What You've Been Missing

by SPark

What You've Been Missing

The summer night was beautiful. A faint breeze carried the scents and sounds of the countryside wafting into the city. The stars twinkled overhead, with barely a cloud in sight. High overhead, the waxing moon was bright, nearly full.

Despite all this beauty, Sunburst walked with his head down and his wings drooping. The amber-colored pegasus was not enjoying the warm summer night.

The blue pegasus stallion beside him was trotting jauntily along, his wings up and his tail swishing. He looked over at his companion and said, "Hey dude, you're going to get laid, not to a funeral. Buck up! This'll be great, you'll see."

"If you say so, Cerulean," said Sunburst tiredly.

The pair arrived before a door with a red-glowing lantern beside it. Cerulean nodded at the door. "Here we are."

Sunburst blinked at the plain wooden portal. "This doesn't look right. I thought we were going to Rosie's?"

"This is the place. How would you know what Rosie's looks like anyway? Been holdin' out on us? Maybe you don't need my help to make a stallion of you after all!"

Sunburst flushed and looked away, mumbling something.

His friend laughed and opened the door. "Come on."

Inside was not quite what Sunburst had expected. He wasn't sure exactly what that was—something with mares draped seductively all over, probably—but the restrained elegance of the reception room with only a single stallion at a desk was not it.

"May I help you, young sirs?"

"Yeah. My buddy Sunburst is here to become a stallion at last," said Cerulean with a broad grin.

"I see." The purple unicorn looked between them, then nodded. "It will be fifty bits."

"Nice. This should cover it. Keep the change." Cerulean handed over a pouch.

The stallion took it without counting the contents. His horn glowed, and the door leading further inside opened. "You may enter."

"Go get 'em, big boy," said Cerulean with a further grin.

Sunburst slunk through the door with his tail between his legs.

Inside, there was still no sign of the seductive mares draped all over. Instead, a single figure reclined on a couch near the center of the dimly lit room. The low light meant it took a few seconds for Sunburst to make sense of what he was seeing. When he did, his eyes widened in shock.

"Welcome," said the changeling, her voice a low, throaty purr. Or perhaps it was more of a buzz, it was nothing like a pony voice. "I am Ember."

"I... uh... I'm Sunburst." Sunburst swallowed.

"Are you afraid of me?"

"Uhm. O-of course not. I just wasn't expecting a, uh, expecting you."

"Given that this is your first visit here, I am not surprised." She smiled warmly at him. It was odd how friendly that expression was, given the sharp fangs it revealed.

"Yeah. Uh..."

"So, do you have a fantasy you wish to tell me? I can be whatever you want me to be. Or whoever."

Oh. Sunburst suddenly managed to put two and two together. Of course. "I..." he started to say "I don't know," then an image flashed through his mind. A pony, always glimpsed from a distance, beautiful beyond measure. He'd known she was out of his league, but he'd had a crush on her all the same. He fantasized sometimes that she would notice him, speak to him, perhaps even be willing to go out with him. He'd known it was foolish. She was older than he, and a sophisticated, intelligent and very famous unicorn. He was a pegasus of no particular distinction. Still, perhaps if he saw the face of his crush, he might somehow find a way to feel a flicker of desire? "Do... do you know, uhm, R-Rarity? The Manehattan fashion designer?"

"I do." Ember smiled. A flash of green fire washed over her. When it faded, instead of the tall, charcoal-dark form of the changeling, there was an elegant, slender unicorn mare lying on the couch. Every detail of her form was just how Sunburst remembered it. "How is this, darling?" she said. The voice was perfect too, a rich alto with just a hint of a Canterlot accent.

"Wow," said Sunburst.

"You still seem rather tense though. Perhaps we could begin with a massage, to help you relax?"

"That would be... okay."

"Follow me then, my dear." Ember got to her feet and walked across the room, her tail swishing seductively as she went. Sundrop followed, his own tail still held low. He got the feeling that even with her looking like Rarity, he still wasn't going to enjoy the night much. Still, he had to go through with it, whatever it took.

