Duet - Fimfiction

Duet

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Bronyprophet

Bronyprophet #1 · Jun 19th, 2018 · · · Afternoon ·

judicious amounts of of cuddling and kissing 'constructive'.

There is an error here.

It should be judivious amounts of of cuddling, and kissing, 'constructive'.

That's how its suppose to be written

There is another error here

He ask,his face almost firehouse red. Since it was relatively warm out, the two had dressed light; Octavia was in shorts and a crop top t-shirt, while Vinyl had opted for a halter top and miniskirt

It should be

He asked, his face almost firehouse red. Since it was relatively warm out, the two had dressed light; Octavia was in shorts and a crop top t-shirt, while Vinyl had opted for a halter top and miniskirt.

Another error

She head Vinyl do a couple more noisy gulps before licking the head clean, sending another pleasurable spasm through her. "To hell with ice cream." She purred, standing up to kiss Octavia. "I want some more ofthatfor my next dessert!"

It should be

She heard Vinyl make a couple more noisy gulps before licking the head clean, sending another pleasurable spasm through her. "To hell with ice cream." She purred, standing up to kiss Octavia. "I want some more ofthatfor my next dessert!"

You are in dire need of a proof reader another error

Before Vinyl could reply - outside of a VERY eager grin - the rapid, and heavy, patter of rain reached them and the both peeked out the window to see...well, the could barely see anything from the heavy rain. Even the buildings across the street were hidden from view.

It should be

Before Vinyl could reply - outside of a VERY eager grin - they heard the rapid, and heavy, patter of rain reach them and they both peeked out of the window to see...well, they could barely see anything from the heavy rain. Even the buildings across the street were hidden from view.

GoodVibes