- Member Since 3rd Aug, 2018
- offline last seen Feb 6th, 2021
DJ and Krahtorra
A collab account between Mordred and LordKrahtorra.
DJ and Krahtorra
Joined 3rd Aug, 2018 ·
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This story is stupid and I loved every second of it. I will definitely be keeping an eye on this one.
This needs some TFS references.
9088044
We may or may not have some in the future. Really depends on whether or not I can remember any. Also, I as in NeoLegendDJ, not LordKrahtorra
9088100
Here's an easy one.
I had to stop
From the point of meeting the princesses, to several paragraphs into talking with the Mane 6, it was very rushed. You were doing so well too, good story at the start, and while the interaction of the guards was awkward, it was at least made up for it in bringing the MCs to the princesses. Everything after that was like you just couldn't wait, you needed those shipping lanes charted and the ships out to sea in the same day, learning later that they're empty of material and lacking fuel.
So I gotta pass for now, hopefully it'll get better if I come across this again later
Hey clones! A warning don't start getting laid in that world! It's weird!
Much memes and no please kill those THOTS before they get pregnant!
Constructive criticism, everything's moving much to fast and everyone's way too calm for what's happening. Also no one immediately just explains stuff like how they can respawn casually like that.
This story seems like it was made for me or based off of what goes on in my head
Quite a fast pace you got going here. Of you're hyping the characters like that then cool, but they sorta just blended together in my head. Didn't really have their own voice.
There was also a lot of telling when it came to interactions with the others, especially the sisters. Try to describe more with added dialogue to add to the scene. Show vs. Telling can immensely help a story be that much better.
Still love what you've done so far
Pretty sick, definitely feels well fleshed out. Should be interesting to see you play out this with dark magic users that cannot die. Especially ones that are already so powerful.
Awesome!
Finally, somebody calls twilight out on her shit! Now they just need to get Celestia.
bro, this story is addicting as all hell! when is the next chapter due to come out? but take your time, you can't rush genius.
the only complaint I have is pacing its fast but not like "oh hey bad guy *two seconds later* oh hey the bad guy is gone and forgotten"
it's more of a somewhat drawn out conversation and it gives me a headache but other than that this is amazing
Hah gayyy!
That is true ponies are racist as hell
Bravo, sir.
I forgot to ask, did they model their house off of the Great Deku Tree?
9119553
think of a combination of that and Zecora's house and you got it, though it's like six times bigger than Zecora's house.
NeoLegendDJ
Time for William to dip?
Dip what?
Himself?
Is he going to turn himself human again.
9121447
Nope, he flew through Canterlot, and was seen by the ponies in Ponyville, so he essentially shafted himself into staying as a pony most of the time. Also, 'dip' as in 'leave' not literally dip himself.
NeoLegendDJ
ahhhhhhhh even beter than the original episode
Really that anime line XD
I guarantee at least one of the dislikes on this story is because of this particular chapter not portraying ponies as being perfect, objectively morally good individuals. Man, people need to realize that even in the show they're not like that. Altruistic, yes, but not perfectly good.
This is absolutely amazing. I went through all 10 currently published chapters probably without even blinking, and you left me wanting more. Good job taking the "OP Random Protagonist Buddies" cliche and actually making it interesting. Looking forward to more stuff.
9123495
If you've read to the end, you know that Rarity is a total bitch, who only uses Spike and is generally racist. We tried to make the universe the story is set in as realistic as possible, at least psychologically/politically speaking, especially in the case of racism.
NeoLegendDJ
Hey, who here would like an AU fic for Yog x Pinkie?
9099024
i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/172/010/6e4.jpg
Iluvatar damnit!
9160910
Nah fam, Palantir from Minas Ithil in Middle Earth: Shadow of War.
NeoLegendDJ
9160577
derpicdn.net/img/view/2013/8/18/403746__safe_oc_animated_derpy+hooves_meme_drama_fluffle+puff_vibrating_screaming_descriptive+noise_x+intensifies.gif Silent screaming.
Now time for a victory ree! F
CKING NORMY'S REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
9123397
NOOOOOO KANNA MY ONLY WEAKNESS!
9161056
eyy that shit is cannon shadow is not (the video game series) shadow are non-cannon side games to have you play in Mordor without making the mc an ork or Uruk
pippin almost had a seizure in the original trilogy from just holding it and Saruman had it in his tower
9117811
........
had to
This story started so unbearably fast, that I couldn't even figure out what was happening or where they were half the time. Hell, sometimes I had to struggle to figure out who was actually talking at some points. It felt like every paragraph was a chapter synopsis, and it was difficult figuring out the MCs personalities.
Gotta say, glad I stuck through it. Figured I'd give it a shot regardless, see if it improved and it definitely has. Still a touch faster than I'm used to, but I can at least follow what's happening. My biggest piece of advice is one that, by now, you seem to be getting the hang of: Show, don't tell. It's tempting, and hell, even appropriate sometimes, to just put "He was angry. He said,", but it's a lot more visual and invoking to say something akin to "A fire burned inside him, rage overtaking him. With a glare and a stomp, he spoke"
Hope this isn't something you've been told several times before, I know how annoying that can be. I'll definitely be watching this story, both for the story itself and to see ya grow as a writer!
9199472
Nah, it's cool. Krahtorra's writing style is more tell not show, where mine is the opposite. Since this was initially his brainchild, in the beginning a lot of the writing was done by him, though now it's more balanced out.
~NeoLegendDJ~
great chapter and i hope to see more soon
So they are overpowered as shit, because every time they die they get duplicates of everything they had on them, and get 2 times more powerful by obsorbing the power of their previous bodies, or get an undead servant. And not just one of them gets more powerful they both do by by absorbing something different about the bodies. I cannot wait to see how they abuse the shit out of this.
9170164
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
love this 10/10
Would read again
9204038
9203519
The fact that they aren't already some Outer God tier being means they clearly don't have the right mindset. A true munchkin would spend a few weeks continually respawning and powering up before even attempting anything else lol. Though I like this story's interpretation of immortality - and it gets around one of the problems with immortality, namely things like drowning, being locked up, and so on. If your body stays alive through everything, something like drowning just infinitely kills and rezzes you, wheras this "respawn in a localized area" could eventually escape.
9209312
Hell's yea
*WHEEZING*
OOOOOOOWWWWWWCCCCCCCHHHHHHHH THAT HURT
Is it wrong of me to want for Hades and James to travel the multiverse and visit other Equestrias to slap certain bytches? (looking at you, Xenolestia)
This story has my attention, and i want more, but if the author would not mind, i had a brain storm of idea that he could include.