• Member Since 3rd Aug, 2018
  • offline last seen Feb 6th, 2021

DJ and Krahtorra


A collab account between Mordred and LordKrahtorra.

Comments ( 91 )

This story is stupid and I loved every second of it. I will definitely be keeping an eye on this one.

This needs some TFS references.

9088044
We may or may not have some in the future. Really depends on whether or not I can remember any. Also, I as in NeoLegendDJ, not LordKrahtorra

I had to stop
From the point of meeting the princesses, to several paragraphs into talking with the Mane 6, it was very rushed. You were doing so well too, good story at the start, and while the interaction of the guards was awkward, it was at least made up for it in bringing the MCs to the princesses. Everything after that was like you just couldn't wait, you needed those shipping lanes charted and the ships out to sea in the same day, learning later that they're empty of material and lacking fuel.

So I gotta pass for now, hopefully it'll get better if I come across this again later

Hey clones! A warning don't start getting laid in that world! It's weird!

Much memes and no please kill those THOTS before they get pregnant!

Constructive criticism, everything's moving much to fast and everyone's way too calm for what's happening. Also no one immediately just explains stuff like how they can respawn casually like that.

This story seems like it was made for me or based off of what goes on in my head

Quite a fast pace you got going here. Of you're hyping the characters like that then cool, but they sorta just blended together in my head. Didn't really have their own voice.

There was also a lot of telling when it came to interactions with the others, especially the sisters. Try to describe more with added dialogue to add to the scene. Show vs. Telling can immensely help a story be that much better.

Still love what you've done so far

Pretty sick, definitely feels well fleshed out. Should be interesting to see you play out this with dark magic users that cannot die. Especially ones that are already so powerful.

Awesome!

Finally, somebody calls twilight out on her shit! Now they just need to get Celestia.

bro, this story is addicting as all hell! when is the next chapter due to come out? but take your time, you can't rush genius.

the only complaint I have is pacing its fast but not like "oh hey bad guy *two seconds later* oh hey the bad guy is gone and forgotten"
it's more of a somewhat drawn out conversation and it gives me a headache but other than that this is amazing

The dragon… moaned girlishly… oh my god it’s a GAY dragon! “Mmmm, what can I help you two sweeties with?” At this, it wiggled its back slightly, causing the crystal to go in further. William went pale and vomited, and I frowned at an upcoming awkward situation.

Hah gayyy!

That is true ponies are racist as hell

I chuckled slightly at the sight of the mare panicking, and walked in the front door of the restaurant. Upon seeing my corpse, I pulled from my hobby of acting and screamed, “CHAUNCEY! NOOOO! MY ONLY BROTHER!” I pointed at the still panicking mare. “WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM YOU BITCH?!”

Bravo, sir.

I forgot to ask, did they model their house off of the Great Deku Tree?

9119553
think of a combination of that and Zecora's house and you got it, though it's like six times bigger than Zecora's house.

NeoLegendDJ

Time for William to dip?
Dip what?
Himself?
Is he going to turn himself human again.

9121447
Nope, he flew through Canterlot, and was seen by the ponies in Ponyville, so he essentially shafted himself into staying as a pony most of the time. Also, 'dip' as in 'leave' not literally dip himself.

NeoLegendDJ

ahhhhhhhh even beter than the original episode

“I just wanted to welcome you home, master, do you want dinner? A bath? Or… me?” I froze up at that and frowned, unknowing of how I should proceed,

Really that anime line XD

I guarantee at least one of the dislikes on this story is because of this particular chapter not portraying ponies as being perfect, objectively morally good individuals. Man, people need to realize that even in the show they're not like that. Altruistic, yes, but not perfectly good.

This is absolutely amazing. I went through all 10 currently published chapters probably without even blinking, and you left me wanting more. Good job taking the "OP Random Protagonist Buddies" cliche and actually making it interesting. Looking forward to more stuff.

9123495
If you've read to the end, you know that Rarity is a total bitch, who only uses Spike and is generally racist. We tried to make the universe the story is set in as realistic as possible, at least psychologically/politically speaking, especially in the case of racism.

NeoLegendDJ

Hey, who here would like an AU fic for Yog x Pinkie?