The room she led him to was something like a miniature spa. The whole place was tiled in white, accented with turquoise here and there. A tub big enough for three or four ponies stood against one wall, and an open door showed a small sauna. Shelves held soaps and oils and bottles of shampoo. A massage table stood near the tub, and that was where Ember led him.

He settled himself on the table, stretching his body out and trying to relax. Ember stood beside him and began to work on his back. Her hooves were gentle at first, simply running over his fur lightly. He'd expected her to straddle him, and to be acting more flirty and sexual, but he might as well have been at an actual spa.

Though her voice held a hint of heat when she spoke, even if the words were not exactly seductive. "Tell me about yourself. You know me, of course, everypony who's anypony does. But I am ashamed to admit that I do not know you at all."

Sunburst could almost believe that was actually Rarity. Ember mimicked her flawlessly. "Well, I'm a student. I'll be graduating this year in weather systems, with a specialty in high altitude work."

"Oh? I'm afraid I don't know a great deal about weather work." Her hooves continued to work at his back, digging in a little now, kneading at the stiff muscles there. Sunburst let his eyes slide half closed, actually relaxing a little at last.

"You could probably learn basic cloud-handling if you wanted. I mean, here in Canterlot, half the weather teams are unicorns."

She chuckled softly. "Indeed. Though weather is not my special talent, darling. Believe me. But come, tell me more of your studies." As she spoke she circled around him to work on the other side for a while. Her hooves were sure and warm against his back. It felt very good. He just managed to not moan as she pushed on a particularly stubborn knot.

"Well... this year I'm taking advanced magical theory. Beginning theory is a gen ed requirement, of course, and the intermediate is actually required for my major. Magic is a big part of how weather management works, after all. Native pegasus magic isn't quite the same as unicorn magic, we can't actually cast, but we do have some all the same."

"Yes. I remember learning about that."

Sunburst nodded. Then he gasped softly as Ember finally moved up to massage the muscles between his wings. They were one giant mass of knots, and her touch sent shocks of pain through him. But it was a good pain, and the more she worked, the more he relaxed.

"Why are you taking advanced theory though? Is that also required for your major?"

"No." He had to pause to gasp again as she worked right at the base of his wings. "I'm the only non-unicorn in the class. But I enjoy it and I needed an extra elective. It's all theory, so it doesn't matter if I can't cast."

"Are all your classes going well for you then?"

"Oh yeah. I like school. I'll miss it a bit when I graduate. Though I look forward to having a job in weather work."

"I see. I am rather puzzled, though. If it isn't school, and you do not yet have a job, what is it that has caused you so much stress? You are a mass of knots, darling."

Sunburst froze.

"And if you tense up again like that, you will undo all my hard work." Ember pouted at him. He flushed a bit and tried to relax. "Now come, tell me everything. I'll pry it out of you eventually, so you may as well confess now and save me the trouble."

"I... well..." Sunburst's ears went flat back against his head in misery. "I guess you could say it's my social life."

"Or lack thereof?"

"Or lack of mares and presence of stallions. My buddies are just... they just... They won't leave me alone. About the mares. They..." He broke off, flushing more brightly.

Ember arched one eyebrow at him. "Yes?"

"They found out a couple of months ago that I'm still a virgin, and they just wouldn't let it go. They kept at me and kept at me and kept at me, and then last week they all chipped in some bits, and cornered me, and made me agree to come here, so I could 'be a stallion'." There was more bitterness in Sunburst's voice than he had really intended.

"Coming here was not your idea, then?"

"Heh. No."

"You sound upset."

Sunburst heaved a sigh, his ears dropping, his wings hanging down from his sides. "I think something's wrong with me. I should be excited, right? Getting laid, and by my fantasy crush, no less, ought to have me jumping for joy. But when I dream about Rarity, I don't dream about getting her in bed. I dream about loving her. Her loving me. Us having a life together. I'd work my way up the Canterlot weather team until I was a captain, buy us a big, beautiful house on the high slopes, and we'd live there together. We'd take care of each other. We'd love each other. Maybe have a couple of foals..." He sighed again. "Hell, I know having that with Rarity is probably impossible, but maybe someday I'll meet a mare I can spend my life with. That's what I want. Wanting to just rut like an animal... that doesn't appeal to me at all." He blinked, remembering who he was talking to. "Uh, no offense."

