• Published 9th Feb 2018
  • 7,597 Views, 118 Comments

A Failure To Plan - Aquaman



Nightmare Moon's about to return and Equestria needs a savior, but don't worry: Celestia's got everything under control. Just as long as Twilight goes to Ponyville on time, and not to Moondancer's party instead--but why would she ever do that?

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Epilogue

Author's Note:

A little something extra that didn’t make the cut for the contest entry.

(Read as: they can’t DQ me for going over the word count now that the contest’s over. Come at me bruh.)

“And…”

Celestia sipped her tea, eyeing Luna over the rim of the cup. “And what?”

“You know what,” Luna grumbled back. “That’s absolutely not what happened.”

“How do you know?” Celestia replied with a languid blink. “You weren’t here for it.”

“I was there for that part,” Luna shot back. “And that part didn’t end that way. Nor did it involve any of those other mares… in fact, who is Moondancer anyway? You never even answered your own question!”

Celestia shrugged. “One of Twilight’s old friends. Before she came to Ponyville and met her new ones.”

“Which, according to you, she never did.”

“Oh, she did.” Celestia set her tea down, deliberately avoiding eye contact with her sister. “Eventually.”

Luna scoffed in a way that Celestia knew meant she was rolling her eyes as well. “So much for that epiphany with Minuette, huh?”

“Oh, don’t think so little of me, sister. Nopony got hurt, and nopony even remembers that they could have been.”

“Right,” Luna groused. “Because you erased all their memories again?”

“I most certainly did not!” came Celestia’s indignant reply. She paused to sip her tea, watching for Luna to do the same before continuing. “As a matter of fact, I went back in time.”

A simple shielding spell was enough to deflect most of the scalding hot liquid Luna spewed Celestia’s way. “You did what?” Luna sputtered once her mouth was empty enough to speak.

“It’s like I said,” Celestia casually explained. “I couldn’t force Twilight to do something she doesn’t want to do. All I did was… nudge her in the right direction.”

“By doing what, precisely?”

Celestia shrugged again. “Commandeering the Elements of Harmony, digging up Star Swirl’s unfinished timewalking spell, discovering the only way for it to work was to channel the combined energies of the elements into said spell, proceeding to actually do that, going back to the day I first met Twilight, and making sure my past self gave her a personal copy of Predictions and Prophecies after she passed her entrance exam.”

Oddly enough, that answer was less terrible than Luna seemed to be expecting. “That… that’s it?” she asked. “No meddling, no mind wipes?”

Celestia shook her head. “Just a book. And that was all it took. When I came back to the present, Twilight had already skipped Moondancer’s party, gone to Ponyville, and restored the Elements of Harmony with the help of her five new best friends.” She finished her tea with a slightly overbearing slurp. “Exactly as planned.”

Now it was Luna’s turn to sigh. “Sister, do you have… any idea how badly that could’ve ended? And what about Moondancer? Whatever happened to her?”

“Well, it didn’t end badly, and that’s what’s important. And I’m sure Moondancer’s fine,” Celestia replied with a wave of her hoof. “She had four other best friends. They’re probably doing great even without Twilight.”

Luna seemed ready to argue the point, but evidently thought better of it after another sip of tea. “I suppose it’s all in the past now anyway,” she muttered. “Tell me you at least safely disposed of Star Swirl’s spell.”

“Oh, of course,” Celestia said. “I left it in a mountain cave in the middle of nowhere, miles from civilization. And even if somepony does find it, it only goes back to that one day anyway, and it requires the power of all six Elements to even function at all—which, if I’m correct, are currently buried beneath the brand-new castle Twilight grew herself after defeating Tirek last week. So, yes, it’s very much taken care of.”

“You didn’t destroy it, though?” Luna said. “That seems–"

“Luna, please,” Celestia said, pouring herself a fresh cup of tea. As she set the pot back down, she thought she caught a glimpse out the throne room window of a train departing Ponyville—perhaps carrying Twilight and her friends off to another mission from that magical map of Equestria she’d acquired along with her castle.

“Trust me, it’s fine,” Celestia finished with a smile. “Everything is under control.”

Comments ( 43 )

Oh, Celestia, you!

Aragon #2 · Mar 10th, 2018 · · 3 ·

Hmm.

Not gonna lie: I liked the story better without this bit. Seems like it kinda goes against the very core of the first chapter -- the theme and the direction it took. It rewinds the whole thing (literally!) so now nothing really matters. Every character arc is rendered meaningless now. Kind of a bummer.

Not a fan of this one, no. But, eh. Didn't enter the judgement, and the first chapter was baller, so I'll just take it as a sequel that's independent from the main chapter -- and I'll call it a day.

8787357
It’s definitely more just a dumb way how this could technically not be AU/a way to explain some shit about Starlight, so I feel that. Call it, like... an AU off the original AU that makes it regular U again.

