… well, her face went there

But it was too late. Rarity felt it before she saw it. Something large and soft like a sausage tapping on her cheek. She stopped sobbing for a moment to see what this could be and was greeted by Spike's penis.

Well, she stopped crying at least.

Well. Her face, HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

"I NEED MORE"

So, are the characters in this story ponies or anthropomorphic? The cover image and first chapter suggest anthro, but this chapter makes it seem like they're ponies half the time.

Don't male dragons have dual dragonhoods?

Oh no... Now come the procession of brave knights out to rescue the Princess from Despair most Distressing! Or worse yet, a group of rag-tag misfits who met at a tavern where they are given a quest by a mysterious old colt in a robe in the dark corner of the shady room, by the fireplace! Or better yet... *Dreamy harp sequence*

Brave brave Sir Button,
Bravely trot the way,
To something something... Line!

9171841
They ran through like the tag says it's just that Blue Bloods kind of a dick okay a total dick and I'm thinking he strapped them like he would slaves

9171841
They are anthros, but chariots are still pulled by them, and they knights are just those who have learned to be faster and so forth.. Essentially take all the ideas of the show and how the medieval style vehicles in their work, and then make all the ponies anthro.

9171850
That depends on the writer, seeing as we don't have any real life examples to draw from.

The solution here is simple: Have Spike marry Rarity. The massive wealth and ownership of a castle (even if in ruins) and large plot of land means he is technically nobility.

Nice. Hope to see more fun chapters soon!

well written raunch.

9171914
I'm sure Rarity would have no objections to this plan.
Also, nobility is used as an easy measuring stick by which to judge power. A dragon does not need a noble title, as they are, effectively, a nation-state.

All they need to do is tell her father that she eloped with her secret lover to avoid a terrible marriage choice, and then go about seeing how hard it is to produce kririn.

Lol well that was a funny ending for sure. I think it wont go the raunchy route right into the next chapter tho. At the moment even if Spike DID help her, there is noway she is just going to suck or jerk him off out of the blue. She is a woman who has only loved her treasure this whole time and one good deed doesn't change that. Hell I think she might punch him in the dick for it if anything. I think she will know she overreacted but wont admit it, I mean she is a spoiled princess and all. I just see the relationship being a bit slow than some people think since this is a woman who has only had one love and that 'love' is still there and is even bigger than before. So I think it will take some time for her to start to see Spike as any type of romantic partner and even then I think it would put him near her gold if not at best a semi tie with the gold still being more in the lead lol.

9172074
That stuff is true and all my issue with it is. She just got out of a married. It would seem counter to the point is she just goes and marry something else. She want to be free to do what she want without being tied down. Her than marrying herself to something else goes right against that very ideal. I think she need to just stick to this right now and if the worse come to worse and AFTER she has spent a good bit of time with Spike getting to know him and maybe growing some sort of feelings for him I could see that fitting into the story without making all that Rarity felt and did till this moment become redundant.

This was the greatest day of her life. If she had died then she had gone straight to heaven!

Eh, not exactly...

“This is paradise...” She sighed, rolling onto her back and closing her eyes. She may have no idea where she was or how she ended up here, but if she could spend the rest of her life in this golden nirvana then she would gladly do so, even if it meant starving to death. She would have no regrets. Rarity let out a flutterly moan, not a care in the world on her pile of gold.

Give it a second.

Rarity screamed, of course. Her hellish squeal was like a banshee’s cry that caused the dragon to wake up from his daydream in a panic.

Naturally.

Why in all the land was he naked?

I'd like to see YOU design clothes for a big ass dragon.

“What?!” The dragon gasped. “N-no! There must be some sort of mistake! I don’t kidnap ponies! I don’t need that kind of heat! No, clearly you’re a thief trying to steal from my hoard!” He puffed up his chest, trying to look intimidating with his sweaty complexion and distraught eyes. The fact that his dragon meat was flopping around didn’t help either. “Leave now! Or face my wrath!”

Ah, clever dragon. He doesn't give a damn about ponies, they're FAR too much trouble. He's just interested in gold.

“I told you, I didn’t kidnap you!” The dragon frowned. “I don’t mean to brag but when it comes to raiding castles’ treasure keeps I’m sort of an expert. I don’t kill anyone, I cause as little damage as possible, I only take four scoops of gold and I DEFINITELY do not take hostages. Besides, I’m sure I’d remember kidnapping somepony.”

I like pragmatic Spike.

