What if we died right now, but we were able to have communication with our loved ones?
What would we say? What would we do?
This is the question Pinkie has to ponder.
Chapters (2)
finesthour
Joined 2nd Dec, 2011 ·
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That was a long read Finest xD
and it was worth it, I didn't come close to crying, I got a bit of a dark feeling though, kinda like when I read "Somewhere Only We Know"
I gives ita 4.5/10
>Says nice read.
4.5/10
Do you mean out of 5? xD
“Twi, listen. Please don’t cry for me. I’m obviously going to leave the world soon... that much I can see already. But please, you need to smile for me. I don’t want your last memory of me to be hazy because of tears.” <3
It was very well done, no major problems in it. But I did point out the few small contradictions to you, and hopefully you've fixed them by now. 9/10 and dat ending.
991309
I never want to see a perfect rating on this fic.
Perfection does not exist, so seeing honest scores are always the best.
And yes, I fixed them as you read :p
It wasn't really that sad to me. The grammar was nice and the story was decent. I liked the ending too.
3.8/5 I guess.
So here's a question: How come I can see this with the link you gave on MLPF but not on your profile?
Anyways, great story. Hoof on, friend.
997169
I put it on my profile? o.o
Ah well, I'll go check it out. Read your review on the forums too. Thanks for reading c:
...
Don't forget to thumbs up and favorite if you liked it :p
997218
I meant that your profile here on fimfiction didn't seem to have the story on it.
I did thumbs and I hit fav... did it not go thruu?
997305
Yeah, I see it now :p
It's probably because it hasn't been put on the main page yet.
Poor Pinkie, killed by one of her best friends.
997780
Shh, don't ruin the surprise for lurkers c:
i.imgur.com/HxZQz.jpg
that ending....
No!
that went from depressing to slightly grimdark.
Also, You were really repetitive in a few paragraphs. Not a problem, just felt weird on the tongue, trying to read it. Example: "Slowly".
"...I slowly walked across the clouds."
"...it began to open slowly. Curiosity took the best of me, and I slowly walked..."
You did this only a few other times, for another example, in Rarity's speech: "As Well".
"...I will never forget you as well, Pinkie. A lady keeps her word, as well..."
997922
Clifff hanger, hanging from a cliiiiff..
And that's why they call him cliff hanger!
Fluttershy killed Pinkie Pie!?
what a twist!
I feel you deserve a compliment. I don't exactly know how I found this story, but I do know it was very thought-provoking and well written. You're a very good writer.
Cheers.
I'm surprised this isn't more popular. While the writing is rather flawed with several things being repeated through alternative wording in quite a few places, I still absolutely enjoyed the story. When I read fanfictions I don't expect a professional level of writing, but it seems many do. Sad that they miss out on some wonderful stories just because they don't like how it's written.
Great story all around. It's not a tear jerker but it gets the feels going, which is nice. 8/10 from me :)