8787357

Then again it does fit the theory that Celestia is a master manipulator. Moondancer becoming the bearer of the Element of Magic completely messed up what Celestia had planned. She sunk so much time and effort into preparing Twilight for a certain role that Twilight essentially threw it away for someone Celestia didn't even know existed. It also showed another fault of Celestia her inability to see out her actions.

Now if anyone where to write a story based off what happened in this story with Moondancer filling Twilight's role that could be interesting. How would Celestia and Moondancer react when Twilight's destiny is suddenly shifted onto Moondancer and she has none of the preparations that Twilight was given? Or Twilight has her destiny but it is now far more difficult because she is not connected to the Element of Magic but Loyalty.

I find this to be a great explanation of how Starlight got the spell and why the map was able to interact with the spell. Celestia will definitely have to answer for this if Twilight and both groups of her friends find out.

And we need another epilogue where Celestia faces how much this blew up in her face, and how much she f***ed up this time. Just for more laughs if nothing else.

8787366

I like it how this went and how even when Celestia fixed one problem she made another threat possible.

It’s in keeping with theme, at least. We’ve already seen that Celestia is completely unable to improvise, so it’s not much of a stretch to extend that to being completely unable or unwilling to change her mind once she’s made a plan.

In that case, it would be completely in-character for her to change the original parameters to get the outcome she wants requires.

In this case, it also calls into question Celestia’s actual ability to plan. Taking into account her assertions that Moondancer must be fine (she clearly never followed up), and that hiding the scroll in a cave somewhere where anybody could find it — however unlikely — won’t cause a problem, it becomes clear through implication that she’s not a 4D chess master, but assumes that she must be because she only focuses on the outcomes of her planning that appear in front of her, and ignores everything else not because she’s denying reality, but because she can’t be bothered to think beyond what she sees.

This is less of a deviation from canon Celestia than one might think it should be, particularly when you consider that most of the calamities that have befallen Equestria stem in some way from her inability to plan.

8787416

Not much a "master manipulator" as a control freak who stubbornly refuses to let events develope in a way she doesn't like, much less learn from her own mistakes.

8787357

Agreed. Celestia went full Applejack.:applejackconfused:

8787417
I can imagine that Celestia going back in time actually resulted in an event she had planned for Twilight heading another direction and probably resulted in the Butterfly Effect turning Twilight evil. The Butterfly Effect can be a real bitch sometimes.

8787456

There is not much of a difference between the two you could say. Both want one outcome and want it to go a certain way.

8787477

The MM adapts his plans to fit sudden changes in the scenario like a surfer adapts to the waves.
The CF forces the scenario to fits his plans like a bulldozer over a terrain.

:facehoof: Celestia...

A crumpled pack of cigarettes, a silenced pistol and a worn brown briefcase with a bold red cross in a yellow circle and a red sticker with roman 'III' in the corner. Good times.

I liked this... There are a lot of thing i could say but I'll keep it simple at that. :twilightsmile:

I would just like to say before even reading this that it made me very happy, seeing that this story had updated.
(Also Aquaman please write more as this is one of those stories that could and should have more)

*Facehoofs* Really Celestia? REALLY????

Eh... this story was just fine without the additional 'epilogue.' It makes the entire story before pointless, Celestia didn't learn a thing, and we are denied any possibility of future writings based off this alteration. A big disappointment, and you should have left well enough alone.

8787357
It honestly depends on your interpretation of Celestia. In this story Celestia is not a good pony. She's manipulative, dismissive, unkind, and exceptionally selfish and self-centered... her one redeeming quality is that she ultimately wants to good, but because she's so narrow-minded and self-centered she has genuine trouble thinking outside of her own little box. Last chapter we saw a lot of real character growth for her, because she made a massive mistake and then had to live with the consequences of that mistake, and even then Rome wasn't built in a day, she was still going around mind-blasting ponies for her own convenience. Then Starlight comes along and creates her ridiculous retcon spell and Celestia sees an easy way to avoid the consequences of her actions. I can totally see her undoing everything (her own personal growth included) to "fix" things, restore the timeline to canon, then give herself a big ole' pat on the back without really following up on any of the changes she made.

Like heck, look at Moondancer, would have taken Celestia five minutes to solve that problem, but she cares so little about Moondancer she doesn't even bother checking if there is a problem in the first place, instead just assuming things there will work themselves out. Then you have the spell, which Celestia hid instead of destroyed because she likes having a big cosmic reset button within (relatively) easy reach. Make no mistake, while Celestia may very well be the nominal protagonist of this story, I wouldn't exactly call her the "hero" of this particular tale, in any meaning of the word.

Yeah, this story was substantially better without this part.

