Applejack has it all: family, friends, decent grades. Other than the magical rock that gives her super strength, life seems pretty normal. But what happens when one night she displays some new abilities, abilities that don't seem to be magic based?
New cover image by Gpizano (thanks for that!)
you can see her work here:
(https://www.fimfiction.net/user/277514/Gpizano)
And here: (https://gogglespizano.deviantart.com)
Good start I look forward to more.
Well this seem to be a good indication of what is to come. The dialog was done really well in that I could tell exactly how things were meant to sound. The grammar also seems to be done well too. In all I could only notice one thing off with this.
*she
Can't wait for the next chapter.
Hmmm, so Kara-El landed in Sweet Apple Acres?...that has potential.
8786128Woops! Fixed it!
Going well so far looking forward to more.
Charming.
I'm not sure if this is a countryism or not, but it sounds like there should be a 'sure' in there.
*weren't exactly sure what
8800931
Well, I feel stupid.
There's always that one thing that you miss.
was that what
well, X-ray
When you're doing stuff like messing with font sizes and styles, make sure there is a space between preceding/later words and the bracket.
This is a common problem that you have at least in this chapter. If dialog doesn't end in an exclamation point or question mark, it should be a comma if followed by the dialog tag. So this, along other parts in this chapter should look like this...
If the dialog tag comes before the dialogue then it would be a period, like...
When you have the same person speaking at the end of a paragraph and the next words of the next paragraph is being spoken by the same character you don't include the closing parentheses of the first paragraph. This is done to prevent confusion over who speaking. So it would be...
If you already know that and including it was just an honest mistake I apologize if that last part sounded condescending.
As for who should be her first villain I think we can all agree that AJ is more than a match for Darkseid and fighting him would make for wonderful hands on learning experience
8857042
Funny story there. You know how you can edit the text before submitting? I actually corrected most of that stuff... but I forgot to save it. Thanks for pointing that out.
As for your villain suggestion, well, something tells me that might end painfully.
8858284
Yeah it will, for Darkseid. Well if you need another suggestion I heard that Supergirl once fought this one guy named the Anti-Monitor, you could have AJ fight him.
8858349
i.imgur.com/7aypHeo.png
Noice, can't wait to see recreation of best Superman moments with AJ. XD
Also, first villain? Hmmmm... hard to say. There's so many Superman villains to choose from. It depends on if you want a more badass smack down first or something more cerebral.
Great seeing this back.
9028110
Thanks!
Hopefully I'll update again soon!
Wow, who does the art? They look awesome and with a bit of color, they could 20% more awesome!
9109730
The cover art is by Gpizano.
The interior art is actually by me!
9122367
Nice, AJ's boots in chapter 3 look like All Might's from Boku no Hero Academia.
9125710
Would you believe me if I said that was completely unintentional?
9134879
Yes. Now, as Supergirl when she appears, she should go:
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTeOppwWm4qoVfiDtLGijkzya91cuC8T-oYBuyVLH9mfWznPDO53oOPH6oX
Maybe not laugh, but she saves people with a fearless smile.