After the events of their first Hearths Warming Eve together, and the revelation about Gallus' family, or lack there of, Silverstream comes to a shocking realization: Gallus has never had a birthday party! Silverstream decides to correct this as soon as possible, so she recruits the rest of the Young Six to put together a surprise birthday party for their griffon friend.
However, as all of his friends are busy planning this surprise, Gallus can't help but feel that his so called friends are avoiding him. Feeling alone and abandoned on this day, Gallus unknowingly finds himself in a vulnerable position ripe for manipulation.
Chapters (7)
Good work, I can't wait for more.
There is a grammatical error here.
The watched should be watching.
I think it'll be much better if it were worded as "Even Smolder and Ocellus whose races has had a history of being unfriendly and unhappy, had memories of happy birthdays"
Just my opinion though this is gonna be a great story.
Yep... "what could possibly go wrong" cliche. Gonna be fun watching how it goes wrong.
There are quite a few error scattered about, which I'd be happy to help with, but this story is going well so far, I'd say! Can't wait to see more, finish up on that next chapter!
I can just imagine Chrysalis's horrified expression the moment she catches wind of this. Kinda makes me want to explore the idea of her sneaking into the hive in time for a changeling's birthday and gets to witness first-hoof things like that.
Only everything. But, you know, who's counting?
All right, I'll bite and see where this goes.
Smolder is indeed accurate. Honestly, considering Gallus’ abandonment issues, I could see this fic going in a very DARK direction.
Aannd now you jinxed it.
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Well, it won't get darker than the original Party of One. . . but then again, is that really saying much?
[Maniacal Laugh!]
Oh, just hang in there, Gallus, I suspect it'll pay off in the end.
Everyone on this show are terrible liars (except some villains).
Nice chapter.
Another great chapter. Keep up the good work.
Need to change the of his face to on his face
Belch might be a better word instead of burp, but that's just my opinion.
This should probably be changed to that
Ouch.
The chase in on. Cue the chase music.
N’aww. Poor Gallus. Now I just want to hug him.
Just need to change the, "the walked" to "they walked".
But besides that it's really really good
Uh oh.
I certainly don't trust this Rey guy.
This Rey guy must be a Cozy worshipper or something, why else would he want to befriend Gallus?
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Definitely seems suspicious, but we’ll see.
This Rey guy feels as sly as a fox...
...like his cutie mark.
Which, when you think about it, certainly doesn't bode well.
Blowing balloons didn't give G1 Spike any problems.
I don't know why you specified this: I'm pretty sure it was a female dragon that proposed making belching an acceptable greeting. It doesn't seem like it'd be a gendered activity to them...
Now I'm kind of hoping someone draws art of Silverstream blowing huge piles of balloons.
This is pretty good so far, even if the characters behaviors are a little frustrating, and the story feels vaguely S1E25-derivative. I'm happy to see the spelling and grammar is good on this one too. Waiting for the last two chapters...
Great, a new cozy glow on the way.
Ooh. Political-favor "friends." The worst kind.
Every time I see a villain I want them to see them monologue later.
He’ll*
I do like this villain. He seems cunning, though egotistical. However, I would have preferred not being told his plan, but rather have hints, to have it be fully revealed later. But, this is still nice.
I called it
The ending felt just a liiiitle rushed, but all around, this was a really fun and sweet story that felt a lot like the show.
The power of fluffyboys shines within them all.
Yeah, the ending felt a bit rushed. The question that’s on my mind is, will Rey remain his friend? Because in previous chapters it was reavealed he is evil. Other than that, good story.
I bet he and Captain Marvel get along nice.
She knows.
Yikers. Also, nice little returning theme.
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OMG EXACTLY WHAT I THOUGHT!!
Yeah, well, have you looked at Gallus?
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Oh, that poor kid.
All the humor in this chapter was on point. That ending was especially fantastic.
I see Smolder has been spending time with Rarity.
What the heck?! Did ANYONE go to that school to actually learn about friendship?
Oh, thank you, Pinkie Pie.
WOOOOOOO! And once again, friendship wins!
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Well, since Pinkie Pie, and thus the other teachers, know about him, they'll be sure to pay him a little extra attention to keep him from becoming Cozy Glow 2.0. Also, he's not as much as a sociopath as Cozy Glow, so there's home for him.
It's good, but a few grammatical errors and misleadings
Need to add a s at the end of make
Need to add an I after when
Need to nix was and add there after stood or change stood to standing and add there
You put yet instead of let
But it is still a good story
A good conclusion to a good story, but a few misspellings and grammatical errors.
Need to add to between the and table
Need to make he had
I'm confused here
But I think you might have accidentally mixed up the names so maybe reword it like
Ya know, I woulda pegged Sandbar or Silver to be the meta, genre savvy one of the group. Color me impressed Smolder.
Of all the student 6, cat-bird deserved this the most. Gotta love Gallus man. Fuffy Boi indeed.
I enjoyed the humble simplicity and presentation of this story... up until this chapter. These little devils suddenly appearing with their oh-so-evil schemes has driven me away — I no longer care about this story. Partially because Gallus falls into this particular scheme far too easily, as though you couldn't think of any more creative and believable explanation for his fall. It just erases the fun. Oh, and, uh... I could instantly see Faux's plan coming because of the mention of manipulation in your synopsis. :/
EDIT: I felt bad saying it, but talking to a friend about it has strengthened my resolve. I think the way these villains speak is really obnoxious. It comes across as arrogant on your part, the "Oho, we are very intelligent because we're criticizing another villain!" Sorry to put it so harshly — I really do mean well.
Now, I do want to give props for trying to add something unique to this plot that we've already seen in MLP. Totally guessing, but I feel like that was an intentional decision, and I appreciate that. I just don't think this was a fun way to do it. Feels like way too much. Not like I'm a great writer, buuut that doesn't mean I can't have an opinion, right?
Hope you take all that well, Matthais, I appreciate ya. Best of luck—
This fic was heart warming and funny but I think I could have been a bit better with the villain, felt like an unneeded element to the story. If you were looking for something for Gallus to do while he was alone, why not just have pinkie hang with him for a boy knowing how he feels but also knowing how much it’s gunna pay off.