"I take none whatsoever, darling." Ember smiled warmly down at him. "I do not particularly care for mere rutting either. A genuine emotional connection, however small, is something I strongly prefer before bedding a pony." She bent down and kissed the top of his head lightly. "The one thing I absolutely require, however, is my partner's enthusiastic consent. If you have no desire to lose it, then you are perfectly free to leave here with your virginity intact, my dear."

"But my friends..."

"They may mean well, but they are not being true friends to you, if they have forced you to come here against your will."

"I... they... they're right though. No real stallion would be here, with you, and not want you."

"Nonsense."

"But..."

"A 'real stallion' is one who is true to his own dreams. You've told me your dream, and it doesn't have rutting with a whore anywhere in it, does it?"

Sunburst looked up at her, frowning. Her words were working their way slowly into his mind, but he couldn't let one thing pass. "You're not a whore."

Ember chuckled, her expression showing only amusement. "I am. I take payment, in bits and in other currency, for sexual services. That's rather the definition of 'whore', darling. I'm not ashamed of it. It's the best way I've found to get what I need."

"Love, you mean?"

"Among other things. If it were only love..." Her expression turned distant. Then she shook herself. "Suffice it to say that I enjoy what I do. The way you enjoy weather, perhaps. Doing this is being true to my nature in many ways."

Sunburst let his head fall to the massage table, feeling something that had been ground down by month's of his friends' constant ribbing slowly spring back up in him. Ember was right. "Having sex with you wouldn't be being true to mine."

"No."

He went to get up. "I should go then."

"Tch." She snorted. "Please, just because you don't need all my services doesn't mean you shouldn't get your money's worth. The tub is there for soaking. I can wash your back, if you like. Your wings look like they haven't been preened properly in weeks. You are still tense, I should at least finish your massage before you go. You'll leave here looking like a million bits." She smiled.

"Heh. Cerulean will think I did get laid."

"Let him, then. I don't think he's much of a friend." Ember tossed her head, the gesture perfectly Rarity in nature.

Sunburst gave a little shrug. "He is a friend, he just doesn't understand."

"I suppose you know him better than I, darling." She turned and trotted away. "Now relax there while I fill the tub. And do let me know if you have any preferred scents. I personally enjoy lavender, it's quite calming, but some stallions find it a bit too feminine."

"Uh. I guess lavender is all right."

"Wonderful." Her horn was glowing green—one way in which she did not perfectly imitate Rarity, he noted—as she turned knobs and then floated over an assortment of jars. "Perhaps I'll try sandalwood instead. That is also quite decadent, and rather masculine, don't you think?"

Sunburst laughed and said, "Whatever you think is best, I don't know anything about any of this." It was remarkable, he thought as he watched her prepare the bath, how much better he suddenly felt.

Climbing into the tub was pure bliss, and when Ember climbed in next to him he didn't tense up at all, he just let her wash his back and put shampoo in his mane.

That was followed by the rest of the massage, and then by a thorough, sensual, and yet wonderfully relaxing preening. Sunburst's wings had never felt better.

When it was all done, he really did feel like a million bits. He admired himself in the floor length mirror on one wall. His wings were sleek and perfect. His coat gleamed. His dark orange mane practically sparkled. He turned to Ember and smiled at her. "Thank you."

"Think nothing of it." He saw Rarity's easy generosity in the smile she gave back to him, and wondered suddenly how much the form she took influenced the changeling. Would she have acted differently in some other shape? Would she have said something different? Or was the changeling herself also generous?

"I didn't give you any love though."

"Love isn't the only emotion I can draw energy from, darling. Gratitude can supply what I need as well. It's one of my favorite flavors, in fact."

"Oh. Well... thank you all the same."

"You're very welcome. Now come, let's see if your friend is still waiting. Though I shall be changing forms to go to the door. I don't want to damage another pony's reputation by having her seen here by somepony who may not understand what's going on."

