I'm gonna be brutally honest here dude and I apologize if I sound like an asshole but this chapter felt real sloppy. You said that this is the chapter when we meet the rest of the girls but we're only introduced to Rainbow Dash. And the way Spike explained his origins like that just kinda came out of left field, it felt forced and somewhat unnecessary at the moment.
Again, I'm not saying this to be an asshole or anything but this chapter does need some sprucing up.
10089308 I agree with you it does, and your not sounding like an ass, just giving your opinion. I was trying to get this out and writers block just kept getting ahold of me, so i had to take a different route. So i do apologize for the sloppiness and ill try to get out better chapters
10089319 Well, I just edited the chapter, noticing some mistakes, and I will keep your offer in mind. Right now I have a few people helping me out with the chapters but this chapter they were just too busy to help me out. But I do hope you enjoy the new chapter.
10089340 This is somewhat better. Though I do still feel that Spike explaining his past out of the blue like that does feel a little forced. And while I do understand that you want introduce the other girls down the line, you could at least give us each a description of them so we know who they are.
This is just my personal opinion though and I do apologize for the criticism.
10089366 Don't apologize for your criticism. and for the back story, he including it while he was talking about his parents. And he thought it would be best to give a bit of an introduction on how he came to be
This was a purity chill and funny chapter I wonder what it means that he's both. I feel sorry for what happened to his mom and dad. Wasn't he adopted by Celestia?
10095566 Well “kicked out” isn’t really the term. It more like the super man story. Sent out to stay safe. And his parents aren’t who they say they are. So stay tuned for the next chapter
I'm gonna be brutally honest here dude and I apologize if I sound like an asshole but this chapter felt real sloppy. You said that this is the chapter when we meet the rest of the girls but we're only introduced to Rainbow Dash. And the way Spike explained his origins like that just kinda came out of left field, it felt forced and somewhat unnecessary at the moment.
Again, I'm not saying this to be an asshole or anything but this chapter does need some sprucing up.
10089308
I agree with you it does, and your not sounding like an ass, just giving your opinion. I was trying to get this out and writers block just kept getting ahold of me, so i had to take a different route. So i do apologize for the sloppiness and ill try to get out better chapters
10089313
If you want, I could be you're Editor and Proofreader, maybe even toss you some of suggestions of my own.
10089319
Well, I just edited the chapter, noticing some mistakes, and I will keep your offer in mind. Right now I have a few people helping me out with the chapters but this chapter they were just too busy to help me out. But I do hope you enjoy the new chapter.
10089340
This is somewhat better. Though I do still feel that Spike explaining his past out of the blue like that does feel a little forced. And while I do understand that you want introduce the other girls down the line, you could at least give us each a description of them so we know who they are.
This is just my personal opinion though and I do apologize for the criticism.
10089366
Don't apologize for your criticism. and for the back story, he including it while he was talking about his parents. And he thought it would be best to give a bit of an introduction on how he came to be
This was a purity chill and funny chapter I wonder what it means that he's both. I feel sorry for what happened to his mom and dad. Wasn't he adopted by Celestia?
10089733
In this story...no, he is related to celestia but that is all I am going to reveal
This was interesting, Spike was kicked out of his own home and had to live at an orphanage. But his blood shows that he's both leader and knight.
10095566
Well “kicked out” isn’t really the term. It more like the super man story. Sent out to stay safe. And his parents aren’t who they say they are. So stay tuned for the next chapter
The academy will freak out.
10098042
Eeyup