Luna and Sunset Shimmer Fix the Dreamscape with Shamwow and Flex Tape!

by TheMajorTechie

Super-Duper Flex-Sealed Bonus Chapter!!!11!!1

"Luna, our ship is sinking!" cried Sunset Shimmer, furiously soaking up the inflowing dream diarrhea with her infinite supply of Shamwow^TM cloths.

"Show me the leaks."

Sunset raised a brow but nevertheless complied, teleporting the entire Wikileaks server onto the ship, followed by more than enough leeks to feed all the starving children.

"No, no, the leaks!"

"Yeah," Sunset gestured a hoof towards the whirring server, "there they are. You wanna find out who Celestia's secret child is with me?"

"What, wha--"

"OH DEAR CELESTIA THE SHAMWOW CAN'T HOLD MUCH MORE HOLY CRAP HELP ME PATCH THE HOLE THAT'S TRYING TO SWALLOW ME INTO THE ABYSS OF BROKEN DREAMS AND--"

Luna sighed. Now was the time to bring out her ultimate weapon...

With a fearsome battle cry, Luna wielded her final resort...

"DOUBLE-DIPPED SHAMFLEXWOWTAPESEAL OF POOOOOWAAAAAAAAAAH!" Luna screeched at the top of her lungs, diving overboard into the depths of the crippling depression nightmares of her subjects.

It was like watching a miracle. One second, the dreamscape roiled and broiled and frothed all over with the imagined fantasies of the populace, the next... nothing. Nothing, that is, besides one Princess of the Night tumbling into the abyss on a mattress-sized sheet of Shamwow wrapped in Flex Tape and utterly dripping with Flex Seal.

That last part was currently the focus of Luna's current dilemma - she was Flex Sealed to the Flex Tape, which in turn fastened her to Sunset's Shamwow mattress.

Down and down she went, the Shamwow absorbing anything and everything it encountered as it continued falling, the Flex Tape and Seal binding the Princess to the cloth all the way. Sunset could only watch in horror as Luna fell out of the dreamscape.

CLUNK.

CANTERLOT CASTLE ROOFTOP GO BOOM. CASTLE KITCHEN GO BOOM. CELESTIA'S CAKE GO BOOM. SHAMWOW EAT RUBBLE.

Celestia was not amused to find that her sister, now tightly-bound to a bulging Shamwow cloth with Flex Tape and Flex Seal, had landed right in the middle of her cake.

Sunset guided the Flex Seal-ed Flex Tape and Shamwow airship to the conveniently-located kitchen balcony of story progression, hopping out with her briefcase stuffed full of Shamwow.

"Sunset!" Luna beamed through the remnants of Celestia's cake, "You made it out!"

Sunset smirked, tossing an enchanted Shamwow cloth at the Flex Seal on Luna's hooves. A loud slurping sound echoed through the destroyed kitchen as the Shamwow absorbed the Flex Seal, therefore turning it into FLEXISHAMSEAL, THE REVOLUTIONARY NEW PRODUCT THAT ALL PONIES NEED IN THEIR HOME! IT WILL REPLACE YOUR PAPER TOWELS, YOUR BATHROOM TOWELS, YOUR SCREEN WIPES, YOUR DUCT TAPE, AND EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN! ONLY NEED A STRIP OF TAPE? CUT A PIECE OFF THE FLEXISHAMSEAL! IT'LL STICK TO ANYTHING, AND SOAK UP THE WATER WHILE IT'S AT IT! YOUR TABLE'S FULL OF CRUMBS? USE A FLEXISHAMSEAL CLOTH FOR YOUR TABLECLOTH! OUR PATENTED ENCHANTO-WOW TECHNOLOGY ALLOWS THE FLEXISHAMSEAL TO SIMPLY ABSORB ANY CRUMBS THAT DROP ON IT! BEST OF ALL, WHEN YOU'RE DONE, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS THROW IT IN THE WASH! THE BINDING FLEX SEAL THAT'S INTERMESHED WITH THE CLASSIC SHAMWOW CLOTH GUARANTEES THAT IT'LL HOLD FOR PRACTICALLY FOREVER! BUY YOUR FLEXISHAMSEAL NOW, AND YOU'LL GET A SECOND SET, FREE! YOU HEARD THAT RIGHT, FREE! AT ONLY 19.95 FOR NOT ONE, BUT TWO SETS, THIS IS SOMETHING THAT WON'T BE AROUND FOR LONG! BUY ONE NOW, WHILE STOCKS LAST!

Author's Note:

Comments

[Magos Xenos Disathairne]

This is getting concerning now. I'm confiscating all that flex-shit for your own goods.

[keulan742]

You one-upped yourself in the weirdness. I'm amused and impressed at how weird this has gotten.

[Snowdrifter]

So they fixed everything but the castle and Celestia's cake.

Now, fixing the castle requires a system. A system I can only tell you about in person. The next hour or so will tell you about how great the system is. The System is so good, it will fix everything and make you your own boss. The System I developed will revolutionize the world! Now, don't take it from me - these ponies can tell you how great The System is! Just call now and I will be personally have a free copy of The System delivered to you just for signing up for a free seminar and dinner. That's right, The System has made me so rich, I am giving these opportunities away! Call now! Get your friends and family involved in The System. There is no risk! No complications! The System, seminar and dinner are free!* Call today!

*Travel and lodging not included. The System is not certified by the FDA or anyone else. The seminar is mandatory for all. There may be additional offers which are not free. No substitutions, exceptions or refunds.

[Michaelbrony]

No joke, my Google feed featured this to me..... your ad littered story caught the attention of Google!!!

[TheMajorTechie]

9299131
Coolio. I guess that's what happens when I combine memes.

[Twilight Connor]

Exactly as predicted. Glorious.

[Zapper Frost]

images2.memedroid.com/images/UPLOADED45/521e98a0c99cf.jpeg
This one picture can sum up this entire story

[Nolamancy]

I NEED MORE!!!! GIVE ME MORE!!!

[Darkly]

This story made me giggle inside.

[Kikio3000]

TO SHOW YOU THE *POWER* OF FLEX TAPE *AND* SHAMWOW, YOU NOW HAVE 200 FOLLOWERS ON FIMFICTION!! XD

[FanOfMostEverything]

What madness have you unleashed on this benighted land?

[SunflowerSwirl]

Celestia was not amused to find that her sister, now tightly-bound to a bulging Shamwow cloth with Flex Tape and Flex Seal, had landed right in the middle of her cake.

[SunflowerSwirl]

9299304
Tape them together to saw our dislikes in half!

[flutterboot]

*insert violent expulsion of mucus here*

[Daedrik]

Amazing... Phil Swift would be proud

[Mica]

My Little Pony: FlexTape is Magic
...or is it all a ShamWow?