1. Member Since 18th Jul, 2012
  2. offline for 114w, 5h

PariaH


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#1 · 123w, 4d ago · · 1 ·

Really poor grammar, unreadable structure, boring descriptions...

Sorry, but I didn't even manage to get to the end. It was way too much chaos.

#2 · 123w, 4d ago · · 1 ·

too grimdark for my tastes

:pinkiesick:

#4 · 123w, 2d ago · · ·

Thank you all. >:D I duz hope u all liked it. If you didn't o well, of you did, ok!

(SABAOTH image)

#5 · 122w, 4d ago · · ·

wasn't that bad but is wasn't easy to read

besides that is was actually a good story

#6 · 112w, 6d ago · · ·

[][]

[][]

You did good PariaH.

#7 · 86w, 17h ago · · ·

so much scootabuse, but your grammar is atrocious and the entire thing was a wall of text.

The story was good overall, the idea was good and the plot developed logically, but it was nigh unreadable because it was just a wall of text and I never really knew who was talking. there was no attempt at correcting grammar, spelling, and sentence mistakes.

I'm not saying it's a bad story, it made me feel for scoots, and it had the desired effect on me, but editing would make this story overall a lot better

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