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Madness. Madness has overtaken Twilight Sparkle. The world ends when her spell is complete. Twilight has to die—and Spike has to kill her. But he can't. He loves her. So back in time he goes, learning to hate so he may complete the deed.
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I have a chrome book. I hate said chrome book. Nice guy David let me used his PC. I wrote this because I could.
I'll miss that pc
Hm
Interesting, a bit confusing but it's okay other than that
A great but also very tragic story. It was a very interesting change from so many of the spike stories I have been reading recently
I personally guarantee that even my best story isn't as good as this one.
Well done.
Hmmm, and that is why Harmony and Fate are a bitch.
Mimimi, We may never know the reason but it was inevetable ...
Better version of the cover art is here, if you don't want it to be so small.
9230806
You and me both. I have a PC though but I use my chrome book just for writing and stuff.
9231562
Thank yea kindly.
Jesus Christ B, how sre you such a good writer, don't ever stop you glorious bastard.
has anyone ever thought that we just
let the world end
and not write gloriously depressing shit about it
I see crazy murderous Twilight has come back into vogue again. *sighs* Now I have more alternate universes to blow up.
Also... this universe seems built solely for random fuqery. Careless time travel will do that.
A really heart-touching story... You deserve to be popular for this wonderful story! Now please excuse me, I'll go to a corner & let my tears fall... xxxx
He can't avoid her his entire life. She'll be an Alicorn soon and a Princess, and hes a Dragon. They'll both live for a long time. Spike will die of old age, and Twilight will continue on living.
What? He travels back in time, yet it dosen't occur to him(or even YOU the readers and the writer), that he can stop the evil force to take over Past Twilight...
That LikeBar is fucking Cancerous right now...
No offense to you. It was written really well. It was a good story, just the way you went with the storyline wasn't my 'cup of tea'. I did enjoy reading it, I just didn't like the result, I guess, if that makes any sense. I don't know how to explain this. I mean no ill will towards your writing ability; like I said before, it was written really well, it was a good story, a good idea, and I enjoyed reading it. However, by the time I was finished reading, I didn't like it. I enjoyed it but I didn't like it, per se.
I hope that makes sense. I'm confuzzled.
Signing out, VShuffler42
9232912
Thank you for the kind words.
9237177
It's mentioned that Spike has no control in the past. He's trapped inside his mind, forced to watch the events, over and over, until he can come to hate them from repetition. But he can't. No matter what Twilight does and will do can cause him to hate her. Why? Because he loves her. Spike loves Twilight Sparkle.
But a decent theory would be why killing himself in the future would effect the past. Why? Because he would have to kill his younger self, and, despite the fucked shit I've written, kid-killing is still a mile away from my 'to-write' list.
Thank you for reading!
9238440
I would feel the same on a re-read. A proper written series of events would evoke a better reaction and emotion from the reader. It's kind of a one note with it's one-note ending that stabs you heart at the concept rather than the reality. Even still, your words have been kind, your judgement honest, and I thank you for them all.
9239069
So you INTENTIONALLY wrote Spike in a corner just to manipulate peoples feelings... that's disgusting.
Also, I did not say that Spike should kill himself. Where did you read that?!?
9239946
Do you have no clue how the fuck fiction works? I have no idea if you're some hack of a troll or a legit dude who's confused. May a non-existent God select the latter.
Fiction is a lie! All events made in manipulation to evoke feeling and emotions and thoughts and other such things! That's the whole point. You don't get a story from waxing your cock to the curtain of a shower. You get it from an event or a description that evokes an intended response so people can feel things they don't get to feel in their day to day life.
And I didn't say anything that would suggest that you suggested Spike killing himself. Only that Spike himself drove Twilight to madness, and thus, is the evil force in which you speak.
Go read fucking Shakespear
9240131
Gess, calm the fuck down, man. I haven't even read this
9240137
No, you fire the fuck up, man. I'm ready for a fucking flame war with this shit.
9240149
Ok, you were the one who asked one.
(Long time I did this one...)
EPIC RANT TIME: THE REVIVAL
To Days Victim(s): B_25 and Writing a Story(Mostly this)
I found this on the ”New” section and All I had to do was read the Summary and the fucking name, and I thought to myself”Yep, this is another shit show some one thought was good” and the fact that you get hostile as quickly someone dosen’t like your work proves more of how cancerous this fanbase is and that this site is 85 procent full of them.
Just yesterday, all I had to do was read the name, the piss poor summary or even the fucking cover art and see that this is complete crap. But the fact that they have MORE likes than dislikes is concerning and idiotic. As long it has ponies, Bronys will not give a fuck if the characters are out of character, the writing or story telling is crap or if this is logical at all. Like I said in a previous comment "That LikeBar is fucking Cancerous right now...”
And no. Story Telling is not manipulating someone to get sad or depressed like Batman V Superman, Story Telling is an experience. Story Telling is something that you yourself should have your own opinion.
Then it comes to yourself. You have to put time and effort to make the characters feel real, make the story telling great and interesting, world building that dosen’t make sense(I’m looking at you Steven Universe).
If people dosen’t like it. That’s fine, then it means you still need to learn. A quick look on your newest stories shows that you upload new stories every week. It’s to fast. slow down and a triple check to change something. Right now, I’m writing a Digimon Story that focuses on the Digimon Partners. I want them to feel like real people with goals or inner demons, so they can are changed persons at the end of the story. But why haven’t I uploaded it yet(on my AO3 page)? It takes TIME and EFFORT. It took me to make Iggy’s Bizarre Animal Adventure, and I have only completed the 3 first Parts, parts 4-5/6 is just having small notes on what I plan with the ending and other parts of the story,(still hasen’t decided if part 6 is going to be part 4 or take place in a different universe...) and I'm gonna fully complete them when I’m done with Part 3(That’s when I do a Hiatus)
My point is, Story Telling is not to manipulate peoples feelings. Story telling is something People should feel how ever they want about it. If they don't like it... then that's fine.
This has been, Epic Rant Time: The Revival. Final Verdict: Learn from your mistakes.
Thank You and. Good Night...
9240184
So you make a lot of points without backing them with reason, don't know grammar to the extent that a fifth-grader can school you, and overall gave pseudo-advice without even understanding how that advice applies.
Most bronies are far kinder than I. Me. B. I'm an asshole because it's far more entertaining for the wanders who come by these comment threads. Don't base one experience on the whole of a fandom.
Next time, back your points with reasons, proof your grammar, and God forbid, consider yourself a troll so others don't think you're this much of a mental midget.
May conflict fuel your autistic rage.
9240526
You do know that this comment and calling me names proves my point even more about this fanbase, right?
9240639
No u
9240685
Wow, that’s unoriginal...
9241194
Ah! A fan of ellipses, I see. Carry on good sir!
9241750
A what now?
9242138
Those three dots you seem to use at the end of every sentence, regardless of any context. I had you pinned as a man of great taste, old bean, and wanted to give you the old huzzah!
9242390
Why thank you.
Yo dude you should make a sequel to this! This was a good read, I enjoyed it. Would be awesome to see how spike ends up after all this and how twilight goes in the future. If she would ever see him and wonder who he is. Great story dude.
This story really hit me hard. It's not very often a story can do that to me. This story will replay itself in my head for days to come.
one
Hmm
It’s written nicely.
On the other hand it has a LOT of incongruences with established canon and the absence of Spike from Twilight life would have MAJOR impact on the friendship with the other Mane 6. So it is quite unbelievable.
Overall decent.