“Hey, give me one of those large rubies.” William said to me as we entered the large empty room of floor four. I pulled one out of the bag of holding, and tossed it to him. He caught it, and a twisted stand rose out of the dark wood of the floor. He placed it on top, and tendrils sprang from the wood and wrapped around the large ruby. A red flame ignited in the depths of the ruby, and William placed his hand on the surface of the gem. A projection above the stand, and Canterlot was visible. He zoomed it in on the castle, then on the throne room, where the ponies inside around Celestia started panicking. In one of the walls, a clear reflection of what was causing the ponies to panic was visible. It was a large, fiery purple eye with a slitted pupil, floating in the air. Celestia was laughing her ass off, seemingly having recognized William’s magic.

William shut off the feed, and turned to me, “Palantir?”

I nodded once. “Palantir,” I confirmed.

Iluvatar damnit!:rainbowlaugh:

9160910
Nah fam, Palantir from Minas Ithil in Middle Earth: Shadow of War.

NeoLegendDJ

Now time for a victory ree! F:flutterrage:CKING NORMY'S REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

9123397
NOOOOOO KANNA MY ONLY WEAKNESS!

9161056
eyy that shit is cannon shadow is not (the video game series) shadow are non-cannon side games to have you play in Mordor without making the mc an ork or Uruk


pippin almost had a seizure in the original trilogy from just holding it and Saruman had it in his tower

This story started so unbearably fast, that I couldn't even figure out what was happening or where they were half the time. Hell, sometimes I had to struggle to figure out who was actually talking at some points. It felt like every paragraph was a chapter synopsis, and it was difficult figuring out the MCs personalities.

Gotta say, glad I stuck through it. Figured I'd give it a shot regardless, see if it improved and it definitely has. Still a touch faster than I'm used to, but I can at least follow what's happening. My biggest piece of advice is one that, by now, you seem to be getting the hang of: Show, don't tell. It's tempting, and hell, even appropriate sometimes, to just put "He was angry. He said,", but it's a lot more visual and invoking to say something akin to "A fire burned inside him, rage overtaking him. With a glare and a stomp, he spoke"

Hope this isn't something you've been told several times before, I know how annoying that can be. I'll definitely be watching this story, both for the story itself and to see ya grow as a writer!

9199472
Nah, it's cool. Krahtorra's writing style is more tell not show, where mine is the opposite. Since this was initially his brainchild, in the beginning a lot of the writing was done by him, though now it's more balanced out.

~NeoLegendDJ~

great chapter and i hope to see more soon

So they are overpowered as shit, because every time they die they get duplicates of everything they had on them, and get 2 times more powerful by obsorbing the power of their previous bodies, or get an undead servant. And not just one of them gets more powerful they both do by by absorbing something different about the bodies. I cannot wait to see how they abuse the shit out of this.

9170164
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

love this 10/10


Would read again

9203519
The fact that they aren't already some Outer God tier being means they clearly don't have the right mindset. A true munchkin would spend a few weeks continually respawning and powering up before even attempting anything else lol. Though I like this story's interpretation of immortality - and it gets around one of the problems with immortality, namely things like drowning, being locked up, and so on. If your body stays alive through everything, something like drowning just infinitely kills and rezzes you, wheras this "respawn in a localized area" could eventually escape.

I frowned, “Hey, we felt like we’d be crummy friends if we left you high and dry to face a dragon, besides, Smog was nice, he was just kicked outta his actual home by some asshole who led him on. And besides, if he was an actually mean dragon, do you think you’d stand ANY chance in HELL of surviving? We are skilled fighters who CAN. NOT. DIE. Whereas you can die, and this world needs you girls, you bring so much light with you all. But we just bring… us. With all the trouble that brings.” I grinned sadly, “Even if we could die permanently, would anyone miss us? No, we are expendable. We are an acceptable loss, whereas you six? If some big bad comes that we can’t handle, your elements are the LAST. RESORT.”

“He has a point, sugarcube,” Applejack drawled.

“Yeah, they are not as vital as we are, dear,” Rarity said.

OOOOOOOWWWWWWCCCCCCCHHHHHHHH THAT HURT

Is it wrong of me to want for Hades and James to travel the multiverse and visit other Equestrias to slap certain bytches? (looking at you, Xenolestia):trollestia:

This story has my attention, and i want more, but if the author would not mind, i had a brain storm of idea that he could include.

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