Nightshade is a thestral who was transferred from the Lunar Guard to Twilight's royal guard. Like Scootaloo, he was an orphan. And that bond of understanding is why he adopts Scootaloo. Also like Scootaloo, he has issues that he has to work through. Though they are not the only ones with issues. Rainbow Dash also has her issues to work through as well, having secrets about her past that she is ashamed of.
Scootaloo is a pegasus filly who has trouble flying and is a member of the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Like Nightshade Scootaloo is an orphan. Though she has trust issues, that bond of understanding will perhaps be what helps break through her shell. But though she has her issues, she realizes that Nightshade also has issues. And she learns that holding in your feelings can be harmful.
Rainbow Dash is a pegasus who's the winner of the Best Young Fliers competition as well as being a Wonderbolt. On the surface, she is confident in herself. However, nopony can keep up a facade like that forever. And secrets about her past, and her bond with Scootaloo, are revealed. And those secrets may jeopardize her bond with Scootaloo. But those secrets, as painful as they may be, has to be explained to understand her reluctance to adopt Scootaloo herself.
[I didn't have any prereaders or editors for the first chapter. But Chapters 2 and up are preread by THMXTaylorLee. Anyone else who's willing to preread/edit are welcome to contact me.]
Decent start, but I think the grammar needs a tad bit of work. Had to reread a few sentences a few times. Also you should add a bat pony tag.
Overall I am curious to see how a threstal is related to Rarity and Sweatie
9067049
I didn't even notice that there was a Bat Pony tag. But I'll be sure to make the edit.
Ah, the ever stealthy typo. It slips in between the statement, "well, I think I got all of them." and the push of the publish button.
After visiting the part pony [party] ?
Choosing to take that as a que. [ cue ]
Just promise me that you’ll alway live up to that nickname.” [always]
9102184
Thanks for pointing those out. I've fixed them. I guess even a prereader can't catch everything. (I can't figure out how I forgot the Y in party. Because it happened twice in that same paragraph.)
I think it slips after the statement, "Well, I think I got all of them." and in between the statement, "My prereader corrected my spelling and grammar errors." and the upsh of the publish button.
Honestly I think Sweetie was a bit out of line. Her family is different but it could also be the exception. Scootaloo is an actual orphan who has gone through being passed by several times or more so she has a right to act this way.
Also I would have thought living in ponyville would be cheaper than Canterlot. Plus Twilight always struck me as somepony who pays her guards. How is it he needs three jobs and doesn't pass out
9102810
First of all, there's no indication in canon how much a house costs. And he was surprised at how cheap it was. That was in part because he's used to the higher prices of Canterlot. Secondly, he's renting to buy, which (like with credit) comes with interest. Thirdly, I'm also taking into account that a bit is 1/8 of a dollar. So 800 bits a month is only $100 a month (and he's choosing to pay that). And finally, It is a good place he's buying.
Onto Twilight's payroll. She will pay him. But his role as her guard hasn't officially started yet. And it won't pay as much because he won't be on constant duty like with the other princesses. (Also, I hope you're not assuming he gets special treatment for being a royal guard.) His job at Quills and Sofas is just to get by with for now, since not only is he buying a house, but also furniture. And it's just a temp job. And the weather team job is intended to be his steady job. You're not wrong though. It will be tiring.
And just because Scootaloo has the right to be angry, it doesn't mean her words are less frustrating. They are still children after all. And there's more to it than just anger.
I just read through this, and it's pretty good. The only things I would do differently are make it not a Scootadopt fic, as it seems to mainly focus on Night, and all of his interactions, not just the ones focusing on Scootaloo.
That said, this is a good story, and it probably deserves more notice.
9519635
Well, this is supposed to be more than just a Scootadopt fic. But it's also still early in the story. But I appreciate the praise nonetheless.
9520154
No problem. This is quality work. I was just saying it feels like a slice of life where Scootaloo gets adopted instead of a scootadopt.
Will this be continued?
10527806
Honestly, it's hard for me to say either way. I don't intend on canceling this fic if I can help it. But I have three other projects that I'm currently working on which are taking up a lot of my attention. Although, that reminds me that I should perhaps give this story the On Hiatus tag.
10538333
Alright
quite interesting
I like how this story is going, but being no updates since 2019 it is most likely that it is a dead story. I hope I am wrong but it really seems like it is dead.
11825677
If I ever do return to this story, I'll likely just start over with a new story. As much as I hate leaving stories unfinished, I probably should just label this as cancelled.
11825785
It's such a good concept and I loved how the OC is and the story line so far. I understand that you might rewrite it as a new story one day. I would love to see it.
11825796
I personally hate leaving stories unfinished. So I consider loss of inspiration my worst enemy. That and I have so many story ideas in my head than I can keep up with.
11825802
A lot of writers have that problem on this site, maybe you feel like writing more for this story sometime after writing one that you could use as a crossover or a prequel.