Sorry, but this is a disimprovement.

Yeah, I can't say I was a fan of this epilogue. Renders the entire story, which I really enjoyed (except for Celestia wiping Minuette's mind after her long, long monologue spilling her innermost feelings), pointless, if you ask me.

The main story: Absolutely fan-(bloody)-tastic!

The epilogue: I dunno. It slightly undercuts all the development Celestia had throughout. I can't help but feel sorry for Moondancer, and angry at Celestia.


8787357 Agreed.

8795662

Bleach is silly, specially beyond the Soul Society Arc.
Aizen is just an Autor Avatar/Gary Stu.

That's why you HAVE to watch Groundhog Day....!
Once you are trapped in such a loop, you are pretty much screwed without.

I would've gone with plans B-Z. Leave Twilight alone!

OK, this epilogue made the story for me. Ha! Wow, that was a crazy ride...

Main story brought a good chuckle from me every paragraph or so, this section had me laugh until I had a coughing fit.
Nobody else seems to notice that her last action here is to oops The Cutie Re-Mark into happening precisely because she had the gall to think of herself as a magnificent planning bastard.

Yep much like has been said. Great story killed by the addition of the epilogue. Really ruins the feel. Anybody reading comments first I recommend skipping the epilogue. That would make the story a far more enjoyable read.

Late to the party, I know. Only just set up my Complete shelf to alert me to unread chapters.

In any case, this is entertaining on the surface, but it definitely undercuts Celestia's journey over the course of the main story. On the other hand, her stubbornness and inflexibility make this course of action entirely believable...

I'm going to call it a wash. This doesn't ruin the story by any means, but I can't honestly say that it improved it either.

D48

...That was surprisingly unimpressive. I figured a contest winner would be funny or at least a decent story, but this just wasn't. There was only one point which really amused me which was balanced by another point where I got seriously knocked out of the story by a piece of obvious author stupidity. The way you handled things with Celestia generally came off as stupid and mean rather than funny, and you topped it off with some really ugly assumptions about the world that made me seriously cringe at your thought process. All in all, this definitely gets a thumbs down from me and makes me much less inclined to read anything else you have written as well as the other winners and recommendations from the contest.

8875776
Sorry to disappoint, man. Comedy’s definitely subjective, as is narrative quality to an extent. There were some really great other entries in the contest, though, so don’t let your not enjoying my story turn you off of checking those out.

D48

8876055
Oh I know there were other good entries. I can think of one off the top of my head that was way better than this but didn't win anything. What this turned me off to is the recommendations because I clearly can't trust the judges to pick (or write) good stories when they chose this over the better submissions.

8876913

Hey! One of the three judges in question here.

We agreed that there were pacing and immersion problems with this story, but we found that the highlights that shine through were the bits that made us laugh out loud harder than most any other entries in the competition. I'm fairly confident with how we placed it.

If there are other stories in specific from that competition you're thinking of? I can talk to you in PM about why we placed this as high as we did, and why others were less considered. But right now your comments are unecessarily malicious and entitled; not only are you telling Aquaman that you think his story is bad, you're saying that you think it's so bad it discredits anyone who could possibly like it.

And that's not remotely fair to us or to him hold our esteem for him against him.

D48

8878008
I have no interest in a further discussion on the subject and was refraining from explicitly mentioning another story in the comments, but since you pushed, I'll go ahead and link it.

Also, I take specific issue with your blatant misrepresentation of my comment. I very clearly said that the problem was putting this story up on a pedestal, NOT enjoying it. Those are very different things, and the fact that you are trying to warp my words like that makes it crystal clear that my previous judgement of you was accurate.

On the one hand, this is a horrendous comedy story with very forced jokes.

HOWEVER on the other hand, it's a beautiful subversion of a character trait (celestia's fanon ostensively to plan) that wouldn't be out of place as a drama or a reflective piece

Well, that was delightful. "Billuminati." :pinkiehappy:

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Oh, that's fucking brilliant. :D

I think FanOfMostEverything said it the most succintly: this doesn't completely ruin the rest of the story; but with the way it kind of takes the wind out of what came before, it means it doesn't really improve the story, either.

Question: This epilogue isn't part of the print version. Is this because it is non canon or just a decision to publish only the text from the contest?

9967443
Bit of both. I tossed the epilogue up here as a jokey “here how this could all technically be canon” bit, so it didn’t feel like it really belonged in the print version.

I see this is where we get Starlight.

Well, now, that was interesting. I agree with the comments saying that the epilogue kinda ruins the story, but then again, the only LOL moment for me was Luna spitting out her tea. Also, I just don't see Moon Dancer becoming the element of magic. Aside from that, nice story.
emoji.discadia.com/emojis/0daea096-054a-4cab-98fb-3e1c9df97487.PNG

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