• Member Since 13th Feb, 2018
  • offline last seen May 24th

Unknown Ficwriter


Comments ( 10 )

Like this story.
I'm curious for more.

8905334
I'm glad you've enjoyed the story so far

Lesson number 1: don't fuck with Chryssie or she'll have to choke a bitch or a few.

D'awwww ~ Adoracreepy.

Also, dragons are dicks.

I like this story so far.

8906157
I'm glad that you've enjoyed the story so far.

Yes, their revenge is coming ever closer.

Damn regular changelings and their easily swayed loyalty.

Hopefully something bad will happen to Thorax and his filthy hive.

I'd suggest splitting conversations into lines based on who's speaking:

"Blah blah blah," X said. "Blah."

"Yadda Yadda!" Came Y's shocked answer.

'thin white envelop from the bag' - envelope

8914416
Thank you for your critics, hopefully, I've caught them all. I appreciate your help in making this story as great as it can be.

Chelsie seems nice.

Hissss, don't mention the traitor's name!

'That’s how it use to be before' - used

'parameter guards' - perimeter guards

Infiltration in progress.

... Why do I imagine that Chryssie will soon start feeling really anxious not knowing how he's doing?

'Zembani rained in' - reigned

'no Spike was.. Rarity halted' - was..." Rarity

Ponies are evil i guess.

Celestia's a dick.

Uh - oh, a dragon attack. Hope Chryssie is alright.

'shared a gasped as their eyes' - gasp

'To weak' - Too

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