One of Twlights Experiments goes wrong and a certian Pony is brought into the Mix.
Adventure awaits.
Chapters (8)
Wilhelm
Joined 23rd Nov, 2011 ·
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Sounds like a good start. Quite a few spelling and grammar errors, these are just nitpicky complaints though. This is doing well and I'd like to see it flourish. Congratulations! You've earned yourself a follower! Also, (I can't believe I'm doing this but,) FIRST
The title image alone is enough for a win.
You've got me intrigued, at the very least. I'll follow for a few chapters and see where it goes.
fantastic
Am I the only one that notices the title picture is a near-accurate representation of the average tf2 player?
DAT PICTURE.
Picture sold it, now ill have to read it later
One thing you need ot work on is your vocabulary, you are using the word sad too much (not when it was supposed to be a repetitve them but at other points... your vocabulary is just... limited.
interesting
74633
In what way Meta Knight?
The Pic is ALL KINDS OF COOL xD
this is very well written. will continue to read the rest
lol this story is very good and a cupcakes reference *clap clap clap*
lol this is cool and the ending hilarious
well, that makes two of us. i'm autistic as well. if you need a proofreader, i'll gladly give you a hand. i know your pain man.
lolololololol........ will be waiting eagerly for next chapter keep up the good work.. =P
MOAR CANNON ACTIVATION IN...
"3"
"2"
"1"
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
lol nice story and funny ending
Diggin this chapter... though I can't wait for the doctor to show up!
Omg lol cuppcakes
"Authors note: Wow another update, don't get used to this, once the holidays are over it will be back to once a week. "
You made me cry... Bring up my hopes only to smash them in my face....
PINKIE!... The cake is a lie...
ah the cupcakes reference never gets old!
awesome
86710 OI!! THATS MY LINE!!!
Urge to kill Rainbow Dash has increased by 22%.
Hey dude. A little bit a warning. PLEASE NOT TOO MUCH DITZY IN THIS her being the doctors assistant is WAY the hell overused and you're probably going to lose viewers over it.
the chapters are never long enough for me =(
To the doctors last statement; WOT.
ahhh school ...btw nice story cant wait til i read the rest
can't wait for school to start back up for me... Sick of living at home miss the freedom of college.... Also remember writing more is always better then less.
Twilight is a jerk for making AppleBloom cry. I don't care if the world depends on it! Don't. Hurt. My. AppleBloom!
Well you certainly write Pinkie Pie well.
"I finish writing chapters about 5 mins, before I post them."
Oh, that is a big nono. You should wait a day before posting a finished chapter to read it over and correct some mistakes.
Anyways, the pacing of the story seems a tad slow, but other than that and the grammar errors it's fine.
the fourth wall...can't Pinkie just imagine it's there?
this is epic i love the story
Just a few things
It sails Twilight pooped into the room where it should say Twilight popped into the room.
A couple things are conjugated wrong.
WAll of text. Consider formatting. Put indents at the beginning of paragraphs, use left align instead of justified, and double space between paragraphs. That should make it easier to read.
And if I may ask, how old are you. Your age might explain why it's so badly written.
I don't like it how pinkie just came out and broke the 4th wall in public. I see her more like a shrek 4th wall pony
i very much like it so far
I absolutely love it that the doctor is a pony