQric4xf_Ofn9s3ySOPUkzRrc2XpRyPdwXDL46MLp-sB2wOF_sx
Please note this is only a joke
Ahh, it’s a CYOA so some things can be forgiven, but the pacing of this story is extremely fast. Right from the get-go it’s full of exposition, with things going by so quickly the characters involved don’t even react to what’s happening. They’re nonchalant and dismissive, up to the point that the MC, Fluttershy, is being abruptly thrown into the storyline with no rhyme or reason.
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yeah, I started off with a pace that was way too fast. It slows down a couple of chapters in.
you're
caches
The initial introduction was what gave me the idea, but this is what confirmed it. So, this starts at the very beginning, eh? I wonder how far the story will go. If it only goes as far as Sovereigns (I think that's how you spell it's name. It's, not his. It is an AI after all.) attack on the Citadel, then the story is almost complete. If it goes as far as ME3's ending, then yay and hopefully Shepard chooses the option that leads to the Normandy SR-2 crashing, and the author uses that opportunity to bring in a possible sequel reintroducing Equestria. Of course, that would be the best case scenario for me, and best case scenarios tend not to happen.
Flutters speak one on the Citadel known languages?
This is a vastly different way of making a book using a voting system. How peculiar.
I really like how you included the end result for the vote, not many do that
To every sane man, this would be one hell of a strange start to a day.
I would vote 'i can talk to animals'. A linguistic expert is a golden boon, always.
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There is at least one FemShepard story with MLP that is awesome, still in work and with activ writer like this one. Ponys in space is fun, ponys in ME Universe epic ♡
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The Internet is a beautyful place
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Human mythology, but if i did expected to read about Unicorns and Pegasus than it would be Udina...
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A reader of class i see
*sips from teapott*
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Dear god... The earworm is years later still coming back
I love it
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This will be fun, funny, tragic, dark, brutal and absolutly epic...
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Pretty sure it's THE KROGAN RAWWWW
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Don't diss MaleShepard and Tali! It's awesome!
Than again so is FemShepard and Garrus
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The internet is a beautyful place
*tear of liquid pride rolls down the cheek*
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With what we have at 2022 i think it's still awesome
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Still it's a herd of fun worth
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It's now 2022 and we finished ME1 and 2 and got to three and the Journey was long and epic...
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Or all of them 'dun duun DUUUN'!
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Really? Neat... Damn fine Avatar pony picture
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Got to love the attention to detail
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Sanity is overrated if you are behind a Spector fighting with Geth to bring back a Maschine race that harvest organic races for countless millenia for... Reasons...
I see. This is early on in the first Mass Effect game.
I must sat that the option that was chosen for this chapter is also the most in character for Fluttershy. I'm curious to see where this will go next.
I can see Fluttershy ask a thrasher maws to please eat the enemy and Shepard just remarking that sure is one way of ammo conservation.
after the choice polls close they should be removed from their respective chapter's because it feels inorganic remaining there in my super duper humble opinion