Always looking to learn and enhance my craft as well as share in the fandom fun.
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When a mysterious zebra appears in Ponyville, the darkness of Zecora's past is brought to light. With Apple Bloom and her friends at her side, Zecora finds to strength to face this threat head on and bury the demons of her past once and for all.
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I'm definitely following this if no for other reason than because it's the best glimpse yet into a possible backstory for Zecora, something I don't think we're going to get in the show.
Overall, the writing style isn't that interesting and is a little dry. Interesting concept but the execution was just too boring to capture my attention.
nice try with it. need to work on your execution. you got a nice concept here but you need to work on bringing that concept to life.
Ahh! Word Wall!
You're really good at your dialogue tags. The flow is amazing and Zecora's speech was captured very well. Great job on the mechanics of creative writing.
Not bad but I feel like the ending was kind of abrupt.
This story was really good, albeit a little rough around the edges. It probably could've used some extra editing (the textwalling is the biggest issue), but I still enjoyed it quite a bit.
Have a Thumbs Up!
9556737
Thank you for the thumb up and for your notes. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Wow.. I haven't considered Zecora's past that much. I liked reading something that featured Zecora in a way people don't always think about. This was nicely done, you have my upvote!
9834543
Thank you. Zecora kind of got shafted by the show itself so, in lieu of a slightly darker nature, I wanted to give her an origin that would fit into the canon.
So, you have a very, very strong command of Zecora's rhyming speech, and that is extremely impressive! Far better than when I try.
The story's got me hooked so far, but if I could offer one recommendation: This paragraph is waayy too long. For Zecora specifically, I might consider rendering her long speeches like this, when she goes into full narrator mode, as a poem. It would also help with the general flow and structure of the piece.
But yeah, awesome job!
9836089
Thanks. Going into this project, I knew writing good dialogue for Zecora at length was going to be a challenge. I feel you about that paragraph, others have mentioned it in similar fashion. Zecora's natural speech pattern automatically makes things extremely wordy; I do like the idea of breaking it up more like a poem though. I'll see what I can do to trim its fat. 👍
That was grand!
9865215
Thanks, glad you enjoyed it. I really like this story and it kind of flew under the radar upon release; happy some people are still checking it out.