Spike paused their for a moment and the two stood their in silence. “Ha!” he blurted out. “That’s funny! But seriously, don’t joke about being a princess. You’re going to give me a heart-attack.”

She isn't joking.

“A princess... I accidently kidnapped... a princess...” he blinked. “Son of a bitch!” He grabbed both sides of his heads, his claws digging into his head, as he went into a full on spiral. “Nonononononono! This isn’t good! This is not good! This is SO bad!” Spike’s breathing started getting heavy and rapid. “I can’t believe I--no, there’s no way...” he glared at Rarity. “You need to leave, right now!”

Yeah, I don't blame him.

“You took twenty thousand, four hundred and seventy seven coins, six hundred and twenty one rubies, eighty nine emeralds, four large diamonds and three hundred and sixty nine sapphires!”

You counted?

“Of course I did!” Rarity frowned. “I love all of them!”

... You DO have a treasure fetish.

“I mean it’s--Look, it’s not important right now. Do you know why I only take four scoops of gold when I go on my raids? That’s because it’s pocket change to them! They’re pissed about it, but they don’t actually do anything about it because it’s not worth the time or effort! But for a princess! Oh dear lord... please tell me your father hates you.”

A fair point.

“Umm...” Rarity gulped. “When I was four I burnt my tongue on some hot soup and he cut the chef’s legs off and flogged him to death...”

“Holy shit! That’s horrible! What the hell is wrong with your dad?”

I'm inclined to agree.

“Ah...” Spike nodded. “We don’t like the groom, I take it?”

Sadly no. He's yet ANOTHER one dimensional Blueblood, more a caricature than an actual pony.

“Wow... didn’t see that one coming,” Spike said. “That’s kind of weird.”

And this coming from a DRAGON.

“Spike...” She ran up to him, grabbing the drake by both shoulders and pulling him closer. “I need you to kidnap me!”

Come again?

“What do you mean you don’t want to be rescued?”

Carefully, Spike pushed away the princess. “I’m a pacifist, I don’t kill. Hell I don’t even like hurting anypony.”

Which is good, far too much trouble.

“Everypony’s afraid of dragons,” he beamed as he crawled out of the window. Spike looked out in the distance, the large army was nearly at the gate. He took a deep breath and hopped out, falling down the tower.

Which makes sense, giant fire breathing flying creatures.

“C’mon you lazy bastards, keep marching!” Blueblood muttered from his chariot pulled by two exhausted servants. “Honestly, yelling at you two is utterly exhausting.” The two workhorses let out quiet moans as they continued to trudge along.

Easy for you to say.

“We’re going to overwhelm it,” he said. “When it leaves its hideout, send our main forces straight at it. While they’re distracting it, our knights will attack it from behind and we’ll chop it’s bloody head off.”

It's a DRAGON. Its scales are harder than any steel. You couldn't if you TRIED.

“Needlessly? They’ll be dying for me! What nobler death could there be?” Blueblood asked with a grin. “It doesn’t matter if they die or not, they’re just serfs with cheap swords and rags. If they can keep the dragon occupied long enough for somepony worth a damn to do something important then they did something with their lives.”

All right. You are not Blueblood. I am going to come up with my own backstory to justify this level of idiocy. This isn't Blueblood, this is Crazy Steve, a hobo who lives in an asylum who bumped his head and accidentally killed the real Blueblood and the trauma made him really snap and he convinced himself he's Prince Blueblood and put on his clothes.

He didn’t care if every single one of these ponies had to die, if the dragon was slain along the way then it would all be worth it.

You know, I know I called him Crazy Steve, but WOW he is mad.

What Blueblood had done was cruel and unnecessary.

Even the story itself is pointing out that Crazy Steve has no redeeming qualities. Hopefully this will serve as a reality check. I doubt it, but God I hope so.

But since he wouldn’t take lives, he would take his enemies morales and drown them in fear.

Intimidation. It works.

“Wh-whaaaa! Don’t drop me!” the prince screamed. “D-Do you know w-who I am?! I am a prince! I-If I die you’ll face m-my family’s w-wrath!”

Yes, because steel and fear will do SO well against a Dragon that could have wiped out you and everyone you sent in one exhalation if he so pleased. Friggin Crazy Steve.

“Thank you!” she cried. “Thank you so much!” It was all she could say, what else could she do but show her gratitude. “I’ll never forget this!”

When the supposed "beast" is capable of more empathy and kindness than the so called "civilized" being.

