Nicely done! The writing style is a bit simplistic, but I'd say it's got the building blocks of writing success down pat. I'll give this a watch and see where it goes!
8973563 Thank you! Tbh I usually write better but I wasn't feeling as inspired for this one. But it happens to all of us. But the next, with Rarity and Capper, is much better in my opinion. I should be posting that one later today.
I'm not exactly a one shot fan but I guess I have to read it if it has to do with the other story I liked so much.
However I can already say I dislike the Cheese Sandwich and Pinkie Pie clone shipping. Applejack and Rara or how she was actually named sounds good enough even if it goes into that "you are my first friend" direction again I think. Is that one shipping Rainbow and one of Starlights old friends?, I found that shipping interessting before so that is good enough.
Capper x Rarity is much better than Spike x Rarity and just works better in my head so good job. I actually believe you will write it good enough.
Tree Hugger was or is one of my favourite characters and it is not the typical Fluttershy x Discord shipping which I got used to, but which is to typical already. I want to say this was a good idea too.
Well I might have to start these here at some point and I fear the next gen will start with the children like you said once.
I really hope Tempest is still going to feel like one of the main chars there.
8998419 Ah don't feel like you have to read it, this is just setting up relationships that'll be mentioned in the future. It's mostly just for anyone that might be curious as to how they get together, but it's not required reading. I had a few options for Pinkie, I heavily considered Princess Skystar, and I thought about Party Favor, but in the end I decided I liked the idea of her and Cheese having a really goofy but loving relationship and decided to just pair them up. Besides I've already designed their kid and I'm already attached to him. And yeah, Night Glider is from Starlight's village, she seemed like a good match for Rainbow. I found Rarity/Capper to be adorable so of course I put them together. I was unsure about Applejack for a while but decided Rara would be cute with her, so it stuck. Same for Fluttershy and Tree Hugger, I see a lot of potential there. I mostly wanted to try out more unusual pairings. Of course Twilight/Sunset is common as is Pinkie/Cheese, but the rest will certainly be interesting to explore. I'm sure I'll write plenty with my universe, I love Tempest but I gotta show some love to some OCs of mine too. I'll try to find a good balance between the two.
“What? But it’s eight AM! We should be heading to the mountains by now! Ugh, he always forgets our dates!” Rainbow scowled and dumped her stuff on the ground, zipping up to the window of Double Diamond’s house. “Hey Double D! Wake up!”
Honestly thought they meant as friends a moment before.
I'm just starting with this, but the first romance already feels nice somehow, I'm really not sure how you call it if you just feel comfortable with how it's written, but yes I like it.
While I like the idea between Chapper and Rarity, I have the weird feeling that it will hurt a bit more to read that one and the Pinkie x clone character shipping than I image it right now. Maybe you actually make them likeable or you just make Pinkie and Cheesee goof around the whole story which will probably feel slightly weird.
I just don't like Cheese Sandwich that much even if I would probably accept him if we didn't already had Pinkie and if pretty much the same characters where put in t a relationship.
“Wow, you’re on time for once,” Rainbow commented.
I expected him to dissapoint her again.
Sorry if I always start with that, but I'm really slightly dissapointed with the reactions to Discord and Tempest since I kind of hoped to get another kick/laugh out of it and can't image how this will continue. I know you already said some stuff about it, but I hope it's not having a big timeskip. i really hate those stories in which it suddenly says "overall those years Tempest and "half of the town" got really good friends, they played cards every weekend and whatever", then we just have to deal with her and her new friends trying to find something to like about those characters who where suddenly thrown into the mix.
Diamond frowned. “Oh. Yeah, I… guess I can get pretty talkative. But I can work on it! Please, if you want to talk, go ahead!”
I guess I hoped to get a "bad guy" to blame in this story.
Rainbow’s heart beat faster. “Oh, really? Well, I’m sure you can find a stallion like that.”
Night chuckled. “It doesn’t have to be a stallion.”
Okay I knew that shipping would work for me and it's really nice, but I have something I wanna say since I barely see it anywhere. I always imaged stories in which someone cofesses their love and the other one isn't suddenly going from 0% in love to 100% in love with that person too. Long story short, in a moment it looked like Rainbow would ask for a date and Nightglider would be a bit more well just not entertaining the idea yet, being together with Rainbow i mean, till she asks her openly of course.
You could say I image there to be three possibilities 1.Like here, that both of them are interessted in each other 2. One is interessted and the other one get's along with the idea once he/she get's told about it 3. One person is confessing and the other person admits he doesn't like her that way but would be willing to try it out and stuff like that.
Not sure if I managed to make three different possibilities without making them to similar but it's harder in english for me.
In adoptions or romance stories i hardly see option three, where the second person isn't accepting that pony that fast.
“Alright, so we all know he was Starlight’s most loyal lackey, but what you don’t know is just how much he helped her even in private…”
Please don't tell me he was something like her playtoy. For Starlights sake in this story I really hope she was actually trying to date him in her own way. If I understood it right and this is something the next sequel with be based on, then I really hope Starlight was not that kind of person.
Well to make it easy to see, I say it again here. I liked this shipping.
8998769 Not sure why Fluttershy and Tree Hugger feel different, probably because Rainbow was her first friend and I'm still suprised that it looks like I can entertain the idea of Applejack and whatever Raras real name is, but i think I said already I normally hate those typical shippings normally.
Pinkie X Cheese is something that is still difficult to me, Discord x fluttershy I can manage.