"Of course." Sunburst watched with interest as green fire flickered over Rarity's form. When it passed there was an earth pony there, her mane and coat both blue. The smile she gave him was much the same as the one she'd worn as Rarity.

She led the way out of the spa, back through the sitting room, and to the reception room door. It swung open at the touch of her magic. Sunburst stepped through, seeing that Cerulean was indeed still sitting in the reception room.

"Thank you for coming," said Ember, her voice dropping to a throaty purr as she added, "You can feel free to come again any time." Then she grinned and gave him a broad wink.

He could help himself, he laughed. "I might," he said.

"Woah," said Cerulean, sounding impressed. "Turns out you're a real lady's man once you get unwound, huh?"

Sunburst headed for the door, chuckling. "Not exactly."

Cerulean trailed after him. "Huh? But the way she was all flirting like that..."

"We got along rather well, yes. But I didn't 'get unwound'."

Cerulean's hoofsteps behind him halted for a moment, then trotted to catch up with him as he went out the door and into the street. "What? You mean you didn't get laid?"

"Nope." Sunburst would never have thought that he could say that and feel so good about it.

"Hey! You chickened out and wasted our bits? After all our effort to help you?"

"They weren't wasted."

"Yes they were. Now we gotta do this again, so you can actually be a real stallion."

"I am a real stallion." Sunburst smiled. "Ask Ember if you don't believe me."

"But... you just said you didn't get laid."

"Yep."

"What the hell?"

"Let's just say that being a 'real stallion' hasn't got anything to do with getting laid. Maybe someday you'll understand."

"Dude. Maybe someday you'll actually get some and you'll see what you've been missing."

Sunburst smiled cheerfully, thinking of his dreams. "When the right time comes, I won't have missed anything."

Author's Note:

Brought to you in part by my lovely patrons on Patreon. If you'd like to support my writing, consider becoming a patron today.

Comments

[Flutter-Spark]

Brilliance in every conceivable way is portrayed here. A deeply moving story of a young stallion coming to understand what it truly means to "be a stallion" and thus coming of age by a bit. A solid theme coupled with amazing writing that is flawless. If anyone ever doubts your writing talent, I shall direct them here to this masterpiece.
This felt great to read as a standalone, and I for one thank you for sharing it as such.

[Phantom Night]

Before i start reading this i must point out that it is always strange to see a story where an OC has a canon name, in this case Sunburst. Regardless of that, your stories are usually really good so i will give this one a shot

[NorrisThePony]

Short and sweet, and I really like your OCs here.

[horizon]

Chock full of the gently affirming maturity that drew me to reading Ember's in the first place. I hope this gets the extra attention it deserves by being out from behind the Mature wall.

[Princeling]

Not really much to say here except, nice job. Sadly, I can't favorite, my friends like to search my computer too much. Have a like though.

[Stellar_]

A very nice story

[Cynewulf]

I really enjoyed this the first time around.

[FTL]

A neat little story exploring a concept that many fail to understand. Very well done.

[The Lunar Toaster]

I came here expecting porn, this really wasn't what I was expecting. It's a really well told fic, though. Kinda made me think about myself for a minute there.

[AzureShade]

This really captured what it means to be Asexual BUT not Aromantic.

You want to love someone, to share your life with someone, you just don't want to have sex.

I understand this because I'm that way. Beautiful story.

[Alondro]

A pony fanfic where the characters DON'T end up rutting madly...

A SIGN OF THE END!!! THE END IS NEIGH!!!

[Harmony Pie]

This was nice. There’s hardly ever any ace-rep on here ^^

[Crescent Minor]

Very nice, very simple, very sweet. His friend's lack of understanding was quite familiar; he didn't mean anything by it, but oh, how linear and set is his mind, and he hasn't any intention of changing that.

[The Iguana Man]

Well, that was an excellent read.

Admittedly, I did feel a desire for his friend to get punched hard, but that's always my reaction to such arseholery (yes, yes, I know, he meant well, doesn't change that he was being a dick).

Seriously, though, this did a great job of capturing and reflecting many asexual feelings (and lack thereof). Or, at least, many of the feelings I have as one.

