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GorisTheDeathclaw

Joined July 2012
428 followers

Yep.

Stories (2)

  • Trick Or Treat
    You give some foals some candy on Nightmare Night.

    1,795 words · 910 views · 59 likes · 7 dislikes
  • Comfort
    You find Scootaloo in your garden during a storm and offer to take her in.
    1,312 words · 2,021 views · 93 likes · 18 dislikes

Blog Posts (15)

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Comments ( 39 )

#1 · 88w, 4d ago · · ·

Thats would SO suck! But funny.  FIRST!

#2 · 88w, 4d ago · · ·

BY CELESTIA! :pinkiegasp: not what i expected...strangly funny :trixieshiftright: and weirdly entertaining

#3 · 88w, 4d ago · · ·

HAHAHAHAHA!!! Just another funny story!:rainbowlaugh: Though it was nice that for once the 'hero' wasn't kicked out like usual. :trixieshiftright:

#4 · 88w, 3d ago · · ·

At least the hero doesn't get hurt in this... right?

#5 · 88w, 3d ago · · ·

>>1044963

I'm not sure how painful the operation to remove superglue from someone's groin would be... or what the side effects would be. :rainbowlaugh:

#6 · 88w, 3d ago · · ·

Anyone else immediately think of this?

#7 · 88w, 3d ago · · ·

Erm, once again fantastic work, and this will hurt..

#8 · 88w, 3d ago · · ·

I fuckin love these stories!!!:rainbowlaugh:

keep it going man!!!:yay:

#9 · 88w, 3d ago · · ·

"Don't forget your penis cream."

#10 · 88w, 3d ago · · ·

he needs to read next time and the story went kinda fast dont ya think it went from a kiss to have your dick stuk in trixe XD

#11 · 88w, 3d ago · · ·

That was priceless.:rainbowlaugh:

#12 · 88w, 3d ago · · ·

You could say he was "Stuck in love" :rainbowlaugh:

#13 · 88w, 3d ago · · ·

:ajbemused::ajbemused::ajbemused::facehoof::facehoof::facehoof::ajsleepy::ajsleepy::ajsleepy::applejackunsure::applejackunsure::applejackunsure:

good idea GOD DAMNED HORRIBLE WRITING. just no. 1/5.

#14 · 88w, 3d ago · · ·

My reaction...

:ajbemused::applejackunsure::derpyderp1::pinkiegasp::rainbowlaugh:

#15 · 88w, 3d ago · · ·

>>1045573

:ajbemused:

What the f*ck did you just f*cking say about me, you little b*tch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the f*ck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my f*cking words. You think you can get away with saying that sh*t to me over the Internet? Think again, f*cker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're f*cking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little sh*t. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your f*cking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're f*cking dead, kiddo.

:trixieshiftright:

HONESTLY THOUGH, what was wrong with the writing? :fluttershysad:

#16 · 88w, 3d ago · · ·

......I cant fucking breathE-AHAHAHAHAHH!!:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

oh wow....industrial grade glue.....damn heheh....its gonna hurt to get them separated:rainbowlaugh:

#17 · 88w, 3d ago · · ·

>>1045705 oh look, a copy paste threat.... and it WAY to fast, take your time, fix it up if you stretch it out and do this right, you cold bring it up to 3-6 k at least, it was to rushed, trixie wouldn't just up and buck somepony like that, no way she would move that fast.

#18 · 88w, 3d ago · · ·

>>1046077

The pacing is ridiculously fast because the story is a joke and not meant to be taken seriously in any way. :trollestia:

#19 · 88w, 3d ago · · ·

Hahaha god, I was trying not to laugh but as soon as I turned on the music I couldn't help it! :rainbowlaugh:

#20 · 88w, 2d ago · · ·

Your stories get me every time, but here's a few words of advice.

Stay away from Berry Punch!

That is all.

#21 · 88w, 2d ago · · ·

>>1051802

You're not gonna believe this, but I actually wrote a Berry Punch story last night and submitted it a couple of hours ago. :twilightsheepish:

#22 · 88w, 2d ago · · ·

You grab some lube off the bedside table and rub it all over your wang.

When I read this, I snorted and nearly inhaled my toothpick.

Anyway... I'm really glad, not only that I didn't die, but that this fic turned out to be pretty funny. The beginning was sorely lacking.

#23 · 88w, 2d ago · · ·

>>1045000 ...How about those endings, eh? Trollface.jpg

#25 · 88w, 1d ago · · ·

I would've thought that actually sleeping with her would be the bad ending.

#26 · 88w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1057196

But sleeping with Trixie is the greatest possible ending to anything ever. :ajsmug:

#27 · 88w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1056031 I present to you, Nyan Effect:

#28 · 88w, 9h ago · · ·

>>1056031>>1060372

Verily.

I hope to all Heck they exoand the gameplay ending "After Shock Coma" in this supposed free add on.

Or else EA:pinkiecrazy:

On a more important tangent

:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

#29 · 87w, 6d ago · · ·

Ya know. I came here, expecting another of your "endings". Like the ending of that story about Carrot Top, or the story about Princess Celestia. Those endings made the Ending of Lost seem like a masterpiece. THIS ending however, I liked it.

#30 · 87w, 4d ago · · ·

That is fucking horrible

#31 · 87w, 4d ago · · ·

That is fucking horrible >>1079092 imagine the pain

#32 · 87w, 4d ago · · ·

My penis hurts just reading this :applecry:

#33 · 87w, 3d ago · · ·

Final Fantasy IX Boss battle eh?

I found this more fitting :D

#34 · 87w, 3d ago · · ·

>>1085160

Haha, I loved Final Fantasy V. Even though the only memory I have of it is the part where Bartz/Butz tries to fight a werewolf and accidentally sends it flying down some stairs. :rainbowlaugh:

#35 · 87w, 3d ago · · ·

>>1085632 I liked from Gilgamesh :derpytongue2:

+ This stories are kinda cool. I've waited for a romance story, which turned out to be humorous :rainbowwild:

#36 · 85w, 6d ago · · ·

>>1045573

You just don't understand the genious of Goris. Short, funny, and tithe point; making the protagonist fail miserably. It's much better than the muck of self-inserts, random clop, and tedious spinoffs of FOE.

#37 · 83w, 5d ago · · ·

I think the ending was my favorite part of this whole thing.

#38 · 79w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1046183

Yeah! How dare you write a story the way you want to. It has to be written exactly like all other great stories! Other wise it is shit! Ahh... sarcasm. :heart:

Honestly though, it's a funny story. Keep it up!

Plus, my response to: "...Oh," you say, "that explains it then."

#39 · 75w, 2d ago · · ·

The first fic I have read where the music link actually enriched the experience.

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