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#1 · 231w, 6d ago · · 2 ·

Really poor grammar, unreadable structure, boring descriptions...

Sorry, but I didn't even manage to get to the end. It was way too much chaos.

#2 · 231w, 6d ago · · 2 ·

too grimdark for my tastes


#4 · 231w, 4d ago · · ·

Thank you all. >:D I duz hope u all liked it. If you didn't o well, of you did, ok!

(SABAOTH image)

#5 · 231w, 1h ago · · ·

wasn't that bad but is wasn't easy to read

besides that is was actually a good story

#6 · 221w, 1d ago · · ·



You did good PariaH.

#7 · 194w, 3d ago · 1 · ·

so much scootabuse, but your grammar is atrocious and the entire thing was a wall of text.

The story was good overall, the idea was good and the plot developed logically, but it was nigh unreadable because it was just a wall of text and I never really knew who was talking. there was no attempt at correcting grammar, spelling, and sentence mistakes.

I'm not saying it's a bad story, it made me feel for scoots, and it had the desired effect on me, but editing would make this story overall a lot better

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