Even if one of them was that horrible feeling of "Wow, you really think you're helping, don't you?".

[Noc]

Very nice little story. Not ace myself, but I have a friend who is, and I try to learn more about it. Do you have any experience with it, SPark?

Also:
8658831
8659013
Interesting that the only comments to receive downvotes are the ones that mention asexuality.

[Harmony Pie]

8672025
That... is weird?? But okay :3

[SPark]

8672025
Some people have strange chips on their shoulders.

I'm not asexual, but I'm a bit tangental to it. I engage in a lot of things most people associate with sex (BDSM, for example) in non-sexual ways, and I have to admit that the relentless assumption that if I want you to flog me I also want you to fuck me is very obnoxious sometimes. I imagine aces feel much the same way about the relentless assumption that relationships are sexual and that people need to have sex to be happy.

[Eskerata]

I just gave this story it's one hundredth upvote, for it's a grown up story about how adults see sex. It's fun, but not essential for happiness, for being a "real stallion".
Smart writing as usual, SPark.

[SPark]

8717602
Thank you!

[GaPJaxie]

I enjoyed this very much. Enough that I wish to read more of your work. Have a follow.

[SPark]

8890246
Yay!

[Darkstarling]

That was nice. It's too bad Cadence probably has issues with Changelings, because she could do quite well working for the Princess of Love.

Also, thanks for breaking this out from the Mature stories. I almost always have those turned off and I wouldn't have wanted to miss this.

[savageries]

This was a very wonderful story, and executed beautifully.

[SPark]

8995933
9001124
Thank you.

[Celefin]

Ah yes, this one's so good it really deserves its place as a standalone.
Ember might just be my favourite character ever. All about her just feels so... right?

And looking back, I actually wish I was a bit like Sunburst. He may not realize it fully at this point in his life, but his 'problem' may turn out to be a kind of gift as well. In hindsight it would have made a lot of my life a whole lot easier and prevented many stupid things.
I never met an Ember as well, of course. Too bad.

Thanks for providing this deep supply of characters and perspectives on existence in your many tales. May you never drop writing ponies completely.

[SPark]

9626547
Thank you! I have no plans to ever totally abandon ponies. I mean, I'm still writing Legend of Zelda fic, and the last time I played a Zelda game was years ago.

[Elu]

Very nice. It speaks to me on some level, although I'm not asexual. I'm not looking for mindless rutting, that is true, but I do dream of sex with the person I love. Haven't really found the right one yet, though... I simply lost interest in it all. Relationships are a bunch of problems. And I've yet to meet a girl that I'd want to spend a big portion of my life with. Maybe someday. Or never. I don't really care anymore, I stopped being a horny teen not so long ago. Plus, living by myself is nice. It's quiet, I can do anything I want, and I don't have to concern myself with anything else.

But enough of blabbering. You wrote a good story, and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

[Borg]

Once upon a time, during my family's annual trip to Tahoe, we were on our way to somewhere in Nevada when my brother happened to notice on Google Maps that there was a brothel up ahead, and naturally he offered this interesting tidbit to the rest of the car. Of course, it's not exactly every day that you pass a brothel when you live in a state where prostitution isn't legal, so we decided we'd take a very brief detour off the freeway to actually drive directly past it and get a few pictures. As we approached, though, a sign informed us that they also give tours (no sex required); presumably we're not the first people to pass by for novelty value. My brother's girlfriend was against such a tour, but she was overruled. I'm pretty sure even I was more intrigued by the novelty than I was uncomfortable with the idea of going in.

And that's my story about being an ace in a brothel.

[SPark]

10405424
Hah! I've never been in one. I'm curious about the real thing, but of course what the real thing looks like in our world wouldn't much affect how I write Ember's, since she's not meant to be a realistic portrayal of sex work. (The stories are meant to portray real problems, but, you know...)

[tsaukpaetra]

We've often wondered what quality is lost when "losing virginity" and why so many seem to value it so greatly. Hurrah, genitals have touched! But it's meaningless. Why does the instance of an action define a social status?
We suppose it's not much different than "baby's first word", but at least for that nobody judges a late talker like they do virgins.... 🤔