Using the time travel spell, she decides to travel to alternate timelines to find out what the life of the ponies in the alternate timeline is like. Twilight Sparkle arrives in alternative timeline that leaves her quite surprised. Luna is the ruler of Equestria and not Celestia. Sunset Shimmer is the Princess Luna student. After this shock, she explores this different Equestria and tries to accept this alternate timeline and return home and tell Spike.
Twilight Sparkle vector belongs to Eagle1Division
Background belongs to Ambassad0r
Chapters (4)
9513262
HOLY SHIT
that is epic!!!
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This deserves a bit of attention, it's a decent idea, and while not perfect, decent exacution so far, on to the next chapter
Just one thing to say: SLOW THE HELL DOWN
Me, trying to read this.
Interesting start.
So I'm guessing Twilight hasn't met her Sunset yet
Wow I’m so excited to see what happens next. I’m really enjoying this story!!
Chrysalis is the Princess of Love!?
9514535
Yes
9514540
omg, I wonder what for!?
You should try to slow it down a little. Give us some descriptions of the characters. Have them talk more than they do. Example: “I’m from another timeline, you see...” “YOU’RE FROM ANOTHER TIMELINE?! HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?!”
Then describe how and have them talk about it instead of running further. I really don’t see how someone would just say ‘It makes sense’ to someone who just said that they’re from another timeline. Just a little work and this will be gold :)
This is to fast try going for 2000-3000 words a chapter exept for a fast story that need to slow down it is nice kip it up 😎
Wow, that was great.
Great story, but I felt that this ended too quickly.
Great. But a little rushed ;)
Ok, I'll emit that this is a great ide buuuuut...
The exicution is absolut rubish.
1. You are going WAY to fast. Slowdown and let the ponis talk and allso disgribe the enviroment so to betteer show the difrences between the timelines.
2. Why is every one so quick to exapt that Twilight is from another timeline? Have they delt whit it before? Extrapolat or let there be some dissbelif.
3. Why did Celestia turn back in to Daybreaker?
My sugestion is that you make a tottal rewright and use this as a rough timline for the story and how some of the scens go and I say ther is a great story to be had.
// DarkFeather
So why did the ponies become nocturnal?
I'm working on a story where the portal in the quicksand in "EQG: Spring Breakdown" leads to Nazi-occupied Ukraine and history accidentally gets altered. The three must do whatever it takes to restore the original timeline. How does that sound?
9590463
They are nocturnal because they prefer more the night than the day
9590468
And is there a particular reason for that?
9590472
No. It's just a timeline where it's the opposite of the original universe
9518165
I mean like it sorta makes senses
Best line ever!
Princess of food! But what happened to Cadance then?
The thing that needs to be done here is encapsulated in the question: why?
Everything is mere bullet points with no explanation behind anything. A little expiration can go a long way.
10044375
Cadence is the Queen of the Changelings
10044586
Sure, sure, but that is only ever assumed. We never see it.
The grammar...
And if I could dislike my own comment, I would.
10044586
I had something similar but it was for evil twilight henchman. It’s actually inspired by two comics the boys and Rick Veitch’s Brat Pack. I put the idea on the forum for this group I’m in actually.
9513811
You do realize that this is set after Equestria Girls, right?
11059188
I forgot the story existed
It's not even good timeline if Luna has two students and Celestia didn't. Also Garble is Sunset pet dragon?
Just like that Luna believes Twilight?? Jumping to parallel timelines isn't a common occurrence in the mlp world and I doubt Luna experienced it herself. She should've been way more skeptical here.
This is not how Celestia would introduce herself. Going by this timelines version where Celestia was sealed for 1000 years, should logically speak in old English while also using a royal greeting, she uses neither here.
I have to agree with Hardie-Boy, the story goes WAY too fast for its own good. Everything is rushed and the characters don't act like how they should be.
This chapter can be summarized like this as a result of the rushed script:
Luna: Say hello to my sister.
Celestia: Hello Twilight, My name is Celestia.
Twilight: Hello Celestia, My name is Twilight.
Luna: You will go and meet my student now.
Twilight: ok.
*later at ponyville*
Twilight: Hello Sunset Shimmer, my name is Twilight Sparkle.
Sunset: Hello Twilight Sparkle, my name is Sunset Shimmer. Wanna eat snacks with me and Garble?
Twilight: Sure! By the way I'm from an alternate timeline.
Sunset: cool.
*chapter ends*
Ah yes
celestiaSunbutt2474 was bannned
11524733
🤣
11803664
Thanks