Well, she stopped crying at least.

Well.

9172216

It could be a false marriage, they get "officially" married, and Spike, having no real interest in Rarity and vice versa, lets her do as she pleases provided she doesn't do a stupid.

I've rarely read such a combination of comedy, insanity, and sexiness... great job!

He puffed up his chest, trying to look intimidating with his sweaty complexion and distraught eyes. The fact that his dragon meat was flopping around didn’t help either. “Leave now! Or face my wrath!”

camo.derpicdn.net/bb6ef7e5909fc0e672b013af045309cb3c897c77?url=http%3A%2F%2Fstatic2.fjcdn.com%2Fcomments%2F5362518%2B_92ab3ae4b81a745a5608a9291db11a22.png

“Oh goddess, you’re not going to throw up, are you?” the mare gagged. “That’s disgusting!”

“What? I’m not going to puke!” The dragon said, straining to hold his breath. “I’m appearing large and intimidating to scare you away.”

“Well it looks like you’re about to vomit.”

gifer.com/i/T19g.gif

“My prince,” a stallion adorned in fancy gold plate said, running up next to the chariot. “We’ll be upon the castle within the hour. How shall we engage the enemy?”

“We’re going to overwhelm it,” he said. “When it leaves its hideout, send our main forces straight at it. While they’re distracting it, our knights will attack it from behind and we’ll chop it’s bloody head off.”

“Sir... if I may,” the stallion asked. “You’d be sending those men to their deaths needlessly.”

“Needlessly? They’ll be dying for me! What nobler death could there be?” Blueblood asked with a grin. “It doesn’t matter if they die or not, they’re just serfs with cheap swords and rags. If they can keep the dragon occupied long enough for somepony worth a damn to do something important then they did something with their lives.”

Medieval warfare to its finest!
derpicdn.net/img/view/2013/6/24/355926__semi-dash-grimdark_artist-colon-equestria-dash-prevails_princess+luna_twilight+sparkle_alicorn_armor_arrow_axe_battle+axe_blackletter_boots_car.png

Spike took a nosedive towards his opening, his jaw open as he unleashed a spectacular blast of emerald flames.

Dracarys .
dfep0xlbws1ys.cloudfront.net/thumbs4d/87/4d875058f37a9d7b7bb440201021e6fb.jpg?response-cache-control=max-age=2628000

Well, she stopped crying at least.

9172247
Yea I get that and all. But the issue is it still takes away from her character and the development that is now able to happen with her if that happen. This is the chance now, for her to be her own woman. To live how she want, do to what she want, without being forced to be tied to a male to have her life. Even with Spike being in her life she isn't tied to him, she isn't stuck with him. If she wanted to leave she could leave. But if she married him than she is back where she started. I just like the idea of her being strong and not feeling the need to depend on some cliche to be able to live. I want this to be the start of Rarity being strong on her own feet.

9172343
Difference there is it would be marriage *on her own accord*, it would be *HER* choice and not forced

“OK! Fine! It’s a deal!” Blueblood cried. “Just let me live!”

There is no way he's gonna keep word

Wow, the king is worse than I thought.

“What?! I’m not leaving my treasure here! You didn’t just kidnap me, you kidnapped Anthony and Antonio and Amy and Allcard and Bianca and Benjaman and Bartholomew and Barry and Carsten and Christopher and Catherine and David and--”

“How many ponies did I grab?!”

My favorite part XD

Is it me, or Rarity liked being compared to treasure too much?

Hhehehehe, nice.

Keep going.

9172522
Thank you, Captain Obvious, for your words of wisdom.

Spike defends his territory, but with no lives lost on the invaders. His pacifistic nature is what makes him unique from most other dragons. His ability to change from big to small at will and his nobility in defending Rarity from her ex-fiancé with no loss of innocent lives is what makes him an incredible dragon.

If Rarity doesn't know better, despite her deep love for treasure, she may end up developing a crush on her 'kidnapper.' I'm just saying...

9172216
What she WANTS to do is immerse herself in wealth for the rest of her life.
She was opposed to the marriage to blueblood because it would have meant less time naked on a shiny pile.
Spike's hoard is orders of magnitude larger, and unlike her previous residence she would never have to resort to elaborate tricks to steal some time with it. She would go from spending maybe a few hours a week with her treasure to spending almost all her time with it, and with so much more of it as well.

She has been quite clear about her goals.

But...... Lizards don't have external..... O.o;;

“What do you mean you don’t want to be rescued?”