The Amazing Sounds of Orgy

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Comments ( 20 )

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The Elusive Badgerpony

The Elusive Badgerpony #1 · Mar 15th, 2015 · 6 · · Chapter 2 ·

>taviscratch
>orgy
>kloudmutt for cover art
>recognize the author's name
>wonder how far you've come since last time

I will read this in fap mode and then review it in review mode because it's been a long while since apple family lesson

NorrisThePony

NorrisThePony #2 · Mar 15th, 2015 · 4 · · Chapter 2 ·

Cease this endless chattering, like everything is fine.

Solas Mean Oiche

Solas Mean Oiche #3 · Mar 15th, 2015 · 1 · · Chapter 2 ·

Very hot. I hope you write a sequel.

The Elusive Badgerpony

The Elusive Badgerpony #4 · Mar 16th, 2015 · 4 · · Chapter 2 ·

You've gotten better, but I recommend toning down the dialogue a bit. By the end it was just getting laughably porn-y.

Also there's a few redundant things here and there (like mentioning what Octavia was wearing twice) and a lot of the dialogue felt copy-pasted, too. It's not awful, but you've got some work to do, and I'm confident that with this jump of quality between the last fic of yours I read (Apple Family Lesson) and this that you can really be something extraordinary with a bit more finesse and a good editor.

Valiant Charge

Valiant Charge #5 · Mar 16th, 2015 · · · Chapter 2 ·

What? no exchange of phone numbers?

brushed by death

brushed by death #6 · Mar 16th, 2015 · · · Chapter 2 ·

The imagry is just.......wow, grate wrighting

can i haz more?

Meridian Prime

Meridian Prime #7 · Mar 17th, 2015 · · · Chapter 2 ·

The fic isn't bad - not the best I've read, but far from the worst. And it's certainly an improvement on your previous work - I think 5742382 pretty much covered it in fact.

But, and I don't know if this was intentional, I freaking love you for the reference in the title.

ScousePone

ScousePone #8 · Mar 17th, 2015 · 1 · · Chapter 2 ·

5748331 It was most certainly intentional

Meridian Prime

Meridian Prime #9 · Mar 17th, 2015 · · · Chapter 2 ·

5748609
derpicdn.net/img/view/2012/6/29/25807__safe_happy_artist-colon-sweethd_thumbs+up_motivation.jpg

Sol Daybreak

Sol Daybreak #10 · Mar 18th, 2015 · · · Chapter 2 ·

Very Nice. Very hot.

Thunder Lightning

Thunder Lightning #11 · Mar 21st, 2015 · · · Chapter 2 ·

Damn, that was hot

Marioland1

Marioland1 #12 · Apr 2nd, 2015 · · · Chapter 1 ·

I don't know if she's ready, but I certainly am. Onwards to chapter 2!

ScousePone

ScousePone #13 · Apr 3rd, 2015 · · · Chapter 2 ·

5813717 Be careful, Marioland1

domosRAGE

domosRAGE #14 · Apr 8th, 2015 · · · Chapter 2 ·

This... Was a great story. Although I'm kind of disappointed that there wasn't any footie stuff included when a few times it felt like it was heading in that direction. Either way, bravo sir

Ravvij

Ravvij #15 · Feb 3rd, 2016 · · · Chapter 2 ·

Great piece! It was enjoyable and kept pace fairly well. My ONLY complaint is that there as a few spots where there could have been more description as to what position the characters were in.

Raidah