Channeling insanity into entertaining tales since 2015-01-19.
[Third Person] Equisverse β
Commissioned by Neece.
After Rock-Roc attack upon the Thestral city of Deepdelve Public Defender Midnight Glide interrogates a group of vigilantes who illegally came to the city’s defense. But will the stubborn lawyer's attempts to point out the basic fact that he law is what it is stop the Batmares when the defend their actions as an organized protest against a bad law?
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Nanananana
Yeah, living under Cadence is not for the faint of heart. Or vanilla. Or some hefty tolerance towards the /d/eviancy of others.
Such weakness does pave the way to hilariousness though
Crystal' surprise when she discovers they don't have vigilante superheroes is hilariously terrifying. Can you imagine being in a situation you believe everything is ok only to be made aware it's not nearly ok? Girl is though to just bear it and get stuff done.
So their modus operandi resumes itself to "throw rocks at it". Surprisingly effective, all things considered. At least it's not "make friends with the pony eating monster". That only works if you're Fluttershy
Funny how their defense could be resumed to "Six. THOUSAND. Lives. Today." no matter what consequences came, it would be worth it.
I wish I could say anything about the political angle, but I live in Brasil so... It can be even worse
Kinda hard to condemn heroes. Whomever let those girls face time in the slammer would commit political suicide. I can understand Midnight's angle, she wants to help the dumb college kids have some hope of not screwing their whole lives, bit she did forget their best hope of doing so is appealing to the fact that in a magical land of constant monster attacks you need magical heroes. Or a damn effective military. Preferably both
Loved it, Meeps. Including the puns and references. Specially the puns and references
8886750
I'm glad! This one was hard to write. I was worried you would hate it. Glad to know it's quite the opposite!
I'm also glad to know that Midnight doesn't come off as a total bitch. She's meant to be another point of view on a complicated issue. An antagonist, but not a villein.
Ohh Meep! This was a gem. I love stories that take a powered hero’s action and how that interfaces with the rest of the world.
Insert Persona 5 reference here.
Seriously. The only difference is that these heroes wanted to be seen, where as Persona 5’s heroes were staying anonymous.
Poor Midnight. Under normal circumstances, and especially if they had tried to remain anonymous, those six would be looking at a lot more heat in spite of all the good that they did, and that's the burden that she's working under. She's just another pony trying to do best by the world in a world designed to prevent those who can help from doing so...and she really didn't deserve to have Crystal snub her like that. This is someone who has likely seen other attempted activists come and go with nothing ever changing. She's so jaded with the current system that she doesn't honestly think that any small group could ever hope to change it.
As soon as it was mentioned that they had saved the governor's life, though, I knew the six were going to be pardoned, and likely deputized to continue their work. Because yes, the governor does have that kind of authority, and the mares have already managed to get the general populace on their side, and based on the actions of the military during the rockroc attack they would have had their support as well. Really, that's the only way to keep things from falling into complete chaos if you have a society with a large number of powerful beings, have anyone that wants to do the hero job be officially recognized and deputized.
If you have the power to do something, and yet do nothing, can you still look at yourself in the mirror?
I like how you phrased this here. This may be just me, but the attempt at drawing something non-euclidean implies that even the cutie mark creation process kinda...derped, when trying to create a symbol to represent her.
I almost wonder if you should have started with something like this. I understand you're setting up the story-hell, the setting, and you do it remarkably quickly, but this has something to grab my attention. The first paragraph, while it is full of information, isn't really a big grabber for readers prone to clicking on a story, and then leaving if the first paragraph doesn't catch their attention.
Another funny, strangely believable moment. I could almost see this happening in the show itself.
Overall, rather funny story, although I feel like it needs a better attention grabber in the intro.
8888711 Thank you for the coment. I appreciate it.
And yeah, I've always had a problem with hooks. It's because what interests me usually dosnt' interest others. I've tossed books aside that people love because they begin with some character I know nothing about having feelings about things I know nothing about... Only to pick up another book that opens with some world building thing and be all "Ooooo!"
8888768
Hooks are a difficult art to master. It varies by story, and some authors can pull off hooks that others find impossible, and vice versa. My only recommendation is to test out a hook on another person before you publish, see if it grabs their attention. Do this multiple times, if necessary.
What I like about this story: Hammurabi
What I dislike: it’s exactly how America is except the law is now not then