Really poor grammar, unreadable structure, boring descriptions...
Sorry, but I didn't even manage to get to the end. It was way too much chaos.
too grimdark for my tastes
Dat wall of text
Thank you all. >:D I duz hope u all liked it. If you didn't o well, of you did, ok!
wasn't that bad but is wasn't easy to read
besides that is was actually a good story
You did good PariaH.
so much scootabuse, but your grammar is atrocious and the entire thing was a wall of text.
The story was good overall, the idea was good and the plot developed logically, but it was nigh unreadable because it was just a wall of text and I never really knew who was talking. there was no attempt at correcting grammar, spelling, and sentence mistakes.
I'm not saying it's a bad story, it made me feel for scoots, and it had the desired effect on me, but editing would make this story overall a lot better