-looks at the cover art and sees Sunset Shimmer and Princess Twilight Sparkle as a Couple- YES!!!!! MY OTP SHIPPING!!!!!!!! <3
8972628
Yee a lot of the pairings I decided to go with are a bit strange but I just HAD to have Twilight and Sunset, I love them.
8972643
<3
And you know what else is special about those two as my OTP? :3
8972671
What's that?
8972674
They are both back to back in my favorite Characters list from MLP! :D
Here's what I mean:
Sunset Shimmer is, without a doubt, My #1 and My All Time Favorite Character Ever in the Entire Series! <3
Twilight Sparkle is my 2nd Favorite Character for being my Favorite Mane 6 Member :)
See what I mean? :D
8972683
Oh, nice! It's always good when your favorite characters are so shippable.
8972708
yep :3
Well I don't think this be a story of my taste.
8973245
That's fair, thanks for stopping by anyway. :)
Nicely done! The writing style is a bit simplistic, but I'd say it's got the building blocks of writing success down pat. I'll give this a watch and see where it goes!
8973563
Thank you! Tbh I usually write better but I wasn't feeling as inspired for this one. But it happens to all of us. But the next, with Rarity and Capper, is much better in my opinion. I should be posting that one later today.
I'm not exactly a one shot fan but I guess I have to read it if it has to do with the other story I liked so much.
However I can already say I dislike the Cheese Sandwich and Pinkie Pie clone shipping.
Applejack and Rara or how she was actually named sounds good enough even if it goes into that "you are my first friend" direction again I think.
Is that one shipping Rainbow and one of Starlights old friends?, I found that shipping interessting before so that is good enough.
Capper x Rarity is much better than Spike x Rarity and just works better in my head so good job. I actually believe you will write it good enough.
Tree Hugger was or is one of my favourite characters and it is not the typical Fluttershy x Discord shipping which I got used to, but which is to typical already. I want to say this was a good idea too.
Well I might have to start these here at some point and I fear the next gen will start with the children like you said once.
I really hope Tempest is still going to feel like one of the main chars there.
8998419
Ah don't feel like you have to read it, this is just setting up relationships that'll be mentioned in the future. It's mostly just for anyone that might be curious as to how they get together, but it's not required reading.
I had a few options for Pinkie, I heavily considered Princess Skystar, and I thought about Party Favor, but in the end I decided I liked the idea of her and Cheese having a really goofy but loving relationship and decided to just pair them up. Besides I've already designed their kid and I'm already attached to him.
And yeah, Night Glider is from Starlight's village, she seemed like a good match for Rainbow. I found Rarity/Capper to be adorable so of course I put them together. I was unsure about Applejack for a while but decided Rara would be cute with her, so it stuck. Same for Fluttershy and Tree Hugger, I see a lot of potential there.
I mostly wanted to try out more unusual pairings. Of course Twilight/Sunset is common as is Pinkie/Cheese, but the rest will certainly be interesting to explore. I'm sure I'll write plenty with my universe, I love Tempest but I gotta show some love to some OCs of mine too. I'll try to find a good balance between the two.
Honestly thought they meant as friends a moment before.
I'm just starting with this, but the first romance already feels nice somehow, I'm really not sure how you call it if you just feel comfortable with how it's written, but yes I like it.
While I like the idea between Chapper and Rarity, I have the weird feeling that it will hurt a bit more to read that one and the Pinkie x clone character shipping than I image it right now. Maybe you actually make them likeable or you just make Pinkie and Cheesee goof around the whole story which will probably feel slightly weird.
I just don't like Cheese Sandwich that much even if I would probably accept him if we didn't already had Pinkie and if pretty much the same characters where put in t a relationship.
I expected him to dissapoint her again.
Sorry if I always start with that, but I'm really slightly dissapointed with the reactions to Discord and Tempest since I kind of hoped to get another kick/laugh out of it and can't image how this will continue. I know you already said some stuff about it, but I hope it's not having a big timeskip.
i really hate those stories in which it suddenly says "overall those years Tempest and "half of the town" got really good friends, they played cards every weekend and whatever", then we just have to deal with her and her new friends trying to find something to like about those characters who where suddenly thrown into the mix.
I guess I hoped to get a "bad guy" to blame in this story.
Okay I knew that shipping would work for me and it's really nice, but I have something I wanna say since I barely see it anywhere.
I always imaged stories in which someone cofesses their love and the other one isn't suddenly going from 0% in love to 100% in love with that person too.
Long story short, in a moment it looked like Rainbow would ask for a date and Nightglider would be a bit more well just not entertaining the idea yet, being together with Rainbow i mean, till she asks her openly of course.
You could say I image there to be three possibilities
1.Like here, that both of them are interessted in each other
2. One is interessted and the other one get's along with the idea once he/she get's told about it
3. One person is confessing and the other person admits he doesn't like her that way but would be willing to try it out and stuff like that.
Not sure if I managed to make three different possibilities without making them to similar but it's harder in english for me.
In adoptions or romance stories i hardly see option three, where the second person isn't accepting that pony that fast.
Please don't tell me he was something like her playtoy. For Starlights sake in this story I really hope she was actually trying to date him in her own way. If I understood it right and this is something the next sequel with be based on, then I really hope Starlight was not that kind of person.
Well to make it easy to see, I say it again here.
I liked this shipping.
8998769
Not sure why Fluttershy and Tree Hugger feel different, probably because Rainbow was her first friend and I'm still suprised that it looks like I can entertain the idea of Applejack and whatever Raras real name is, but i think I said already I normally hate those typical shippings normally.
Pinkie X Cheese is something that is still difficult to me, Discord x fluttershy I can manage.